122 - Sara and Charlotte Vetter === Sara: The old me was so caught up in money and status in looking perfect and having the perfect social life and being the perfect looking mother in vain, the, and having my children look a certain way. Act a certain way in going to the fancy resorts for ski weeks and spring breaks in chartering planes and having my house be perfect. And I was, and I was lost. I was empty. I was depressed. I numbed out a lot. I drank too much, you know, nice wine. My relationship with Charlotte's dad was, you know, we were not con we were living these parallel lives of trying to keep up from me, trying to keep up with the Joneses. And it's weird. I had everything on the outside. You know, I have this beautiful family, this gorgeous home and the heart of Silicon valley and Atherton. I had everything on the outside. That's another person would look in and say, wow, you know, beautiful. You know, together always looked great. And yet I feared. And I figured I would sabotage it. I woke up depressed. I lived in kind of dark, shadowy place. So, but I didn't really realize it until it all crashed till, you know, we got divorced. It was traumatic for me. I felt like I lost limbs on my body. I didn't know how to be Sara without being wife of Joe and mother of Charlotte, Andrew and Thomas, you know, full time. So it was. Messed with my identity. And I had to get to the darkest, dark, dark, uh, which I thought I hid from the kids, which I didn't. I had to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of growth, a lot of, you know, landing my work with Soul of Money Institute and Pachamama Alliance and going to the Amazon. I mean, all these things just slowly but surely, but surely, but surely I pulled myself out of that deep darkness === Monica: Welcome to the Revelation Project Podcast. I'm Monica Rogers, and this podcast is intended to disrupt the trance of unworthiness and to guide women, to remember and reveal the truth of who we are. We say that life is a revelation project and what gets revealed gets healed. Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of the Revelation Project Podcast today. I'm with two various special guests, a mother and a daughter, both of whom are incredibly talented, vibrant, dynamic, and entrepreneurial. And today what we're really talking about is how to break free from patriarchal wounds, generational wounds, and how the mother daughter dynamic plays into that. I wanted to actually start by reading something written by Bethany Webster. She is. An expert on the mother wound and mother daughter relationships. And I just loved what she wrote on this subject. Most of us learn patriarchal thinking in our families, and it's usually a taught unconscious. My mother's, this can be particularly damaging for daughters and their ability to flourish as empowered women, because a mother's treatment of her daughter gets internalized as her own sense of self. The patriarchal messages, daughters receive from their mothers are more insidious and damaging than any of the cultural messages combined. Why. Because they come from the one person the daughter must bond with in order to survive. The mother wound is a product of patriarchy on a personal level. It is the mother's projection of her own unhealed. wounds on the daughter and on the collective level, it's the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that have resulted from generations of female oppression, patriarchy distorts dynamics between mothers and daughters that leave both disempowered. The interesting thing about our conversation today is that what we're talking about. Is the dynamics between mothers and daughters that recognize this and are actually breaking these generational chains. And I really wanted to create this conversation with Sara. and Charlotte Vetter today because both of these dynamic and incredible women have done so much individual work in their own. Right. And are coming together today to talk about their individual story and also their story from, you know, obviously being. In this dynamic of mother daughter. So I want to welcome both of them, but before I do, I want to give you a little bit of background. First about Charlotte Vetter. Charlotte is a playful powerhouse with a deep devotion to living an awakened life. Her mission is to ignite inspiration through transformative and impactful experiences. While empowering individuals with the tools to feel resourced and radically expressed, known for her soul blueprint, evolutionary astrology readings, and engaging live classes. Her approach is strong yet graceful by bringing levity to challenges. She guides her clients to honor themselves while breaking through blockages to reprogram body and mind the results. Is a life filled with more radiant joy, and also I'm welcoming her. Mother's Sara Vetter, Sara. And I know each other through the soul of money Institute and Sara is just such an inspiration. She is the managing director of the Soul of Money Institute. She's a coach, a consultant, a workshop leader, a keynote speaker and strategist she's been working not only with the soul of money, but also with the Pachamama Alliance, raising millions of dollars a year for the last 12 years. She's also just such an advocate for the Alliance between indigenous people of the Amazon and conscious, committed people in the modern world. So the most fascinating. Women, both of them in their own. Right. And I'm going to allow them to introduce themselves a little more as we go here, because there's only so much I can say, but first I want to welcome both of you, Sara and Charlotte. So happy you're here. Sara: Oh, well, thank you. This is Sara. And this is, this is such a thrill for me, such a thrill to be on here with Charlotte, Monica: Charlotte, and Charlotte. You are. Coming to us this morning from where like you were in Costa Rica. I think last time I talked to you, where are you now? Charlotte: Yeah, I was living in Costa Rica and now I'm living in Portugal. Monica: Wow. And what is it? How long have you been there? Like tell us something. Charlotte: So I've been here for about six weeks and I'm here living in a small community and we're experimenting with creating an off-grid sort of off-grid like permaculture, sustainable community in nature. Yeah, I Monica: know I have so many questions right off the bat, but you know, I, I want to also go back to the first time we met and kind of created the container for this conversation because. I really resonated so much with just the energy of the relationship that you and Sara have. It reminds me a lot of my relationship with my own daughter and we share so many similarities. And part of that of course, is kind of the story of divorce and growing up. In and and Sara, this is where you and I share a similarity growing up in families of privilege and also really just having kind of gone into our marriages. I think. Thinking that life was a certain way only to find out and kind of course, correct. As we went. Sara: Yeah. I mean, can I say something here? I want to say this is Sara. A couple of things. Um, maybe I don't need to say that. One is first of all, hearing Charlotte's bio. Like I didn't, I didn't know that bio, like, wow, here. I'm like my God that's my daughter. Yeah. So I just want to say that was super fulfilling and beautiful to hear that. And then I loved that quote you started out with because I, I went right to. What she was saying about the sort of the patriarchal mother wound that I came into my marriage with and then had children with like unhealed mother wound. Yeah. I just, I just want to say I had a huge mother wound myself. My mother. was manic. She wasn't there for me. She, she did the best she could. I had nannies and a woman named Lucy who, who cared for me as a newborn. So I think I came into, I know I came into motherhood and marriage, like making sure I, that didn't happen for me and that I would be totally different kind of mother. And so there's unconscious damaging results from that. So I don't know. I just wanted to say that because when you shared that quote, When I heard Charlotte's bio I'm like, wow. And then I really reflected. What that was how that was so unconscious. And I didn't really even realize that too. You just said that quote. Monica: So yeah, I love, I love what you're pointing to Sara, because it's the same for me when I was thinking about framing this conversation. And I was looking at Bethany Webster's. It's so revealing. It's like, I think we all have that mother wound and we carry it. And without being conscious of it, we continue to kind of perpetuate it through the generations. And that's why I admire what you both have done so much, which is you've kind of recognized and set each other free. And. That doesn't mean we're all healed and it's all good because of course we're still living in a very patriarchal world and we're starting to learn how to continually liberate each other. So it's a powerful conversation in general and I'm just, I'm here for it. So actually, Charlotte, I would love to start by just asking you. A couple of questions. If you don't mind, the first thing I wanted to ask you is what. Most inspires you about your own mother? Um, Charlotte: Well what inspires me most about my own mother is that she is like the feminine essence of Kali, like Kali is this Hindu goddess. That's like, we'll stand up no matter what for anyone we'll fight to the end is like so powerful and brave that it's like, nobody can defeat her. And that she's just willing to like jump in front of buses for everyone that she loves. And there's like this determination and grit and like survival energy that she carries that is like, it gives me hope. Sara: Wow.\ Monica: I love that. Wow. Yeah. Sara: Okay. I'm already crying. Monica: I was like grab some tissues here. It is. Also ladies is like, how often do we get to reflect to each other what we are to each other and it's multi dimensional for sure. Yeah. Always changing, always growing, always expanding. And Charlotte, what was it like for you to grow up in Atherton, California? Charlotte: Well, it's really interesting. To reflect on it now that I'm so far from that life, it was. I mean, it was beautiful in many ways and I had everything I needed and it was, it was nice. There's nothing like really bad to say about it, except that I knew from early on, early on that, like, this was not for me. I understand, like, especially from, from really like believing in working with astrology, that like our souls choose certain families and incarnations and locations for a reason. And I really see why. Put in, in this, why I chose it, you know, but it was. It was challenging because the entire overarching, I mean, I really feel like the community there is very steeped in the patriarchy and it's the, what people value are in general. Like this is I'm generalizing, but I feel in general, what people value there is how much you do, how good you are at your, at school at sports, how smart you are, how much money you make. And these are all. Very patriarchal values in which really early on, I realized that that's not who I am and that's not how I want to be valued. And that's not even really what I'm good at, you know, I, and so it was hard to be in this very hyper intensive where like women were acting like men and my friends were like in this, this, like this very masculine energy, like I've had to, I feel I've really had to unlearn a lot to return to the, the feminine part of myself. Um, Monica: Yeah, unlearn a lot. I, that is a theme that comes up over and over again, I call it the unbecoming process and I love that play on words because of course we're often conditioned to do what's becoming for a woman, right. What's becoming for a lady and those limiting gender roles and also. You know, this kind of upside down mentality or feeling is what I'm hearing that you were describing, which is where women were acting these masculine roles. Because of course there's no model for what it really means to be feminine in the upright, mature and integrated way. And so when you said that Charlotte, I was really relating to that because. What does that even mean until we start to figure that out for ourselves? Sara: Yeah. Can I say something here? It's when you said that Charlotte, what I immediately went to was a memory of, uh, your dad and I divorcing you were 11, 12, and about to go into the sacred heart Catholic high school, where everybody went was the school to go to. And you. I, I feel like maybe it was before that, but that's when you really took a stand and said, I don't want this. I want to be brave. And I want to go to boarding school, which was a total shocker for me being controlling mom at the time, like. Leave me, you know, I made it about me for a minute and then I realized this was about you. But that to me is when you got out and you went to this amazing boarding school, met girls and boys from all over the world, diverse, sacred heart was a complete white, you know, everyone looked. Us, you know, blonde ponytail from Stanford, Harvard, you know, like th th the thing, the Atherton sort of patriarchy, and you took this huge leap of faith. You were, I just remember, I can remember dropping you off that at that boarding school was so traumatic for me. And you were scared as all get up, but you flourished there to me, that was like the beginning of you stepping into your own. And I am not. This is not for me. I need to get out there. And then from there, oh my God, you went to, you did so many things after boarding school and you excelled so beautifully there in such diversity. So I don't know. I wanted to say that, cause that really showed up for me was a marker for me at age 11 or 12, when that happened. And it was so brilliant. To take that stand and go for it and to say, Hey mom and dad, I'm out. You come see me. I'm not doing this back and forth thing anymore. Monica: I want to get curious about that. Charlotte, what was going on for you? Like, as your mom talks about it, does it ring. True. Charlotte: Yeah, absolutely. I, well, so it was a couple of years after the divorce that I was old enough to go to boarding school. And I remember like seventh grade people start talking about it and then eighth grade you were like really getting ready. And I, it's funny because I can't really tell you how. Came to it, but I overheard I was at my friend Caroline's house and I overheard that her sister was going to boarding school. I was like listening in the kitchen and I was like, what's that? And I went on, I think I like went on someone else's computer to like, look in Google it. And I was like, wow, there's this thing that you can go to. And, and I just knew that it was something for me to look and I said, I want to do that. And I think I really knew I wanted to go because I want. Do a shadow session at the high school. And I walked around and it just felt cold and it felt kind of boring. Just bleh. I already like hate, I didn't, I didn't hate the school I went to before, but it just lacked like a vibrancy. We all wore uniforms. We all did the same thing. It was all about how smart you are and how good you can do on the test. And there was no value on how good are you at relating with people? How good at you are making people feel better when they, they fall on the playground? How good of a friend or you are like, none of those things were valued. And that's what I really cared about. I just, I knew that I didn't want what was happening with where I was. I knew I didn't want it anymore. And I had heard, and the only thing I'd heard of was this thing called boarding school. So I remember I went to go to her and I walk on the campus and everyone's wearing different colors and everyone has different color skin and everyone is laughing and in nature. And I was like, oh my God, these are my people. I just knew. Monica: Right. Like I can breathe here. Charlotte: I just knew. I don't know, it's, I'm, I'm very sensitive to spaces. It's like, for me, I literally took one step onto the height that, that high school campus of the Catholic school and my whole body told me no, like, no. Sara: Wow. Wow. Charlotte: So I just, and I feel the universe was really like guiding me to take that step because. She knew that there was something else that was possible for me. Monica: Yeah. Charlotte: That that environment was going to further like push me down. And instead of. I needed to be like uplifted and like allowed to express myself in all of my, my truth. Monica: Yeah. And here's where I want to turn back to your mom for a minute. So, Sara, one of the things that I know that you've shared with me, that you admire about Charlotte, Is her courage, but let me ask you the same question that I asked Charlotte, which is what most inspires you about your daughter, Charlotte. Sara: Oh my God. I'm gonna cry again, such a crier. Ah, everything, her courage, her passion, her love for life, her connection to nature, her embodiment, her like she, she went against the grain of the patriarchy of the society that she grew up in. After she graduated college, there was a space in which she moved back to the bay area, which is where I live in San Francisco and got trained in yoga and was exceptional. But was starting from the bottom. Put into, or was in a space of teaching for women like the women and Atherton like me, you know, like the, like the old me, the previous meeting and it. Killed her. I mean, it was just, it was like watching her in that space was so challenging and what I absolutely pleasure that she, then again, it's sort of like, then again, at that time in her life, she knew she had to get out and pre COVID. She went and did a yoga training in Mexico and basically never came back. This amazing woman had the courage to go against the grain, to be a nomad, basically to almost to sell everything, to put everything in storage, get out her suitcase and just go to the unknown and live life and find her people, her community make a living do online courses. Do in-person courses like she did that all on her own. I mean unbelievable. And I would always think I could never have done that at that age. I mean, I sort of blossomed in my fifties, but here she is, you know, in her twenties and just going for an, there was pushback from her, you know, she grew up with this really close knit group of amazing. Women now girls that she went to since preschool that were doing the other path, you know, the working at the Google, Facebook, the law, you know, doing, doing that thing that is sort of expected from the other parents and, and that upbringing. So I just, I just in awe of her and she's got this Instagram, that's amazing. I see her pictures and she's just like, her body looks different, her energy coming through the computers, different. Her space and her ability to continue to expand and grow and teach and put herself out there and face her edges is just staggering to me. And I feel like I have this phenomenal data that I'm so proud of, but I also have like a deep sister, sister, like sister relationship, or like a relationship where we can talk about. I tell her things. I can't believe I tell her we talk about things that I can't, that I would, that I sort of blows me away. I'm open with her and I'm able to share what I'm doing and she's my biggest cheerleader. And I'm her biggest cheerleader. And it's just an, a remarkable relationship. That's come a long way because we had those years where I would walk in the room and she heard the eye roll. You know, like beyond, like what are you doing here? So we've had those mother-daughter years of, wow, you need to go away and I need to do my thing. And here we are in this amazing, beautiful relationship, doing amazing things in the world together and separately. Monica: What I'm hearing too is that. There was something that made that dynamic possible. I want to get curious about it because you know, Charlotte. Explained a little bit more about what Atherton was like, but I want to go back to what you called the old you Sara. And I want you to describe that a little bit more, if you will. Sara: The old me was so caught up in money and status in looking perfect and having the perfect social life and being the perfect looking mother in vain, the, and having my children look a certain way. Act a certain way in going to the fancy resorts for ski weeks and spring breaks in chartering planes and having my house be perfect. And I was, and I was lost. I was empty. I was depressed. I numbed out a lot. I drank too much, you know, nice wine. My relationship with Charlotte's dad was, you know, we were not con we were living these parallel lives of trying to keep up from me, trying to keep up with the Joneses. And it's weird. I had everything on the outside. You know, I have this beautiful family, this gorgeous home and the heart of Silicon valley and Atherton. I had everything on the outside. That's another person would look in and say, wow, you know, beautiful. You know, together always looked great. And yet I feared. And I figured I would sabotage it. I woke up depressed. I lived in kind of dark, shadowy place. So, but I didn't really realize it until it all crashed till, you know, we got divorced. It was traumatic for me. I felt like I lost limbs on my body. I didn't know how to be Sara without being wife of Joe and mother of Charlotte, Andrew and Thomas, you know, full time. So it was. Messed with my identity. And I had to get to the darkest, dark, dark, uh, which I thought I hid from the kids, which I didn't. I had to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of growth, a lot of, you know, landing my work with Soul of Money Institute and Pachamama Alliance and going to the Amazon. I mean, all these things just slowly but surely, but surely, but surely I pulled myself out of that deep darkness, but my Atherton life was basically. Amazing on so many levels. Amazing. I'm so blessed to have had the privilege to do the things that we did and to raise my kids that way and also dark, dark, and, and yeah, and I got so caught in the patriarchy. Ooh, I was caught and it's what I knew my parents expected. Cause they were like that they were all about image. They're all about how I looked. I grew up like never having dirt on my body or just, I had to be perfect. Absolutely look perfect all the time. And that carried, carried into me as an adult and to me as a wife and to me as a mother and I carried it over to my children, they always had to look perfect and it drove them nuts. Monica: Yeah. Sara: I'm sure it drove Charlotte crazy to always have to have her look a certain way. So yeah. Monica: Well, and there it is. So you had said the patriarchal trappings or, you know, something kind of about that, but I go back to what that Bethany Webster quote was about. It was all about the compliance that was required in order for you to be accepted and, and then carrying that into your marriage until you couldn't carry it anymore. That's when that kind of breakdown happened. And I wonder now I want to kind of turn back towards Charlotte and just say, Charlotte, what were you observing as your mom was kind of. Starting to what I call reclon with the truth. Sara: Oh boy. Monica: Yeah. Light conversation here today ladies. Sara: For sure. I'll cry again. Charlotte: Yeah. That was really like healing for me to hear you say that mom. Sara: wow. Um, Charlotte: Yeah. It's like, I just feel, I feel empathy, like for, for you, like what you went through and like, as an adult now, and like having relationships with men and like just some of the pain that I've gone through and like just, I, yeah, yeah. I feel like really nice to like, hear you just admit that it was just horrifying and like how horrible it was for you. And yeah. And at the time, like I was a teenager and I was just angry and I was mad and I wanted it to be different. And yeah, I feel when you came, like when you had your awakening, You're reckoning for me, it was really, it was beautiful. It was, I feel like I was, I wasn't really there for it. Like totally, because by that time I just had to escape. I had to escape. Like I couldn't, it was really hard for me to be around this energy. And I was, I was, by that time, I feel like I was away at boarding school and I was just kind of trying to avoid. The part, like the death before the rebirth, like, I, I feel like I could feel everything you were feeling and it was just really heavy for me. And yeah. I mean like the, the awakening, I just remember like each time I would see you again, there would be like more like brightness in you and then like more. Life and more something. And like, I'd feel more safe with you and more open and more trusting and like slow and steady. I, I felt that it, that you, you like came back to yourself. Like you who you are. That's like not based on the conditioning that you grew up in and not based on the conditioning that pushed that you then went into further by living in this space and living the way that we did. Sara: Wow. Monica: I'm having my own moment here as I listened. Sara: How smart if you Charlotte to go to boarding school? Honestly, I, now that I think about, if I play it back, it's like, that's when it was. Pretty dark. And then I just, I just feel the need to say there were also spectacular moments in the dark time. For me, it was confusing, you know, with there were dark, dark times for me personally and internally in my soul, but there were amazing times too, that we had, you know, as little kids and in that life that we had and your dad, you know, phenomenal dad, We had some amazing times too. So I D I just want, I don't know why I felt like saying that. I, I think how brilliant of you Charlotte to know yourself at such a young age to go off to boarding school. So you could be free, not feel the darkness, that ma that was happening for me at home. Yeah. Charlotte: Yeah. And I think I have this like natural. I mean, I know I have this natural mother instinct when I first was starting to even date boys. I was choosing boys that needed mothers, mother upgrades, and I would mother them like hire me to be your mother and I'm great at it. And so I think also subconsciously I realized that. Mothering Andrew and Thomas. And that was not what I was supposed to do at age 14. Like that, wasn't my role. And I, I really, I did not consciously realize this, but when I was at boarding school, I, I was Charlotte and I was just Charlotte. I had nothing else to worry about except me what I wanted to do, my friends, my social life, like it really gave me the space to be focused on. My path. And a lot of people look at me like, how are you? So they asked me like, how are you so clear on your path and what you're doing and what you believe in and what you care about. And I feel like it's, because at that young age, I really had that time to really be with myself. Wow. Sara: God I'm crying again Charlotte: And really consider it. And I had the space to look and feel what I, what I cared about in this world beyond having to deal with like the sometimes drama that was at home. Monica: I love Sara or, well, both of you, I'm just like, wow. I, I love Charlotte that you used the term, you know, death and rebirth because it was a death. It was. And Sara, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but it's, I think you've said it before. It was like the ego death. No, it was the identity that you had been taught would keep you safe. And yet here you were doing all the things that you were. Grilled and socialized to do. And you were like the walking dead, like inside. And so allowing all of that to fall apart, as you continued to. Dive in, you know, to that underworld, that darkness that we talk about, which is also such fertile places for the seeds of rebirth, it's messy, it's uncomfortable and it's tragic and it's, and we're doing it as we're doing it. And it's never convenient because often we have children, right? Like when we sometimes figure this out, it's never at a convenient time. Right. And so I find that. Many women who are figuring this out kind of negotiate. Oh, I'll wait until the kids are grown until I live my life. Or, and it it's so fascinating. Like we, I think every woman has to make her individual choice as she starts kind of the unbecoming process. But what I love about what is happening here and what you both are expressing is that. Our children know they can see it. And it also was creating this hope in Charlotte. Like it was almost like Charlotte, I hear you saying like you weren't fooled. It was more like you, you as your mother started to break down and fall apart. While you had to save yourself, you also were able to see that your mother was starting to save herself and she was starting to come back with more light, more levity, more. Charlotte: Yeah, Sara: it's fascinating to, to really understand for all the moms listening, the impact that we have on our children, that we don't, that we think. I dunno, we, we, we sort of view ourselves as, oh, I'm a great mom. And, you know, I'm providing all these things for my children, but there's, it's more than that. Like, we have a huge impact on. Children, especially mothers to daughters, fathers to sons. I mean, I'm thinking, oh, I wonder what Andrew and Thomas would say in this conversation Charlotte's brothers, but it really, this is such a great conversation for me to really get the impact I had on Charlotte in her life, in those years, uh, and where we are and how far we've come. My gosh, how far we've come. But I think as mothers, we don't really, we don't see that. A lot of the time. So it's this powerful to feel that Monica: It's also this space that I, I kind of love calling the space where all of it gets to belong because when we're no longer trying to hold, hold it all together as women and we allow ourselves. To just stop wearing the masks of the good mother, the perfect wife, the perfect social light, the right lake, all of these ways that we're performative out in the world. And that again is. So dictated by this unconscious upbringing, this patriarchal culture where we perpetuate this over and over again. But that's what I mean, it's like, it also takes such courage and that same courage that you were mirroring in Charlotte also comes from you, Sara, you know, and it's like really recognizing that it. That the greatest gifts that we can give our children and especially our daughters is this gift of authenticity and of really revealing who we really are. As in individual women outside of this patriarchal disguise, the core of Sara is what you started getting to. And there's so much more, I think that we offer our children through that messy path, back to ourselves. That gives them permission, you know, and I know sometimes it can happen as a chicken and egg thing, because I don't know if this is true for you, Sara, but for me it was actually my daughter that gave me the courage. Like she became the catalyst because of what I realized in one sense was that I was going to. That, what I was doing was basically showing her how to betray herself over and over again in my daily life. Sara: Yeah. Yeah. Monica: And when I got that, I was like, oh, holy shit, wait a minute. I don't want to teach her how to hold this in place. Sara: Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. You know, I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but Charlotte. I think you're also such an incredible inspiration for your friends and your childhood friends. I mean, I don't know the relationship with all of them, but I feel like they're the ones that are like, how do you know your passion? And like, I'd love to, I'd love to. I think, I just think you're such an inspiration for women, your age, you know, women in your, you know, your generation who are stuck. Like, I was stuck in a much older age, but I feel like there's a whole generation I'd love. I'd love to hear like the there's a whole generation of, of women your age that are stuck. Don't have a clue what they want to be doing in life or doing things they can't stand. Like, I feel like you're a huge inspiration for this. And I don't know why I'm even saying that, but that's just showing up for me. Monica: Well, I think in our last conversation, Charlotte, one thing that you said that really stuck with me was this is really hard. Like it's really lonely sometimes too. And I wondered if you'd be interested in talking about that a little bit more, because I think what you meant was breaking out of. The compliance of, you know, of not obeying, you know, of forging your own path and kind of while you're in one way, very much experiencing all of the abundance and bounty and fulfillment that comes with that. I was also hearing that it can sometimes be lonely and hard. Charlotte: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, I was. I'm glad you brought this up because I was getting a download to talk about this as you were. As you were talking, mom and Monica. So yeah. First, I'll say that choosing your own path is walking the path less traveled. And also I'm making the path as I go. So I'm constantly stepping. Each step is more into the unknown of where I, what I don't know. And that's also how I learned, how I make magic happen is that I, I'm not afraid. Like I'm afraid of. But I know that, like, I use my fear as a guide. It's like my compass, I feel fear. And I go, oh, okay. This is the kind of fear that I need. That's going to support my evolution and my purpose. And this is the step I'm going to take in. And I just have really, I got, I learned that really. I feel, I learned that the boarding school thing was like the first time I learned that it's like, I took a really big step into a direction that I had no idea about, but I had a sense that there was something there for me and that's. That's how I guide myself in this. And, and I feel grateful because as I've taken steps in this direction, I start to meet other people that also are taking steps in this direction. And we're starting to come together and starting to build things together. And it feels like hopeful for me that like a different structure. Being created, like, for example, I'm living here and we want to build like a place where there's, you know, maybe 10 people live here, all with kids, with families and the kids can play with each other. And maybe I cook for one day for all the kids and then someone else cooks and like, we can all live on this land together. And we can, like I said, it takes a village to raise children. And so we can all like grow our own food and live in this way. That's like the natural way of living and not like white picket fence, everyone isolated in their houses, on their screens. And were really wanting to do something. Now it's like, almost like going back in time and, and what you were saying, mom is I'm. I started doing these in-person initiations with my friend, Jeff, who's this also amazing person who's taken a sharp left turn to live this this way. And the people that have showed up to these immersions are exactly those people. Mom, they're people in their, their late twenties, early thirties, or even forties that are just like, they feel, they just show up. The first word out of their mouth is fuck because they realized that the life that they've been building and creating, and the relationship that they have is like completely unfulfilling. And they just feel like empty inside of their hearts. And I really know that this is my purpose to help people to, to, um, to come back to their, their truth. And I, I noticed that, yeah, I am really inspiring for people like this because I'm like, I was just where they were not long ago. Like I really get it. I'm like not unfamiliar with it. And, and when I was teaching yoga in San Francisco, what was interesting about it is like, well, first I want to say like the patriarch. Yes. The system of like men dominating woman, but like the essence of it is more than that. It's like it values self-interest it values domination, submission, like hierarchy, power, greed. You know, these are like the values of, of the overarching structure. We all live in, like we, unless you really live off grid without connection to any of it. Like somehow it's all, we're still like stuck in it, you know, everywhere you look, you walk out the door, you see a billboard of some really thin girl in the bikini telling you to buy something that you don't need telling you to get Botox and do this and this, and like fix your appearance because that's what really matters. And these are all like symptoms of this culture that we live in. It's like impossible to get out of. So. As a teaching yoga, which like, yes, I'm a yoga teacher. This is what I care about. Like mind, body healing, you know, blah, blah, blah. And even in that, that, with that job and that desire that I had, I was living inside of a system that doesn't really value that. So I'm running around teaching five classes a day, completely stressed out of my brains, trying to make enough money. So I can pay two grand of rent in San Francisco and hang out with my friends that were going to Instagram that get paid seven times as much as I do. So there's like a general unvalued, like lack of value in. In what it means to actually live your purpose. It's like what I'm, what I'm starting to meet is a lot of people that are living their purpose and also like finding ways to sustain their, their, their living, to like somehow merge this old way of living into the new way of living and. It's all very complicated. Like I, I really, my friends asked me how do I do it? And I don't really know. My calling is to help people to get rid of the conditioning. Like, who are you behind your mask? Who are you behind? Who your parents told you to be? Who are you behind? What your partner wants you to be? Who are you behind? Like the job that you have? Like, what is this essence of you? And that's what, like, I feel really passionate about. Which is what I help my friends to like see in themselves and what I hope other people see in themselves, because I can see it. Like I can look at someone and I can see beyond like the whole mask that we've had to create to protect ourselves, to just survive the intensity of this culture. Sara: Wow. You're so smart. Monica: Yeah. Well, and I love, I love to Charlotte, how you just described this complicated time that we're in, because while we're creating the new world, we still live in the old world. Right. And I do believe even though. It's happening in these pockets all over the place. And we're not, we're not quite there yet. I do believe that it's happening. Do you both see that and feel that? Sara: Oh, I mean, I, I, you know, I work with women in my age range, fifties, sixties, we do a Sunday called remarkable women's journey, which is a very intimate 12 to 14 women, six months. And women that have made it, you know, have raised their kids. Their kids are Charlotte's age and around that age or older and some younger, and they've, they've. They've really made it in the patriarchal way, beautiful homes, you know, successful businesses and they want something else. They want to really sink into what's what's for them to do in the world. Like the whole ego thing, you know, let's take the ego out and, and I wanna, I want like a clean, I get the sense of people wanting a clean canvas, a blank canvas to reinvent, recreate. What is it for me to do now go live in Costa Rica like Charlotte's doing or Portugal, or, you know, people are, are really, I think that the shakeup of the, of the world with COVID and the war and Ukraine, and like all these really intense. Chaotic things happening in the world has people really stop and say, wait a minute, who, what do I want to be? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What kind of mom do I want to be? Who do I want to be in my life right now? So I see it in a much older generation and a little different way, but I see people desperate to, to want this kind of clean blank canvas. To explore and even at any age at my age. So yeah, that's what I would say. Monica: And Charlotte, I mean, I, what I'm hearing is that you're seeing it sometimes you're seeing it through the contrast of your age group. Charlotte: Yeah. Yeah. I'm seeing, I mean, I live in the world of these people that are really on like what we, what we S and like the. teach. And I practice is like that are on the edge of modern culture. There's where I'm part of the community that are building bridges from modern culture to the next culture. We call it next culture. It's just, we don't know what it is yet, but it's not what it is now, you know? And so I'm, I'm on like the bridge building team where I'm starting to build a new places, be a part of the meet, the people that are doing it, and also being a bridge for people to come over. Come on, jump on the ship. We're trying something different over here. Monica: And Charlotte, while we're still kind of on that subject, do you have any resources that were super helpful to you as you were. Kind of learning about this next culture. Charlotte: Yeah. That's a great question. I would say my first instinct is to say, if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, I want to, I want to do it. I would just, there's something called possibility management, which is this amazing line of work. And they do these things called expand the boxes. And this is like a three day kind of intense transformation where it's really about. Helping people to understand that shit, they got stuck in this cold, in this modern culture and that they want to move into next culture and how, how they can do that. Sara: Wow. Monica: I love that. Charlotte: Um, so that would be somewhere I would say to start and. And honestly, a lot of what I'm telling you and what I've learned is just from my experience, like, I don't have a book to say, read this book. And it's just for me, like having gone out into the world, met people and had experiences like for me, plant medicine has been very powerful and my yoga practice has been very powerful in the trainings and the transmissions and the awakening. My feminine sexual energy has been a very powerful, like the portal for this new way of living. I think what happened is I just started from the inside living in a different way. And then my outside world started to change because suddenly I was in places that like didn't match what was happening for me on the inside. Monica: Yeah. Charlotte: So I just started to ask like, Hey, like go, I knew there was like something unique going on in Costa Rica. And a lot of people say, Costa Rica is. The beginning of the new earth building. And so there's like all these really cool projects going on there that you could go volunteer at or go live at and yeah, you can get your hands dirty. And so that's kind of how, how I got this download basically. Monica: Yeah. Sara anything come up for you? Sara: Well, you know, there's lots of things that the Soul of Money Institute when we, we do these amazing, this remarkable women's journey, which is, uh, you know, invitational only kind of a thing, very special six month program. We're filled for 2022, but there's just lots of opportunities through the soul money, through working with myself. And of course, Lynn twist for women in my age range ish, too, who want to really look and see who are they in the world and who can they be in the world? Right. I don't know, there's so many great programs. I love what you're saying. Charlotte embodiment is so important and, and there's so many ways to, to tackle that or to kind of explore that. And there's so many opportunities to do that in the world out there. And now with online, you can do it online or in person. So we have great things at the Soul of Money Institute, but also there's just so many things outside of. To continue to embody whatever it is that you're up to, which has Charlotte said, she embodied it. And then her world changed, you know, her world's like matched up to that, her embodiment and she worked hard to get to there. I mean, she works her tail off this young woman and she was. Really hard to keep growing, to keep looking, to keep seeing, like, how can I get my message out to more people? How can I get my programs out to more people? I mean, she's just like a, such a great example of someone who is just not going to let go of her passion and her purpose in life, and she's going to make it work for her. Monica: Well, in what I see in both of you, which is so stunningly beautiful and honestly deeply inspiring is that. You both dared to reinhabiting yourselves, maybe in your case, Charlotte, you dared to never betray yourself. And in Sara's case, what I hear Sara is that you came back to yourself. Yeah, that created a bridge between the two of you, but what you have in common, which is so many things, but where I see this common theme is this embodiment theme that so many women were so disconnected from our truth and from our emotions and from our sexuality and from our intuition. And so it's like returning home to ourselves, going within ourselves is the path back to ourselves and also the path back to each other. Sara: That's so true. And I did, you know, get pretty steeped in the work of Mama Gina, inside of all this, which. Bursted me open burst me open or exploded. I don't know. Just said it. It had a big impact on a part of my sensuality sexuality that was shut down for 10 years. So that was also a big part of my growth. And that can happen at any age. I mean, I'm 61, so it can happen to make it happen at any age, but that's also another way of embodying and bringing back what is rightfully ours, our radiance, our sexuality, our sensuality, our intimacy. Like woof, there's nothing more juicy than that to bring into whatever work you're doing. So that's also been a big thing for me at this later part of my life or middle part of my life. Monica: Right. Like w in Sara and what I know about you, which is so great is that you are so playful and you are so oriented in that pleasure and humor. And you bring that into everything that you do and that it's never too late. I mean, we've also, like, I think you're just such a shining example as well of at 61 years old. Right. And just being like unapologetically, radiant and sensual and beautiful. And like, I love watching you still just. Just being in your presence recently and seeing just how radiant and playful you are in the world. It's like, oh my God, you know, just it's so refreshing. And you know, here's to just inspiring everyone, we meet in that way to kind of. Go through this unbecoming process, because I think what we're, we're all pointing to those that have been through and continue to go through the continual death and rebirth process because let's face it. It doesn't just happen once it happens multiple times is that what's on the other side of it. Every time is so much more fulfilling and life giving and inspiring. So I know that we're almost at time here. And I've just cherished this conversation and I'm like, darn, because I feel like we have so much more to explore. So I would love to have you both back on at some point, but I wanted to just offer, you know, that if there's any, any final words that you want to share with our audience or anything that you want to say about just the mother daughter, you know, like. Remembering the true mother daughter relationship, I guess, is what I'd say. Is there anything that you want to leave our listeners with? Sara: Uh, let's see. I miss Charlotte. I haven't seen her a long time. So for me, this is very emotional and moving and, um, I G I guess any, let's see, ah, final remarks are, are, are just to stay open. To listen to your children, even though they're adult, even if you have adult children, get to know them in a new way and a experienced them in exactly, you know, really honor who they are and who they want to be instead of bringing in your own judgment and assumptions and ego. And it's such a beautiful place to be with you, Charlotte, in relationship with you. And even though I don't get to see you because you're in Portugal and I'm in San Francisco. I think if you all the time and you're with me all the time, so, and thank you, Monica for I'd totally want to come back Charlotte, Sara, two point. So yeah, I really appreciate this. I learned a lot about my daughter, so this has been powerful for me. Monica: Yeah, I would love to do a whole series like this, honestly. So you guys have inspired the hell out of me today. Thank you. And Charlotte, any, anything you want to say? Charlotte: Yeah, this has been really special and really like re inspiring to me and my work and this path that I've chosen. It's sometimes like really like questioning it because of the challenges. I, I really feel that the strength that I have in that. I feel that I've also learned from my mom and just to keep going. Um, and I wanted to add one more thing, which I wanted to say at the last part, which is that I I'm offering an in-person immersion in Costa Rica. It's called Awaken Thy Soul. And it's, uh, it's a seven day experience and it's really powerful. And I do it with my amazing friend. And co-creator his name is Jeff. I want to invite anyone who's listening to come and join us and have an experience of what it's like to live the new earth. And we'll take you into our family and show you a different, a new way. And I want to invite you all to that. And thank you so much, Monica. This was really special and I really. Yeah, I feel really connected to you and mom, I feel really connected to you and I, I really enjoyed this and I, I feel, I feel grateful. So thank you. Monica: Um, yeah. Thank you. Gosh, my day, my weekend, I'm going to carry. Both with me, this has just been deeply, deeply inspiring. And I can't wait to share it with our audience. And just to have you both back, because there's so much more here and I feel like we just scratched the surface, but I'm deeply, just deeply grateful as well, and just really feel the love and the tenderness that's here with us. So, thank you. Thank you. And for our listeners, I'll be sure to put. The various links in the show notes of everything that we mentioned here today, including Bethany Webster's work, including Sara vetters work, including Charlotte better's work. And Charlotte had shared. The resource earlier, and I'll be sure to also put that in the show notes. And until next time more to be revealed, we hope you enjoyed this episode. For more information, please visit us@jointherevelation.com and be sure to download our free gift subscribed to our mailing list or leave us a review on iTunes. We thank you for your generous listening and as always more to be revealed.