I always want haircuts in Australia to be like haircuts as they are portrayed in America

where you have deep conversations with the barber, you know, you're chatting away.

It's like just dudes hanging out in the barbershop.

I don't know if that's actually how it works in America, but that's how I wish it was in

Australia.

But so I thought, so when I go to the hairdresser, I try and have a bit of a conversation.

They call that martining it, you know, throwing a little Martin's Martin flair is what they

call that.

I took the board, my two boys and myself to get a haircut.

As Jason asked, were we all lined up one next to each other in chairs?

No, we were not.

We were sort of consecutive.

It was, it was, um, uh, what's it was doing?

Not parallelism.

Um, what's the other one?

Sequentialism.

Thank you.

It was sequentialism in the head.

But anyway, so I was chatting away and I was chatting to, I was trying to get some banter

going, but I was trying to involve my kids as well.

But all that happens is Australia in Australia and Martin, you'll be familiar with this is

we have that sort of English culture where you just all shut up and zip it and just let

people do their job and nobody talks and just maintain negative eye contact.

I don't like that, but yes, you're right.

I wasn't having that.

Yeah, I wasn't having that.

So I was involved in, I was sort of bantering with the kids and the hair dressers, barbers,

whatever they are, follicle specialists that were chuckling because they could, they could

hear me and what I was doing with the kids and they were kind of enjoying it, but they

weren't getting involved.

They just couldn't let themselves get fully involved, which is a bit of a disappointment.

Second thing, I was in a particular chair, the kids were in this chair and they had different

hairdresser and then like I got my turn and I had this other guy, still sequentialism,

but just different people usually.

And every other time in the entire history of my hairdressing life, when I've gone to

a hairdresser, I sit in a chair and you sit there and you look at yourself in the mirror

straight ahead, right?

And the person walks around, you does your bits.

This guy does your bits.

Wow.

That's full service.

Nice.

That's your bits.

Very personal.

This guy was like, instead of walking around me, he was leveraging the spinning utility

of the chair and was spinning me around 90 degrees.

Then you spin me 180 degrees to get the other side.

Cause he couldn't be bothered walking around me.

He's like, I've got a chair that spins right here.

Let's put it to use.

And I didn't know whether this was genius on his behalf or pure stupidity.

The problem was I started to feel a little ill.

I'm not as young as I used to be.

And it felt like a fairground ride where I'm like, whoa.

And you never know where you're looking.

You're not looking at yourself the whole time.

You can't, suddenly you're looking at every other customer in the shop because you've

been spun 180 degrees around, then you're spun back around again.

I got to say, I wasn't a fan, but is this the way things are going these days?

Has anybody been spun in a barber chair?

You need to stay still and then to walk around you.

They don't spin you.

It's not a carnival ride.

Thank you.

Jason, do you have lots of cool conversations at the barber and do you get spun?

I've actually not been to a barber since pre 2020.

Your hair's quite short.

Do you have a growth problem?

Yeah, it just stopped.

No, I just cut it at home.

Wow.

That's pretty good.

We stopped going outside and then it was like, we got to cut our hair somehow.

So cutting your hair at home became a thing.

Kind of just kept doing it.

Do you talk to Valerie while it's happening?

Yes.

Oh yeah.

Lots of conversation.

Yeah.

Okay.

So there is conversation at the barbershop.

Yeah.

Oh, absolutely.

Yep.

It'd be kind of weird if there wasn't.

I just, I congratulate all those American barbershops where they're having, they hang

out and they have conversations.

Good on you.

Keep it up.

I can tell you previously to that, going to barbershops, there was plenty of conversation.

There was usually beer fridges.

There was lots going on.

There was music.

There was like a party in there.

So yeah, we need to learn a few things.

See I'm glad you brought this up Andrew, because I have the exact same attitude.

If you're sitting down in a chair and someone's providing some sort of hairdressing service

or other kind of thing to your person, I'm making it sound slightly vague and suspicious,

like you said, dealing with your bits.

Well it's intimate.

It's intimate.

They're dealing with your bits.

You want to have a conversation, right?

But I'm glad you brought this up because not only do I agree with that, there's a little

thing that I popped in the notes here, which I'll just get to it now because it's kind

of quick now that you've already said this.

Sure.

This thing about phones at the library.

We take Mac to the library, Woollongong library, because we get books and stuff for him to

borrow.

And there's also all these different toys and educational things that they rotate.

And you see all these parents sitting around the periphery, right?

Watching their kids and then just sit on their phones.

You know what I mean?

And for a start, it's like, okay, A, shouldn't you be supervising your kids properly or engaging

with them?

B, there's books all around you.

So that's a medium that you could engage with in the library.

And C, why are we all sitting around here not talking?

It's like an actual zone in the library where you're allowed to speak, but no one's actually

speaking to each other.

And so I'm not like being creepy and itching to talk to someone, but it's like, you're

right there.

We've got this shared community space and experience.

It's not the service like the hairdresser, but it's like, come on, what?

You're just bringing them to engage with a little train set and then you go home and

you've checked Facebook on your phone.

So yeah, it doesn't matter if it's hairdressers, library, Andrew, I'm with you.

What are all these places where people don't want to talk?

Get real.

Yeah, these should be the third spaces, right?

That is always talked about.

You have home, you have work, and then you have the third spaces, which are meant to

be these nice places.

Ideally somewhere where you don't have to pay.

You do have to pay for a haircut, but you probably don't have to pay to go to the library.

I would certainly hope not.

And so that should be the ideal third space to hang out, have a little chat, to talk about

what's up in the world.

Yeah.

What's a haircut go for these days?

How many AUD are we talking for a haircut?

About $500 a haircut.

That's what I was thinking.

I think it's about $30 for a dude these days.

Wow.

I know.

So just kind of your normal...

Just getting rich.

Did that include a beard session as well or that's just a haircut?

No, and I even had to...

Just a haircut and I had to actively request to get my eyebrows trimmed.

Oh my goodness.

I mean, come on, usually that's just thrown in.

That happens to me though, but I'm always a little bit like I'm grateful, but then they

just attack the eyebrows without asking me.

So it's like, how bad did you think they were that you just jumped to it without asking me?

Eyebrows.

I have never in the history of my life had a barber cut my eyebrows.

I think a barber understands the challenges that a man faces and is more willing to get

in there.

Like I find when I do go to a barber, not only do they attack my eyebrows, which I appreciate,

they often will just get a little bit of the ear hairs.

I appreciate that.

Not like right in there, not the ones right in there, but the ones on the top, get a little...

Oh man.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe this is a regional difference.

Maybe in Western Australia after you've had your hungry Jackson hive is they're plucking

ear hairs out or something.

Is that the process?

I reckon I'm just old enough and my hair's just gone.

So this morning I did a lot of work, physical labor, which my body doesn't really like anymore.

And I got to the end of it and I was saying to myself, geez, I'm rooted.

It suddenly made me think that's a great Australian piece of vernacular that I wonder if Jason

has ever heard of before or used, particularly in that context.

I am rooted.

No, definitely not.

I mean, I've clearly not used it, but it also doesn't immediately stand out as, oh yeah,

that makes sense.

Given the context of what you just said.

Yeah.

Well, it's tech adjacent.

So often, you know how when you can root a computer and you get in, you sudo it.

You're in root.

Yes.

So that's why I brought this up on the show.

It is tech adjacent.

Perfect.

Okay.

I'll accept that.

It's tenuous, but I'll accept it.

In Australia, we will often say, usually it's an F, but I'll say, oh boy, ah, boy, I'm rooted.

You've done a lot of work.

You're physically tired.

You're worn out.

You're rooted.

Martin, are you familiar with this?

I am.

I'm just watching Jason's facial expressions.

Listeners can't see his doubtful grimaces and squirming.

So I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking when somebody's rooted that there's been copulation.

That is not the sort of rooting I'm talking about.

You could be rooted from rooting.

That's also acceptable.

Just like you could be F'd from Fing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yes.

That is true.

But no, this was just genuine.

I'm rooted because I've been moving, lifting and heaving heavy things around and just doing

physical labor.

So I'm rooted.

So rooted is exhaustion.

Jason, how would you explain if you're like, you've just done a bunch of work and you know,

you're tired, you're worn out from it.

You see a friend, you're like, "Oh, I'm..."

What would you say?

We may also say, "I'm buggered."

Another word would be totally reasonable to use.

"Geez, I'm buggered."

Also very sexual in origin.

Yeah.

Indeed.

But not in this context.

Just "I'm buggered.

I'm rooted."

What do you got, Jason?

What do Americans say?

Boy, I mean, I think just I'm exhausted.

I mean, just hearing your descriptions of everything, as far as what we would say, I

guess either "I'm exhausted."

I think probably I'd go with like, "I'm fucking done."

That would be like the probably closer to what you're looking for.

"Stuffed."

Would you say "stuffed"?

No.

Okay.

No.

It's another one we'd use.

Which also means that you're full because you ate too much.

I think you could probably say that you were wasted, but then that works, but that's also

kind of like a drinking kind of thing.

So, that doesn't always work.

Yes.

Yeah.

What about "knackered"?

That's another one we'd say.

"Geez, man, I'm knackered."

For how often you remove letters and words from things, you have so many words for the

same thing.

"Variety's fun."

You would never say just straight up "exhausted"?

I do.

But apparently I'm too formal.

Yeah, I'll be honest.

All of the words that Andrew has said, I have no problem with, but I never say them.

Oh, wow.

You use them all.

All right.

I'm rooted by this subject.

I have a question for both of you related to the past, the present, and the future beyond.

Wow.

Even though you know what the topic is because you're looking at it in the notes.

No one else does.

I want to know about your history and current status of collecting.

That could be collecting comic books, action figures as a kid, trading cards, pencils and

pencil accessories, virtual things.

What was your childhood like as a collector?

What are you like now, and what do you aspire to be as a collector?

Sorry to put the pressure on, but I'd like to hear Andrew first.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Well, I say that, and I don't say that because you're older than I am, I think you will have

maybe...

No, I mean that in terms of experience and breadth and depth of knowledge, Andrew, and

things that might come earlier than my time.

So I reckon you should go first.

Yeah, like how many of the Ten Commandments do you actually have in stone form?

Martin, Martin, come and sit by my feet and let me tell you a story.

I meant it positively.

In my day.

In 1912...

We collected penny farthings.

That's a really large thing to collect.

That's very impractical.

You could only have three of them.

Well, there's only six things that existed back then, so you had to pick one and go with

it.

No, seriously, so when I was a child, my collections...

I think I went through a few phases of collection, but the ones that I can recall, and that a

couple of them I still have had until very recently when I finally did another purge,

was there's three things that pop into my mind.

The first one was stickers.

I think everybody can understand the compulsion to collect stickers.

My compulsion was collecting them and then sticking them into a scrapbook in an incredibly

neat way, in a grid form, trying to maximize the sticker per page ratio.

I had stickers from all over the place.

I didn't really care what they were.

Obviously, the ones that were a bit more interesting were more fun, but they all just went in the

sticker book, neatly arrayed.

I would just occasionally flip through that book, a scrapbook of stickers.

That's the first one I remember.

Secondly, when I was a child, also, I would collect bookmarks, which are just little bits,

strips of card paper with different things on them.

I think I started collecting because I think my mother would occasionally buy them for

me.

She would go to the bookshop and she would buy me a book and throw a bookmark in it as

well.

I just sort of gradually collected them.

I was like, "Oh, it looks like I collect bookmarks."

I also remember going through and going, "Well, this is the book I'm reading.

What's an appropriate bookmark for this book?"

I'd have a few favorites and that kind of thing.

That was it.

I remember collecting those.

Sorry to interrupt.

Did you align them thematically?

All this bookmark is showing something about this author or a similar idea or something?

Or was it more about the size and the height and stuff?

It was dimensional.

That's exactly how it was.

It was the tallest and widest were at the back through to the skinniest.

The third thing I remember collecting as a child, continuing the theory of books, and

this is where I can't believe I'm admitting this, babysitter club books.

I collected them all, book one, two, three, four, five, and I had them arrayed on my shelf,

perfectly ordered.

We would have a book club at school, which is kind of like scholastic book club.

It's still around.

Basically, you would put in an order and then six weeks later, books would arrive.

You had that too?

Like, where you had the little weird, super thin paper, and there was like the bookmobile

thing and you'd fill out the little thing and then your parents would get a bill and

they'd be like, "What the hell did you buy from this scholastic book fair?"

But they'd be on the hook for it.

So it was like too late.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it was so exciting.

So yeah, and it was like Christmas when your books arrived.

And every time I ordered, a babysitter club book would be arriving.

And do you know the amount of hassle I got from being a boy reading books about a girl

babysitting club back in the days when people weren't as enlightened?

But you know, I didn't care because I was invested in those characters.

So that's my collection story as a child.

That's the, I'm not one to dominate, but now as a collector from an old person's perspective,

I don't really collect.

I'm kind of just don't do it.

There's nothing I've got that I collect.

And I'm trying to avoid collecting stuff.

I'm trying to downsize and minimize.

So I don't know.

I don't feel the attraction to collect things anymore.

Just microphones and notes apps?

Oh, notes apps.

Yeah, good point.

Digital collections probably.

We won't even talk about apps at this point because that's just, no.

I'm staying in the physical world.

No, I don't really collect.

I've got nothing.

I have a question.

I have a question about the babysitters club.

I think it's a shame that you were hassled because clearly it's whatever.

If you enjoy it, that's great.

What did you enjoy about those books?

It was the characterization.

It was just like watching a soap opera.

I think it grabbed you in the same way that, you know, there's this character development

that went along, but then there was a self-contained adventure in every book.

And I just kind of got to know these characters and you want to know what happens to them

next.

But I would read them in a night so that I would get them delivered and I would basically

finish the whole book that night because you just couldn't put the thing down.

They were pretty straightforward to read.

See, I never really read them, but the thing that concerned me, knowing that it was kind

of like a babysitter soap opera drama, were they ever actually fulfilling their supervision

duties?

Were children being cared for or was it just drama and they were just ignoring the kids?

Oh, no, no, no.

They had things called kid kits and the kid kits were full of accessories that would,

you know, provide a good time for the children that they were looking after.

So yeah, they were wonderful babysitters.

Absolutely.

Don't don't question that at all.

Kids were well cared for.

OK, because you start to obsess too much about the membership of the babysitter club and

what's going on, who's paid their fees, who hasn't, who's bringing the dip or whatever.

And it's like suddenly, you know, the kids in Neglect have never been fed.

They get a bit older and then there's dreamy boys and all that kind of stuff.

And then they start to drop the ball a little bit.

You know, as soon as boys into the frame, it ruined everything.

That's what I'm worried about.

Martin, what do you collect?

Yeah.

So as a kid, I did like collecting certain things.

I was into the whole Pokemon card thing as a kid.

I wouldn't say I was the most avid collector.

I did like getting them, but I was never to the point.

I don't know.

When I was at primary school, it was that whole they're being banned at schools because

it's erupting into fights and stuff like I collected them.

But I was never nuts about it.

Do you know what I mean?

Loved the show, watched all that.

Is that an Australia thing or was that everywhere?

I don't know about that.

People were fighting about Pokemon.

Well, it wasn't Australia.

When I was in primary school or elementary school for American listeners, that's what

was going on.

And there's actually this YouTube account, which I've been following with great interest

called Zampa Kid.

And it's someone from our region going back.

And this is a collection thing.

Here you go.

Thematically appropriate going and buying and collecting all of these old VHS tapes.

They have their own, but they've been hunting for them from people at garage sales or something.

I don't know.

And digitizing and uploading all of this stuff.

And it was like an old TV news report from when I was a kid talking about, oh, the scourge

of the nation, like the Pokemon card banning the thing.

And I was like, oh, my God, I remember that from from TV.

So I've been following someone else's fun kind of digitized collection on YouTube of

old VHS tapes.

But yes, anyway, I digress.

That's my little thing there.

Other than that, when I got a little bit older, I was quite a DVD collector, which started

to become, at least for me, kind of ridiculous because then it was, OK, where are they going?

How are they being stored?

Do I get to watch all of them again?

So then I kind of did the thing where I was either trying to digitize them or if that

became too painful, I started to actually just recycle the cases and keep all of the

discs in those kind of bound, you know, like those sleeve things.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

With the zipper around it.

Exactly.

And now I still have that.

So I have all of those old DVDs and I can stick them on if I want to.

But I kind of moved to the collection of movies through things like iTunes, now Apple TV store.

And I know that has its own issues with like copy protection and all that stuff.

But we make heavy use of family sharing with different profiles.

So I like to think that's kind of my current media collection that's still accessible to

family.

If I had to like paint a picture of what I think a Martin was like, like theoretically,

if he were old enough to go to college and he were in college, I think he would be the

guy with like just the wall of DVDs in his like dorm room or whatever.

That just seems like a Martin thing.

And he would know every single film that he had and could tell you like the whole story.

If you just picked a random one off the shelf and be like, what about this one?

He'd be like, well, that one.

And then he would go on for like 15 minutes about what that movie was about.

That's-

Wow, you know me well.

Yeah.

Yeah, he would have a film club, wouldn't he?

He would have one, he would join one that gather around, discuss movies.

And the more esoteric and obscure the film would be, the more points that person would

get.

Yep.

And you'd pull it out and he would make sure you knew that that is the blah, blah, blah

version, which back in 1978 had a scene where the cup was on the left instead of the right.

And they had to change the whole film because of that.

And he would like talk about that for a while.

Something like that.

Yeah.

I never had something like the size of a wall.

Right.

It was kind of like a smaller bookshelf.

But you can bet that all of the movies there were alphabetical and TV was separated.

Yep.

Because how else are you going to find it quickly to show people to give that lecture

that you just described?

That's how it works, right?

And there's not a chance in hell he's loaded any of those out.

No way.

He would have a library card system.

Yeah.

I did lend out a couple of DVDs because I thought, oh, why not?

They're my friends.

And things came back broken like after a week.

And I kind of thought, you know, I need to be kind of less stressed about this.

Just go easy.

Don't worry.

It's just stuff.

And then people proved time and time again, stuff was destroyed.

And I was like, are you eating lunch on this?

Are you wiping your ass with this DVD?

What is going on?

So, yeah, you feel a nerve there.

But look, otherwise, I did get into collecting some some old iPods and stuff, but I kind

of gave up on that as I got a bit older.

There's a book on the bookshelf and things.

I suppose the most recent form of collecting, you can say, is since I switched camera systems,

I've been collecting lenses for that.

But that's not really like I want every niche, esoteric, manual focus thing that, you know,

I'm just going for the things that are kind of within the standard system to do different

practical stuff.

So like Andrew, I've kind of given up on collecting lots of things because I don't have the time

or the space.

And if I do, it's more linked to a hobby or practical thing that you do.

So yeah, trying to be more moderate there.

Jason is the- you're the biggest collector of the three of us, I think.

I think I'm safe to say.

I feel that's the case.

Yeah, I think that's- yeah, I think I have a- there's probably a condition that could

be put upon me for collecting things.

Yeah, I love collecting things.

Yeah, as a kid, I think I'm thinking like comic books, various kinds of trading cards,

and Star Wars figures were huge for me as a kid.

Like I wanted all the Star Wars figures, but I really sought the misprint ones or the ones

where like Darth Vader's lightsaber, they made it really long for like a month, and

then they realized it was wrong, and then they changed it.

And now there's only like so many of the one that has the long lightsaber, like those kind

of weird misprinty kind of things.

I liked collecting that kind of stuff.

Yeah, so you said your weird one was the babysitter's club.

Mine was pencils and pencil accessories.

So I really loved pencils and like erasers that went on pencils or the little like triangle

things you'd slide onto the pencil.

So it was like, I guess, ergonomic or whatever.

Yeah, the little grip thing.

Yeah, teach you how to hold a pencil correctly.

So anything to do with like pens, I just have like bags of pencils that mostly, I mean,

you only use one pencil at a time, but I love pencils.

Did you like the clicky mechanical pencils?

No, just like straight up like the wood pencils.

So there'd be like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pencil or, you know, this one's got

pizza slices on it or whatever, like pencils.

I don't know.

There you go, pencils.

So I guess moving into now, God, what don't I collect?

You said stickers and like that.

I think it's funny you had the notebook because you go from like the notebook to now you do

your notebook is a MacBook, kind of.

At least that's for me because mine is absolutely covered in stickers.

And the sticker thing is hard because I actually thought recently to do your exact idea of

a notebook.

I was like, I have literally boxes of stickers, but I can't see them.

I can't enjoy them.

But I'm also too afraid to stick them on anything most of the time because what if I use it

up?

Yes, I try.

And then I'll find myself falling into the trap of if I find a cool sticker, it's like

I better get two of them.

That way in case this first one gets wasted, I got a backup.

So yeah, that kind of shows you that.

Yeah, I don't know.

I've got like every phone over there and I've got a bunch of- I'm now collecting camera

stuff because it's just I like things that just look nice on the shelf, as you can tell

from my-

And you're a Sigma man now.

You're into the Sigma world.

Yeah, again, because they have really weird quirky cameras and like no one else is doing

that.

So now I want all the weird quirky cameras.

So yeah, a lot of collecting going on.

I know this is going to be unpopular, particularly with our listenership, but I'm really not

a sticker person.

I can admire them.

I love- Look, Jason's holding his up now.

I love the work that goes into them, particularly fan work.

But I kind of like what Jason said about the anxiety of using them.

It's more that I like the way they look when they're printed and presented, but then I

don't really want to put them on anything because I don't want to alter the look of

the things that they would be placed on.

Do you know what I mean?

I don't like stickers when they're applied.

I feel like it's ruined the thing.

And I'm not saying like, Jason, your arrangement looks beautiful.

That's great.

And I'm sure you have stuff too, Andrew, but my stuff, not really.

The only thing, and maybe this will make you pleased, the only thing that I apply stickers

to willingly is my iPad Pro that I edit the show on.

That's it.

I'm holding up here.

I've got the Hemispheric View stickers here.

I've got one prime plus on the back because this is essentially the Hemispheric Views

machine.

When I'm editing it, because listeners will see in the show notes, edited by Andrew or

Martin using ferrite.

I do use it for other things, but mainly this is hours and hours spent on this iPad.

So this is the Hemispheric iPad as far as I'm concerned.

So it's earned those stickers.

It's appropriate, but nothing else really.

And Martin, that makes total sense to me.

I'm looking at my MacBook at the moment, which has stickers on it.

It's basically the first MacBook or first computer I've ever owned where I've applied

stickers.

I was also, like you, maintaining the purity of the device.

And I was like, I can't put stickers on it.

I'll wreck it.

And then I reached a point where I was just like, I just want stickers.

I'm just going to do it.

Everybody else seems to have fun with it.

Why shouldn't I try it?

And I put them on and my life goes on and like everything still seems to work.

I did peel one off and I used like eucalyptus oil to get rid of any residue and cleaned

it up to prove that, you know, you could remove them and no harm done.

So yeah, I'm a changed man just in the last few years.

So don't feel bad about that.

Thank you.

And I would say anybody listening to this, forget everything Martin said and go to hemisphericviews.com/shop.

And pick up a sticker today that is either the show artwork, a podcast for vitality,

the default laptop sticker, or join one prime plus and get the oneprimeplus.com shield sticker

today, exclusive to one prime plus members.

Start your collection.

Just call in the next 30 minutes and keep an eye out soon for our upcoming newsletter.

Yeah.

If you go to our website in the next 33 minutes, you can buy a sticker.

And if it's after 33 minutes, you can still buy a sticker.

So just...

But wait, I know you want more.

Oh, what else can we offer?

Well, if you join today in the next 30 minutes, not only are we going to offer you one prime

plus shield sticker, we're going to offer you, as Martin said, a very special members

newsletter and very occasionally, because we know you want more.

You may get a listener at Hemispheric Views one prime plus member episode.

Off the low, low price of how much Jason?

Look at oneprimeplus.com for pricing details.

Prices fluctuate all the time.

I'm excited.

Bam, and the dirt has gone.

Call me now.

Speaking of ads, we just did a little bit of an ad.

Head of the show, Zachary, who has just had a lovely...

I believe he's just had a little child.

I'd like to wish him congratulations on the birth of his baby.

Lovely, wonderful news.

Thank you for sharing with on the one prime plus.

Well, Hemispheric Views discord.

You can get there today through our website if you want to know more.

But Zachary said to us that he enjoys our trash ads.

Is that a compliment?

I don't know.

Can you believe he said that?

So Zachary, I want to give you an ad today.

I'm so concerned.

Okay.

Who's editing this one, by the way?

Andrew.

Good luck.

Garbage.

Garbage is everywhere.

We know it.

We know it's hard to control.

We know you have garbage in your kitchen.

I can imagine somebody like Zachary just getting started with his family.

Got baby, got baby mess.

Got baby food.

Got baby diapers.

Garbage.

What do you need?

You need Hemispheric Views trash collection.

We are here to pick up your garbage and remove it from your house because nobody should have

to deal with garbage.

So would you like the Hemispheric Views garbage collection system installed in your home today?

Well, we can help you out with that.

We know you want it.

All you do is you need to go to oneprimeplus.com, click that little subscribe button and we'll

ship you our Hemispheric Views rubbish bag collection.

That's right.

That's right.

You won't be placing your trash in a garbage collection.

You know, the little things that go down and you grind it up and send it down into the

sewerage.

No way.

We don't like those.

That's bad for the environment.

We're going to give you a biodegradable Hemispheric Views garbage bag.

Garbage in the US, trash in the US, rubbish in Australia.

Doesn't matter what you call it.

It's garbage.

Trash ad.

Hemispheric Views.

Purely for Zachary.

Buy now.

That was like one of those YouTube ads that's come out recently that you can't skip.

There you go.

Trash ad.

Take that, Zachary.

That was very smooth, Andrew.

Now I have two questions for you, which is somewhat rhetorical.

A.

Two questions.

Two questions.

What kind of squalor or filth do you think that Zachary lives in to warrant that?

And B, do you actually expect us to collect rubbish?

No.

Okay.

Answer first question.

Zachary's currently living in a very clean house.

However, he's just had a baby.

So I give it.

I got that.

But I'm a little bit.

Six to eight weeks and it will be squalor.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's unavoidable.

You've got to think about yourself, Zachary.

Babies are hard.

Are you imagining like when the French went on strike over the pension stuff or whatever,

like all this rubbish just flowing out of people's houses under the street?

Just collect.

Yeah, yeah.

Just throwing it on the street.

Yeah, exactly.

Don't worry.

Don't feel bad, Zachary.

It's okay.

That's why we've got you.

And so what's going to happen, Jason is actually going to arrange as global shipping headquarters.

He's actually going to match.

He's going to source, produce and prepare biodegradable yellow bags with the Hemisphere

Views logo on it and make it available in the online store.

I'm not sure if this is a brand kind of idea or allegiance that we want.

Like we want rubbish bags with our logo on it.

Is that a good move?

I like to think so.

I think it's in perfect alignment.

All right.

We can be trash adjacent.

I should just make it HP hemispheric poos.

Oh boy.

I'm looking up.

Okay, seven.

Yellow biodegradable bags.

He's actually looking up like.

Okay, I think it's doable.

Okay.

Biodegradable garbage bag, eco-friendly, 50 micron, lab tested, biohazard waste bag.

Okay.

Yeah, it's probably doable.

Oh yeah.

These have bio-hazard logos on them.

That's perfect.

New sticker idea.

Actually, it's funny you said that because as a kid, I remember being in primary school

and you know, Haschem?

Yes.

I had no idea.

Yeah.

I actually thought as a kid, like we're talking primary school.

I remember saying that for the first time.

I must've been like seven or eight years old and I was like, is that a foreign language?

Is that like something in, I don't know, Arabic or something?

And I would kind of read it in my mind with like a foreign accent.

And then until someone said it's like hazardous chemicals and not Haschem or something, I

was like, oh, now I'm with you.

Jason's like, oh, I know Haschem.

I thought you were saying Has-cam.

I think that's a dud, dud abbreviation.

Well, it's not clear.

Like if someone explains it to you, you go, oh, of course that makes sense.

But when you read it, it's like Haschem.

Hazardous chemicals.

Is there a hyphen in there?

Is there a hyphen mark?

No.

Oh my God.

It's all in a single font.

Like just capital letters Haschem.

Has-Haschem.

And look, there's probably an Arabic speaker out there going, Martin, how on earth does

Haschem sound like anything in my language?

So I apologize to you.

Maybe it's another one.

But as a kid, I was like, ah, yeah, that sounds like it makes sense.

Jason, you're wearing multiple Apple watch bands, like six at a time.

Is that right?

Uh, seven.

But who's counting?

Seven.

Yeah.

No, I just, I just wanted to.

This is kind of a public service announcement, I guess you could say.

Um, a hemispheric announcement publicly, if you will.

So the, the, the sport band, the Apple watch sport band, I think everybody's familiar with

that.

That's been around since I believe series zero.

So the very beginning, it's that flora elastomer, nice, squishy, nice soft band with the little

metal thing that goes in the various holes.

Um, you buy them as a single color, right?

So you get a green one, get a red one, maybe you get a white one.

That's fun.

I'm here to tell you that as much as they don't want you to, you can mix and match colors

of these bands.

I know.

Stop.

I know you're freaking out.

And I think Apple approved that.

I know.

And it turns out you can, I have hemispheric fuse band blue, and I don't remember what

they call this color, but something yellow looks very yellow to me.

Yeah.

Orange.

Um, yeah.

So I just want to let everybody know that as much as you've been told throughout your

whole life, that you are absolutely not allowed to mix and match these bands.

You absolutely can.

And I have yet to be arrested for it.

That's it.

That was my public service announcement.

No, I think that's fantastic.

I've done the hemispheric fuse one.

I've done the Christmas one, even though like I'm not the world's biggest Christmas fan,

but green and red, I've done that.

I remember I tried to do like a kind of a red and yellow with the black watch face German

thing just because the colors were pretty punchy.

I think it's great.

But I think your challenge Jason is to make it, I mean, do you have the stainless steel

link bracelet?

Yes.

If you can make half of that somehow work with the floral estimate sports band, I'd

be very impressed without breaking them.

I could do half of the black one and half of the silver one.

Does that?

That would work.

Does that count?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's okay.

I could do that.

Or I could do alternating links, black and silver.

Ooh.

Since they're all individual.

So yeah, I could do that.

Yeah, that's even better.

Okay.

That actually makes sense.

You should do that.

And it's still, I think I would argue easily top three band styles, if not top two overall,

but that's a personal preference.

I like the weave, the nylon thing that I've got on now.

The like squishy, squishy, spongy one.

Yeah.

Yep.

Do you wear that in the shower?

Yeah.

And it takes a while to dry out afterwards.

Keeps it smelling fresh though.

Just a shame about the Apple watch in general.

What?

Changes to the interface that have ruined aspects of the experience.

Is that what you're referring to Andrew?

Exactly.

Yeah.

I'm not going to mind.

I've got batteries cooked in this one, but I'm not buying another one.

No, just not.

We won't go into too dark an area because I love my watch.

I depend on, I love the notification thing.

I love the fact I don't have to have like ringtones blaring.

There's so many things that I love about the watch, but that huge biggest redesign, blah,

blah, blah in the watch's history.

It's like, I'm not sure why some of those things had to happen.

Even today, like in ways that, you know, like everyone complained about system settings and

all that stuff on the Mac.

There are interface changes that happen and you just get used to them.

But something about the watch, I don't know, like the way that they changed the scroll

behavior where they had like those clicky haptic, like it kind of rolls over, but it

doesn't happen in every app.

And sometimes you get the smooth thing, sometimes you get the clickety click.

It's like they've got three different scroll types that don't necessarily make any sense

in different apps.

So I found that it's still broken my brain in ways that I don't like.

I still don't know which button to push at any point.

I'm just like, I just ram a button and hope I do not know what I'm meant to do.

That little scrolly up to get the widgets from the clock face, I never use that.

Never ever.

That's useless.

Jason, you don't bother using timers on your watch because that's too much of a hassle.

So how did you go about fixing this in some way?

I did.

So we have policies and procedures here on the show and we have a strict no exceptions

policy around the type 45.

So I have procured no less than six timers from the internet so that I can time the show

and make sure that we stay with a type 45.

So I can't hold them all up, but you can see I'm holding three of them at least.

What is going on?

They're all like separate actual devices.

Yeah, these are just the collection section again.

No, it actually has nothing to do with type 45.

I've been trying to adopt this Pomodoro technique where you do like 25 minutes, take a break,

25 minutes as like a means of focus because I am dreadfully shit at focusing on things

and it's only getting worse as I get older.

I probably should get some kind of bodily inspection done, but that's for another day.

So I'm trying out this Pomodoro thing and I started out with like stupid computer apps.

Computer apps suck for this.

Having a stupid widget on the screen or some app running in the dock.

No, no, no, no.

It's got to be like separate.

I think it should be separate.

That's my opinion.

So I was like, all right, let's get like physical timers.

Like having your phone set off to the side.

No, because now your phone is there and you're looking at your stupid phone.

So I got six timers to find the best timer.

I already know the answer to the best timer.

So I'm really curious to know if you've got the right one.

So I can tell you.

It's the microwave, isn't it?

It's not this one.

This is the shittest timer I've ever used in my life.

So that's already back in the box.

You're not going to name it for the listeners?

Oh God.

They're all like these terrible generic names.

Avenia, I think is what that says.

That's not, that's not the right one either.

Does that say rotary or rotaty?

It says rotaty.

It's supposed to be rotating, I think, but you know, close.

It looked like a nice metal dial in the foot.

It's not, it's garbage.

Then there's this one, which is fun.

Little blue one.

It's cute.

When you hit go, it has a little fun smiley face.

It's nice.

Yeah, it doesn't really work.

So also going back.

Then there's this one.

Oh, sorry.

The name of that one.

Oh, this one's fun.

Okay.

It is the Success Courier SL.

I don't know why, but if you want to email them, it's successservice2@hotmail.com.

Yay!

You know that problem's going to get solved right away.

Then there's this one, my matrix clock.

Oh, I like that one.

Yeah.

So that one you get like, that's a pretty good one.

Problem with this one is it's-

Also like a Marty McFly alarm clock/flux capacitor.

It looks like a flux capacitor a little bit.

Yeah.

I think Rob would appreciate this.

The problem with this one is there's so much blinking happening that you can't not look

at the damn thing.

So now you're distracted by the clock.

So this is actually going in the kitchen now.

This is our new kitchen timer because it's got little magnets on the back.

So not a bad clock overall.

You're not wearing the Vision Pro and having 10 timers around your head when you're in

the kitchen?

God damn it.

Because that's the future.

That's what we're here for.

We are not here for that at all.

Also USB-C. So I mean, who doesn't love that?

Nice.

Still not the right one.

And then the one that is the favorite.

Because there's orange on it.

Is that why?

Yeah.

Nice orange knob on top.

Jason loves an orange knob.

Look at this.

Look at this.

This is, okay, listeners, this is very aesthetically pleasing.

You have to look at the notes.

Look at that.

I think it's, he's turning the knob.

It's like a dial and it's filling up this beautiful red circle around the digital time.

The only problem with this one is I don't want a damn clock in the middle.

I don't care what time it is.

I just want to know the outside.

So I think if I put the round hemispheric view sticker in the middle, it would probably

solve all my issues.

Jason, I can help you.

I can give you exactly what you want.

You love that red dial, don't you?

I have one more.

One more.

Okay.

This might be the winner.

Oh, no, it's not.

It's the play date.

Really?

There's a Pomodoro timer on the play date that is absolutely wonderful.

And the only thing I'm missing is the cool little dock that's not out yet.

So I'm really hoping the little dock comes out soon so I can place this on my desk and

hold my pen.

But does that have the same issue as like the phone that it's looking at it and it's like,

oh, I'd like to play with that.

Like it's distracting in another fun way.

It probably would be, which is why I think this is still the winner right now, because

this is just a dumb timer that's going to count down my little circle.

And yeah, so.

Now, see, Andrew was going to offer to time for you from overseas.

I think that's what he was about to say.

I think he was.

Yeah.

Could you, can you provide your solution?

I can give you the solution.

Also, this is your three, talking about time, and this is your three minute warning and

I have to go.

Okay.

So this is, you just need to go to, this is an ad, but it's not an ad that we're getting

anything for.

Go to timetimer.com.

Like right now?

Timetimer.com.

Like right now?

This is what you want.

Trust me.

You want it?

Oh my God.

It's huge.

Why is it 400 feet wide?

There is a huge one.

No, you don't have to get the huge one.

Don't get the huge.

Scroll down and there's a girl with a yellow background holding up one with a little handle.

That's what you want.

That's cute.

I like that.

That is exactly what you want.

I know this because we have them in this house and they are excellent.

What happens, you just spin it around and you feel that red section fills up and then

it just gradually goes down and there's no distracting, you know, blinking lights or

anything.

It's all, and it's all analog.

You know, that's, you sort of spin that dial and that dial is just like, it's just.

There's an orange one.

Is there an orange one?

Well, shit.

I was like, where were you three weeks ago when I ordered 85 timers in the mail?

I'm telling you, these things are incredible.

And then they get to the end and they just go beep, beep, beep.

And it's done.

There's a red one, an orange one, yellow, green, blue and purple.

This is another way that we're complete or that I'm completely different from both of

you to have any kind of timer, low pressure or high pressure or not or whatever, to have

it blinking at me while I'm working would infuriate me.

No, but this doesn't blink, Martin.

This is a gradual.

It's not like a second hand.

It's a sweeping second hand.

No, no, no.

I don't want to be timed.

I will do it according to the quality that's required as I wish to fit whatever deadline.

I'm not going to be timed by this device in the corner.

You two, I'm very happy for you.

I'm not doing that.

OK, they do have a software option as well.

Don't worry about this garbage.

I don't want, I don't want.

Software is the wrong solution for this.

I need like a physical clock.

Buy this clock, Jason Burt.

You will, you will be satisfied.

How many more minutes do you have, Martin?

One.

But I reckon you can do all three topics in a minute.

Let's do it.

Set the timer.

Let's go.

Bang, bang, bang.

Andrew, are you still a Firefox?

Yes, I am.

Not nearly as excited about it, but still using it.

Have you tried Vivaldi?

No, I can't be bothered.

Well, I have tried it, but I don't want to do it.

Next topic.

I would like to announce the launch today, April 12th, 2024 of Echo Feed by Mr. Rob Knight.

You may know Echo, which we've run on our Mac mini servers in our basements.

Now you can get it as a service to run for you so you don't have to manage all that crap.

So go check that out.

Echo Feed.

What does it do?

It cross posts stuff for you automatically.

So you could say like, put your blog URL in there and then say, when I post a blog post,

send it to Mastodon, send it to Blue Sky, send it to whatever.

I use it for my glass posts.

When I post something to glass, it picks it up, shoves it over to Mastodon for me automatically.

Oh.

Cool.

Quick, quick, quick.

There's one more.

You can do it.

Wait, I need another minute.

Go.

Okay.

I didn't say that.

But yeah, keep going.

Did you have any more questions, Andrew, about that?

No, keep going.

Okay.

Anyway, well done to Rob Knight.

Yeah.

Good on you.

Listener of the show.

I feel like he took the idea to launch in like, it felt like a day and a half.

I think it wasn't, but I don't know.

He's incredible the way he is able to do things.

I don't understand how he does it.

[music]

Beeping.