72 Darla LeDoux

INTRO: Now there are a lot of, you know, different ways we can talk about energy and things we can learn about it, but I. Really simplified this down to default has to do with all of the rules we've created for ourselves to survive in life. So it's based on experiences in the past and trying to control the future.
And this default energy usually shows up as resistance or attracting experiences that maybe make us feel comfortable and safe, but not alive or aligned sourced energy. Ha is created in the present moment from deep within our soul. It's like, this is how I long to express. This is who I truly am. This is what feels alive for me right now. And in order to be in sourced energy, we have to let go of trying to control the future by behaving the way we did in the past. And so this concept is really shifting from default to sourced energy with your clients.

Monica: [00:00:00] Welcome to the revelation project podcast. I'm Monica Rogers, and this podcast is intended to disrupt the trance of unworthiness and to guide women, to remember and reveal the truth of who we are. We say that life is a revelation project and what gets revealed gets healed.

Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of the revelation project podcast. Today. I'm with Darla LeDoux. Who's a transformational business coach, recovering engineer, author of shift, the field and founder of Sourced. Sourced helps service based entrepreneurs. Coaches consultants, creatives, healers, and therapists to confidently market sell and deliver deep transformation while being guided by their uniquely sourced mission.

After following the formulas of other experts for years, all, while downplaying her unique magic Darla committed to doing business differently, she reclaimed her inner knowing. Sourced connection and created the soul led business that feels divinely right without suffering or struggle. She envisions a world in which all people access and live by their inner knowing, making it valid, valued, and visible in their most magical work.
Hello, Darla.

Darla: [00:01:48] Hi, Monica. I'm so excited to be here.

Monica: [00:01:51] I'm so excited to have you. And ah, I found myself actually breathing a little bit easier in this piece about created the soul led business that feels divinely right without suffering or struggle. It's just like whenever I'm like, Oh no suffering, no struggle. Oh, right. That's a choice in some, in some cases, right? Like there's actually some choice there.

Darla: [00:02:17] There is some choice there. And you know, my, when I started my company, I had this intuitive guidance that led me to do this work. And I feel like I, I got one opportunity and the next and the next to see this work in action, starting back in my corporate career.And then I hired a coach who gave me, I learned so much so love her. And also she gave me so much to do. And a lot of it was not what I. Felt drawn to do. And so I did both. I followed my heart secretly and I also did all the things because I was the good student and I ended up working really hard and in quite a lot of struggle.
So I come by that honestly.

Monica: [00:03:08] Well, I was, I was just actually writing a post about, you know, when we're not in alignment, it actually really is a struggle and it's. Hard to recognize that because it's a practice of noticing where we're feeling the struggle and then knowing, or having the tools to be able to realign.

Darla: [00:03:32] Yes.

Monica: [00:03:32] And then I also love this concept of shifting the field. So say more, please.

Darla: [00:03:39] Well, you know, before we started recording, we were chatting about writing a book and shift the field is, is the title of my new book. And Monica, as I was sharing, I didn't know the title going into it. I had a concept and I, I knew what it was about, but by the end, it revealed to me that, that this really is this concept shift the field. So the entire book is a process. That coaches, consultants, creatives, and healers can use to support their clients to shift their energy first before like. The whole rest of your agreement. And what I mean by that is we, there's two types of energy. There's default energy, and then there's sourced energy.
Now there are a lot of, you know, different ways we can talk about energy and things we can can learn about it, but I. Really simplified this down to default has to do with all of the rules we've created for ourselves to survive in life. So it's based on experiences in the past and trying to control the future.
And this default energy usually shows up as resistance or attracting experiences that maybe make us feel comfortable and safe, but not alive or aligned sourced energy. Ha is created in the present moment from deep within our soul. It's like, this is how I long to express. This is who I truly am. This is what feels alive for me right now. And in order to be in sourced energy, we have to let go of trying to control the future by behaving the way we did in the past. And so this concept is really shifting from default to sourced energy with your clients. At the start and having that actually then the integration of this new energy be the focus of the rest of your work.
So, you know, I was just recording a book trailer with my videographer and he was saying how, you know, this is great. And you know, it doesn't yeah. Really applied to me

Monica: [00:05:51] And you're like, Oh, contraire Mo Freire. Yes.

Darla: [00:05:57] I said, um, I'm just curious, have you ever had a pain in the ass client? The one that, you know, they, they really want you to create something magnificent, but they're terrified to really show up and get visible. He's like, yeah. But then this is for you because if you can help someone shift their energy first, they're going to be so all in on the outcome.

But when someone's in default, And I'm I'm, you know, thinking of video people afraid of being seen. I know I've been there. Me too. Yeah. They're going to be challenging to work with. Oh, maybe this is my story. No, maybe this is my story. So if we can shift the energy first and allow them to create from their soul, they're going to show up totally differently.

Monica: [00:06:42] I love that. I love that. And so I'm making up that in order for. In order for the client to actually do so they, I am imagining would have to notice what the default energy feels like.

Darla: [00:07:01] Yes, yes. And they may not. know going into it. So we, my first book was all about retreat. So I've hosted almost a hundred retreats in my time.
And retreats are just a really great way to think about transformation because we come in one energy and we leave in another energy. They may not know what their default is going in. When they make that decision to register, they just know, you know, I call it. Like life is feeling sticky. A lot of people say stock, I don't use the word stuck a whole lot, but like life is feeling sticky, right?

There's that? And we're at a place in our evolution as society, I believe where people know that they're not really stuck. There's just something hidden from their view. So they may not know the default. They may not know, you know? Oh, I'm showing up as, I don't know. Scared or resistant or, or no at all or, or whatever it may be.
They're probably not aware of that. Cause if they were, they would have shifted it already.

Monica: [00:08:08] Right.

Darla: [00:08:09] But they are aware that there's something there. And so as I call us sourced leaders as practitioners, our job then is to help. Reveal. And so I'm in the right place on your podcast.

Monica: [00:08:25] I love it. I love all the language you're using. I'm like, aha. Aha. Say more. Yeah.

Darla: [00:08:31] Yes. Yes. So our job is to help reveal what's hidden from their view, right? Reveal that truth that, that we haven't seen. And, and we all have these things, right. And that's the fun. And the joy of life is to continue to reveal more of who we are as a, as a leader and a practitioner. If you really understand how this works within your client, you can intentionally design your business model. To support the transformation. Yes. So as an example, in, in retreat on day one, my favorite thing to do is to create, um, an experiential truth revealer where it's some, and I've done so many different things. Right. But there's some experience where people get to catch themselves in the act. Yeah. And start to see what's been hidden from their view. And

Monica: [00:09:22] Usually I'm going to make up that that is an exercise that gets them right out of their comfort zone so that they can see it.

Darla: [00:09:30] Yes, most often it is because we are filled like our default energy is strong. Right. And so we are filled with survival mechanisms. Like when I go to a networking event, this is the way I handle it. I'm find one person or I stand on the side or I tell the jokes, or we all have our ways of being

Monica: [00:09:52] Of coping

Darla: [00:09:53] That will allow us to get a predictable result. Yeah. So yeah, a lot of times it's out of the comfort zone or even just something that's a surprise that they haven't had time to consciously plan a strategy for.

Monica: [00:10:08] It's all of that planning. I think that we do ahead of time. And sometimes that's even very unconscious.

Darla: [00:10:15] Exactly. We're, we're constantly thinking about, well, if I wear this, they'll think this, or, and so yeah, that element of surprise is so beautiful. But also if you, if someone listening, doesn't host retreats in your client, relationships, partnering with source, right.

Just having this conscious awareness that sources working in your client's life. Something's going to show up in their life that will serve a similar result. So a lot of times, Monica, I don't know your experience with this, but I've seen this a lot over the years and I've experienced it myself. A client will make a decision.
Okay, I'm going to get coaching support because I want to reach this certain goal. And then immediately the thing is going to show up in their life. That is their objection.

Monica: [00:11:02] Right.

Darla: [00:11:03] And so, you know, there's that concept of holding the sale. Well holding the sale is that, you know, sounds terrible. But really what it is, is celebrating that this client is having resistance show up because that's how we can see how they handle it.

Monica: [00:11:20] I love so much everything that you're saying. And it's, it's so true that, that that is the law of the universe. It's that? It's also trusting because there's a lot here in what you're saying and what it's bringing up for me is that we used to actually do a workshop before the pandemic that was based in.

A photography reveal. It was called reveal you. I love it. And the idea was that yeah. And it's very Skiting. Right? Scary, exciting. Because because women would, would enroll themselves and then immediately wonder if they had just lost the plot. Meaning like, why did I just do this? Cause all their fears come up because.
Yeah, when they sign up, we say that when you sign up for it is when your revelation project begins. Okay. And, and it's like, if we dare to live, like if we dare to kind of step on the skinny branches of life, knowing and trusting that they're going to hold us, but. You know, they're not a sturdy, you know, thick, predictable, safe, comfortable branch. 

It's more like the skinny branch you're going to feel it, that kind of vitality that comes up in us when we're drawn towards something that has us feel something that is different from the way that we kind of always operate. And that's that environment that I call the revelation zone. And so obviously there's a lot of synergy here, but in order to do the photography project, You know, it was about being seen, but it was also about relinquishing control.
And so we might have had a woman who signed up and we have her prepare her entire, you know, like you can bring this and you can bring that. And here's how it's going to go. And here's your interview. But when she shows up. And let's say she is all about like her outfits and she's been hyper-focused on that. We may choose to not use anything of what she's brought.

And it seems like a cruel joke, but it's, it's this idea of like, what's going to happen, you know, can you be with this? Can you be in this space? And in the workshops, you know, there was no mirror. Our participants were not allowed to see their images.

Darla: [00:13:48] Wow.

Monica: [00:13:49] And they were public to social media at the same time that the world saw them. We chose like 12 to 15 images to reveal her. And what was beautiful about it was this process that happens in the meantime and getting to be with all of the fears that come up in befriending. Of course, all of those. Fears and looking at all of that resistance and all of that unworthiness that shows

Darla: [00:14:13] Monica. I love this so much. First of all, I just really want to acknowledge the courage it took for you to create that experience for people, because you were really on the skinny branches, trusting yourself that it's all going to work out. And I can't, I can just imagine the level of default energy. Right. That would show up with clients. So I really honor you for that. And I just want to repeat what you said when you sign up your revelation project begins. I love that so much. And that's, that's exactly in alignment with what I'm saying, which is so there's, there's three stages in what I call the anatomy of a transformation, which is the heart of this book.

Stage one is commitment. Commitment is when you commit to moving through whatever it takes to, you know, commit to commit to going through the process, to get a different result, even though you don't know what will be revealed. Right. Yeah. That's commitment. And that generally happens, you know, in our world through marketing and sales, where people get committed.

And so you're saying, okay, you, you signed up, you're committed. The next step. This middle stage is called the sourced experience and it has three stages release receive rise and release is about releasing control. Or releasing the perception of control surrendering to the process. So as soon as someone's committed, the universe is going to help them surrender.

And then the, that middle stage, the receive is all about receiving truth or in your words, the revelation. Right? So exactly what you're saying is when they commit they're on this ride of this process, where they will see what they haven't seen. About, what's been keeping them stuck and about how freaking amazing they are that they don't realize, or haven't owned I now. So it's just beautiful what you're saying.

Monica: [00:16:24] Well, and I, and I find myself getting chills because of course you're languaging it differently and you've created, you know, this beautiful process. Around it. And this whole idea of this anatomy of the transformation, because there's something inherently or intuitively that I was tuned into and doing.
And actually it was very spirit led for me. It was very guided. And in fact, I'm sure you can appreciate this, but the day that a woman would show up for her project, we considered it. Anything that showed up in the space as exactly what was supposed to be there. So if she had her car breakdown on the way yeah.

And trusting again, like you said, that we would always say when we did a circle, because we would all do a meditation before we did the actual workshop itself and we would make space for her guides, our guide to really. Co-create whatever the experience needed to be. And of course, we didn't really talk about that piece because depending on who the woman was and what her beliefs, that was, it just wasn't necessary to do that.

It was just us a container that we held as her team. And it was always magical. Always, I mean, not out of the almost hundred women that we photographed over the course of eight years, did we ever have, but one, one person who just couldn't go forward with it. And we honored that, that it wasn't her time, but I love that you actually documented and created a process that allows coaches or teams.

Like what we were doing to actually have an anatomy for it. Yes. Because unless you're kind of really tuned in, I think to that kind of energy. It does take practice to kind of keep remembering how to do it in the beginning.

Darla: [00:18:27] Right? Right. Well, because then we make it about us.

Monica: [00:18:30] Yes.

Darla: [00:18:31] That they think they made a mistake or hiring us or what we're doing, isn't working if something goes wrong, but that is all part of the sourced experience. Everything in the container is sourced. And it's all conspiring for us to see our truth.

Monica: [00:18:52] It's I love what you just said. Oh my gosh. There it's all conspiring for us to see it. I love because what you're pointing to is this trust in life that there's this deep trust that you hold about the way life works.

Darla: [00:19:10] Yes.

Monica: [00:19:11] Yeah. Okay. So where.

Darla: [00:19:14] Well, and it's like, I'm not saying everyone needs to have that point of view, but I am saying that it really works. Yes. The alternative is, is not trusting life. And you know, how does that feel in your body? Not great.

Monica: [00:19:29] Well, well, and there's, there's back to the noticing and the awareness, because I often talk about, as it relates to women that.
And I, and I'll speak for myself if I go back to before the revelation project created. And one of the reasons I created the revelation project was because I was that woman that I'm about to talk about who was actually disembodied up in her head all the time, always in survival mode, overwhelmed, anxious.
There was a lot of probably victim stuff going on, but I didn't really probably recognize it as that, you know, like it, and I think like that can feel offensive when we hear it. Like I'm not a victim. Right. But there was a way that I just was experiencing life in such a like, life is so hard way. All the time.

And when you really get to the essence of that energy, there's kind of life is happening to me versus for me. Yes. So I just really go back to this noticing place. And you had pointed it before, like how does that feel? And I remembered our lead people when I started first working with a few healers to help me really shift out of this place.
That I did not have. I it's like, I couldn't answer that question. People were like, how do you feel right now? Because the answer honestly was always numb. I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything for the longest time. Do you hear that ever?

Darla: [00:21:07] Well, girl, first of all, I've experienced it.

Monica: [00:21:10] Okay.

Darla: [00:21:10] I became an engineer. And so what's great about being an engineer is data makes decisions for you. You don't have to feel anything. Right. And, and the truth is when I was in that career, I was constantly battling my intuitive sense versus like where the facts were were pointing us. But that's another story. But as a young kid, I experienced a lot of things that made me pop out of my body and. In this. Yeah. Remember I told you how this book became something different than I thought it would be. And one of the things that is my gift as an engineer is, is seeing structure and helping create structure for people who maybe it's harder to see the structure. So I wrote the structure here, but what the structure really allows is for us to be more in what I call our magic or our intuitive gift.

So. As a kid or, well, now today, and as a kid, also a part of how my intuition works is through my body. It's very much sensation based and growing up that was too much to be with both from some abuse that I experienced and from just this intuitive knowing of truth and watching people behave differently and.
Experiencing all of the emotions and sensations that the people around me were experiencing. My mom ended up leaving my dad because he beat her. So all of that feeling in my body as a, as a young child, I just popped up in my head. I just ignored it. I was overweight as a kid. I ate to suppress my feelings.
I did anything I could to not be present in my body. So it's been. Very much an unlearning and healing and reintegrating and claiming, uh, that this is how I operate and it hasn't been easy. And so, yes, and I, and as a culture, we are in our head. You know, I, I think back to my engineering career and I got feedback from my boss, even while I was getting promoted, I got this feedback that said your soft skills are great Darla, but you might want to tone them down a bit because they're only going to get you so far here.

Monica: [00:23:38] Yeah, there it is. Right. Tone it down. Don't. Oh, God. I mean, I could just go on and on, but pointing back to the fact that the world or what we call the training ground or the social conditioning, the inculturation, whatever you want to call it is it's that surface level world where we've been actually conditioned, especially as women to not go.

To not access our source of power. It's the opposite of what we've been taught is, and I call it kind of the messy places. I, I call it saying, learning for women to learn, to say yes to the mess because our intuition. Is considered kind of that messy place for our society in a patriarchal culture, our emotions, messy, our sexuality, messy, the body messy.

Right? All of these messy places, creativity, messy. Like we have this kind of, we have this really, I think, upside down understanding of what it is to be. A human being or a spiritual being in a human form in this particular world. And I. You know, part of the, you called it unlearning. And, and I love that because I talk about this process of unbecoming and how important it is for women, especially. And I just loved that play on words, because we're taught where that language is even used. Like that's unbecoming for a lady, right? So it's like, Great. Perfect. I'm yes.

Darla: [00:25:21] Why? Yes it is.

Monica: [00:25:22] Yes. Thank you. Thank you. It's true. Right. And, and more of that, please, you know, bring it and disrupting that trance of unworthiness because that's where the gold is.That's where the magic as you call it is that's where it exists. And that's that place of revelation.

Darla: [00:25:40] Yes for so many of us as women, just as I've been developing this, this magic work and watching people claim their magic. And I'm talking. And I mean, I, for me to like claiming this, the way that I know things in my body has been a process to, to trust and to empower that and rely on it.

And I've been watching all of these women claim the way their magic works, and most of us have never had a space to really do that. Uh, for me in my business journey, it's been all about learning marketing and you know, what goes into three videos and what's makes a good subject line. And all of these things that

Monica: [00:26:33] The formula

Darla: [00:26:35] you know, are, are great to know, but mostly. In my journey of, of participating in that kind of work, nobody ever asks people, are you good at what you do? And nobody ever says, Whoa, I I'm a nervous that if I sell this promise of transformation, which we, you know, we can learn how to write about, can I deliver it? Can I really deliver it? And B it's not because the skill isn't there it's because the trust isn't there.

Monica: [00:27:13] Right. And then there's that other element that I always forget, you know, because being a hyper responsible and, you know, always wanting to over-deliver. Type of person, which I think so many of us are, there's also, you know, what the client brings and trusting that part of that experience they actually bring yes, that there's, that co-created transformation.

And that for us as coaches to remember as well, that they're the ones ultimately that have to have their skin in the game in order to really. We're here. We're here to hold this space. We're here to guide. We're here to champion. We're here to ask the powerful questions and help with the structure and really it's about them having 

the revelations that continually lead them.
To start doing what you're talking about, trusting themselves, and reinhabiting their bodies and reorienting when they get out of alignment and yes, and that becomes a practice and that doesn't necessarily happen overnight. But once you get the flavor for it, once you taste it, it's ah, there's, it's like soul food. It's like, you never want to go back right. To Melba toast.

Darla: [00:28:38] Well, because it's, yeah, it's no longer on you to be hyper responsible because you can lean into source and you can trust that source has your back.

Monica: [00:28:47] Yes. Yes.

Darla: [00:28:49] And, and they're back and they're back, right? It's like the Holy Trinity, you the client and source. Uh, yes. And so, you know, you're only responsible then for one third, which kind of lightens the load a bit, but the other thing. That helps us to understand this is this structure of, you know, the client needs to be committed first. So I like to use this example of, and committed to their transformation.

And so this is all about energy. So if they're coming from this place of. Monica, please fix me. I'm going to do this photo shoot. Just fix me, like show me what's wrong. It's on you prove to me that you can fix me, which like, let's be honest. Some coaching relationships come from that space. You know, if you use the words, trance of unworthiness.So if we're in a trance of unworthiness, then we might be coming from that place. But if someone's really committed to their transformation, Then they are taking responsibility for it. So I'd like to use this example if you've ever had the friend that keeps dating the wrong people.

Monica: [00:30:05] No, I don't know what you're talking about.

Darla: [00:30:08] And I like to say, I know I've been that friend,

Monica: [00:30:12] me too

Darla: [00:30:13] keeps dating the wrong people and. You can see it and you can see the pattern there. Like, I don't know why this is happening and you just, well, this is why, well giving that truth when someone's not actually committed to transforming it, we all know how that goes.

Monica: [00:30:31] We all know how that goes.

Darla: [00:30:33] Yup. Yes. So if we take it out of the client relationship and just look at it, In that way, it's not helpful. Right. And you can watch your friends struggle for years and decades. And unless, you know, you're in that position where you're their transformational guide, they're not probably going to receive it.

And so same with clients, right? How do you get them in that place of commitment to receiving the truth? And if you're, you know, if they're not there's tools that I write about too, for it, like how to help clarify commitment, because if they're not, it doesn't mean that you're failing. It just means you got to take them back to their commitment.

Monica: [00:31:17] Exactly. It's like, let's revisit our agreement and like what you committed to, and that doing that is kind of resetting or redesigning. Or reinstating that agreement once again. And, and it's also okay. I think for our clients to realize that they're not ready yet. Yeah. And to have that be okay.

Darla: [00:31:39] And that's a positive outcome.

Monica: [00:31:41] It is

Darla: [00:31:42] For them to say, Oh, okay. Here's what I see is an order for me to transform. I need to let go of whatever it may be. And I don't want to, then that becomes an empowered choice.

Monica: [00:31:56] Yeah, it's really interesting because I've worked with women in the past who have, you know, started going down the road, thinking that, you know, what they wanted coaching around was kind of successfully uncoupling only to realize that they actually aren't ready.

The deeper we got the more uncomfortable and it just became like, I have to pause here kind of thing. And that gets to be okay. And, you know, it's like good noticing, and this is perfect. Just the way it is and trusting again that this is part of their process. And also trusting as a coach that they know best for that.
In that case, there are cases where. If what gets revealed actually is a deeper answer about actually I'm not ready that that's, yes. That's sometimes better for us as coaches because we, we want that full permission, I think with them to really bring them through and guide them through powerfully. And if you've got a client that really is, is just. In, in that kind of fear and can't let that go. That's not necessarily a reflection on us coaches and I think you're right.

Darla: [00:33:03] Yeah. It's such a great example. And it makes me think of a client that I've been working with, that her stories in my book. So I have permission to share who really she's, she's married and she fell for someone else. And so. That was, you know, what she revealed to me as her coach and she wanted to figure out what to do about it. And she really wasn't clear, but her, you know, I would say probably her initial instinct is I have to end my marriage. And for me as the coach and for anyone who's in this holding space, first of all, we have to come with complete non-judgment.So we have to heal all of our own stuff. Right. You know, if you've ever been cheated on like, heal that because it'll get in the way of you holding space

Monica: [00:33:54] that will be a trigger. Yes.

Darla: [00:33:56] But I am never looking or even trying to know what the truth is at this point. So when someone is sharing this, I don't need to know.
I don't need to know if the husband's a good fit. If the new person's a good fit, like I don't need to figure any of that out. What I want to focus on is what is the pattern that created this situation? So. In the experience that she's having of having a family and having a love interest, and being in that conflict.

And where is that conflict in her body? Where is that energy pattern in her body? And where did that energy pattern first develop? Because even if the situation seems pressing, it's not actually about this situation, it's about a repeated energy pattern based on some default from the past. Right. And so until we can shift the field and have her becoming from a soul aligned energy, she's not going to know the right decision.

Because we can't right. We can't access it when we're all up in our head, trying to figure it out logically with any important decision, we can argue either side. Otherwise we would've been clear, right. We wouldn't be struggling with it.

Monica: [00:35:13] Right? Like the, the answer's actually not in your head.

Darla: [00:35:17] It's not in your head and it's not going to feel safe and it's not going to feel in control.
And that doesn't mean that the answer is some, you know, wild out of control thing. But within our, you know, our default energy patterns that keep us safe, we won't find the answer there. So the answer is outside of it, which is going to feel out of control. So for her, we had to look back at what she experienced growing up and this place where. I'll use your word, that her revelation, there was a time early in her life where she had a revelation that she shared with her parents and it was denied. It was denied. And she held it to herself for a very long time before sharing it because she thought it would create so much drama and it ended up like they just swept it under the rug. And so fast forward to her, her new situation, it was the exact same feeling. I'm either going to blow up my life or it's just going to get swept under the rug. Um, and either way doesn't feel good. So now I'm stuck. Only she wasn't dealing with the same people as, before those were, that was just an, a projection.

Monica: [00:36:37] Yeah. So can we talk about the outcome? Can we, can we talk about how that worked out? Do you think that's a good place to go?

Darla: [00:36:45] Well, I didn't write about that part. Know what I will say. What I will say is that what she's learned is how to express her truth, um, and allow people to respond to how they respond.

Monica: [00:37:02] Right. Right. How about that?

Darla: [00:37:04] Yes. And to not make it mean anything, or try to control. The situation by holding in her truth and there's been actually really miraculous results. They're still in process. So really exciting results.

Monica: [00:37:23] So great. Yeah, because, and I would assert that those are always miraculous results when we don't abandon our truth anymore.
When we simply stand there and say, what's true for us and allow the rest of the world to show up the way that they need to. In the face of that truth, that that's not actually about us. And you had talked before about reclaiming, right? Like I think part of that work of healing is about reclaiming all of those places that we abandoned ourself along the way where we abandoned our truth in order to belong in order to beloved in order to keep the peace.

Darla: [00:38:02] Yes. And it's like, monica, it might seem, you know, easier obvious just to say. Tell the truth, but when someone has a past experience, that's so emotionally intense like that, it feels like death just to tell the truth

Monica: [00:38:21] It feels like death. Yeah. There's no minimizing that because, I mean, I think that that's where that quote comes from, you know, even if my voice shakes and usually my whole body is actually shaking when I'm telling a big truth, you know, that's really scary is it's not, it's not necessarily easy.
But it's magic. So there's, there's that it's not easy, but it is magic because there's something just about surrendering or allowing that to just be, be what it is. Yes. So I'm so first of all, I'm so I'm so pissed to be honest, because I'm like, Oh, I wish this was longer. Yeah, because it's just been such a rich conversation.
But before we, before we go, I want to ask you, you talk about this receiving place and, you know, earlier you were saying that the most fun part of the anatomy of this work is in receiving truth. So while we're on that subject, can you talk more about that? Or did, did we kind of just cover it.

Darla: [00:39:31] Yeah, I think we did cover it though. I will. What's coming up to add is this idea of our, how our intuition helps and serves our clients and this space of receiving truth, which is like right in the middle here. That's where we want our intuitive magic to show up. That's where it's like, when you're sensing. Or you're seeing, I'm guessing Monica, this would happen with your photo shoots.

If you're seeing someone not be embodied or you're seeing someone you intuitively see that they are. Their true self expresses in one way, but their default self expresses in another way. And you're seeing this truth, like that's the place where you share it.

Monica: [00:40:22] Exactly. And that, that is exactly what we would do. I would say, where did you just go? Right? Where did you just go? Yeah. What just happened that you just left?

Darla: [00:40:31] Yes

Monica: [00:40:32] Because they could be standing right there in front of me, but they're not there. Yes. So what happened? What created the trigger and then she might, that becomes like this surprise place for her where she's like, Oh my God, like now I see what you're talking about.
I did just go somewhere else. I did just, you know, when you said to take off the shawl, I immediately started getting self-conscious about my arms. Or whatever the thing was. And it's like, tell me more about your arms and going deeper into that place with witness and witnessing and compassion without fixing it, but about allowing her to reveal it in a way that she can be with it in a true way is so powerful. Yes. Yes. Oh, I love that and get that it. Yeah. And get that it doesn't diminish her or that there's nothing to fix actually.

Darla: [00:41:25] Yes. Yes. So receiving truth, right? Just the concept of receiving means we're not fixing, we're not fixing. It just is. And in the book I talk about, you know, there's two truths, there's this small T truth, which is based on the lie.

So this person had some lie about her body. Growing up. And then there's the capital T truth of what is so about her body. And in that process, when you're asking, where did you just go, you're starting to get at and bring that truth forward. And then the step after receive as rise, and this is rising in a whole new energy.
And in order to create this new energy, right, which is the whole point of shifting the field as you leave in a different energy space in order to do that, we need to validate the truth. And so when you're talking about just bringing presence to it, without trying to fix it, that is validation. It's like saying I use words like this a lot, you know, it makes perfect sense.

Given what you experienced that you're feeling this way or, wow. Yeah. That reaction. Makes so much sense. That's totally valid. And we're then creating when we validate something, it kind of disappears from the space. And now we've got a clean space to create from.

Monica: [00:42:52] Yeah. I mean, it's, I, what I love about what you've done is like we're speaking the same language and I.
And I, I just love that, that, like, I get to go and read your book now and learn about what I was doing intuitively yes. But that, but that you actually built a little science around it. And I had that same instinct that there was something healing in just allowing. Something to get revealed and just allow it to be what it is.
And that actually every time the camera was, you know, clicking, clicking, clicking, it was a form of validation and that all of the ways that women have been invalidated, it was somehow how yeah. Reversing that and allowing that it's like to just be able to witness somebody is I always say. The most powerful healing, most powerful underutilized healing that we all have available to us. In any moment and it's, so people are starving for it.

Darla: [00:44:03] Yes. Yes. We're so busy producing and we're not, we're not being seen. We're not seeing ourselves, you know, and this is the paradox. It's like, we really, we need to validate ourselves, but we can't do that until we've really. Seen it through another's eyes, you know?

Cause we're so self critical. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that idea of the camera shutter, quick story. I tore my rotator cuff a while back and I did a lot of work to heal it naturally with a lot of different therapists. And my wife is a photographer. I don't know if I told you that. So, so I totally get what, what it is that you're creating.
She did a shoot of my shoulder. You know, my nude shoulder and it was so healing, I just, the tears just streamed down with the way my shoulder was witnessed.

Monica: [00:44:57] Oh yeah. Right. Like just that is, is so profound. There's so much just in that you, you would, who would think that that would have been so profoundly healing for you?

Darla: [00:45:11] Yeah.

Monica: [00:45:12] Uh, this has just been amazing. And of course we didn't even get into some of the masculine and feminine work that you were telling me about. And so, um, so more to be revealed for sure. Right on that.

Darla: [00:45:25] Yeah. Well, and the main, the main thing I can do it in one sentence, the main thing is this structure is masculine, right?
Structures are masculine and the masculine holds the feminine. And so. Having this understanding of the structure creates the freedom to be more in flow and more in your feminine. And that's, that's what I'll say about that for now.

Monica: [00:45:50] Then I am going to create a whole nother episode for us to talk about just that, because I often talk about those energies and how they dance together and how they need each other and how actually without them, because of the love gender.

Nothing new can be created. So I love, love, love that we've been able to kind of get this far and I'll look forward to part two LeDoux. Um, so I just want to acknowledge you for your work. I cannot wait to get a copy of your book, Darla. I congratulate you. This is so, so powerful and exciting. And for our listeners.
We'll make sure to have all of Darla's information in the show notes and Darla. Is there anything else that you want our listeners to know about where they can find you?

Darla: [00:46:37] Oh, well, my website is sourced experience.com. You can take the quiz there and you can connect with me over on Instagram. I'm not the best at it, but I'm a work in progress, always.

Monica: [00:46:51] Always. Okay. Awesome. Thanks so much again, just for, for everything. And I look forward to our next conversation and again, to our listeners, more to be revealed. We hope you enjoyed this episode. For more information, please visit us@jointherevelation.com and be sure to download our free gift, subscribe to our mailing list or leave us a review on iTunes.

We thank you for your generous listening and as always more to be revealed.