CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION
TITLE: The Curvy Bride
DURATION: 20:26

Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.

Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection, a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits. Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.

As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way.

Lauren: Today we have Michelle Files with us. She is the owner of The Curvy Bride, a beautiful plus size bridal boutique in Manalapan, New Jersey. MichelleÕs story begins when she was a bride to be herself and found herself frustrated with the lack of dresses available for her to try on while shopping. MichelleÕs solution? Create a wedding outfit haven that caters to plus size women. Michelle, thank you so, so much for joining us today!

Michelle: Thank you so much for having me. Lauren. I'm so happy to be here!

Lauren: Happy to have you! And I guess to start off, your story begins when you were having trouble finding dresses and shops that catered to you. But do you think that's where your wedding story begins? Or do you think it begins somewhere else?

Michelle: Well, in terms of opening my own business, I would definitely say that's just something I've always wanted to do. And it just happened to be that when I was shopping for wedding dresses and realized that I couldn't find anything to try on myself is when it all clicked together, that this is what needs to happen. But I've always been an entrepreneur at heart and it turns out the wedding industry is where I belong. You know, I went to business school, I got my MBA, and I've always just wanted to be my own boss and this was a great way to do it.

So I actually used to do finance for really big fortune 500 companies, and I used to work in Manhattan and I would be commuting for hours a day, sitting at the computer all day. And I mean, I liked my jobs but I just always wanted to work for myself. And I never worked in retail. I never worked in a bridal shop. But again, when I went shopping for myself and I saw this gap in the industry, I really started researching are there any plus sized bridal shops in the area? And there just wasn't. 

And what's really crazy is that I really did stumble upon it, because I just happened to find some really good people along the way to help me out. And without them, I don't think I'd be where I am today. 

I actually met an owner over the phone of a plus size bridal shop out in Cincinnati. I still am in touch with her to this day. And I just picked up the phone one day and said, ÒHey, I'm thinking about opening a plus sized bridal shop here in New Jersey, we have nothing like this.Ó And we just hit it off over the phone. We were on the phone for like two hours and she said ÒDo you want to fly out and check out my shop and I'll kind of show you the ropes?Ó And I took her right up on it. 

And from there, she kind of introduced me the different retailers and you know, it's just kind of these circumstances where if I didn't pick up the phone that day, I don't know if I would have been confident enough. But I had kind of this guardian angel helping me out along the way. 

And you know, just from there, it all, it all just kind of fell into place. You know, I'm just so thankful that I wound up, you know, coming out of the gate so successful in an industry that I really didn't have any experience in. 

But I also think having a business degree and knowing the numbers really plays a huge part in owning your own business. So I did have that and I just kind of learned the wedding industry along the way. Turns out I'm pretty good at it!

Lauren: It's always nice to hear when women help other women and you are helping women and people who are looking for wedding gowns. Obviously you cater to a curvier set of brides but I would love to know what The Curvy Bride offers that you're not going to get at you know,  another bridal shop.

Michelle: You know whatÕs funny? When I went shopping, it was difficult for me to walk into a store and I see all these beautiful dresses and half of them I can't try on because they're size two, size four. And so what's nice about The Curvy Bride is that you can literally walk in here and try on any dress. 

And also I just didn't like the fact when I was shopping that I had to stand next to other brides literally in the same room, probably about 10 feet from them. And you know again, I just É I didn't feel great about myself at the weight I was at and I was already self-conscious about buying a dress. And having to stand next to a bride in the same room you know who is significantly smaller and I just felt she looks so great in anything, how could I look great in anything when I'm standing right here next to her and I'm like twice the size of her?

So I pretty much took these things that bothered me at other shops and I did like the complete opposite here. So you can try on anything here when you walk in. You have your own private room. Nobody will see you if you don't want them to. We have two separate rooms that the doors close in between, so you're literally in your own room. And on the weekdays if you're here and it's quiet, you have the whole boutique to yourself. 

And also just the quality of the dresses. I mean, I've been places where, you know, they think that just because we're plus size that we don't want quality dresses, but we want to wear everything that everybody else is wearing. And so we basically have everything that the other bridal shops have, you know, in terms of our designers: Maggie Sottero, Allure, Stella York, Essence of Australia. But they're in sizes that people can try on. So it's really just one stop shopping and it's a comfortable place to be. So I would definitely say we're unique in that way. 

And I also have to give a huge shout out to my employees, because, like, they'll literally be working at night! I'm like in bed and they're coming up with ideas! And like, they're just so enthusiastic and so motivated, and they just all have such a passion for the shop. And we care so much about every single bride and everybody's happiness. And you're really just part of the family here and not a customer. 

So I think that those are some of the biggest things that make us unique. You know, we're truly in this business because we love it. It's not about the money. It's about helping people feel beautiful on one of the most important days of their lives. And that's really our soul here.

Lauren: The word that comes to mind after hearing that description of The Curvy Bride is, you know, a comfort that only comes with, as you just said, a family sort of vibe. That's so hard when you're so stressed about such a big event that's about to come up in your life so the fact that you offer comfort in your shop is amazing! I would love to know when you were shopping, since you didn't find what you've now created, how did you find your dress? 

Michelle: I'd gone to basically three shops. The first shop I went to I had literally like 10 people with me. And I had no idea. I mean I was a size 16 when I got married but my wedding gown was a 22 because they run so small. And I had no idea that I went to the store with all these people with me. And I couldn't put on one dress. They had one size 14 in the shop and they tried to stuff me in it and I looked ridiculous. 

And I literally just went out of there and I had all these people with me and I couldn't even like try on anything. And so I went to another shop that day and like you could just tell like everybody was getting tired, they didn't want to be there. And like, I just left that shop in tears. 

And then the third shop I went to I actually went by myself. I mean, I liked my wedding dress, don't get me wrong, but I didn't have like really any choice. Like, first of all, they had like maybe two dresses in the store I could even try on and that was pretty much it. And I was totally out of time. It was August when I was shopping and my wedding was February, and I needed to get a dress. 

So I mean, I liked my dress but I didn't have any options. Like even today, like the brides we have, like, they love this dress, they love this dress! It's like one after another! And it's like so nice for them to be able to actually try things on and see what they look like and be able to choose a dress. 

You know, I've heard of places you know, where consultants are offering to put on dresses so they can see what it looks like instead of the bride herself. And, you know, I mean, that's just crazy to me. So, yeah É so I mean, I wound up finding my dress, but it was literally, you know, I wish I just had some more choices, that's all. I mean it was nice, I liked my dress, but that's what I could fit into.

Lauren: Every person deserves to have a choice in what they're going to be wearing on that day. And I think you're doing a service for so many people so that they don't have to experience what you experienced. And I guess the other part of that I would love to know is, you liked your dress, but if you got to go and shop again have you ever you know, while working at your shop gone, ÒOh, I would have picked thisÓ or ÒI would have picked that.Ó 

Michelle: Honestly, we have so many pretty dresses here right now! I have like five favorites! So I would definitely need a lot of opinions, because they are a lot different than when I got married 10 years ago. The styles are just unbelievable now. There's a lot of glitter and there's a lot of lace, and there's a lot of personalization you can do and customization to the dresses. 

So yeah, I mean, it's fun, because like when new dresses come in I try them on all the time. So I just, you know, that's how I get my fix! I don't know, because 10 years ago, the styles were different. So it's hard to answer that question because the trends change like wildfire! 

Lauren: Because we like to focus on this podcast about the psychology around what you wear and how that makes you feel as a person, whether you're reflecting outwards who you truly are through your clothes, or whether the clothes help you become the person that you need to be on a day, how do you at The Curvy Bride help brides make a decision that allows them to really fully feel themselves beyond you know, I want beads and I want lace and I want glitter? How do you ensure that they walk out with the perfect dress that tells them that this is for them? 

Michelle: ItÕs just really important to sit down with the bride during those first 15 minutes and really listen to her and hear what she's saying. What are the things she likes? Does she have any inspiration? Does she have any pictures? A lot of times they walk in with pictures from our website. And sometimes they're spot on with what they like and other times they're trying things on that they thought that they would like and they wind up liking something totally different. 

And then we start putting dresses on her and as we're going we'll say ÒYou know, what do you like about this dress? What don't you like about this dress?Ó And as we're going along we just kind of narrow it in, where you know the bride gives definitely signals of things she likes and things she doesn't. YouÕre almost like navigating to that final dress. 

But in the meantime it's nice for the consultants to also give their input because again a lot of times É like when I was shopping I would never think that I would look good in a fit and flare. And a lot of girls walk in and they would never think that they would look good in a dress that doesn't have sleeves or a more fitted dress and they try them on and they're pleasantly surprised. So that's part of our job is to really help brides figure out what they want. 

You know it's not like you're going to the mall and buying a pair of jeans. A lot of these girls are trying on dresses for the first time with us. They have no idea like what they're going to look like in a dress, what kind of dress is going to look good. 

So that's what we're here for because that's really our thing, you know? And you have to have an eye for it and you have to have a curvy eye for it, you know? And I think that that's why a lot of bridal shops just don't get it. You know, this shop is owned by a plus sized bride and like, we just get it, you know? And we just, it's, it's just really about reading her signals. And you know, when she finds that dress a lot of times, you know, they just know it. 

Lauren: How has COVID affected business in general, if you don't mind me asking?

Michelle: In terms of COVID we really did change the way that we do business because a lot of our brides, we found, they couldn't have their big day but they still wanted to get married. So a lot of them are doing the actual wedding on their original date but then holding off the big ceremony until later. 

And so we've found that a lot of brides need a dress in a hurry. And so we actually, instead of just doing special order, where the dresses are brand new, as I mentioned earlier you can actually buy any of our dresses off the rack, which is great. I mean, I had somebody in recently that was in on a Sunday and they were getting married on Saturday, you know? And we just kind of expressed them right through alterations and got it done, you know? 

So just by offering all of our dresses off the rack and, I have to say our vendors were amazing through COVID. You know, they just É they worked with us on getting people's dresses. I mean, unfortunately, people couldnÕt really be getting married when we were shut down anyway. So, you know, even if we held off on getting the dresses until we reopened, it really wasn't a big problem. 

But we have learned how to just make sure that we do have enough time to get dresses in, and we're not scrambling at the last minute. And, you know, by offering dresses off the rack people that are close, they can definitely take advantage of that. 

I think just, you know, having that business background, a business degree, and I know how to manage everything here from a business standpoint, luckily, you know, we are fine thank goodness. But no matter what, I would always make sure brides got their dresses. No matter what happens in this world, we definitely have all kinds of contingencies in place where you know, no matter what, these doors would never close, unless I'm retiring. And that's not anytime soon! 

Rest assured that you know, no matter what the current state of the world is that, you know, they're always going to be safe getting their dresses with us. And I think that all of our brides through COVID can really attest to that. I mean, we really just É weÕll do anything to help these girls because we understand that it's tough, you know? It's a tough time for everybody!

Lauren: So in these really difficult times of COVID, the pandemic, for anyone who's either uncomfortable leaving their house or someone who's immunocompromised, people who need to stay as safe as possible, is there a way for them to find a gown? Are there options for them?

Michelle: So definitely. First of all, when we were closed for COVID I got very creative, and I did virtual appointments and I actually would narrow down five dresses for a bride. I'd put them on mannequins, I'd find out her measurements, and I actually did mobile appointments and they worked great. I would load up like five dresses for each bride as long as she was within about a half hour of the shop, bring them to her, and I actually stayed in my car on a ZOOM call for both of our safety while she tried on the dresses. And I gotta tell you, they had a ball with it! 

So it's not something I advertise now, but if it really was somebody that was in that situation, I would definitely do that. It's a $99 fee, but we credit the $99 to your dress if you purchase the dress. So that's one option. 

Another option is we offer VIP appointments. It's $100. But again, $50 of that gets credited to the dress. Plus you get a gift, and we actually shut down the boutique especially for you for two hours and you can bring up to five guests. And we have like a whole consultation beforehand. You can read the details about it on our website, but that's really a nice option as well. 

Thirdly, even if you come during the week, we only do one bridal appointment at a time. There might be alterations or pickup appointments or accessories going on. So we can't guarantee that nobody else will be in here but if there are, we generally don't allow more than 10 people at a time in our shop because we're very, you know, conscious about COVID as well. Also after each dress is tried on, we actually steam the dresses. We are very, very clean here. I mean, we are constantly wiping down, Lysoling, so you know, these are options. 

I mean, technically, if you are within the U.S. and you want to order a gown from us and we carry the line, and you want to call in with your measurements and purchase the dress, you could. Just know that all sales are final. And you we don't really recommend doing that. I mean, if you've tried it on somewhere else, you know, I mean, we can definitely do the contract with you over email. We've done it once or twice before. 

But again, if you can come into the shop or I can bring you the dress that would be ideal.
Please come and see what your dress shopping experience should be like. Come and see how we're different than all the other stores and why we are the ones that are going to not make you feel like a customer, but more of like a family member.

We're sizes 16 to 34 here. So a lot of times we get brides that are like sizes 10/12. And they don't think that they can come here, but they definitely can. These dresses run so small, two to three sizes smaller than your street clothes, so don't worry about it, we can always clip you in. If you're a street size 12 you're most likely at least 16. I'm a street size 12 and my wedding dresses, depending on designer, are 18/20. So you can't even like look at these crazy numbers. It's just, we can fit most people in our dresses. 

Our gowns start at about $1,000, they go up to about $3,000. I would say most of them are between $1,500 and $2,000 generally. We do have a lot of different events and shows. So if people join our Facebook page, or Instagram or they like our, you know, our social media, they can stay on top of those events, which is great to save money. 

We even do have some clearance dresses on our website. They're $500 and they're discontinued, but they're beautiful samples that could definitely go to a good home. So, you know, just É we have something for everybody. It's not just a small segment, I would say we can really cater to the masses here in terms of size and price points. So come check us out. 

And we are located in Manalapan, New Jersey. WeÕre in the Towne Pointe Shopping Center. And we're open every single day except Mondays. And we have night hours on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. So come find us at curvy brides.com!