CHOOSING YOUR REFLECTION TITLE: What You Wear Matters DURATION: 48:53 Getting married is an event that holds a different meaning for everyone. For some, itÕs based on religious traditions, and for others itÕs a validation of an earlier choice they made to live with that special someone they love.Ê Hi, IÕm Lauren, and welcome to Choosing Your Reflection; a series of discussions that reflect upon the reasons we have for choosing our wedding day outfits.Ê Our guests are diverse, but they all share a common journey.Ê As they share their stories, theyÕll help us unravel the mystique that exists around choosing that special outfit, and what they learned about themselves along the way. Lauren: So today I am very excited to welcome our guest, a woman of many talents, Brandi Sea. Brandi is a creative director, design strategist, and also a fellow podcaster. In addition to her design talents, Brandi helps fellow creatives discover uncommon inspiration and produce more meaningful work. And she will of course, share her wedding outfit story with us. So welcome, Brandi! Brandi Sea: Hi, thanks for having me! Lauren: So glad to have you! And I guess to maybe start off our discussion could you tell me a little bit about your wedding outfit? Brandi Sea: Sure. So full disclosure, I have been married twice and have had a vow renewal. So I technically have like three dresses. My first wedding I was nineteen and this was in 2001. So I've always sort of been the weird girl, like the one that wanted to do something different, that wanted to stand out. I wanted to be seen as super creative. And I couldn't choose a favorite color to have my bridesmaids wear. And I've always said that my favorite color is rainbow and so I was like, ÒYou know what? I think I want all the colors.Ó So I had to choose six bridesmaids so I could have six colors. And the wedding was a medieval wedding. So my dress was like, it was a cream colored, corseted top. It was made of crushed velvet. I got it at Hot Topic around Halloween season, because it was a medieval brides costume. But it was what I wanted. It felt like me. It felt perfect. Rented outfits for the rest of the bridal party and got crowns and things like that. I wore a É gosh I donÕt even know what theyÕre called! What is it technically called? Those like, from like Robin Hood, those cone É like the cone things? Lauren: Oh yeah, I think itÕs called a hennin. Brandi Sea: Thank you É and it was also a floor length veil and it had like a slit down the middle on the front so you could just like pull it apart in the front. Had a huge long train my aunt made for me that matched with the crushed velvet. That was that was my first wedding and looking back, I mean, I would probably do that again. It was me. It felt like me, it felt right. It was all anyone could talk about until the next person in my class got married because it was so interesting and unique! When I got divorced and I remarried, my current husband and I were very broke. I mean we just didn't have É we didn't have the money to do a big wedding. I was actually pregnant. Not that it was like a secret. Everybody knew. It wasn't like we needed to hide it and do it or whatever. But I didn't want to have a child and then get married. I wanted to do it before. So we decided to do like a courthouse wedding, which ended up being kind of fun because it was like less pressure, a little more casual. So the nature of being a designer and a creative is that there is a concept behind everything. So the concept behind this one was like more of like a 50s courthouse wedding. So I did a short like above the knee where it's like tight on top and like fluffs out towards the bottom. Lauren: Um hmm. Brandi Sea: I was I think four months pregnant when we got married, but it Òhid it-ishÓ even though I wasn't like É I wasn't trying to focus on it but I also wasn't necessarily trying to hide it. So it was comfortable. It was like a cream color. We talked earlier before we started recording that like white wasn't good on you. And I think I look fine in white but I just gravitate towards this cream color moreso for both the weddings, which much to my mom's dismay on the first wedding she was like ÒIt has to be whiteÓ and I didn't É ÒMom, this is what they have at Hot Topic so this is what IÕm buying!Ó The second dress I bought on Modcloth, which for those of you who don't know in the audience it's like a sort of a modern vintage. They do lots of newer dresses in vintage styles. It even had like a really cutesy name. They have really cute names for all their dresses. It had pockets, which was really like É a dress with pockets is all my dreams! So more like salmon-colored heels and a little salmon-colored belt ribbon thing to add some like color. And I had like a little side hat with like a half tiny little like netted veil thing. Lauren: Like a pillbox hat? Brandi Sea: Exactly, thank you. And so that was the wedding to my husband now and that was in 2012, and so I thought that was a lot of fun. [The] two reasons we did a vow renewal were one we didn't have the opportunity to have a lot of people come to that because it was so short notice and we just didn't have the funds to É I have a huge family. I'm Hispanic and so it was like either invite almost nobody or invite everybody. There is no in between. So it was like ÒOkay, what can we do?Ó My previous marriage had problems around the seven-year mark and it all kind of went down from there till year ten when we got divorced. And my husband and I now when we first got married decided at year seven we're going to renew our vows because we want to set a precedent that we see that this is a troublesome time for a lot of people right? Seven-year itch and all that. And we want to cut it off at the pass and make sure that we are being very intentional. And at that point we will have hopefully set aside some money so that we could do a really big party. So a lot of people do it opposite right? You do a big wedding and then you do a really small vow renewal. Well we did it the other way around because it's actually very ÒmeÓ to do what people don't expect. So fall of 2019 we did a huge party and I ordered a dress online. But it was kind of a nightmare because I ordered it online. It was cheap and it looked really cool. It had like a lot of beadwork and a bunch of really interesting like fantastical sort of stuff. I wore an elvish circlet. I'm huge into fantasy and Lord of the Rings. So the dress had like an ombre pattern; it went from sort of like a taupe down to like a cream color at the bottom. And had a really long train and it was a lot of tulle and beads down the back in like a waterfall type of deal. So that was a lot of altering because when it came in it was humongous and it did not fit right. And [I] probably spent more on the alterations than the actual dress but, when all was said and done! But yeah it was fun and I think that part of the whole wedding thing for me, the dress is important because it does reflect your personality. I would never be caught dead in a strapless like princess ballgown because that's just not who I am. But there are people who that's them and that's what they want. And I think that that's kind of the beauty, but also the pressure of like the dress is like people are totally going to be like ÒOh, I didn't think you'd wear thatÓ or ÒWhy did you choose this?Ó Lauren: I don't think we've ever heard such a variety in one episode, and I love it! And I think it's so wonderful be able to not only show that in what you do every day, but to be able to express that in those times is so important. Do you think that those times of your life because I mean, nineteen to, you know, your 30s, until now, you're a different person at all of those different stages of life. How do you think those outfits reflected you at that specific time beyond your creativity side? Brandi Sea: Yeah, I think something that I have come to terms with over the years, especially since the divorce É you know, divorce causes you to kind of have a lot of introspection time É was sort of the reasons I like to stand out. It's part of my personality to be noticed. I don't know what you guys know about the enneagram but I'm an enneagram 3 wing 4, which means I É I like to be noticed and applauded. But also as an enneagram wing 4 I like to be creative and stand out and be different. And I never really knew or understood why that was until about four years ago when I started really learning about what the enneagram was, and like, my personality. And I think at the time, when I was nineteen I didn't know the motivations behind it. I just liked to stand out. I still do. I like to be the weird one. I'd wear like princess Renaissance dresses from Hot Topic with tiaras and combat boots because I wanted to. I wore blue wigs for fun. And that's still very much a part of my personality now, I just kind of express it a little bit differently. And so I think the difference between then and now is a self-awareness. So I still kind of operate very similarly to how I did then. But before it was more like a fight against like, ÒOh, well, those people shop at the Gap, theyÕre so boring. I'm so different.Ó And now it's like É this is just like who I am. It's not because I'm trying to push against the ÓboringÓ people, or like this absolute need to stand out just to be standing out. It's like, I know that I find fulfillment in offering a new point of view. So on my platform and the course that I teach, and all of this stuff I'm known for being like a contradiction, because a lot of people in the creative fields will say, like, well ÒThink outside the box. Color outside the lines.Ó And while I do agree that you should try and have more innovative ideas, actually studies have shown that you have more innovative ideas and more creativity when you are put inside a boundary because you only have so much to work with. If someone says ÒYou need to make a mural and all I'm giving you is crayonsÓ or ÒYou have to make a mural and you can spend as much as you want and use whatever you want and hire whoever you wantÓ you're going to be more creative inside of those boundaries. And so I think that, to answer your question, like, how that changed was just my how I see myself, because I still am that person. I still wear funky stuff and mix patterns and colors. And I don't É I don't often wear wigs anymore, I'll be honest, but I would if I could find them! Lauren: I love your answer because I think that that's so true that you do grow and even though you don't necessarily completely and utterly change that you É that you change the way that you see how you present yourself and the way that you want to be perceived. It goes from a place of ÒI just want thisÒ to an understanding of why you want it. And I think also wearing fashion or wearing any sort of clothing that has sort of a statement to it of any kind makes you feel good. Do you think that you've perhaps tapped into that in a more advanced way as an adult in the sense of É in comparison to being nineteen. And obviously you're an adult when you're nineteen too but a little different! Brandi Sea: Yeah! I do think that I have in a lot of ways understanding, like you said, that perspective on why. But I think knowing that needing to push against things as an adult has actually made me better at my profession. You sort of think that a lot of creative circles would be very like, lots of really vibrant conversations and people contradicting each other and problem solving. And unfortunately in a lot of those spaces -- because I've been designing for 20 years now -- a lot of the times it is É someone says an idea just like in any field and there's a lot of people going ÒOh yeah, yeah. Yeah exactly! That thing!Ó And I'm always over here going like ÒI can't be the only person that's thinking that what they just said isn't quite right! I can't be.Ó But over time IÕve realized that there's just a lot of people that don't have the boldness to counteract what things people are saying. To contradict those things in whatever space Ð creatively, socially, whatever. And I think that what set me up to be able and to be bold enough and competent enough to be able to speak now into those conversations and say ÒActually I don't think that it's productive to sit and wait for inspiration. Why can't you get off your butt and go outside and go find inspiration? Like go actually do something instead of just sitting here on Pinterest and hoping you find something interesting that you can copy.Ó And there's just so many people that are like ÒHere's the five top places on Pinterest to find inspiration!Ó I'm like ÒScrew Pinterest!Ó Pardon my language. I don't know É I know it's not really bad but sometimes people don't like it. Like go on a trip. Go take a drive. Look at things that you actually like. Look at fashion. Look at car design. And I think when I was in high school and around the time that I got married the first time, I was just in a position where I made a habit of doing something unexpected. And that I think mentally prepared me for the place I am now that I'm not afraid to be that person that stands out, even if it's not physically actually blue hair. I was very proud of the fact that I was able to hang with the skater kids, the goth kids. Like I had outfits for whatever! And also that's part of the whole three personalities; I can merge and mesh well into most any circle! But that was preparing me for where I am now. So my mindset is similar but more evolved I guess because I know now that that trait that I had -- which is something that I try to recognize in my kids -- is like these traits that they have that that push against maybe what I'm used to or something that annoys me, you know? Apparently, according to my mom, from the time I was three years old she had to fight me on what I wanted to wear because I wanted to wear mismatched socks. And my dad said ÒIt's not a big deal, let her be creative.Ó And she said ÒWe're going to church, she has to match.Ó And that has been a through line through my whole life, is pushing against for whatever reason. And so now as an adult -- I'll be 40 this year -- it's really interesting to kind of look back and see how that has changed through my fashion, through how that affects my personality, and how I put that out into the world. Lauren: Do you think that clothing and just fashion or even creativity in the way we present ourselves physically, do you think that for you personally that you've experienced that clothing changes who you are and helps you step into a role moreso for not just one day, but maybe for the rest of your life? Brandi Sea: Yeah, well, like I said before, unbeknownst to me, I didn't know that this was what was happening. But like I said, about, you know, I had my outfits where I looked like a girl from Clueless. And absolutely, you feel like a different person. If I were to go put on my leather jacket and my Doc Martens from 1997 and like, a couple shirts that I still have from high school, I'm absolutely going to feel that thing again, right? If I'm, you know, if I'm recording the podcast, I always make sure that for my episodes I wear things that sort of push my brand. And mostly that's just stuff I have in my closet, but lots of polka dots, bright colors, stripes, contradicting patterns, things like that. If I'm going to speak at a conference, it depends on who I'm presenting to. If I'm presenting to a group of students, I will wear something different. If I'm presenting to a bunch of creative entrepreneurs, I will wear something different. Now they all É they all like are parts of me. And it's not like I'm dressing like someone else, I'm still me. But depending on what you wear, you do feel either more confident, less confident, more energized. I could easily put on any mix of outfits from my closet and go into different places and look like a different kind of person. I was going into modeling right out of high school, and decided I liked the creative side of making the magazine better than being on the other side of the camera. But I've always had a huge link to fashion. I've written blog posts and spoken a lot about the link between graphic design and fashion design. And so basically what I do when we travel is I like to look like I live there. So I don't ever want to look like a tourist. And usually when we take our family vacations, we stay two weeks in a place. And because I know fashion and I pride myself on knowing the different fashion houses and where people are at in trends and things like that, I can curate my wardrobe for the trip to look like a New Yorker. And there's a total difference. And then when I'm there I feel like a New Yorker. So to answer your question, yeah, your clothes can absolutely change how you view yourself, how you see yourself. When I'm in San Francisco versus San Diego versus LA, like, those are all completely different aesthetics. And I take clothing appropriate to those places because those are the places I don't want to stand out. That's not the kind of standout É I don't want people to go, ÒOh, there's another tourist!Ó except for the fact that I'm always, always, always taking pictures! Tons of pictures because that's how I capture my inspiration. But I want to just immerse myself in whatever culture I'm in so that I can experience what life is like. So I absolutely think that your clothes can make all the difference. I have not worn sweat pants a single day that I work. If it is a work day, I don't know what this nonsense is about like wearing a suit jacket, and then like sweatpants or pajama shorts down here. And I think I get that from my mom. My mom always made sure we were up and ready and unless it was Saturday morning cartoon time, like you are putting clothes on. Like you're not, you're not going to go out into the world that way. And it, it sort of sets your mind set up for something different. If you wear sweat pants all day, it doesn't matter how much makeup you have on or if you're wearing like the snazziest blazer and turtleneck up top, you're going to kind of feel a little bit like a failure and like you're just giving up just a little bit, like I just I'm just kind of on my way to giving up a little bit. And so again with the pushing against, I've been a part of some, some creative groups to over zoom over this pandemic. Or it's like, ÒYeah, I haven't put on real pants in like six months!Ó I'm like, ÒWhy? I'm so sorry, you must feel very sad!Ó Because I get dressed every day. I may not put on makeup because makeup is kind of like here or there for me. But it's what you're wearing. Like it's what you put on that really makes a difference. And so my kids know if it's a school day, if we're not staying home watching cartoons or having É like if I haven't explicitly said, you can wear what my son calls cozy pants, you can't wear cozy pants. Go put on real pants. Because, like, also, you're prepared for anything. What if like, this is the weird, different version of like, ÒWhat if you get in a horrible accident and you don't have clean underwear on?Ó It's sort of like that cliche, but why would you not want to feel your best? I don't feel my best in sweat pants unless I've just been working out. And then I have endorphins because I've been working out! Lauren: I a hundred percent agree. I will say that I have worn sweat pants during this pandemic year so I feel a little guilty now! But I a hundred percent agree! I a hundred percent agree that that is so vital to being able to function at full capacity, to be able to present yourself in exactly the way that you want to do it. And there is something almost like the clothing takes on its own persona. Clothing has its own É its own life per se and I've talked about it in a couple of other podcast episodes where you know that clothing piece has history. It has you know, the seamstress sewed into it and then put their meaning into it and then passed it on to you, and so you're presenting it in a different way. So even though you're wearing it and you're using it for your benefit, that clothing, that garment has a life. It has a history. Do you believe that a garment can be fully understood or comprehended by the person wearing it, or by the people who are seeing it from the intent of the creator or the designer? And that doesn't have to be necessarily garments, but designs. A designer creates something and puts it out in the world. And I wonder what your opinions on design intent and reception are? Brandi Sea: Ooh É that's a, that's a really loaded question. There's like a lot of angles on that. So I think that when you're a fashion designer, there is a bit more control that you have to let go of once that garment is going to be worn by someone because the nature of a piece of wearable art, which is what I was talking to my daughter about one day É she's actually very interested in fashion design. She's thirteen and she's been designing things since she was like, eight. But she was talking about, like, the whole couture thing. And ÒWho's gonna wear that?Ó and ÒWhy do they make such weird stuff?Ó And I'm like, ÒOkay, so that's meant to be wearable art, like, there are very few of those that leave the runway ever. Like that's, that's supposed to be like a designer showing, this is the epitome of what I can do. Here's what I can do.Ó As opposed to you know, they also make things that go on the rack that you actually where that you can mix and match and things. So having that conversation with her kind of reminds me of this because it's when I É say I'm a fashion designer and I make a dress, and I have a certain intent behind it. Like I can see this dress, right? As designers, we're all supposed to have a strategy, a picture of the person that we're designing for, whether it's for a brand, or a magazine cover, or a book cover, or a shirt, or dress. And I think it's probably much harder for a fashion designer to have that and then see your thing on someone that doesn't embody that, and maybe layer it differently, or cut off the sleeves or add some of their own flair to it somehow. I think that must be really hard. But I also think that they are probably aware of the fact that this thing is meant to only take what you put into it to a certain extent. So for fashion, I think the intent is a little bit easier to let go of, because it's not É it's not actually directly communicating the way maybe a piece of graphic design does. Whereas with a É you know, graphic design is all about sending a message. Communicating a thing, and making sure that that thing is understood whether that is a message you're trying to send, a request you're trying to make, a sale you're trying to do. If there's confusion, the graphic design is a failure. And that's not a thing for fashion. So I think that if your intent is being misunderstood as a piece of graphic design, you failed at your job because it's literally our job to communicate. And if our design work isn't communicating, it's not working. Whereas with fashion, it can communicate any number of things. It may not necessarily communicate the one or two things that the fashion designer thought it did. It may do that and more, it may do neither of those things depending on who's wearing that item. So I think that intent is a really interesting thing to think about. With graphic design it's a much more strategic intent; we know the problem we're trying to solve. The intent is how can I solve this problem visually? And what colors am I using that are going to put out the aesthetic, but also the color psychology level of understanding for the person on the other side? And what typefaces am I using that are going to communicate the right message? If I use an illustration versus a photograph, what message am I trying to send? And so what I operate from a point of strategy and design is very different from a lot of designers, because a lot of designers operate from a place of ÒI just want it to look good.Ó But it's not enough. If it just looks good, then it may as well just be a piece of art or a piece of fashion, because you're not communicating. If you're not communicating, you're not designing well. Lauren: So you know, designers and graphic designers, fashion designers, all types, as you just said they have this intent, but sometimes there's not a meaning behind it. And if it's just pretty, or if it's just beautiful, there's nothing. It's sort of empty. I think that can really translate to people who are getting married, or who are picking out these outfits that are so big. If you just pick out a pretty outfit, if you just pick out a pretty dress, you know, your mom or your dad or whoever, your friendÕs with you, and you try on a ton of pretty dresses. And they're like, ÒOh, you look beautiful, you look beautiful!Ó but they don't have meaning they don't have that that extra on, or that like x factor or whatever you want to call it. Do you think because that sort of translates even further past the designers of these gowns or these outfits to the person who's then picking them to where they instill meaning into them? Do you think that sort of makes people getting married or people picking out clothes ÒartistsÓ in their own right? What do you think about that? Brandi Sea: Hmm, that's interesting question. So first of all, I want to say that like, the reason that I think it's so hard for people to pick out wedding dresses is because maybe they're É they don't know what their story is that they're trying to tell. So part of fashion design, part of marketing and graphic design, and all of these branding type things are about story, right? Like as humans we É we are conditioned to want story. And so when you see a really beautiful wedding on Pinterest, or Instagram, or something, if you step back for five seconds and think about why you like it, it's because someone has created a story with their outfits, with the decorations. A great photographer tells the story of your wedding, right? They're not just pictures. So, to answer your question, like, are they artists in their own right? I think that they can be. I think moreso than that they're storytellers because I think that in order to be an artist, I think the term artist is kind of like loose. I think everyone's creative, but I don't think everyone's an artist. And I don't think that É I personally don't think that everyone picking out a wedding dress becomes an artist. I think that they É they are telling their story, I think that they become a storyteller, they walk down the aisle, and people can immediately go, ÒOh, I understand them a little bit more because of the dress they're wearing.Ó And to tie back a little bit to me at nineteen, me at 31 or 32 or whatever for my wedding, and then for my vow renewal, every one of those outfits, every one of those combinations of wedding things told a little bit of a story about what kind of, not only bride I am, but what kind of person I am. If I see someone walk down the aisle and like a skin tight mermaid wedding gown, with like, super low cut in the back and like very low cut in the front, that says something to me about them as a person, as opposed to the person that maybe wants like a high neck with like lace and lace all the way down to their wrists. And you know there's just É there's a story that people tell. And so when you asked about, like the history that's built into things and the story that comes with the person that made it, the person that designed it, like all of this stuff. I think in the era that we live in now, because there's really so few new things like anymore, especially design, fashion wise. All of it anymore, anything new is just mixing and matching at this point. It's like, ÒI'm going to take from over here and add it to this.Ó I think the last clear like delineation of a style probably ended in the early 2000s, where you could like go, that's the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. Like 20s, 30s, 40s, that kind of ended when that decade ended. And now we're just mixing and matching things. So how we mix and match those things now becomes our story. So I feel like my personal style is a mix of like 20s, 30s with 90s probably because it's just inherently part of my, like my upbringing. And so I think that it's a lot of pressure, because I think inherently without maybe knowing, we all kind of understand that the wedding dress outfit says something about us. And so then it becomes a lot of pressure because we are sort of telling our story a little bit. There could be people that we haven't seen for, maybe since we were kids, if it's family. Maybe since high school if we're grownups. And to have that idea that like one dress can possibly encompass everything of who you are is kind of a lot. So I think it's better to just kind of like, ÒWhat does this say about me right now? Like, it's not the whole É it shouldn't be the whole of your personality. It's okay if in 20 years it looks dated. It doesn't matter. Like isn't that the point? To look back nostalgically at these crazy things that we wore for whatever, and just be happy that you were happy with it that day, and that it told the story about who you were at that time. Lauren: I like that idea that fashion can be momentary as well, because a lot of the time so many people say I want to be timeless; I want to have this timelessness. And you can achieve that. Absolutely, if that's what you want. But I also É I don't think many people talk about that it's okay to have a momentary experience; that this is meant just for now. And if it doesn't work 10 years from now, who cares? Let's enjoy it right now. I think a lot of people got married in the 80s. You know, the big puffy sleeves, a lot of people look back and they're like, ÒOh, God!Ó you know? But it's okay, that you like it's okay to have had that. So I really like that! Brandi Sea: Yeah. And I think that too, it's, it's also a lot of pressure if you aren't generally trying to keep up with trends. But then on your wedding day, like you want to be on trend. And it's like, if that's not who you are as a person, then why do you care now? Like, just do you! And that is a huge part of like, my creative platform, too, is like, stop trying to be THAT designer. Stop trying to be THAT person. What is YOUR x-factor? What makes you special? And especially on your wedding day, like, this is your time to like go all out you! Who cares about everybody else? Lauren: Since you have three dresses to choose from, from an outside perspective, if you were watching yourself instead of being you during those three moments that you were wearing those outfits, could you come up with one word to describe either all three or three words to describe each one. Brandi Sea: I think for all three I would probably say unique. For the first one, the Renaissance one, if I was an outsider who knew me I would probably say accurate! But I think that for people that didn't know me, it might have been strange. Um, my second one and my third one were, É I don't know, cute? I don't know! I think those are probably like unique would probably be the biggest one. Like, most people came up to me after any number of those occasions and said, like, ÒWow, this is a really unique dressÓ or ÒWhere did you find this? I've never seen anything like this?Ó ÒI don't know, I just did me! Shopped where I normally ÉÓ Lauren: What would your dresses say to you? Brandi Sea: Oh you tripped me up! This is É I've never, literally never thought about my clothing talking back to me. Good choice? I don't know! ThatÕs all IÕve got! Good choice! The vow renewal one would say, ÒDo more research because this didn't fit well! Exercise caution when buying online!Ó Lauren: The reason I like to ask that question, we ask that question sometimes is that you get you sometimes just get some straight you like you never think of that kind of stuff. So sometimes it bubbles up some ideas. So that's why I like to ask it! If you were building a business model, like you were tasked with building a business model for designing wedding outfits of any kind, how would it be different than a business model that already exists? Let's say someone said, you know, I want you to create a design model for how people purchase and select outfits based on maybe a personality or based on, you know, whatever you're interested in. How do you think you would change the way that that happens now currently> Brandi Sea: That's a really interesting concept because I've also been like a maid of honor and a bridesmaid in a number of weddings over the years. And I always end up in this position of telling my friend or relative bride, like, what do you like? Why do you want this? What is it thatÕs driving you? So I think É I think that a lot of what's missing in this particular area of fashion, the idea of understanding, like having a bit more self-awareness. Not just saying, ÒWhat kind of styles do you like?Ó Like, ÒWhat kind of dress have you seen that you like? Do you like long or short? Do you like lace or velvet?Ó Like, that's sort of like low down on the totem pole. If I were to start a business like this, my strategy would be helping them understand, like, what their own, like sort of like their personal brand is. What are you drawn to? What are your interests? What eras do you like? Don't even talk about the actual dress for a while. Understanding who this person is, is way more important. You spend more time getting to know the person, then you can maybe bring out from the back two or three dresses that are going to be really close to what they want as opposed to trying on everything. So I think the model that goes you walk in and we sit down and have coffee or tea and we have some questions that we go through that would be similar to finding a personal brand. And understanding what do you love about yourself? What parts of your body do you love? Do you really love your neck? Then you should probably have something that's gonna show that off. But that would come later after you understand what they are like as a person. And that would also eliminate the frustration on the side of the person that's trying to get you to find the right dress, because then they're not searching through gallons and gallons of dresses just trying to find the one that works. And this is similar to what I do in design. I do a lot of strategy. I do all the work up front. And when I present a design I never, ever anymore present more than one or two things, because by the time I show them what I have created, it's what they want. And I'm saying ÒThis is what you need, this is what will work, this is what you want.Ó And they go ÒYes, you are right, it is!Ó because I've already gone through all the stuff so they don't have to question ÒOh can I see like three more versions? Can you like put this over here, and move this over here, and change the color of this thing?Ó Because that's ridiculous! That's not their job, that's my É it's my job as the person who is the professional to help them understand that I know what they need to solve their problem. And the same would go for like a dress. You walk in, you don't really kind of know what you want. But because I'm the professional I should know what questions to ask to help you understand who you are and how to present that best on the Òbiggest day of your life.Ó Lauren: So when are you starting your bridal outfit consulting business? Brandi Sea: When are you going to move me out to New York so we can do it together? Lauren: How about next week? No, I think that's that is so true to anyone who's ever gone to a traditional bridal shop or even to a suit shop. I went suit shopping with my fiancŽ. I mean it's so overwhelming and you don't you think you know what you want but you don't and you need a professional. Almost always you need a professional unless you're unless you're like a designer by trade and you know fashion and you know exactly like ÒI want this dress and I'm going to have it custom made and we're done.Ó Unless you are that person most people go in and they go ÒHuh?Ó Brandi Sea: It's also like decision fatigue too. I don't do well at buffets. I just want É I don't do well at Subway. I tell my husband this all the time. Every time we leave Subway I leave with a subpar sandwich because I don't know what to put! I just like say ÒCan you put this thing here and add this stuff?Ó I like Jersey Mike's because they have all the stuff put together and I can take out the onions and be happy with my sandwich. I don't É I don't know how to put together a good fancy sandwich but they do, so I'm gonna let them do it. I don't want to make my own. If I wanted to make my own sandwich I could do it at home! Lauren: Exactly! Same thing at like a bar! You know if there's a cocktail, I don't know which one I want! This is what I like, make me something! And it's always better than what's on the menu! So you know leaning into the professionals to really allow you to be your fullest self is so lovely, I mean unless you just have millions of dollars that you can hire a professional consultant to style you. The everyday the everyman the everywoman doesn't have access to that and it'd be so lovely if there was a model for that! Brandi Sea: Someday! What you wear matters. How you present yourself, especially like, if there's any professional creatives or designers or anything like that in your audience, we actually have an extra level of pressure on us in what we wear to put forth a level of creativity and have that sort of aura of ÒI know how to put things together.Ó Even though I've been doing this for a long time and even though I have friends that do this, I know that if I were to see a designer who just looks like they threw on a t-shirt and jeans, and some old tennis shoes and walked out the door, my perception of their design skills would definitely be lower than someone that maybe had less skill but dressed the part. So I think that really trying to step into understanding that fashion does matter. Especially women that want to push against in the other way and say like, you know, ÒIt doesn't matter what I wear; it's my accomplishments, it's my personality, it's whatever.Ó But trying to own that it's okay that fashion matters. It's how you approach it. It's, you know, it's why I loved that show, What Not to Wear. Do you guys remember that show? Lauren: Yes! Brandi Sea: All these people that were like ÒI just wear what I want, and bla bla bla, and it doesn't matter.Ó And I'm, you know, I can be beautiful without it, which, of course, like everyone has inner beauty. And that's É nobody is questioning that. But to see how they changed at the end, when some professional gave them the tools to still be them, to still have their same personality, to still not change anything about who they are as a person. But how they carried themselves and how others perceive them and how much more successful they felt, even though literally nothing else in their life had changed except for what they wore. That is like a game changer. And I think that I'm very intrigued by where all of these questions are going with all of your interviewees. And I think that embracing fashion as a human race is one of those things that sets us apart from the animals, right? Lauren: It is! It gives us a Òvisual voiceÓ almost. And as you said, design matters, fashion matters, even in the toughest of times. Personal Branding is so vital to whether you are a designer, or you're a lawyer, or you sit at home and make phone calls for customer service. Personal branding makes sense for every single line of work or career that you could ever imagine. And finding your brand helps you find yourself. And I really think that that that talking to you today has highlighted all of that so well. Brandi Sea: Personal brand and what we wear is the reason I don't wear leggings and t-shirts and tennis shoes out because I don't want to look like a soccer mom that just drinks lattes all day because I do not! I actually am a soccer mom, but I don't look like a soccer mom. And that's really important to me! Lauren: I don't wear sneakers because I don't want to look like I walk into I don't know what that says about me. But like I hate sneakers. People are like, ÒWhy are you wearing like, six-inch heels while picking out a Christmas tree?Ó I don't know because I'm silly and that's who I am. So I totally understand that! Lauren: Um, so I know, we've been sort of joking about having a bridal consulting business but I know that you're currently offering a course and strategies and strategic planning for designers. Could you tell me a little bit about that, and just enlighten us a little bit on that process? Brandi Sea: Absolutely. So, I've been working strategically the entire time I've been a designer. And it didn't occur to me that this was something unusual until about maybe like 10 years ago. And it starts with this idea of using a word map to start as the basis. So most designers operate from a point of ÒOkay, I'm gonna wait to be inspired. I have a client that they asked for a thing, I'm going to sit here and wait for some inspiration. And as soon as I get some inspiration, whether that's by divine intervention, or looking on Pinterest, or Dribbble or wherever, then I will sit down and I will get on the computer, I'm gonna make something.Ó And what I push against, speaking of all this pushing against that I do, is that you should not be touching the computer until you have a concept and you actually know what the heck you're supposed to be creating. Because you're going to waste a lot of time. If youÕre sitting there waiting for inspiration, you're going to waste time. So this process that I teach is called The Strategic Process. And the essentials course that I just launched in February is a twelve module course that takes you through every step of this strategic approach to design starting with this word map. [It] helps you develop a concept, find your colors, find the visuals that you're going to use, whether that's photography, illustration, graphics, whatever those kinds of things are. [It] walks you through how to research, how to find inspiration, and how to best go about planning your design. I don't teach how to design. I don't teach how to use software. That is not what this is. There's plenty of free education out there. You can look at YouTube all day long, and learn how to technically design. What I offer is a way to know how to problem solve what you will design before you get there. And so that's what this course is all about. I'm super jazzed about it! It took me all of the pandemic to create. It's been sitting in my brain for ages. And I realized that there's just a lot of designers out there feeling stuck staring at the blank page, wishing they had an idea, and hating themselves, and having all this self-doubt when they can't create something when there's ways that I know have worked to win design awards for people that I've worked with. For students that have done this process, and designs that I have won awards with using this process. So it is a proven method, it is something that works, and it is so easy once you get the hang of it to like sit down and go I'm going to make something cool and actually do it instead of just sit here waiting, wishing you could create something cool. Lauren: It sounds fantastic and accessible and useful for so many different people on so many different levels. For our listeners, where can they find you and all of your content? Brandi Sea: Yeah, so my name is Brandi Sea Heft-Kniffen. It's a long name. We noted I've been married before. So I kept my married name of my first marriage for the sake of my daughter. And so Sea is my middle name. S-E-A that's actually my middle name. So you can find me everywhere at Brandi Sea, B-R-A-N-D-I, S as in Sam E-A. Every platform that you can imagine. There's only me. There's only one Brandi Sea in the world as far as I know. So if you search Brandi Sea you'll find me. BrandiSea.com. If you're interested in the course it's BrandiSea.com/courses or courses.brandisea.com. Either way works. Lauren: Well, everyone, please check out Brandi See. She was such an amazing guest today to talk to and I think I have a few people I can refer to your course because I think they would really appreciate it as designers. So thank you again! Brand Sea: I love working with new people!