91_Kristen Lynch
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Kristen: You know, when you read my bio, you said, I help feminine beings awaken to their divine nature so they can experience deep soul alignment and live a life that turns them on, on every level.

And so what I came to recognize was that the ways that I rejected my normal human experiencing and emoting was actually my own denial of my, my own divinity as well. I only saw my own divinity when I was perfect. And I couldn't see it in the moments where I didn't, you know, I didn't feel totally my power.

Right. Didn't know exactly what to say, where I was afraid to express myself, like where I was just where I just had like a total human moment. I couldn't, I couldn't see how I was connected to source. And so I, I even saw this come up in my spiritual journey where like, to, to be able to. It's almost like I had to earn my connection to source.

Like I wasn't. And, but if I, if I healed enough, if I broke through enough, if I studied enough spiritually, then I could finally access source. 

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Monica: Welcome to the revelation project podcast. I'm Monica Rogers, and this podcast is intended to disrupt the trance of unworthiness and to guide women, to remember and reveal the truth of who we are. We say that life is a revelation project and what gets revealed gets healed. 

Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of the Revelation podcast today. I'm with Kristen Lynch. I met Kristen through her own podcast. The Goddess Talk Podcast. Kristen is a soul mentor and intuitive business and conscious leadership guide and the founder of the goddess brand co and goddess talk podcast. She helps feminine beings awaken to their divine nature so that they can experience deep soul alignment and live a life that turns them on, on every level.

Her secondary mission is to assist new earth visionaries, healers, creatives, teachers, and Lightworkers in activating their gifts, power, and mission so that they can build sacred businesses that contribute to collective healing and Ascension welcome, Kristen. 

Kristen: Thank you so much, Monica. It is so good to be here on your show. And it's so good to be connecting with you again, after our first connection on my podcast, a couple of weeks back, I know 

Monica: That was really fun. And I have to say like, I selfishly wanted to continue the conversation. So I was like, come on my podcast. 

Kristen: Oh, me too. Totally. 

Monica: And I love it. I love your work. I love your energy. You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself. And I wondered if you actually would start by just giving us a little bit more background, because while I love reading, like the bio, there's always that piece, you know, that personal piece that tells me more and tells our listeners more about kind of who you are and where you come from from.

Kristen: Well, I totally agree. And that's why I love your work so much. I love the whole concepts behind the Revelation Project and everything that it's about. And so getting to this place where this is my work, and this is my bio was interestingly from living a life for a long time, where I was really disconnected from self.

I was really disconnected from soul and experiencing the pain of that, the frustration of that, the lack of fulfillment of that. And it really took going through several experiences that were really messy. That felt like my life, that felt like life. As I knew, it was crumbling around me. That led to what I like to call.

I heard this term recently the same lifetime reincarnation. Um, so they, these, you know, kind of low points, this, these distressful points became the catalyst that I needed to awaken to a life of greater truth. And greater alive ness.

Monica: I love that. That same life reincarnation, because right. Immediately, right? Like we talk about death and rebirth, or I often think of rising, like the Phoenix from the ashes. Right. But there is a way that reincarnation in the same lifetime where almost like this there's of course there's an element of yourself that you're bringing forward in your evolution, but that you're almost unrecognizable to who you were before you had this reincarnation expereince.

Kristen: Absolutely, absolutely. I'm unrecognizable. And so is my life. It's like the life I was living before feels like a completely different lifetime. It feels like it's a different reality and dimension all of it. So I'll, I'll share a little bit of what these experiences were. The first was an eating disorder that happened in my late teens.

And this of course led me to, I was pulled out of dance. I was pulled out of school. Like I would lost friends. I, my body completely changed. Like life completely came up from under me. And the second was a health crisis that happened during college, where I was diagnosed with auto-immunity is a really scary diagnosis.

It was a really isolating experience being so young and being given what felt like, you know, a death sentence again to life. As I knew it, everything was going to have to change from the way that I foods that I was eating things that I was doing, how I was treating my body, everything needed to change.

And the third being more recently at the beginning of. The business that I've started. Uh, and after graduating from college, having a really intense struggle with finances and with money and really big struggle with actually being able to receive from my work. And so it's, it's interesting because all of these experiences of course had their own had many of their own revelations, but I recently had one big revelation that was actually related to all three of these experiences.

And what was revealed to me was that I had created a rule or a condition I had given charge to this idea that in order for me to receive, I had to be perfect. I couldn't be human. I had to, I couldn't be in my mess in other words. Um, and so whenever I was in a mess, I didn't allow myself to receive anything.

So, you know, it showed up in the eating disorder. If I don't fix myself, if I don't lose weight, if I don't control my appearance, I don't get to receive my own love and I don't get to receive anyone else's love. And then it showed up again, when I struggled with my health and I was given that scary diagnosis.

And then it was, if I don't eat perfectly, if I don't eat perfect paleo or perfect vegan or whatever diet I was doing at the time to manage my symptoms, if I don't reduce my stress, if I don't take all my supplements, I'll never experience health. I'll never receive it vitality or health. And then it showed up again in my business around.

Being able to receive from my work. So if I don't do an hour long daily practice, if I don't meditate every single day, if I'm not constantly healing, if I don't get good engagement on my posts, if I don't nail every single point on a webinar I'm leading, I don't get to make money. I don't get to grow my business.

I don't get to expand my impact. And so the liberation that came after this revelation was realizing that actually all of me gets to be worthy of receiving and that in the same way, I can create a condition that I had to be perfect to receive. I can dissolve that condition and create a condition that every single aspect of self is worthy of beauty is worthy of pleasure is worthy of abundance is worthy of health vitality and love.

Monica: Oh yeah. Oh my God. Well, And I'm over here. Like I was so get it because this was, I love the language you're using. I loved how you really are helping us really see how we can set up these conditions. Right. You said I had created a rule, a condition and it's so unconscious because you said right, again, 

Kristen: Totally.

Monica: It was only after seeing the pattern over and over and over again in these different ways that you were like, wait a minute, there's gotta be some set up. I have some system here that actually is working. Is is counter productive to what I actually want. Right. 

Kristen: Well, totally. And it's so interesting because what I was do actions I was taking and the beliefs that I had on the surface were actually things that I was taught were positive. Like eating really helpfully to heal, to heal my body or managing my calories to lose weight or with my business. It's like putting together this perfect webinar, creating these perfect posts, uh, to get good engagement on, like, those were all things that I was actually taught would get me what I wanted.

But underneath that was this unconscious pattern. 

Monica: Yeah. And what I, what I want to kind of surface here too, is that we don't, let me just say it's I'm makeup that it's not that you had a certain. Number like of likes as a goal or responses or sales, let's say, but that what I'm making up is that no matter what you would do, it was just never enough. Never good enough 

Kristen: For sure. Totally, totally. And it was the same in every and again, in every single one of these situations, it was, there was always a lower weight to get to. There was always, you know, health health is another arbitrary thing. Like health can always improve and improve and improve.

Another symptom can go away. Another symptom can go away. And same thing, just like you said with business, there's always another like ticket. There's always another attendee you could have on your webinar, another client to sign more money, to make whatever. So it totally was this unending. Perpetual cycle of fixing, improving, doing, working, altering the self to be worthy of receiving.

Monica: Yeah. And then underneath the perfection is the need to control because you feel so, like, at least it's something that you can control. And then under that is like this withholding from yourself and under that is self-loathing. Yeah. There's all of these layers, it's like perfection shows up and it still sounds really pretty.

It still sounds really right, right. It can still sound really kind of, deceivingly nice. Like, oh, I'm a perfection addict versus, oh, I'm a self-loathing addict. 

Kristen: Yeah. That's my weakness there. Everything is just so perfect. Yeah. 

Monica: Yeah. Yeah. And so it's really powerful, I think because so many of us have symptoms of perfection and I didn't realize that some of the symptoms of a perfectionist were things like procrastinating until the last minute or there's all of these symptoms. Can you think of a few Kristen that you want to share? 

Kristen: Yeah, let me think. Let me try to think from my own experience too. Well, definitely. Withholding self-expression withholding truth, like not speaking our truth and sort of like constructing this image of self is, is a big one. And I think that's another one that's kind of sneaky.

Cause we're kind of taught like, oh, you know, build yourself up, you know, share the best parts of yourself. It's okay to, especially if we're like in business or we're, you know, on a podcast interview, like read your professional bio, you know, brag about your wins, whatever. And there's nothing wrong with that, but we kind of construct this image of how we want to be perceived.

And it seems like it could be a good thing, but really it's withholding what's actually there it's withholding the truth that actually wants to come through. That was a big one for me. 

Monica: And I'm thinking too, of not speaking up or not. For example, a lot of people may have really wanted to be involved in the race conversation, but we're so afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Kristen: Right. 

Monica: So it can show up like that. It can show up as being afraid to share something super vulnerable because of the way you think people are going to perceive you. Yeah, totally. So there's all these, yeah. There's all these symptoms. 

Kristen: I think one more to that, that just came through actually, as you were saying, that is this not trust this, not trusting the self and like outsourcing trust to others. So we see this a lot in business, following all the strategies, following the formulas. And we saw that in the race conversation as well, just like saying what other people were saying to fit in, to be safe, as opposed to actually expressing like our stance, like our experience. The truth that was alive within us.

We just, we outsourced to other people to show us what we, what we should do, what we should say, how we should express and 

Monica: Maybe even our questions. Right. Because we don't want to look stupid. We don't want to look like we don't know. 

Kristen: Right. 

Monica: So when, even when it comes to asking questions and feeling, oh my gosh, I might hurt somebody's feelings because that's a big one for women is like, not asserting what we really want to say, because we're so afraid of hurting someone.

So, yeah. So there's that, which is of course another reason I just love the conversation and the invitation of the mass.

Kristen: Totally. Yeah, totally. And I'll say too, I mean, I think your question initially was like to say more about my work and how this all became my work. And so I'll say that. You know, when you read my bio, you said, I help feminine beings awaken to their divine nature so they can experience deep soul alignment and live a life that turns them on, on every level.

And so what I came to recognize was that the ways that I rejected my normal human experiencing and emoting was actually my own denial of my, my own divinity as well. I only saw my own divinity when I was perfect. And I couldn't see it in the moments where I didn't, you know, I didn't feel totally my power.

Right. Didn't know exactly what to say, where I was afraid to express myself, like where I was just where I just had like a total human moment. I couldn't, I couldn't see how I was connected to source. And so I, I even saw this come up in my spiritual journey where like, to, to be able to. It's almost like I had to earn my connection to source.

Like I wasn't. And, but if I, if I healed enough, if I broke through enough, if I studied enough spiritually, then I could finally access source. 

Monica: Um, you're pointing to something that I think is so powerful because I think a lot of us do that in our relationship to source or God or goddess or whatever you want to call it, but that there's some kind of earning that has to take place in order for us to somehow feel worthy enough to make that kind of connection.

Kristen: Yeah. And, and, and, you know, I think with so much of this conversation around, you know, like even just really basic raising your vibration, the power of positivity, like these, these concepts that are really alive in the personal development space and the spiritual space, they create this. Relationship to solve where we are only an acceptance of half of the self.

And we are constantly holding together this like false we're constantly grasping for this high vibration and, and anything. That's not, that gets rejected. And I actually think that it actually makes us, it closes the connection to source to the divine because we're using so much of our life force energy, trying to construct this perfect set of, of energetics is perfect set of beliefs, these, you know, ideal emotions.

Uh, so I just think that's another, that was another big piece for me to look at as well was how I was relating to my, my emotions, my beliefs, and, and which ones I believed again, turned off that connection to source. 

Monica: I love this because I have this kind of theory about self abuse. And my theory is that. It's not that we, cause I think again, like we're always, there's some part of us that's always connected, but that we don't actually. Resonate with the truth when we are in that place of self-abuse self-sabotage, you know, we're, it's like, we're the one closing the connection, not, not our source. And then my other theory is kind of when we get to that place of self-love like, just like you said, where we can actually see the divine in the messiest grittiest human moments. And we say to ourselves, stay, and we love ourselves through it. That's when I think true miracles start to happen. 

Kristen: Totally. And that is what brought me the healing that I needed throughout my life. That's why. And then that's that's, that's what shifted everything. That's what shifted my business. That's what shifted my health and it's, and what's so interesting is like, I didn't have to work anymore.

I didn't have to effort so hard to create health. I didn't have to effort so hard to create self love. I didn't have to effort so hard to expand my work and grow my business. Like it, there was so much less resistance of what was, and so these things just started working seemingly miraculously, but it's because there was, there was space for them to be all that they needed to be. And there was so much less resistance. 

Monica: And you had used a really, I thought specific thing that you said, you said you weren't in a position of being able to receive money. Right. Happiness, whatever that was now, why do you position it that way? 

Kristen: So I think. I position. I think about it in terms of, of energetics, because of course it's all subtle, it's all happening in the subtle realms. It's all in the unseen. And so I definitely think about, you know, how we are, how we're positioning ourselves. Are we open to receiving are open to get things? Are we, or are we positioning ourselves as not worthy of good things? Are we positioning ourselves as just not, not the type of person who lives a life that makes them feel alive, who lives a life that's wildly fulfilling?

Like, how are you positioning yourself energetically? Because that is ultimately what we'll see reflected back to us in our physical experience. So I was positioning myself as the person who. Was was closed off from living a vibrant life who had to work hard to earn it, who wanted it, but didn't have it.

And who like in order to receive another, another pattern was that in order to receive there always had to be doing before. Like I had to do first receiving wasn't natural, whereas maybe other people, other people, for sure. And this is how I position myself now is that I'm just always open to receiving whether I'm doing, whether I'm sleeping, whether I'm, you know, sitting at my computer and actually doing work.

It doesn't matter. I'm always open to receive whether I'm perfect with my health or I'm, you know, really relaxed and I'm just eating something just because it feels pleasurable for me to eat it, whatever I'm always worthy of experiencing health. So it's like, how are you? What are you, what are you saying about yourself and how are you open or close energetically to these things that you want? Whether it's money, love happiness, health. Whatever 

Monica: Right. Or even help from another. Cause I think that shows up as having a lot of conditions around it too, that somehow we're going to look too needy or whatever. If we let somebody just love on us care for us, spoil us to death. Like th we kind of unconsciously put limits, like, okay, that's enough.

Kristen: Yes. 

Monica: And also a feeling, well, then I'm going to be in a position where I'm going to owe them back and it's like, no, that's, that's not the rule. Yeah. And so to actually create these new conditions that, that serve, that kind of create this openness that you're talking about to receive with no limits. I mean, can you imagine? 

Kristen: Yeah.

Monica: Even just saying that feels so good.

Kristen: Gosh, I know there's so much here, Monica. And another thing that, that this makes me think about is the idea of sacrifice and, you know, trade-offs the idea of settling or compromise. We placed a lot of conditions around that. Okay. So if I want to experience, if I want to have purpose, I'll be the struggling artist.

I'll never receive the money or the stability or the. You know, success that I desire. If I want to experience like a healthy love, that's not toxic. Well, then it's not going to be exhilarating. It's not going to be fun. It's not going to be hot. It's just going to be boring. Or, you know, if I want to experience health, I won't be successful because in order to be successful, I have to completely betray myself and destroy my health and work however many hours a week.

Like we create a lot of limits. We, we, we turn off our ability to have this multi-dimensional experience of success and we create these conditions of either or that we get to it. 

Monica: That's so true. And it negates what I call the sacred. And so, ah, yes. Right. So for example, I can be an incredible artist and make a lot of money and all the ans it's you could add an, add an add on to that until you kind of have this vision that feels so. Nourishing for yourself, for yourself, for your soul. And I think we, we tend to put our own ceiling in place without realizing it. And as women we're often talking about busting through that ceiling, like may our ceiling become our daughter's floor and on and on, 

Kristen: Uh, yes.

Monica: In order to really do that, we have to kind of practice imagining how good can it get?

Kristen: Right. It's like moving from the paradigm or the space of just enough. It's moving from the space of safety of survival. Uh, you know, this isn't great, but it's better than this person or whatever. We tell ourselves and moving into the space where we're like, no, I came here to be all of who I am. I I'm deserving of having a life.

That's like pinch me. I can't believe this is real. And I claim that for myself. And, you know, I think back to the, the, and going on and on and on, and you know, another piece to that is like the expression piece. Like, okay, well, if I'm going to be professional, I can't be sexy. Or if I'm going to be, I can't be funny if I want to be professional or whatever.

Like we do that too with how we get to express ourselves. And it's like, no, Actually the more of who we are, the more of who we are. And the more we allow ourselves to be all of who we are, like the more that's that actually gets to open up for us 

Monica: Right its expansive actually. And it's where these multifaceted beings. And so I always say like mass magic magnificence, like it all gets to belong here. And, and I don't have to negate one aspect of myself in order to celebrate another, these paradoxical pieces of ourselves. I'm like pizza, pizzas, I'm hungry. 

Kristen: Um, me too, lunchtime, 

Monica: These paradigms excellent pieces of ourselves can stand together, which is just, you know, I think we, we know in the moment. Right. And we, we can remember that, but then we forget again. So I love having these conversations because even in having this conversation with you. It's true. Like there's these aspects to ourselves where, and there's realms of our living, that we can tend to put conditions, unconscious conditions on how we show up in the world and what we're able to yeah.

How we're able to be and how good things can get. So imagine living a life without those conditions. And that's what we, when we point to self approval, radical self approval and full permission, that's when life starts to get juicy, that's where it starts to get really miraculous. 

Kristen: Yeah. And you know, I wanna, I want to bring something up because I think you can't have a conversation about upper limits, which is really what we're talking about here, without talking about some of the things that are in place that are really anchoring us in to our current.

You know, limits that are preventing us from, like you said, going to the next ceiling and like, you know, expanding and I think a few really big things that I definitely saw within myself. And then I see what. All of my clients is one looking at guilt, shame, wrongness, sin that we feel around what it means to have more, we feel guilty for having more than someone else.

We feel ashamed for wanting more. And there's another part of this that we actually have been taught that there's something noble about our selflessness. And I always think about like the spiritual broke person, right. If that's like wearing it like a badge of honor, like yeah. You know, I'm, I'm so enlightened.

I don't need anything. I don't need money. Like I I'm cool when it's like, well, how much more could you, how much further could your gifts expand? If you didn't have to worry about how you were paying rent every month, if you weren't in a constant state of survival, how much more of a contribution could you be to the planet?

Like, are you really enlightened because you've chosen. The timeline of I'm the spiritual broke person. That was a big identity to shift for myself. 

Monica: Well, and then holy cow, I mean, this actually makes me think of like the vow of poverty, right? There's a lot of ways that we're socialized actually to think that. Okay. So I love where this is headed because of course it's headed into my favorite territory, which is we've been taught not to go to actually these places that are our power centers, such as receiving desire. These are all ways we've been taught. That's bad. That's wrong. All of the social conditioning actually has us believe somehow in this idea of quote unquote sin or in glorifying.

The fact when we self sacrifice, in fact, I have to say it wasn't until I had been unhappily married for many, many years, that I had to look at what was my training ground. And when I thought back to what I. Was conditioned to believe about what marriage was. I was told that when you loved somebody, you laid down your life for them.

I mean, how crazy is that? That's crazy. Right. But that's what a lot of people are taught. Oh, love is a sacrifice. It's like, hold the phone. Wait a minute. Yeah, of course. Make sacrifices in our lives. I'm not gonna say that we don't, but that's not what love is 

Kristen: Completely. Yeah. 

Monica: And so I love, I love what's happening here because it's really like, we have to examine some of these belief systems and sin okay if you've been brought up in a religious environment, sin gets really interesting because it's very convoluted. So I wonder if you have anything more to say about the subject of sin. 

Kristen: Yeah. So definitely. Lots of, of messaging programming conditioning around Santa was, I was raised in a religious home. And so sin was like always discussed, like, and, and I would monitor how I showed up in the world based on, you know, wanting to avoid sin.

And I think, I think lack is, is a big thing that comes into this, like that, that comes into the conversation of sin because it's like, there's this, when we, when we're subscribed to lack, we believe that there's a cap to. Two resources essentially. So there's a cap to how much pleasure there is in the world.

So if I take some, then someone else can't have it, or there's a lack, there's a limit to how much money there is in the world. How much abundance there is. If I take some, I'm taking it away from someone else. So, right. Like I think lack is a big reason that we buy in to sin, because we think that us having means another struggling.

When, of course that's not ultimate truth. That's, that's an illusion that we've bought into. 

Monica: Yeah. I love that.

Kristen: I, I think, I mean, there's so much to say what's sin. 

Monica: My favorite thing that I, or one of the revelations I've had around sin, especially too, because like sin, I don't know if you just heard rebreathe. I was like, you know, like, because, because again, being brought up, it was like sin was somehow associated with some big brother notion of a male God in the sky was constantly like in judgment of me. And when I really started to again, do like my deconstructing work, my really starting to get curious about like, oh my God, like, why do I feel this way?

What, what is this belief system that I hold? One of my greatest revelations was around what the origin of the word is. And it means to miss the mark, that sin also means to separate. So when I think about that, I often think of it. Forgetting. As in the same context of, to separate or missing the mark, that when we forget that we are allowed to be both human and divine, that it all gets to belong.

Yes. Then we're in sin, which you could as easily replace the word. I forgot. I forgot I'm allowed to be an imperfect human. And that's what I love about this conversation is here we are arriving right back at perfection and the gift of imperfection. 

Kristen: Yeah. You know what? It's so interesting because so many of the things that we have been taught are sinful, I have found are actually some of the ways that I remember my own divinity, the most example sex.

Monica: Yes.

Kristen: I'm like, yeah, sinful disgusting, like dark thing. And yet those are some of the moments that I feel the most connected to, to the source, the goddess, whatever within me, same thing with feminine. I think there's a lot of ways that we've seen the feminine as, as sinful. Like it's lazy. It's unproductive. Like the emotions are like wrong. Crazy diligent. Yeah. Indulge. Oh my gosh. Yes. And yet when I'm connected to my feminine, when I'm, I'm attuned with my sensitivity, when I'm in my body, again, most connected, divine in those moments as well, desire when I'm following my desire, when I'm following my expansion.

When I say yes to that, So connected to soul, so connected to the divine intelligence that's existing within me. And yet I've always been told it's wrong to want more, it's wrong to step into your power. It's wrong to step into your greatness. Like you're taking away from other people. I think that's really interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. Please do 

Monica: Pleasure, pleasure to be in our pleasure to follow our pleasure, to be informed by our pleasure. That also is when we are saying yes to ourselves when we are in pleasure, we are also deeply connected to source. And yet, so many of us have been conditioned to think that pleasure is wrong is bad. Is dirty, is selfish. It's fascinating. 

Kristen: Yeah, just that it's unproductive. Like it's pointless. It's, you know, Just again, it goes back to the do versus be that being holds no value. 

Monica: Right. And that's that whole other side of that masculine energy. That again, we've negated and we've suppressed within ourselves and in suppressing it within ourselves, we see it suppressed out in the world.

And another one is intuition when I am. Feeling into something, or I am channeling when I'm setting space, for example, for a podcast episode, and I'm making that intentional connection to source and things start coming through me that I don't necessarily, even sometimes when I listened to the podcast later on, I'm like, oh, I have no idea like where that came from.

Right? Like sometimes that's an indicator that I'm connected to source energy that is divinely kind of coming through me and I, and again, we've been taught that our intuition is unreliable, that it's somehow woo. That it's, again, all these feminine energies that we've been taught to avoid are our path to wholeness as women.

And I think that fracturing is. What you had experienced in those three major kind of, you know, rebirth or, uh, what you called reincarnation experiences? 

Kristen: Absolutely. Definitely another common thread and all three of those experiences was the rejection of my feminine, like came up in and like you said, that was alive within me.

And that was also in the collective showing up for, you know, reflecting in me, showed up in the eating disorder region, denying myself of pleasure, denying the natural shape, curvature, whatever of my body. Came up in the health crisis when the solution to my healing was not in doing it was not an adding in a new supplement plan or doing or working with a new doctor.

It was opening myself to health. It was opening myself to wellbeing. It was allowing myself to embrace rest, to embrace, ease, to connect to my sensitivity is so I could feel all of the trauma that was repressed in my body. That was a gateway to my health, but I was in such a numbed out state. I was in such a rejection of my feeling that if I had continued in rejection of the feminine, they would have never healed.

And same thing with money. I was totally attached to just like we've been talking about in this entire conversation, like the do to receive the action to receive. And of course action's important, but it was. Actually the feminine, it was bringing in the feminine, it was allowing myself, it was allowing, it was giving myself spaciousness.

It was giving myself pleasure. It was allowing myself to make business decisions based on intuition. That was the solution to that problem that I, that was showing up in my experience. 

Monica: Yeah, I can so relate the, the ways in which we, again, don't necessarily know when you, when you kind of look at some of these issues on the surface, you don't actually recognize them as the negation of the feminine. We don't necessarily look at an eating disorder and think, you know, or disordered eating and think there's an aspect of the feminine in that, because the, what do I want to say here? Because that energy is so nourishing, that energy is so full of permission and love. And so when we're withholding from ourselves, when we're allowing ourselves to be subordinated to messaging out there that is actually harmful to ourselves, we're not in our full sovereignty, we're not in our fullness as fully sovereign beings as women.

And so it's interesting when we look at all the ways in which society wants us to conform conform, conform, and really to point back to your, kind of your, some of your original statements, there's all of these conditions out in the world that have women put themselves up against invisible measuring stick. And we have to start asking, who's holding the measuring stick. 

Kristen: Yeah. And, you know, I. This is why I love working with the eye, this concept of sacred rebellion. And I think that women are really especially needed and, you know, the revolution that we're collectively, that we're needing. I think that. There's such a power.

I think within all of us, there's like this rebel that wants to be called on and, and expressed. But when we can pair it with this, this idea with the sacred, it's like we're rebelling with intention and with consciousness. So I love the idea of inviting women to do their own work, to rise out of their wounded, feminine and wounded masculine states, but especially to, to rise into their awakened or divine feminine expression, and to go first, to be the one to live embodied in her pleasure, embodied in her sensitivity and bodied in intimacy and intuition in rest spaciousness in her being.

Because just by her embracing, what is most natural to her essence, to her core, she becomes the living, breathing, walking permission, slip. She becomes the walking revolution. She creates. A true ripple in the collective, just by connecting back to her true nature.

Monica: I love I'm going to like quote you there. I love, I love what you just said. It was so beautiful and it's true that pairing. Those two words is so delicious, sacred rebellion. I love the Nat ministry and it's like rest as resistance. Because again, there's this way that we have agreed. It's a silent and unconscious agreement to burn ourselves out, to give until we have nothing left, like the giving tree, which I hate that book.

So I can't even tell you, I used to get in so much trouble for saying that, but once I found my people, they understood why I said, I hate that book. I hate it. And somebody rewrote it, but yeah. But to kind of have boundaries, like a tree that had boundaries. But anyway, I love that. Yeah. Cause of course like the story Marie itself is beautiful until you look under the surface and you're like, wait a minute.

She is feminine and you know, the boys masculine and she just keeps giving and giving until she's just a stump. Right. I'm like, no, 

Kristen: That would be incredibly problematic. 

Monica: Right. It gets to live in it in the world as like a beautiful, again, like a beautiful sacrifice. She gave her, she sacrificed herself until there's nothing left. It's like now, so yeah. What, tell me all right. I know we still have a little bit of time here, so I want to keep diving into your brilliance. And I want to know more about you talk about the 3d matrix and how it is designed actually to disconnect us from our inherent worthiness power and sovereignty. So I know we've kind of been like hinting around that, but say more.

Kristen: Okay. So yes, totally. It's been really alive in this conversation, like little sneak peeks as to how this shows up. And I'm sure that people listening have a sense of what this is or you know, why this success. But I basically, I like to introduce the 3d matrix as. Kind of this invisible and sometimes not so invisible control structure on the planet.

That's really designed to keep the majority of the population in lower states of consciousness and disappointment. And the idea is that if this happens, then resources can sort of be centralized in the hands of those who either hold or come into or inherit the greatest levels of power and authority.

And so, you know, you can think about how self sacrifice comes up. If we believe that sacrifice is good, if we believe that that's even holy. We're going to have less and actually more of these resources will be centralized. If we reject our desires, just like we've been talking about, we won't claim more.

We won't step into our power and more power and resources will be centralized. So one of the ways that this matrix is upheld and created is through subconscious programming. And that shows up in so many ways, but particularly in religion and education in policy in media and pop culture. And, uh, we've touched on some of the biggest ways that I teach about.

And then I've seen in my own experience like sin, like shame, like judgment of our normal human experiences and desires like feminine, seeing the feminine as inferior, weak, unproductive. There's also a really big way. This has done around trusting authority versus trusting the self. So we learn to disregard our own knowing.

We learn to ask for permission and we learn to outsource our power. We learned that we're not sovereign. Like we are, we're choosing from a platter that's, you know, not ultimate truth. It's like this really limited, just like we were talking about with our upper limits where like the choices were, we might be given a choice a or B when in reality, there are infinite choices, but we're only given a couple to choose from. Whereas if we truly knew our sovereignty we'd know that the choices are endless, 

Monica: We'd know that there was a whole hidden buffet. 

Kristen: Exactly right. 

Monica: Chocolate or vanilla. And we're like, wait a minute. You're missing like 31 flavors here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. Yes. And it's also, this matrix is what I refer to as the trance of unworthiness, the trance, right. The trance that we're in. It's like, we don't even know that we're in it because a fish doesn't know it's in water. Right. We're steeped in it like a teabag. 

Kristen: Right. And it's so invisible. It's again in, it kind of exists in the subtle realm. So it's, and because it's been with us. Birth. And even we can even think back, like it was with us before birth, it was work where we're bringing this in ancestrally as well.

So it can be hard to recognize. And often it's just that we're where we aren't aware. We don't have the level of consciousness that's required to actually see how this is playing out. And so we don't even know again, that there is the whole buffet behind what we've been shown is available to us. So that's why I really work a lot with conscious expansion with shifting our paradigm and with divine reclamation, because when we're embodied in our own divinity, when we're embodied and soul, we it's like instantly and effortlessly, the 3d matrix just dissolves.

We just see beyond it. We're connected to infinite intelligence where. Intimately connected with source and everything that's alive in the 3d matrix, no longer holds the same power. And of course, when our consciousness is expanded, we're able to choose from our sovereignty to choose from our inherent power, as opposed to outsourcing our power, outsourcing our choice and sort of living by default that a lot of us experience.

And that was certainly my experience before I had, you know, what I call divine reclamation before I awakened, before I stepped into an expanded state of consciousness. 

Monica: Yeah. And that default mode is it is also the trance, right? Because once you, I would say that once you do kind of arrive and transform into a new state of consciousness, Yes, you're going to always kind of retain that awareness.

And there are multiple ways that we can kind of fall back into default mode. If we don't have a continual practice or a community in place who is also awake and who is also helping us. Remember when we forget that when we fall back into the trance, because as we, as women continually kind of step out into the world and in bigger and more courageous ways, what we bump up against are the unrevealed, still walls and places where we might have a condition that we didn't recognize.

How it played out in this certain way. And so your most recent one was around money, which kind of like each piece was its own big puzzle piece. And each piece revealed more freedom and more liberation, but it wasn't until that third piece that you kind of saw the whole pattern and then the whole scaffolding collapse.

Kristen: Right. And yeah, I love what you said because I, you know, I used the word divine reclamation, which sounds like it could be this arrival point where we just have this one remembrance and we're one and done, and we never fall back into illusion or fear or scarcity or whatever. And that's not. The way that it works at all, because this, this, the con the, the matrix runs so far and so deep, and it's, it's alive in every facet of the world, every facet of society.

So there, and it, and it's sneaky as well. And that's what I would say. Like the more awake you are, the more sneaky the programming is, like, it takes a higher level of awareness to even see it. Yeah. Uh, it takes like, it's like a very, like, look, there's a lot of like refining. I think it takes a V it's a lot of like really, really, really subtle energetics that are, that show up.

Monica: So let me get, let's give an example. Okay. Because I think it's so important to give an example here, like how this shows up with super awake people. So I think, and I don't know, Kristen, if you think this is a good example, But how it gets really sneaky is for somebody who is really awake, let's say Marie Forleo, with what happened with the race in the past.

I think it was last June where she, she really did kind of stumble into a mass kind of thinking that politics didn't belong kind of what she was calling politics and discussions. Like she was kind of segregating those conversations versus allowing because there were so many people, black indigenous, you know, Asian that were in her community that were like, hold on here.

If we're all part of this community, why doesn't this conversation about my rights belong here, about my own freedom belong here about my own equality and sovereignty belong here in this conversation. Would you say that's a, a good example of how that shows up in sneaky ways to people. Are awakened at a different level who are offering, they're definitely a Lightworker they're offering great things to the world. They're in alignment in so many ways. And then boom, they can step in their own pile of poop, 

Kristen: Right? Because, you know, consciously, she may have thought that that was the best choice she could have made when she was later shown that it actually created a level of suffering for many people that were in her community.

And I think it also goes back to this conversation around like, multidimensionality well, who's to say that race or politics are not a part of business or personal development. Of course it's going to be connected. Right. So yes. I definitely think that's an example. I think fear gets really sneaky and trickier to identify as we ascend or awaken.

I think, you know, another thing that's coming to mind is. Discernment being something that's really important. There's a lot of, you know, we could call it like false light that's that exists within the spiritual space. And so I think discernment is something that's important. Like not falling into the trap of people who are posing, like their teachings on us, or like, you know, guru mentality where we're like having w where we're again, having to redirect back to our own truth back to our own, knowing back to our own sovereignty.

So I think that's another place that, that shows up, um, being able to have greater and greater levels of discernment, the more that we awakened. Right. 

Monica: And I, I love what you're saying too about discernment, and I want to point back to that same, that same episode and say that discernment is also when we can recognize that.

We all make mistakes. Even people who we think are super enlightened and conscious, and in our discernment, we can offer them grace. We don't have to be part of this canceled culture that can be super toxic and super abusive. And I'm not going to say that there aren't some things that I'm privately celebrating that have been canceled, but I'm saying that there's, there's a way that that can be like throwing the baby out with the bath water.

And I think that that can be a terrible way for us to relate to somebody human failure. 

Kristen: Right. And, and if, if we are rejecting the humanity of someone else, we are, we're always rejecting. Humanity within ourselves. So we, I think we have to be really, really careful around cancel culture, because if we're willing to, if we're so willing to completely cancel another human being, I have to imagine that there are many ways we're canceling our own selves as well.

Monica: Yes. Oh great point. Great point. Okay. I'm making notes.

Kristen: Yeah. And you know what I think while we're on this topic, this is maybe a little bit, a little bit of a different direction, but I think it's relevant to this conversation of like how things get sneakier and sneakier. It also will happen in your patterns. So when you're first awakening, uh, or at least for me, for sure, my patterns would be fairly obvious.

Like I was always kind of aware of them consciously. Clearing the pattern. I had to go into my unconscious and do some healing there as I've awakened more, the patterns are not actually in my conscious awareness. And in order to even know that there's something wrong, I have to take a deep, unconscious dive.

So I'll give an example. Have you ever heard of existential kink? 

Monica: Yes. I actually have it on my bookshelf, but I haven't read it 

Kristen: yet. Okay. I have, I haven't ordered it. I haven't actually read the book, but I've been aware of this concept for awhile. It's basically the idea that like, if we're experiencing something in our lives that consciously, we don't like.

The idea is that we always have what we want. So if, if we don't like it consciously, there's always a part of us in our subconscious or unconscious that likes it. And not only likes it and to feel safe there, but actually like kind of gets off to it. Hence the name existential kink. 

Monica: Okay. I, now I understand that it's genius. Yeah. 

Kristen: Which is totally genius. Like I love it. So that's where it's like super tricky because everything in your conscious awareness, like I hate this. I hate being broke. I hate being sick. I hate being unhealthy. 

Monica: There's a payoff somewhere is what you're saying. 

Kristen: Exactly. Exactly. And that's super tricky to see. Yeah. Until you do the digging to see it. 

Monica: I'm going to use an example too, because I just want to check in and make sure that we're on the same page. So for example, I could easily or clearly see a pattern when I was in my. Twenties and thirties about kind of choosing men who are emotionally unavailable.

So that's like a pattern that I could see it. I didn't necessarily know how to break it, but I could see it. Then once of course, I did kind of figure out how to break that pattern. I broke it, but today let's say there's, if there's something in my present life that I really don't like it, and it kind of triggers me when it comes up. There's also a pattern there because I still have it in my life. And so that therefore there must be some kind of payoff for me. Is that what you're saying? 

Kristen: Exactly. Yeah. It's like, we always have what our primal, what our unconscious wants, so, and like, I can, I mean, it's so funny. This conversation is so full circle. \Like I can draw it. This conversation back to those three initial, messy human moments. And I'll just choose. I'll just show you like with one in my health, there was a huge payoff that I actually experienced from being sick. Of course, consciously I'm like, I hate this, this sucks. This is so isolating. I feel so disconnected from all of my friends who are in their twenties, who are like out partying while I'm like in the house struggling.

Like, why is this happening to me? Well, the payoff was that when I was sick, I was able to receive so much unconditional love for my family. Got out of so much responsibility, like people would say, oh, well, you're struggling. You're sick. Let me do this for you. Don't worry about it. And I loved that. There was a part of me that like, loved that. Like I hate responsibility. I don't want to deal with this. Like, yes, thank God I got out of that one. 

Monica: And I would also add to that one that you also got something out of controlling yourself at that level. 

Kristen: Totally, totally like that micro managing itself and that like, yes, absolutely. And there was a, there was a pressure. That I got to get like opt out of, like, I would put so much pressure on myself to perform in school, to perform and in family to perform in relationships that because I was sick, it was like, okay, this is my, this is my I'm sick. I can be gentle with myself. I'll take the pressure off if my grades slip a little bit, whatever, but I would never have given myself that permission had I not been sick.

So like, you can see how this is all totally under the surface. I never would have been aware of it. Had I not peeled back all the layers, tens of dozens of lines. 

Monica: Right? Yeah. And so here we are really kind of like you said, full circle. Like I love where our conversation took us today. Kristen, like such a deep, rich revealing conversation. And I didn't know, you know, I know we're almost at time here, but I wanted to ask you, is there any, any kind of last thing that you want to invite our listeners to think about or anything that you want to tell them about where they can find you online? Because of course I will have your links in the show notes, but I love to have them leave this episode.

Maybe a, a thought to keep in mind or some other gem that you want to leave them with? Well, yes. 

Kristen: Let me, let me start with my links. And as I'm sharing, I'm going to, I'm going to kind of feel into anything else that might want to be shared. And I'll just echo as well, how much I absolutely loved this conversation and I could have never expected that it would flow in the way that it did get it covered everything that I really wanted to share and that I, I know we were meant to discuss.

So I just love how that happens and I love how everything kind of came back to that initial story. So thank you so much for your. Art in the way that you facilitate these episodes, it truly is an art and it's beautiful to witness, um, you hosting. So in terms of where people can find me, I'm really active on Instagram.

Um, my username is @imKristenlynch and then my website is goddessbrandco.com. And my podcast is Goddess Talk Podcast. And Monica's episode should be live on there, but then the next month or so probably. So you'll be able to hear our conversation over there as well. And in terms of any kind of closing message, you know, I think I would just reiterate.

This divine reclamation piece. I, if there's anything people could take away from this conversation, this is a, this is a piece that was really missing for me in all of the personal development and all the healing work that I did and all the spiritual work, it was like, like we talked about it was that unending perpetual search for wholeness.

And when I finally became aware of the just unquestionable inherent divinity, that was always, there always would be couldn't be destroyed or altered, no matter what I was experiencing in my human, that was like one of those major pieces that created so many shifts in my life and, and touched every facet of my experience was just having that, having that divinity piece embodied in my experience that just no longer was my worth.

The question no longer was my power question. It was just like done. And integrated and unquestioned. 

Monica: And I'll just add that, that, that the holy right, the whole is holy. That is that sacred piece that, that all of these parts of us get to belong. And like, we don't have to do or be anything more than we are in this moment right now.

And that gets to be sacred and holy and holy. 

Kristen: Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 

Monica: Yeah. Thank you again. And you know, we will have, for sure, you guys have to listen to. Podcast, obviously she's also a gifted conversationalist I brag and yeah. And you're just going to love the various topics that they dive into over there.

So for sure, listen to another sister out there, who's doing great work in the world and I'll be sure to have her links in the show notes. So until next episode, more to be revealed,

We hope you enjoyed this episode. For more information, please visit us@jointherevelation.com and be sure to download our free gift subscribed to our mailing list or leave us a review on iTunes. We thank you for your generous listening and as always more to be revealed.