CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION
TITLE: A Regal Riegel Wedding
DURATION: 22:46

Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê

Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection, a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê

As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way.

Lauren: So welcome Liz! So happy to have you! Liz is here, she's from New Jersey. Could you just introduce yourself for us?

Liz: Hi! IÕm Liz Riegel. I'm formerly from Morrisville, or originally from Morrisville, Pennsylvania. I now live in Lambertville. Been here for a few years. I started my career in the newspaper business. I worked actually as an advertising editor for 21 years. And then [with] the industry changing I decided to switch industries. And now I work in health care and I'm very happy.

Lauren: Wonderful! IÕm so happy to have you! And I would love to know any details that you remember from your wedding and since your last name is Riegel, would you characterize your wedding as regal?

Liz: Well, I can say we tried, or I tried! I tried to project that with the way we looked, the way we behaved, the traditional parts of the ceremony. I thought my dress was very princess-like. I think we presented well, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen with the gray suits with the ascots, I just loved them! It was traditional. It was small, three bridesmaids and my flower girl. 

Lauren: A lot of people when they're young think about what maybe they'll wear for their wedding day. That's usually something that people ponder on when they're kids. If you did, what did you have in mind as a younger child about what you might wear for your wedding? And if you didnÕt, maybe talk about why you didn't?

Liz: That's funny, I had been thinking É that has been going through my thought process about, you know, what I was going to say and how I was going to discuss it. And I really wasn't one of those little girls that thought about their wedding day. I mean, I was boy crazy and all that, but I actually kind of always thought about what my career was going to be and what kind of job I was going to have and how I was going to make it out there. And you probably don't know this reference [but] it was kind of like a Mary Tyler Moore thing! You know I wanted to get out there into the media and do my thing! 

But when the time did come for me to choose a wedding dress or start planning a wedding, I did have these very traditional, they just came to me, like this is how it's supposed to be. Starting with the engagement ring É an emerald cut was what I thought, that's what an engagement ring looks like, you know? Not round, not a pear or nothing trendy, just an emerald cut. That's what I want. So that's what I did get. 

And then when it came to a dress, my vision was, you know what? Princess Bride! And I really don't think I was influenced by fashion but my vision kind of seemed to coalesce with the fashions of the time. I felt like you know, you should look regal, you should look like a princess, you should be É I didn't believe in off the shoulder or showing cleavage or anything like that. 

I had a lovely, you know, high but not too high of a collar, lace, and a fitted waistline. I thought there should be a lot of embroidery because I thought beads didn't say traditional. So I really had that vision in my mind. The puffy sleeves were very 80s but I thought in my mind that's what it was supposed to look like anyway. 

The first time I went to look at dresses I went with my maid of honor, but it was funny! They say to bring the lingerie or whatever you're going to wear underneath it. And I had like a strapless bra and a crinoline skirt, you know, that was kind of full. And so I came out of the dressing room. I'm like, ÒI feel like Madonna!Ó É cuz, you know, dressed like that! 

My bridesmaid was in there with me and the lady brought in the dresses. And as soon as I started to put one on, I blushed. And, I mean, I just felt it, I realized it happening and my friend was like ÒLook, you're blushing! What's happening?Ó 

And I didn't really know what was happening then because, you know, I wasn't somebody who minded attention or was bashful or anything like that. But I've been thinking of it more, you know, in preparation for this interview. And I think it was the realization that this is happening. I'm stepping forward into a phase of my life now that I'm not college girl, I'm not the girlfriend, I'm not the daughter. I'm the bride; I'm going to be a married woman. 

So it all kind of came rushing at me and I don't think I even processed it at the time. But when I think back now, that's what it was. Because it is, it's a big day in your life! It's supposed to be! And you know, you are -- you're going from this person to that person. And I think that's why I blushed. 

But I didn't end up buying a dress there. I didn't find one that I liked. So I went a few more times dress shopping. And again, I was looking at the brides books. And again, I had a look in my mind that I knew was the right look for me and for a bride, and it did seem to be what was in style and so I was sort of very fortunate. 

So went the next time, I think I went with my mom. And that was just more of like a fun, girls shopping thing. Maybe I was a little worried about what my mom would say. I mean, she was very supportive and everything. But I also didn't want her to say, ÒOh, that's too much moneyÓ or, you know, anything. Like I wanted it to be my choice. And I knew my friends would be that way. But you know, a mom's influence. And we have a great relationship, and there's no problem. But looking back, that might have been why I didn't really want her opinion on it because I knew once I got it, sheÕd love it. But the process I wanted to kind of be my own. 

I guess the third time I went, I went with my sister Gwen. And there was this tiny little bridal shop in Fairless Hills, which ultimately I ended up living like a half a mile from there. But it was a mother and her daughters running it. They had made a little bridal showroom in this part É it might have even been like, originally maybe a little Fairless Hills home that they made a business in the front of and lived in the back, I'm not sure. But it was very sweet. It was very É I don't know, I was all in that mood at the time about little mom and pops and that special treatment you get. You know, everybody loves that now. I still love that now.

So I go in and they're very nice, dressed very fancy and the daughters were beautiful and the mother was very, very nice. It was funny even at one point while she was talking to me and I was É she was talking about dresses, her husband came in the back door and he was like a working guy in his t-shirt and everything and she's like ÒGet away, just go!Ó

But anyway, she asked me questions like ÒWhat do you like? What's your image of something?Ó So she was very good at what she did. And I said, ÒWell, I don't really want beads or ruffles. I want lace or embroidery. To me that's the vision I have.Ó So she grabbed a bunch and I started trying them on. And itÕs like everybody says, when I tried the one on, it was the one! I just felt good in it! I felt it reflected me. I felt I looked proper, authentic, but in that dreamy little girl way where like I'm a princess, you know?  

Lauren: You were career focused when you were younger. But you did eventually come to a feeling of needing tradition to find a dress. Where do you think that comes from? Do you think that stems from your family? Do you think that stems from your education background? Do you think É do you think it's just something that you hold true as a person? Like, personality-wise how does being proper and traditional speak to you? 

Liz: Well, I'm sure there's stories of me not being proper and traditional out there! But I think that day, and maybe for first weddings -- if I got married again maybe IÕd break a little bit from tradition or whatever -- I just felt that É maybe I guess it was upbringing as well as kind of knowing myself É knowing what I was comfortable with. I didn't feel, and I probably to this day, didn't feel that some kind of outlandish avant garde or anything like that experience would have felt right to me. 

I think it's sacred, you know? We got married in a church so there's that part of it. There's the respect to the process of what you're doing. You're joining in a union. You know, you're supposed to look like a nice young lady! I guess that goes back to my upbringing! But that was where I was comfortable. I think it must have to do with my parentsÕ influence, knowing your family's gonna be there. But it still felt comfortable to me. I didn't feel like I was just doing it for them. 

Lauren: You've hit on an on a nerve there where tradition is comfort for you, and I think that's a really beautiful thing to think about. And dresses, you know, clearly this dress for you was comfortable. It made you feel beautiful, it made you feel comfortable and confident for that day. And it was for you. You got that dress for you. 

Liz: Yes.

Lauren: Do you feel like the wedding was also for you at that time? Or do you think the wedding was more for your family? 

Liz: I was the youngest and I was the last to get married so I think that a lot of pressure was off of me. Like my older siblings, there was more pressure on them. Some things I did kind of have to push for my way. Like back then, I wanted to get married in a Bucks County stone farmhouse. I mean, I wanted to have my reception in something like that. 

And I have to say that was before people were really doing that. And there were a lot of places around to do that. And I found in some brides book I found that it was called Ivy Manor. Yeah, either Ivyland Country Club or Ivy Manor Country Club. There's this big sprawling facility there now. It's a golf course and a big club and everything. What was originally there was this lovely little 1700s stone building. 

But anyway, so that I did for me and that I pushed for. And I was glad I found it because again, they didn't have a lot of them back then. But then, you know, I can remember a tug of war here and there that I kind of had to just do for my family. But other than that, I wish I would have taken more time for the details. 

Lauren: I feel like a lot of brides feel a lot of fatigue so I wouldn't be surprised if É on top of you know, your life is changing É you'd even mentioned earlier that you were you know, there's this transformation happening. So when you're transforming and you're planning and you're dealing with family and friends and putting it all together, the little details sort of start to slip away.  

Liz: I have to say I was not stressing anything. I was given a lot of stress. Between the ceremony, we're at my ex-husband's family's house, on our way to the reception my little niece who was my flower girl, somebody gave her a Coke. And she's holding the Coke and she trips over something and there it goes all over my train and my dress, and I haven't been to my reception yet! I just laughed and all the women are fussing and they're mopping it up and everything! And I just you know, she and I giggled about it! I figured, well, IÕd gotten through the church part with nothing spilling on it!

There's just some people that canÕt handle things. Like some family stress came in, some bridesmaids stress came in. It was like all this drama! And I'm like, you know I'm supposed to be the drama queen here and itÕs É I'm getting all that! So that to me was the stress that was unnecessary that took its toll on the day. It kind of made me feel bad. And I É and it was all very unnecessary. You know what I mean? It was just ÒDid you see what she was wearing? Did you hear what she said? Your mother was blah, blah, blah É Ò 

So it was like ÒWhat the hell are you people talking about? This is just É  shut up!Ó This is a day to enjoy! I'm happy! It's lovely! LetÕs just have a good time! But it's almost like they don't know how to channel their emotions so they come out negatively. 

Lauren: Yeah, I think external stressors are such a common thing with weddings. And there's already enough internally that's going on. So to have external is just É and you seemed uncommonly chill, especially, you know, so that's a É it's a good thing to be relaxed and calm, even when there are external stressors. We like to kind of think of that as the dark side of weddings, this portion of weddings that no one really likes to think about, but it totally exists! 

Liz: ItÕs a shame, yeah!

Lauren: And sort of speaking about not feeling that drama, going back to your wedding day, even after, you know, you have spilled soda on your dress, how did you feel that day overall?

Liz: I remember getting ready, I remember the ride to the church, I remember the limo driver! Everybody was in the church waiting and he gets back in there with me and he goes, ÒWhat do you want to do? Do you want to go in?Ó He said ÒWe can go, I can get in. We can ride, we can drive away, we can go wherever you want. Do whatever you want to do!Ó IÕm like É I didn't say I want to get over it. I just said ÒI want to get in there and just get this done!Ó It was so funny! It was almost like he was talking me out of it or something!

But, I remember the good time dancing! My veil caught on fire a little bit so that wasn't too regal, either! But, yeah, we had a good time! We were the last ones to leave! We didn't really even arrange for a ride home but it gets to the end of the night. And everybody's leaving so my sister- and brother-in-law drove us home so É

I felt great! You just feel that whole feeling, you know! And my makeup was done; I loved how my makeup was. Overall, it was wonderful. It was a wonderful experience. And I'm glad I did that for myself. I hate to say that but, you know, I'm glad I didn't É I wasn't getting any pressure but I'm glad I didn't worry about anything else but buying what made me feel good, what represented what I wanted to look like as a bride. 

And I think there's probably some parallels as I rolled through into my professional life with how you looked on the job and how you dressed for the job and how you defined yourself by, you know, your suits and everything that you wore -- how that speaks for you. So, it's not just fun, fashion is very important. And especially for women as far as your career is concerned, if I was taken seriously, and all that kind of stuff. Unfortunately, it should just be about your brain!

Lauren: Wardrobe was very important earlier on, but I think even now today, balancing that with your job, with who you're seeing, you know, even in the ZOOM world, you know, you have to wear certain things to look good for your job. Or if you go into work you have to wear a certain wardrobe. Even though we are sort of eeking into a more casual experience now, it's still very important to explaining who you are. 

And it seems like beyond that, in a wider sense of weddings, it seems like there's an increasing amount of weddings and people getting married as opposed to it being not as popular. I feel like it was extremely popular for awhile and then sort of dipped down and now it's becoming popular again. And I É I'm curious why you think maybe it's more popular again and how that sort of gels with the time that we live in? 

Liz: I think social media has shaped the vision of how you do anything in the younger generation. And I'm glad that people are getting married again. It just seems to be a reflection of the technology and advancements and everything that the last 20, 30 years has seen. So I mean, that's É I see it reflected in that. 

And just like anything, everything evolves, you know? Birthday parties, entertaining around the home, decor, you know, even just cooking a nightly meal or something. Everything's evolved into É it's a new incarnation of itself and something better and something more improved. So I think it's just following that.

Lauren: This is slightly off track a teensy bit, but I'll say two things, or I think one of them is three things, but two things, and without taking too much time to think you just pick one of the two. 

Liz: OK.

Lauren: Does that sound OK?

Liz: That sounds like fun! I'm not always the best at quick responses but I'll try!

Lauren: All right! So the first one is trendy or traditional?

Liz: Traditional.

Lauren: White or not white?

Liz: Well first wedding white, second wedding not white.

Lauren: Ball gown or fitted?

Liz: Fitted.

Lauren: Veil or no veil?

Liz: Small veil? Petite veil? Little veil? Not big, not gone completely! Little.

Lauren: Headpiece or no headpiece?

Liz: It may be dated but I still love that 80s headband look! I don't know if I would look dated if I wore it but any kind of headpiece. I love hats and everything!

Lauren: Train as long, short, or in between? 

Liz: A long one is really cool! I thought it was impractical; I didn't want one for me. But long is really cool. Just let that sucker, you know, go!

Lauren: Lace or beads?

Liz: Lace, still!

Lauren: One dress for the whole day or a change from ceremony to reception?

Liz: I have to say a little story here. It was the best second wedding I ever went to and I've been to several, unfortunately or fortunately!  The bride had maybe three changes. I know she had at least two, but it was so smart and it looked so good! She had like on a suit or something for the cocktail hour, and then her wedding dress, and I think she has a little something different for the reception. But hey, go for three! I mean, why not? 

Lauren: Absolutely! So, then heels or no heels?

Liz: I guess heels. I mean, it depends. If you're having one of those like outdoors, beachy type things you don't need heels. But yeah, wear heels! They're fun!

Lauren: Spanx or natural?

Liz: Oh, well É I would think no Spanx because it would be uncomfortable I think all day. 

Lauren: For you or for someone else?

Liz: Oh for you! Definitely for you!

Lauren: And that is all of them! So it's like a fun little way to think and reflect upon what you had chosen initially to what maybe now you feel É

Liz: I can be indecisive and I'll usually get both if I can't decide between one or another, so IÕll  get both! 

Lauren: How closely do you think that matches what you've done before with your dress? How closely do you think that fit?

Liz: I don't think I'm too far off. I mean, again, I'm probably where I wouldn't wear white if I got married again. But I wanted to wear it because that was traditional. You know, I know the tradition it stands for was a little hypocritical, but it's still É it was a church wedding. I felt like I could wear white. So I hadn't been married before. So that was my first time for that!

Lauren: Do you think that most people find their dream outfit?

Liz: Every bride I've ever dealt with loved their dress, you know? I think maybe that is the one place where we can escape the rest of the influences and just know that we can buy our own dress and that's where we make our stand.

Lauren: You found yours, sounds like you found your dream dress.

Liz: It was, yes! It was everything I imagined; I was very happy to wear it. I still am emotionally attached to it.  Just on a fashion level like I got É I found what I wanted! It was a lovely experience! I have to say buying my dress made me very happy from beginning to end. 

And I think this was definitely a nod to the fashion of the times. I loved the headbands! I was one of those 80s brides with the headband and the proof and everything so, but I loved that! And if I got married again, I would wear that dress again! 

Thanks for listening! Check out our website, choosingyourreflection.com where we unravel the mystery of the perfect wedding outfit. Check back next week when another beautiful soul takes on the journey of choosing their reflection. And donÕt forget to like, share, and subscribe!