Have you ever had a child your teaching just lose it? Maybe they started screaming or perhaps a fight broke out? It can be difficult to manage behavior, especially when your students have experienced trauma. Today, I’ll give you four tips for handling the behavior of troubled youth.

First, Understand the Battle  
The battle is never against the young person but against the forces of evil. Satan does not want this child to experience Jesus. Pray that God would give you wisdom and love for this, specific youth. Pray over the space where you meet with her and ask God to protect her from the enemy. Pray for the child’s salvation. We can’t expect kids to behave apart from a relationship with Jesus. Depending on the situation, you may be the only person who is praying for this kid. That is a huge privilege and responsibility. Remember that ultimately Jesus is the only person who can bring about change in the life and family of the child.

2. Build a Relationship  
It’s important you understand why this young person may be acting out. If you never spend time getting to know the him, you will never know why he may be upset. A number of situations may cause a child to act out or shut down. Spend time talking with the child one on one, asking him questions about what he enjoys. Greet him right away when you see him, learn his name and sit with him during teaching and activities. All of these things show him that you love him. Always put the relationship over the behavior problem. This creates a safe atmosphere that allows kids to shed their survival roles.

Third, Give Choices Instead of Commands  
Children who have experienced trauma need to have control. There is so much chaos in their life that’s out of their control, and the people who should be stable in their lives aren’t, so they grasp for control whenever possible. Help them have safe levels of control by giving them choices. For example, if they’re acting out, instead of just saying “You need to move over there”, you could say, “We’re getting a little distracted here. You can choose to sit by Miss Sally or over on the other side. Which would you like?.” This still moves the child away from the distraction but does it in a way where he still has control. You can use this approach for reinforcing any rule. If a child feels that he is being forced to do something it may trigger a negative response. Allowing him to choose makes a safe environment. Whenever correcting a child, always do so at eye level. Eye level tells the child “We’re in this together.”

Fourth, Create Structure 
Keeping to a structured schedule helps kids who have experienced trauma know what to expect. Build consistent routine and transitions. Be sure to tell them if something that day is going to be different than normal. A sudden change can trigger a child and cause them to act out or shut down. Let them know clearly what is happening that day and what the expected behavior is. If they don’t handle the day well, don’t reward them. Say something like “Next week you can try again, and I know you can do it.,” or “We all have hard days and that’s ok. Next week I know you will nail it.” If a child does shuts down or acts out, work together to figure out what went wrong. Asking the child, “What happened?” And “What made you feel this way?” Is a great way to figure out how they are feeling and what may have caused the behavior. Having yourself or someone else available to take him for a walk in an area that’s visible to others is a good way to get the extra energy expended and have the privacy to talk.

Those four tips are Understand the Battle, Build a Relationship, Give Choices, and Create Structure. God bless you as you Teach Kids.