Forgiveness
Kids have great memories. They know song lyrics, quote movies and books, and they can remind you of things you had completely forgotten about. This can be good or bad, depending on the situation.bFor example, it can make it hard for kids to forgive others who wrong them. Children who learn to forgive, live happier and healthier lives than those who hold grudges.
Kids will benefit from learning these five truths about forgiveness.
First, choose forgiveness quickly. People having a saying “forgive and forget.” Is that really possible? God says in Hebrews 10:17, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” God is omniscient—He knows everything. But here He’s stating His choice to not remember. When we hold a grudge, we rehearse the offense in our minds until it’s impossible to forget. So, our first truth is that when we choose quickly to forgive, it IS possible to forget.
Second, God commands us to forgive. Forgiveness isn’t an option. The Bible says in Colossians 3:13 “…as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He taught them to say, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). If we ask to be forgiven to the same extent that we have forgiven others, but we haven’t forgiven others, then we’re asking to not be forgiven!
Third, forgiveness involves absorbing pain. Kids have a keen sense of justice. They will quickly say “but that’s not fair.” If someone does something wrong, it’s only fair that they suffer the consequences, right? You can assure kids that God also has a keen sense of justice. Every sin must be punished, because that is justice. But instead of making us suffer for every one of our sins, HE took the punishment. He absorbed the pain and let us go free. When we forgive someone and don’t demand they apologize or pay for what they did, let’s be honest, we have to absorb the pain of what they did. It hurts, and it hurts our sense of justice unless we choose to absorb it. Then, and only then, can we enter into the fellowship of suffering with Christ mentioned in Philippians 2. We can hand that pain to Jesus, thank Him for absorbing pain for us, and be at peace about the injustice. Often, even if someone does apologize or have consequences, it doesn’t seem like enough to our sense of fairness, so choosing to absorb the pain like Jesus did is the most helpful thing we can do.
Fourth, forgiveness does not equal trust. Forgiveness is something given; trust is something earned. Kids need to understand not all people are trustworthy. The kind of people they can trust are those who consistently have integrity and do right. Forgiving someone does not mean we have to trust them. This is especially true when the offense was serious. Although kids should forgive those who hurt them, that doesn’t mean they should spend time with them, or that the bully or abuser gets to go unpunished. Forgiveness is the choice to no longer hold onto bitterness, whether the offender ever says they are sorry. Sometimes, telling on someone to a higher authority is the kind and right thing to do, so the offender can learn to become a trustworthy person.
Fifth, forgiveness has benefits. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Finding freedom in forgiveness brings many physical, mental, and spiritual benefits, whereas bitterness causes discouragement to the point of physical, mental, and spiritual sickness. People like that aren’t good friends to be around. Teach kids that the benefits of forgiveness are peace, comfort, love, and joy. These things will make them a pleasant person to be around and a good witness of what God is like.
Teaching kids these 5 principles from Scripture will help them on their way to walking with God, the epitome of love and forgiveness.