CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION TITLE: Ô85 Cover Bride DURATION: 19:21 Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection; a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way. Marcy: My name is Marcy. I was married on June 9th of 1985 and I am retired and in the process of massive home renovation right now, which is never fun. So this is a fun break for me. Lauren: So when you think about your wedding day, where does it start for you in your mind? Marcy: I think of my dad being in shock. My husband Ray had been invited to three weddings in the span of a week, and every invitation came to Ray Sutherland and guest. And I said ÒWell, how long am I going to be Ôand guestÕ?ÕÓ We had already been living together for three years while he was in college. And he said, ÒWell, let's just get married!Ó and I said, ÒOkay, when were you thinking?Ó And he said, ÒHow about June?Ó This was Easter weekend in April. I said, ÒOkay, well, you know, well, I'll call my parents.Ó And I called my parents and I'll never forget, my father answered the phone and I said, ÒWell, we're going to get married.Ó And he said, ÒReally? That's nice. When?Ó And I said, ÒJune.Ó And he said, ÒThis June?Ó and I said ÒYeah.Ó And he said, ÒOh, come on! I just put a new roof on the house!Ó My oldest sister got married in September of 1982, my middle sister got married in October of 1983, the roof was Õ84 and then we got married in Ô85. So my father was a little hurting for cash. But my mother just jumped on that bandwagon and boom, we were off to the races with the wedding! But yeah, I'll never forget my father É ÒThis June? Really?Ó Lauren: So you had to do everything very quickly, obviously. Marcy: Oh, yeah. And I had everything. Absolutely everything. I had the bridal shower, the invitations were ordered from the printer, and I had gotten, of course, the April copy of Brides magazine that year. This was like all in six weeks so there wasnÕt a lot of time in here, especially with you know, bridesmaids and tuxedos and dresses and the groomsmen and all that stuff. So I had the magazine and my mother said, ÒWell, what were you thinking?Ó And I said, ÒWell, I really like this dress, and I like these flowers, and this cake is really pretty.Ó Then I went back to State College because that's where we lived at Penn State. And everything was proceeding. I came home. My mother said ÒWe're going to go to the bridal shopÓ because we weren't going to Kleinfelds or Filenes or you know those big New York City places. WeÕre in western Pennsylvania in the Pittsburgh area and we had a bridal shop in town. And we went over there and I tried on a couple of dresses. And the dress that I was going to go with was É it was a white lace É it was a pretty lace not like crappy lace É it was like a really, like an Irish lace. And it was three quarter length sleeve, it was tea length, it fit beautifully. It just had a round neckline, nothing fancy. And I was all done. That was going to be it. And I left and I went back to State College.Aand my mother called and she said ÒI have a surprise.Ó And I said ÒYou do?Ó Because, you know, tit for tat with all of this! And she said, ÒYes, I got you the gown that you saw in the magazine.Ó Now mind you, this was like the dress on the cover of Brides magazine. I can still see it to this day. And the woman who had the bridal shop ended up making my dress by hand and hand sewing all the little seed pearls on the top. It was off the shoulder and the big gardenias, you'll see the picture. It's very 1985. We got married in Uniontown, not in my hometown. We got married in Ray's hometown at the Holiday Inn on a Sunday because that's what was available. And my aunt, my mother's sister, lived in Uniontown also, which is actually how Ray and I met was through my cousin. So my mom and my aunt and my mother-in-law went to the florist up on É up near what's now Nemacolin Woodlands Resort and they ordered all the flowers. And I don't even know who did the cake but it was exactly that. They showed them the picture she said, ÒOh yeah, I can do this.Ó And it was absolutely perfect. It was everything that I ever would have imagined all from, you know, the height of fashion of course, and right out of the magazine. And I was thrilled! The only thing that made me crazy was it was a week before the wedding and I still hadn't had a fitting yet! But she did it and boom, she put it together. She made me this super cool hat that was kind of like a fascinator. It sat forward on my head with the point and it had illusion poof and she had all these little seed pearls in it. And the dress had a train. Now neither of my sisters had trains on their dresses. And going through the rehearsal what did my dad know, you know? You go to the rehearsal, you hand them off, you go sit, da da da da da. Well, the day of the wedding, my father walks me down the aisle É ÒWho gives this bride blah, blah, blah.Ó And my father said, ÒYour mother and I.Ó And he goes to walk behind me and he hit that train -- neither of my sisters had one -- and he hit that thing and did the funky chicken behind me. And I heard him gasp! And he caught himself and he sat down. But that was just one of the É that was one of the funny things on the wedding day that I you know, that I remember oh so well. Lauren: It's insane and fantastic that you somehow got everything I mean, not somehow, your mom like sort of hand delivered everything that you wanted! Marcy: Oh, it was absolutely nuts you know? I mean, it was, it was incredible. And in six weeks. That was a big question was ÒOh is she pregnant?Ó No! My mother said ÒWhat do you need? It just gives you more time to be picky about things!Ó Lauren: That's very true. That's the positive side of a quick engagement to marriage. You don't have time to worry about everything. Marcy: Yeah, well, you know, it wasn't like we didn't live together already for three years. But you know, it was just one of those things. And I just remember, cuz, okay, it was 1985. So you have to think back to the man's perspective. And tuxedos were horrible in the Ô70s. Wide lapels, ruffle shirts, just horrible! And in the Ô80s they started to look pretty good. They're very similar even to what a tuxedo is now. They were more the classic style. And Ray said ÒWell, let me tell you what I want.Ó And he wanted gray. He didn't want to wear black. He ended up in black though. He did. He wanted gray tuxedos. They didn't have them. They had black tuxedos but they had pink cummerbunds and ties. And he chose that. My husband was a man that was comfortable wearing pink. Lauren: Why not? Marcy: His favorite golf shorts were pink. It was pink cummerbunds and ties. Then the girls had to have something to match the guys as opposed to the other way around. Lauren: Clearly he had a decision that he wanted to make. What about this magazine cover dress drew you to really want it? Marcy: Oh, it was stunning! It was silk taffeta. It was just beautiful the way it flowed, and the pearls! it was off the shoulder and it had the flowers that went around the top of the sleeves. Okay so 1980 so you got to throw a like puffy sleeve on there that went to the elbow. And it was just the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen! It was a fairy tale dress. It was prettier than Lady Diana's. Hers was a bit over the top. But I mean, it was just truly it was just such É I don't know, it spoke to me and it was like the minute I saw it it was like, ÒWhoa!Ó you know, with the É The angels sang when I saw that and I went, ÒOh, that's it!Ó But I was gonna settle for the other one because it was very, very beautiful also. it was just very plain, not plain but simple. Lauren: Mm hmm. Marcy: And this was a REAL wedding gown. Lauren: So when you finally É you know you got the call from your mom that said, ÒHey, I got ÉÓ Marcy: I was blown away! I couldn't believe that I should have such a dress! It was stunning to me! I was 21 when I got married and when I tried the whole thing on for my final -- I only had one fitting and she pretty much had it done -- and I felt like a bride. I, you know, like, it just É I felt like a bride! And then my friendÕs mother had the most stunning jewelry collection because my friend's dad would go to estate jewelry sales and buy baubles for her mother. And her mother gave me the honor of allowing me to wear her pearls for my wedding. And it was three strands of cultured pearls and the clasp was diamonds and rubies and pearls in yellow gold. I'm telling you this thing looked like it was a million dollar piece from Cartier. And I got to wear that. You know, that was my something old and borrowed because I did the whole you know É Lauren: Something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue É Marcy: É borrowed something blue. I had the six pence in my shoe and you know did the whole thing. But it just like put the whole outfit together. When I put those pearls on and I looked in the mirror and I thought ÒI'm just gonna die. I look like a bride!Ó you know, on my wedding day. And then my best thing was when I got down the aisle, and my dad didn't break his neck sliding across my dress, Ray looked at me and he went, ÒYou look very nice!Ó I went ÒReally?Ó IÕm the very nice bride?Ó Not the beautiful bride. Not anything like that. I looked very nice. ÒReally?Ó He was a little nervous. Lauren: So why do you think wedding dresses are so important to that day and why do you think we're so fascinated with having that fairy tale elegance and experience? Like you mentioned Princess Diana. Why do people need that feeling? Marcy: Um É I don't know. Maybe it's Disney movies. You know every girl wants to be Cinderella. You just want to take off those rags and have that beautiful gown and Prince Charming and the carriage and the whole shebang as opposed to, you know, Depression era brides may just have worn a suit and gone to the courthouse. Or when my parents got married, my mom wore a beautiful suit but it was just a dress with the little jacket É had little rhinestone buttons and she had a little nose gay and a little hat. And they got married in the rabbi's office. I mean it was É it was a different time. But I think whenever you get married no matter how it ends up I think it's a momentous occasion that needs to be marked with what you wear. Lauren: I think a lot of people still want to feel that Cinderella moment, that transformational moment which is almost like the performance, not only for yourself this transformation, but also for your family, for your friends. That you walk down this aisle and you present yourself to people. Marcy: Well and it's like you were the caterpillar, and on your wedding day the chrysalis opens and you become the butterfly. You become that center of attention for the one day. You're leaving your family and creating a new family. And back then I was very shy, not outspoken. I was a disaster. How was I going to be in front of these people because I was scared to death! Not to get married, but to be in front of people! And the whole outfit was more of a É it was a new beginning type thing. It was a new chapter in my life. Lauren: In general, a wedding is a scary experience, let alone being the bride at a wedding is you know the next level of scary for a lot of people. Putting on this like, elegant dress, maybe helped you feel elegant and feel confident to walk down the aisle É Marcy: Oh absolutely! Even though it was really scary. I had the dress, I had the shoes, I had the hat, I gotta go! It was a motivator is what it was! Lauren: You had like your battle gear to go down the aisle! Marcy: Kind of. I just remember it was my parentsÕ next door neighbor that married us. We had a civil ceremony. And he had watched me grow up and I had babysat his children. And we were at breakfast and he signed everything. He goes, ÒOkay, well, you're married now.Ó And I went ÒHuh!Ó And he went ÒDon't even think it! You're going through with the ceremony!Ó But yeah, looking back on the whole thing, it was a great weekend. I mean, because you know, the rehearsal dinner, the party after, then the whole wedding itself. Everything was perfect. You know, my parents, my grandparents, my sisters, our friends, RayÕs family. I mean, everybody it was É it was a good day. They set us off on a good path for a lot of É lot of years. I had a like crazy love affair with my husband and we really actually liked being together. So the dress, while it was a gift from my mom to have that dress made, and I don't underplay that at all because like I said, I was going with, you know, lace dress. I don't find É really, when I think back to my wedding, the actual from my wedding day on, it was just our journey as husband and wife. But I don't know I think back to that day and the dress and the cake and the flowers and the É everything and it seemed to É it was just the start of our life together. So when you get married, Lauren, you will be embarking on a new big thing. And you never know what path you will go down. Could be left. You could go left at the fork in the road. You could go right. And nobody's to say which one is the correct path, you get to choose that path. Lauren: We all get to do that with someone which is really nice. Marcy: It really is. Because while you know your parents are great and you love your parents and they would do anything for you and you would do anything for them, there just comes this time where you have to É it's like the mom of bird has to kick the baby out of the nest and say ÒGo fly and see where it will take you.Ó Lauren: And the dress is just sort of the doorway, leading to that.