CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION
TITLE: Trust Your Inner Voice
DURATION: 42:45

Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê

Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection; a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê

As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way.

Lauren: Welcome back to Choosing Your Reflection. Today we are fortunate to have Dr. Lindsey Elmore with us. In addition to her experience in internal medicine and pharmacy, she is also a business owner and entrepreneur who specializes in natural wellness. Lindsey helps women take full ownership of every single aspect of their health and wellness by making science understandable. She also hosts a podcast that helps to inspire women to pursue dreams, overcome obstacles, and leave their mark. Thank you so much for joining us, Lindsey.

Lindsey: Thank you so much for the kind introduction. I'm excited to talk with you today.

Lauren: To start I think, based on what I've read about you and a little bit that I know, your goal is to help women take full ownership of their health and wellness as I just said. How can women ensure that they do that very thing when they're looking for a wedding outfit?

Lindsey: Oh, when they're looking for a wedding outfit? My gosh, what a turn in that question right there at the very, very end! Okay. So, I will give you a piece of advice that I heard from Carolina Herrera who designs these absolutely gorgeous and glorious wedding gowns. And she said, ÒLook, if you really want to take ownership of your mental well-being and your mental fortitude in being fully present with who you are, as it relates specifically to getting your wedding gown, go shopping by yourself.Ó

Go shopping by yourself, because I think we see it so glamorized on TV about like your mom and your bridesmaid, and then your grandma, and then like your distant aunt. And then there's like eight people in the audience. And you sometimes see brides come out where they are so excited, and they're beaming! And then people give them critical feedback, which they would never in their wildest dream give on the actual wedding day. And so I think that piece of advice that Carolina gives harkens back to one of my core philosophies about health and wellness, which is trust your inner voice. 

In order to trust our inner voice, when it comes to getting a wedding dress, when it comes to facing a brutal health diagnosis, when it comes to choosing what we put on our plate every day, or how we choose to exercise, all of those things, it is critically important to ask ourselves, ÒDo I in my heart of hearts think that this is doing me good? Is it supporting me and fostering my innermost being? Or is this potentially harmful and something that I need to cut out?Ó 

So thank you for a question that threw me on my toes. And one I that I think really gets down to the basic core of trusting your intuition.

Lauren: I think trusting your intuition is so important and I think that goes out the window a lot of the time when it comes to weddings, specifically for women. But a lot of the time they are thrust upon all of this responsibility to not only look beautiful, be beautiful, act beautiful, be all of these different elements for a big day that's only one day. And it's so stressful for so many people because you're in the limelight and you have all this responsibility and if you mess up everyone sees. So that's why I sort of think it's very fascinating that your response was to go by yourself because it's so true that if you come back to your center, you come back to yourself. That's probably going to help you from all the chaos that's surrounding you.

Lindsey: Absolutely. And I want to go back to something you just said which is ÒIf you mess up everyone sees it.Ó And it's like what even is the definition of messing up? Because goodness knows when it comes to like weddings and all of that I have had what a lot of people would characterize as huge mess ups. You know, I got engaged and then broke that off. Right after I saw the invitations printed. I was like ÒNo, no, those are definitely not going in the mail! It is not happening!Ó 

And then É so I had a second engagement. That one also ended. And that one I think was more difficult for me to take in because I knew in my heart of hearts it was not the right match. But it's very difficult when someone who you care about and who you love is telling you ÒI love you more than I've ever loved anyone, I want to spend time with you, I want to spend my life with you, I want to build a life together, I want a this, I want a that.Ó And you forget. And you É and you silence that inner voice. You forget the fact that you know that this is not going to be what's going to work long term. It's great for now. 

Earlier this year, I went to go see one of my shamans and I said something to him about relationships. And I said, ÒYou know, this is going on, and that's going on. And like, I'm not sure that I'll be around this person forever, but it is what it is.Ó And he looked at me and he said ÒWhat even is forever?Ó 

And I think that when it comes to wedding days and mates, there's so much that goes into the way that you were raised, how you were told what the definition of womanhood is. I mean, everybody right now is on this, like Bridgerton kick. And the entire show is about how this girl, I mean she's probably 17, maybe 18 years old in this show. The whole show's premise is how she is a failure at being a good debutante if she doesn't marry in her first season. It's absurd! It's really, really absurd! 

And one of the most touching moments in the show is when the second daughter, Eliza, who is much more a writer and wants to go out on her own and really admires women who make their own money, one of the most touching moments in the show is when her mother is over her shoulder and says, ÒIf you're not ready to do this whole like coming out thing, we don't have to do that.Ó And I remember after my second engagement got called off, the Christmas afterwards I was getting very emotional. And my dad and I were out in his workshop and he looks at me and he says, ÒYou know, you don't have to get married, right?Ó

I think that might have been the first time in my life I had been told that because being a girl from suburban Alabama raised in a conservative church, like every single person I knew grew up, got married, had kids. You know, that was it. You graduate high school, you go to college, I was fortunate in my family that that was the path that was laid in front of me. But to deviate from that takes some bravery and it takes some courage. And I think that all of my decisions in my life would have been made better by continually listening to that inner voice. 

And now that I've kind of gone through wedding planning version A as well as wedding planning version B, which É I was doubly stupid the second go round, because not only did I recognize and realize that was not going to be the perfect fit for a relationship, it was a É an international marriage. And so there's more loopholes to jump through so I got kind of got ahead of myself. And so we had this very public ceremony where it very much appeared that we were legally married and because of my social media following tons of people thought I was legally married. So it was very open and out there for people to see. 

And so since I've gone through version A and version B, the thing I've come to realize, and I think the thing that most of us have really been forced to realize in the past year, is that love in the space and the time you are in from the people that are there with you and the love that people who can't be there that are sending you, that's really all that matters. And so all this stress about like, ÒThe cake is six tiers instead of seven!Ó you know or like ÒSo and so doesn't want to sit next to so and so!Ó None of it matters. 

If we can really focus on, do you in your heart of hearts love yourself enough to know that you're making the best choice that you possibly can? Because I'm not sure that there are good choices and bad choices. It's just the choices that you're willing to work towards and really get in there and just say, like, ÒOkay, we're gonna make all of this work throughout, and I'm going to show up and be my best person.Ó That I think is what really matters.

Lauren: I think that is some of the best advice we've ever had on this podcast. 

Lindsey: Thank you!

Lauren: So I just truly appreciate it. And I want to kind of circle back a little bit to your experiences in a little more detail. But before I do that, my next question is, for someone who might be experiencing what you experienced, which is they finally did take a step back, they're taking their step back and they're saying, ÒMaybe this isn't the right choice for me Òor like É could you tell a little bit about what was a turning point for you obviously, but how did you allow yourself to step back? What steps did you take, beyond grounding yourself and sitting back with yourself and thinking, was there anything else that could help someone who might have the same doubts or might be pushing down those same internal thoughts?

Lindsey: Well, I think first and foremost if you're having those thoughts already, just act on them. Just act on them in some way shape or form. If that action is speaking to the other person and just saying like ÒLook, I know we've kind of decided that this wedding thing is right for us. I am having doubts because of this, this, this, this, and this. What do you think?Ó That's a huge gauge of someone else. If they come back to you and they're like, ÒOh, girl! I, you know, I have had this doubt and this doubt and this doubt and this doubt, but here's what I want to do to like us make this plan together.Ó And I don't mean some artificial plan. 

I remember my great aunt told me when I was maybe 13, 14 years old ÒIf you're dating someone and you ever feel like that they back you into a corner and your only way to get out of that corner is to come out swinging, it's the wrong relationship.Ó Just É don't even! So if you know you can't have that ÒHey, honey, I'm having these doubts. Can we talk about this?Ó If you know that that person can't take it, then there are many things that you can do. 

Number one is speak to a therapist and get some ideas for how you might go about broaching the subject with this other person. Another thing is to look at the true reality of life. So many people stay in relationships because of financial reasons and because of stability reasons and all of that. So if it takes you saying like, ÒThis is going to be a many months process for me to decide to move, or to do thatÓ take a look at the real reality of your situation. 

And it is unfortunate that we live in times where not every person has the ability to say ÒI'm in a crappy relationship, I'm going to move on on my own terms.Ó If you're not able to move on on your own terms, it's time for you to either start consulting friends and family, or start consulting nonprofit organizations, women's organizations, shelters that can help transition people out of either abusive environments, or just help people get a leg up that can help them move forward. 

Another thing that I will say is itÕs sometimes taking a bite of a sucks donut, you know, like, it sucks, don't it? But you'll never regret getting out of a bad relationship. Another lesson that was really so important for me that I learned was I remember after I called off my first wedding, I was at church. And remember, the church was a really important cornerstone in my life and there was a certain expectation surrounding marriage. And the women in the church, we were all in the kitchen preparing lunch for one day after church. And one of the deaconÕs wives says ÒWe've got to start planning your bridal shower. Like nobody's really talking about that.Ó And my mom kind of looked at me, and I just took a deep breath. And I said, ÒThere's not going to be any wedding, there's no need for a bridal shower.Ó And the whole kitchen kind of stopped. And then she turned to me and goes, ÒWell, it's better that you figured it out now instead of later.Ó And the whole kitchen just kept cooking. 

It's not like the people in your life have not heard these things before. We all know people that have broken up. We all know people that have had divorces, we know engagements that have been called off. We know when from the first flicker of puppy love ends until the longest most loving 70-year marriages end. We know all of that spectrum of love. You're not saying anything out loud that no one has ever heard. 

And trust me ladies! If you're in a crappy relationship, there is nobody that wants you out of that super crappy relationship than your most opinionated girlfriend. I have been so lucky and so blessed in my life. Because since I've kind of broken up very publicly a lot of times, people consider me you know, like, ÒOh, Lindsay can help me.Ó It's like, ÒDude, just get out of it. Just move on!Ó Just we're you know, we're gonna do this, you're gonna set some boundaries, and you're gonna say, ÒHey, dude, itÕs my house, you got a week to move out. I'm going to go stay with my friends. I'm going to come back three days later, you're going to be gone.Ò All those things. 

So find a support network but please, please recognize if you're having those thoughts, if you're having those ideas, they're not going to go away. The marriage is not going to make it better, the baby is not going to make it better, the puppy is not going to make it better, the new house is not going to make it better. And the whole reality of life, the day after your wedding where the dress is done, and the this is É it's all of a sudden going to hit you and you're gonna be in the same dang spot where you are. 

So I think in life, it's always the choice between this, this current thing, this current opportunity, this current situation I'm in, or there can be something better. And so constantly just focus on how do I make this better? How do I come out of this a more highly evolved, more understanding, more empathetic, more compassionate, more this kind of person, whatever kind of person you want to set your intentions on being. And just remember, you're not a bad person for calling off a bad relationship. 

And don't ignore that inner voice. Because if you do, you're gonna end up hearing it every single day on repeat. And at some point, it's really hard to revive relationships, you know? And I think it becomes even increasingly harder if you go into a marriage knowing that you have doubts, then you're always blaming yourself. You know, you're always saying ÒI knew this wasn't going to work.Ó 

Lauren: Thank you for that answer. I think that's, that's something that someone if not multiple people need to hear. And I think it's something that people don't want to talk about and É or if they do want to talk about it, it's highly stigmatized and I think that's very upsetting. 

And I want to touch on what you mentioned, which is we fear our closest relatives, our closest friends are going to reject our choices of maybe not pursuing something. When in reality if they really are your loved ones, they really are your friends, they actually will. And you sort of fight yourself when in reality they're going to be supporting you. But you're afraid of the stigmatization that comes with that decision, which is not always stigmatized, but it feels like it's stigmatized societally, at least in my opinion. 

Lindsey: I think you hit the nail on the head. If people don't support your decision to end a relationship, that has zero reflection on you. That has no reflection on your innermost needs, your innermost desires. That's a reflection on them trying to create a reality with you at the center of it when it's like ÒYou know what, hon? You can stay in your own business, because trust me, your garden back there in the backyard ain't as cute as you'd like to think it would be.Ó 

You know, I say a lot, we all live in glass houses. We all live in glass houses, and so like stay inside your house and just like live a good life. But if people don't support you when you've made a decision that is in your heart and soul the right decision for you, that says nothing about you. That says everything about them.

Lauren: To get a É slightly little lighter because I know we've sort of delved into the darker side of things, but we talked a little bit about reflecting and choice and making the best decisions for ourselves and this podcast is called Choosing Your Reflection. So I want to know for you personally, what do you think that phrase means, choosing your reflection, in response to life, in response to weddings, or anywhere in between?

Lindsey: You know, when I think about reflections, I think of reflections upon the water, and I think of reflections in the mirror. And I think about how day in and day out we have a choice to see ourselves in one way or another. 

For me I think one of the absolute key tenants of health is the belief that you deserve to be healthy. You deserve healthy relationships. You deserve healthy skin, healthy bowel movements, healthy exercise, you deserve a healthy relationship with food, all the things. 

And so when I look in the mirror, of course, I can stare at like what I perceive to be imperfections of wrinkles, or crow's feet, or cellulite, or whatever it is. Or you can choose to look on the fact that standing there in the mirror is this miraculous being who has the ability to stand, the ability to breathe, the ability to accomplish amazing things, and the ability to love. 

And so when I think about choosing your reflection, I think it's about looking at yourself, seeing yourself honestly, with clarity, but seeing yourself as the best version that you can be and saying ÒHow do I continually become a better and better version of myself?Ó 

And it seems like it goes without saying, but maybe not! It's not about the external that needs to transform. It's not about the jewelry you put on, the clothing. I think the past year has taught us so much about like, ÒThat was cute when we used to think high heels mattered.Ó I mean, like, I look at my closet full of all of like these ancient artifacts of high heels and suits and all these things, but yet I can look in the mirror and see the powerful inward self that is me. 

And you know, one of the things that -- maybe it'll bless somebody here today -- one of the things that's been so heavy on my mind, my grandmother recently passed away and it was a huge turning point in my life, because this Sadhguru who I absolutely love and adore says ÒIf you want to be happy, wake up every morning and go like ÔHot dog, I am breathing today!ÕÓ

 And then he says, ÒLook, if you want to be REALLY happy, do that every morning, and then check in with the ten people who mean the most to you. And if every single one of them is still breathing, you're doing better than most people in this world.Ó Because about one in ten people every single day die in this world. Now, of course we have babies that regenerate. We're not like all rapidly about to go extinct. But if the ten people that mean the most to you in this world and you wake up this morning, then you're living a glorious, glorious, blessed life. 

And with my grandmother passing away, it's really brought into focus the immediacy and the temporary nature of life. Like when I was born I had my great grandparents, my grandparents, and my parents. All of a sudden my mom is the oldest generation older than me, and my cousin and I are sitting there and we're like, ÒOh my God, are we becoming the old people?Ó Like what just happened to where there's not people in my life that are 90 years old, and there's not generations of love to uphold and support me. 

And so I just marvel at this life that we get to live and the fact that we are this ever evolving, yet same person. We've been inside of this body since the very beginning of our lives and I just focus on that miracle. 

And if you can look in the mirror every day and just remember that you are a miracle through the ups, the downs, the twists, the turns, through the good decisions, the bad decisions, through the stress, the frustration, if you can just look around and go like, ÒEven the crap that I have to go through is miraculous and it's here to send me on a path to make me a better person,Ó choose that. Choose to see that person blessed and endowed with so many marvelous gifts.

Lauren: I love everything you just said. And I particularly love that you said you are a miracle, the phrase ÒYou are a miracle.Ó My grandfather, my mother's father, used to wake up most days -- she told me this when I was growing up -- that he would wake up and turn to my grandmother and say ÒThis is going to be the best day of my life.Ó 

Lindsey: I love it! 

Lauren: And that was a thing that would really push him through his day. And he passed that on to my mom and my mom passed on to me. If you wake up and you say to yourself, ÒNo matter what happens today, I'm a miracle and this is going to be the best day of my life.Ó You're gonna set yourself up for such a good day, even if the bad things occur. You know, you get to restart and set and do it again and exactly what you said. As long as people are happy and healthy around you, you can count yourself pretty, pretty blessed and pretty lucky for that day.

Lindsey: Absolutely! Just go into each day with an eye towards the positive and the negative doesn't get to you as much. It really doesn't. So I think every woman deserves that. And I hope that maybe your listeners will take É  take your advice and just wake up every morning and go ÒToday's gonna be the greatest day of my life and I'm going to make it that way.Ó 

And I think the same things go with so many decisions, you know? ÒThis is gonna be the best job I've ever had.Ó It may be the worst as well, but it's also going to be the best. ÒThis is going to be the best marriage I've ever had.Ó It may be the best, but it may also be the worst, but you better put your heart into it! 

So yes, such wonderful advice! I'm going to try that for a couple weeks and see how that goes. I think it can be the best day of my life. I can't wait!

Lauren: I always found that such fascinating advice. And I É It's hard to wake up and do that for yourself. And I think, to talk a little bit more focused on the external, because we've been talking a lot about the internal. How do we use the external to also motivate us? 

And I'm speaking mostly to hopefully getting into a topic of what you would have worn on your wedding day É wedding days if they had occurred. Because as much as the internal is where everything needs to start, the external can really affect you. 

Lindsey: Yeah!

Lauren: And specifically what we've explored in a lot of our episodes is this concept of enclosed cognition. 

Lindsey: So I have a very interesting relationship with the wedding gown that I did wear. I did go shopping by myself. I did pick something that I never, you know from all this stuff É I'm gonna age myself! From what you would tear out of the magazine and you know, like put in your file folder! 

So, before I even get there, let me take one step back. I think it's probably important to say that when I was a small child, a toddler, I played wedding more than any child possible. I wore out two wedding dresses just from playing in them! 

And I would do everything from the wedding ceremony, to like playing out in the dirt, like everything in this wedding gown. I would marry my cousin, my dad would sometimes officiate, I had multiple bouquets, I would kiss the air to signify kissing my partner. So it was always É I mean, like I sat with the Sears catalog. Remember those from back in the 80s? I would sit with the Sears catalog and be like, ÒMy colors are going to be peach and these are going to be my bridesmaids.Ó I remember Steel Magnolias when it came out and her colors were blush and bashful. Like the idea of a wedding was very, very, very built up in my mind. 

I knew my first engagement was not going to work. And I remember when he proposed to me, I saw him down on one knee and the first thought that went through my head was ÒLindsey say no.Ó That was the first thought that went through my head. And I remember I was in the shower after that, and I had the ring on and I was washing my hair. And the ring was too big and it kept sliding off, which had a meaning to me. 

And it also was a meaning of like the person who was intending to marry me didn't go that extra mile to borrow a ring to make sure that it fit like É there was a lot of layers there for me. And I was washing my hair and I just thought ÒIt's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fine. We're gonna work this out. It's gonna be ok.Ó And I knew it wasn't going to be.

But for whatever reason I went shopping, I went and got É I went wedding gown shopping by myself. I ended up bringing my mom back. I put on the one gown and she goes ÒIt's nothing like what you said you wanted.Ó And I was like ÒBut do you love it?Ó and she's like, ÒI love it.Ó

So I bought this gown and I would have returned it but you can't do that with wedding gowns and so I just decided to keep it. And I was like ÒYou know what? If I still love it, at some point when I decide to get married then I will wear it. And if I don't love it or if it has bad juju for me or whatever, then I'll get rid of it.

And the other thing that I loved about it was it was so comfortable! It wasn't a dress that was going to make É cuz y'all cute thinking you don't want to eat and want to wear like seven-inch heels and all things for like a 24-hour period basically on your wedding day! 

And so it was so comfortable. And so I said, ÒYou know what? I'm just gonna wear it! I'm just gonna totally wear it!Ó And I did. And it was beautiful. And after that like pseudo marriage broke up, I saw it sitting there in this preservation box that they tell you you're supposed to do with your wedding dress and all of this. And I was like, ÒOkay, well, I can take it out of the box, I can put it on, I can take photos of it, I can resell it, I can this and that.Ó And then I thought, ÒNo, IÕm not gonna do it.Ó And so I donated it. 

I just thought you know what? There is a woman out there who would never in her wildest imagination be able to envision that she could afford this designer wedding dress that you know, had this custom bustle and all this gorgeous belt activity happening and this and that. And I just said, ÒYou know what? Just give it away. Just give it away.Ó It gives the energy of it away. And it also, it also gives a wish to the universe of like, I just so genuinely hope that there is a woman who's about to get married and she is texting her friends and calling her friends and like, ÒGirl, you're never to believe what I found!Ó

And I hope that happened, I genuinely hope that it happened. And I hope it happened for a wedding for a couple that is madly in love and is doing the hard work to be married and stay married. It was a relinquishing of my past in the hopes that someone else could experience a brighter future.

Lauren: I think that's an absolutely beautiful and loving thing to do. And it helps everyone. There's no like, there's no loser in that scenario. I know so many people who É that's what they do. They're going to look for their gowns in thrift shops and donation centers. They're looking online because they can't afford it. So what a lovely gift that you could provide to the world!
 
Lindsey: Thank you.

Lauren: Of course! And could you talk a little bit about how you help women through your business. And specifically, cases that might relate to maybe women who are struggling with making good decisions for themselves? 

Lindsey: For women who are looking for answers to health and wellness questions, anything from gut issues to metabolic disease, to mental health disorders where É you know, I'm not an expert in schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but anxiety, depression, and some of the more É forgive me if this is impolite, but some of the more run of the mill kind of disorders that I think many and most of us face, just where our everyday emotions become a little bit É they linger too long sometimes. I love to help women come out of those ruts by helping them to honestly recognize that they deserve to be healthy. 

I think that we have this huge lie in America and really in the entire developed Western world. We have a lie that we are supposed to be chronically ill. We have normalized that being fat, having some diabetes, you know, maybe having hypertension, a little bit of depression here, some PCOS, tiny bit of struggles getting pregnant, you know? Having like, three, four days a month where you know premenstrual dysphoric disorder puts us on our back and our bed for three days. We have normalized that is just the way things are. This is the way things are, 

ÒOh, you know, you're going through menopause? Having it be totally dry down there and having mood swings and having these crazy hot flashes. Totally normal for your age.Ó Ladies, none of this crap is normal. It is not normal for you to feel like you have to go through life constantly seeking answers to everything that ills you. 

You truly, I believe in my heart of hearts, can live a life that is relatively free from disease. Because, as with always, it's one of the age-old spiritual questions. Why do bad things happen to good people? People get cancer, people have thyroid disorder, people have mental health disorders. That does not mean that we are helpless. 

So I think that once we get over this idea that we have in modern society where we say, ÒOkay, okay, I know what to do. I'll name my disease, IÕll then blame it for all my problems. OK. I've got depression, that's why I'm sad.Ó Or you go to the doctor, and you just say, ÒYou know what Doc? I'm really struggling at work. I'm not feeling like that, you know, I'm just, I'm getting tired every day, in the afternoon around three o'clock. I'm not excited to go to work in the morning.Ó And they go, ÒI know, I know, you're depressed!Ó And then we say, ÒWell here, have a medication and let's tame that problem.Ó 

So we name it, we blame it, and we tame it. I'm not interested in any of that crap. I'm interested in taking one big giant step back and going like, ÒWhy do you get tired at three o'clock in the afternoon? Why are you not excited to go to work? If you're getting tired at three o'clock in the afternoon is it because you ate all this food that you're sensitive to that's hijacking your brain chemistry around one o'clock in the afternoon? Is it because you're being abused in the workplace?Ó

I want to take one big step back and go not ÒOh, you've got depressionÓ or ÒOh, you've got hot flashesÓ or ÒOh, you got this.Ó I want to take one big step back and go, ÒWhy? Why do you have hypertension? Why do you have diabetes?Ó You know, we have so many great tools to help us identify diseases that at some point will manifest but that just haven't yet, and we don't utilize them. 

And so that was a really roundabout way and I don't even know where I was going to end that! But I do just É I'll come back to it's a lie that you are supposed to be sick. You are a miracle and you should be able to go out there every single day and live this miraculous life even if you have cancer, even if you have infertility, even if it rained on your wedding day and you fell over in the mud. None of it matters! If you maintain that inner compass on everything is always working towards good. How can I be an agent of good and help push that forward?

Lauren: You want to treat the cause, not the symptom. You want to treat where it's coming from, not the symptoms of that. 

And talking about the symptoms, we get caught up in those symptoms. And it's really hard. And we talked a little bit about this in the beginning, it's really hard to get back to that inner compass, back to that inner voice. And to sort of wrap up my questions, how do you keep yourself centered on that inner voice, on that inner compass despite everything going on?

Lindsey: The first thing that came to my mind was like ÒI ignore everybody who disagrees with me!Ó I mean, like, and that's a really like simplistic and very self-centric answer but at some point, you have to realize that everybody else's opinions is exactly that. And you know, what they say about opinions. 

And so, listen, last year was a really tough year to be a natural health and wellness influencer. I mean, I wrote I read an Instagram post about it yesterday, or maybe it was this morning, I can't even recall. I think it was this morning. And I just said look, it was challenging last year to recognize that because I questioned a popular narrative that was pervasive É we all got told the same narrative last year. 

And I was like, ÒHey, guys, you know, there's other ways that we can really take ownership of like, a healthy immune system.Ó And how can we ensure that people who have autoimmune disorders also have that same empowerment to go like, ÒWow, I have these increased risk factors but I'm going to do this, this, this and this, and I'm going to avoid these other thingsÓ so that we all just take, we take back that personal control of I am not helpless in this matter. 

And so sometimes it requires tuning out voices. I of course am not É I'm not encouraging you to tune out from the people who genuinely love you and genuinely want to see you succeed. But a lot of the times you have to tune out the external voices. And in order to listen to your own internal voice, the only way to do it is to be quiet. And being quiet via meditation, be it a silent seated meditation, be it a moving meditation through the practice of Tai Chi, or through yoga, be it a meditation with medical impacts such as such as acupuncture, be it a dancing meditation, you have to quiet it all out. 

I love what John Maxwell says. You know, he says ÒPrayer is talking to God, meditation is listening for the answer.Ó If you're genuinely listening for those answers within you, then you get to take the next step of being bold and brave and acting on them! That's part of it too, is just being quiet and listening because until you actually listen for the answer, it's impossible to take action on it.

Lauren: I think that's a beautiful way to sort of wrap up what we've been talking about. I would love to know if there's anything else you wanted to add that we haven't talked about that I haven't asked. Also, could you tell our listeners how they can learn more from you? How they can find you?

Lindsey: Absolutely. So you can come and find me over at LindseyElmore.com. If you would like to get a free gratitude journal, you can head to LindseyElmore.com slash gratitude. One sentence a day for you just to remind yourself of the miracle that is life and the miracle that you are. 

IÕll say this has been a most enjoyable conversation. I've really, really enjoyed talking to you. And I am always inspired because I think people think that a podcast just like miraculously appears, but they're ridiculously hard and a lot of work to make happen. And if any of your listeners would love to come and listen to my show, you can check it out. It's the Lindsey Elmore show anywhere you listen to podcasts.