Emily: Welcome to Open Door Policy. All are welcome here. We are here to listen to testimonies from all over Southeast Michigan. To hear our sisters and brothers shared their faith journey. ‘Open Door Policy’ means letting people walk into our lives and tell us their experience of God — what led them to him and how their life was changed. Tune in every other week for a new episode of Open Door Policy. 
I'm your host, Emily Mentock.
Fr. Patrick: And I’m Fr. Patrick Gonyeau. 
Emily: Subscribe on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Today we're excited to welcome Ricardo Hernandez to the Open Door Policy virtual studio. Ricardo, thanks so much for being with us today. 
Ricardo: Thank you so much for having me. 
Emily: Can you tell us a little bit about what your life as a joyful missionary disciple looks like these days?
Ricardo: So right now, just working from home and also every now and then work at my office at Community Health and Social Services and just doing what I can and the Hispanic community in Southwest Detroit.
Emily: Awesome. It's so great to hear from you and we're so grateful that you were able to join us today. What is the parish that you belong to?
Ricardo: So right now, I actually am at the Basilica of St. Anne.
Emily: Awesome. Are you involved in any ministries there?
Ricardo: Yeah, so I've been involved in quite a couple of things, but mainly, and one group that's for young adults called Jornadas, and I've been there since about 2016, and I'm also involved in one of the more recent youth groups called Corazon Puro.
Fr. Patrick: Ricardo, we have a mutual friend in one of my best friends, Fr. Ryan Adams. He's told me about you and I'm pumped you're on the show, brother!
Ricardo: [laughs] Shout out to Fr. Ryan!
Fr. Patrick: Hallelujah! And he told us about your awesome podcast, Cafe con Santos Podcast. Hey, I got to ask you what has been one of the most powerful episodes that you've had? Who's been one of the guests that came on and a powerful episode you've had?
Ricardo: I think personally, I think it was with one of my friends, Alejandra, where we talked about St. Joan of Arc. I think it was  just — it's so much, I don't want to say better, but easier when you interview personal friends, ‘cause you get to share that, like, connection with them and just be real vulnerable. And then also recently, the most recent one that we had was with Antonio from the Archdiocese of Detroit and we talked about Blessed Carlo Acutis, and we just talked about the Eucharist and I really feel like that was a very cool one as well.
Fr. Patrick: We're excited to hear more of your story because what I've heard Ricardo, you're this young, on-fire disciple doing great things in young adult ministry in Southwest Detroit. So we're thrilled you're here, brother.
Ricardo: For sure.
Emily: We'd love to introduce you to the audience a little bit more, Ricardo, with just some ice breaker questions to help them get to know you. So one of my first questions for you is who is your confirmation saint?
Ricardo: You know, this is a little embarrassing, but I actually don't have one. So when I was —
Emily: I don’t have one either! Oh my gosh.
Ricardo: When I was baptized, then I was confirmed. But this process I think happened when I went to Mexico, so I never actually got a chance to have a saint. 
Fr. Patrick: Never too late to pick one! 
Ricardo: [laughs] I think I'm on the mission to find one.
Emily: That's awesome. I know when you get confirmed, if you don't have a saint to be presented with as your confirmation saint, they just present you as yourself. So you were just presented as Ricardo, which is pretty cool.
Fr. Patrick: Right on. Hey, what's your favorite book, Ricardo? 
Ricardo: So I really enjoyed reading Theology of the Body 101. Who was it — was it Christopher West, I believe? Yeah, it was just such an awesome book to read.
Emily: That’s awesome. And thanks so much for sharing those little tidbits of information to help us get to know you more. I think that it's really clear that you are living your life as a joyful missionary disciple really authentically here in the Archdiocese of Detroit. So we'd actually love to hear more about your story, kind of how you came to know and build a relationship with Christ, and then hopefully a little bit of hearing about how you witness to Christ in your life and in your work now. 
So could you start by telling us: what was your life like before encountering Christ? Were you a cradle Catholic? Did you have a conversion experience? Either in your childhood or young adulthood, but what was your life like before that moment?
Ricardo: Yeah, for sure. So I think I felt different stages in my life. So I was born and raised in Southwest Detroit. My parents come from a small town called [inaudible] and the state of [inaudible] in Mexico. [a]And so just growing up, I always had that experience of going to church on Sundays, but I never really considered myself to have like much faith, at least, you know, back then. But I was a altar boy growing up, which was interesting, but as I began getting older, around high school, I kind of just distanced myself from the faith, cared more about sports and about school, stuff like that. And then once I hit, you know, went to college, just completely separated myself from God. Back then I considered myself agnostic. I knew, or at least I believe that there was a God, but I never really believed in Christ.
And I think that a lot of it was just a bad catechism, or I never really had, you know, someone that was living out their faith that really modeled that for me. And so before coming to Christ, I just, I lived, you know, that whole college party experience where, you know, pretty much wanted to be in all the parties, be in all the, you know, the “fun places.” And at the time, you know, I was a first-generation college student. I was hoping to get into engineering just because, you know, it seemed like a good position and a good place or job opportunity that would pay some decent money, but I never was really like prepared to study for those, you know, those engineering classes with the math and the sciences, but I was like too stubborn to really accept that, you know, I just wasn't prepared.
And so during this time, I was very involved in the Latino community on campus. And so the closest thing I think that kept me on track to want to graduate was just the fact that there was a group of — like a community that kinda supported me. And that community was an organization called Alma, which is Assisting Latinos to Maximize Achievement. But behind all of this, I was continuing to party pretty much, smoke, drink all that stuff, and just kind of really just separated myself completely from God.
Fr. Patrick: Wow, Ricardo, I really think a lot of your listeners right now resonate. I know I do from my past as well. And how did you come to encounter Christ? How did it turn?
Ricardo: Yeah, so it happened through probably one of the most difficult parts in my life. So around 2015 as a result of bad grades, the party scene, I ended up developing something called psychosis, which for those who don't know what that is, it's similar to schizophrenia where you get paranoid, you get anxious, you hear voices. And so at this time, you know, just, just think about it: you're mixing alcohol, you're mixing drugs, you're mixing, you know, a kid from Southwest Detroit who really wants to be somebody in life, but has no relationship with God whatsoever. It came, there came a point in my life when I realized that God does exist. But at that point, my understanding of who Jesus was was very, like, not correct. And in the back of my mind, I was like, well, God does exist.
And based on everything that I've done with my life so far, I'm not in good relationship with him. And so, it was a very dark period in my life because that paranoia, that anxiety of feeling like I was in a bad relationship with God really kind of messed with me mentally. And I was going in and out of psychiatric hospitals because of it. But eventually it was, I think January or February —  it was early 2016. I finally, you know, — this was like the third time I had just gotten out of a psychiatric hospital. I was like, you know what? I think there needs to be a change in my life. And I remember one time I was at the University of Michigan having lunch or dinner or whatever, and I was just, you know, just eating my food and then a group of guys just approached me and they were like, “Hey, would you like to do a survey? We have these questions,” and in the back of my mind, I’m like, “You know what, I'm just trying to eat my food. I'm really not trying to help, you know, do the survey,” because for those that don't know, usually this would be a place where people who have, like, an exam or a project just asked random people for — to participate in their surveys. But I was like, “You know what, I'll do you guys the favor.” But the favor flipped, because they were actually a group of holy guys who were talking to me about God. And so they were the group of people who really introduced me to Jesus and to the Church. And so the organization that they were actually a part of is this organization called Cru, which is a Christian organization.
And so for like the next couple of weeks and months they would just invite me to some Bible study and, you know, just, every now and then just talk to me about Jesus, about the Holy Spirit, about salvation, but in the back of my mind, something just still didn't click. So I would hear them tell me and show me the Bible verses about how Jesus came and he died for me and he forgives me, but something just — I just couldn't accept that. 
And it wasn't until one of my aunts — shout out to my Aunt Maria, she just had a baby. She just had a baby not too long ago. She invited me to the Jornadas retreat. And this had been the second or third time that she had invited me. And every year I would just be like, “You know what, nah, that's boring. That's for those weird Christian kids,” you know. But this time I was finally like, “You know what, I think I need this, I definitely need this.” And so went and it was amazing. It was like, one of the most beautiful things I have ever gone through. And that's where I really encountered the love of God and where I experienced his forgiveness. And so this was in 2016 and ever since then, I've just, you know, continued to, to follow Christ as much as I can.
Emily: Ricardo, can you tell us a little bit more about what happened at the retreat? Did they have confession, adoration, small group sharing? What were some of the experiences on that retreat that really helped with that encounter?
Ricardo: I don't want to ruin the retreat for anybody that goes, but it follows a very simple format where they give you a talk, and it's all based on, you know, the teachings of the Church, and it builds up to this final talk about, you know, who you are, who you are in God's eyes, and what your mission is. And once I found out what my mission was, I just kind of felt super pumped to go — and so it, the retreat itself is four days. So you, we usually go on a Thursday and we come back, we close it off with a mass at Ste. Anne's on Sunday. And usually, this was post-COVID, there's like, you know, 15-20 young adults who are living the retreat with you. And then there's a group of, you know, maybe five to 10 people who are serving the retreat.
And so the great thing about this retreat, the Jornadas, is that it's youth driven. So it's youth evangelizing youth. And so, you know, when, when you hear the stories of other young adults who have passed through similar things as you, it just kind of — it encourages you. I think that looking back, it was never really like one specific talk that, you know, was like — it was like a switch. It was more so the whole experience overall. And I think that there's — even when I got to serve that retreat a year or two ago, I experienced a different type of joy that I had not originally felt when I lived it. And that joy felt, I would say twice as, as good as when I originally lived it myself.
Fr. Patrick: Ricardo, this is awesome. This is powerful. Jesus said it, you know, the truth when he says, “If you remain in my word will truly be my disciples and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” And you have so vulnerably shared that, you know, the struggles in the past of drinking, partying and whatnot, and how that led to a state of, you know, being unwell in your mind, you know? And I really appreciate your vulnerability. And I know that there's people listening, that they may have struggled with that mental unwellness themselves, or are praying for family members right now, and grace is substantial. It truly can change us, you know? Flowing from God's presence into ours. And I just would love to dig a little deeper and have you describe what happened in your mind when you came to — you know, those guys from Cru came and led you in this journey with Christ and, what happened in your mind as Jesus Christ, his truth, was setting you free? How did that affect your mindset, how you looked at yourself, how you looked at the world and it's brought you into like a whole new way of living and clearly, like the truth of Jesus has set you free. Just take us a little deeper into, like, what happened in the way that you thought and the way that you looked at things.
Ricardo: I think that before, you know, really understanding or having understanding of the love of God, it was really kind of difficult to accept that love, just because, I don't know, it just felt like — it didn't click for some reason, the fact that there's a God that loves me and that regardless of whatever I did with my life, he could forgive me. It just took a long time to accept. And so nothing bad about, you know, Cru, you know, they — those guys, I love them because they brought me to Christ, but there was always something missing. And what it was missing was that, that Catholic truth to the Gospel. And so I think that if — I think the hardest thing for me at the time to accept, like I said, was that God forgave me. Like, for some reason, I was just like, “You know what, I’m — perhaps Jesus that exists, you know, maybe he did. And I think maybe he did forgive a lot of people, but what I did with my life was so bad that there's no way that he could save me. Like I am beyond being redeemed. Which, you know, looking back at it, it was a bit selfish of me because it's like saying, you know, what the — what Jesus did on the cross was amazing, but it wasn't enough. And that's not a truth. That's not truth. What Jesus did brought salvation to everybody, regardless of what you do or what you did with your life. There is absolutely nothing that you could do. 
And I think that as time passed, I began to realize the importance of prayer, specifically rosaries. So I — looking back, I think that part of the reason I was able to successfully, you know, transition back into 
a normal life,” because at this time I began taking medication, I began to talk to a therapist and all of this, but I think part of the reason my life didn't go downhill after, you know, all those frequent visits to psychiatric hospitals was because there were people who were praying for me. People who — not only family members, but also people that I personally didn't even know.
And so one of the beautiful things about Jornadas is that there are people that are praying for the people that are living the retreat. So they would offer a Mass, they would offer, you know, not watching TV for a day, they would offer rosaries. They would do all of this prayer for someone else. And I think that that's one of the beautiful things about Jornadas as well, is that, you know, there's a group of people who are dedicating so much time for another person. And I think, you know, that, like I said, prayer is just amazing. And as time passed on, my prayer life only began to improve, you know, and I'm always trying to improve as well.
Emily: Ricardo, what was it — like, you've mentioned how powerful it was for prayer, for people praying for you and others who are on that retreat, but can you share on what it was like in your encounter with Christ to start praying, to start talking to God again? How did that feel and what was the journey like to go from that, to being able to feel more comfortable with prayer and to keep praying now?
Ricardo: Originally, I really didn't understand how prayer worked. And so back then, you know, maybe I would pray — this was before coming to know, God — I would pray maybe once a year, or maybe once every now and then before I went to sleep. But even then it was just very superficial, or it wasn't very like a relationship. But as time passed on, I began to realize that Jesus is someone that I could see as a brother, as someone who cares for me, as someone that I could rely on. And more recently I began really having a devotion to Our Lady and seeing her as a mother, as someone who loves me. And so, you know, once you realize that, you know, God, Jesus, Our Lady, the saints, they all genuinely care about you, it becomes so much easier to pray, because it's no longer just, you know, a prayer of just saying words, it becomes a prayer of you being vulnerable with someone who cares about you. 
And so more recently, I think my prayer life has changed a bit, just because I used to have the habit of praying daily rosary and with the Cafe con Santos podcast, we have a community on Facebook where everyday we would pray a rosary. But, about a month ago I had COVID, so my health began to get a little bit worse, so I wasn't able to pray the rosary. And for this whole time that kind of bugged me because, you know, I prayed the rosary because I love Our Lady, I love Jesus, and it's such a powerful prayer because you get to meditate on pretty much the whole life of Jesus. And for some reason, not being able to have that moment with Our Lady, you know, meditating on the Passion of Christ, it kind of hurt me. And it felt like I wasn't giving my full self. 
But t more recently I've come to learn that, you know, yes, I can't pray like I used to, but that doesn't mean that my prayer can't be as good. And so more recently, my prayers have just been a lot more silent, a lot more emotional, because although I may not be able to, you know, say a decade of the rosary, I do just have an image of Our Lady in my room, where I just look at her and it's an image of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. And so I'll take, you know, a moment of silence, just look at her, just see the warmth in her eyes, and I'll see the baby Jesus that she's holding. And then I'll see the — how she's, you know, grabbing or touching his hand and just kind of letting him know that things are going to be okay. And so my prayer, like I said, my prayer life has been a lot more emotional now just because of how things have gone, and I imagine for a lot of people through COVID have gone, but I think, you know, just, it's not — it's something that's a blessing in itself as well.
Fr. Patrick: Ricardo, you remind me of when Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are thirsty and from within you will flow life-giving streams.” I feel like us listeners right now are just at the well, drinking of God's love pouring out of you. It's awesome. I'm on a retreat right now with you, this is great. And another verse that comes to mind is — you know, as you're sharing your story, I'm listening and it reminds me of when the, you know, in the prodigal son, when the father says that, “your brother was dead and he's come back to life,” like, you have been raised, man! You've been raised to life in Christ, and it is so apparently shining off of you. And I want to ask you, the coronavirus — and we're so glad to hear you’re doing better brother — that's been a recent stumble. when you came to life and the Lord just raised you to this new life, and you were setting out in this new life as a disciple of the Lord and growing in this relationship with God and the mother, Mother Mary, that you speak of so beautifully, were there any difficulties, any big challenges? Because we know that Satan, fallen angels, like they're just bugs on the windshield when Jesus comes through, but they still cause interference, of course. When you set out to really give your life and follow Jesus, did you come across any like major challenges, any things that you had to keep persevering through with the Lord?
Ricardo: I think the biggest thing has just been my mental health. Because I continue to, you know, to take medication and, and it's, it's helped, you know, throughout the years. But throughout the year, there are just things that I cannot explain that happen, that kind of freaked me out in a way. There's always that — I feel like Satan, the enemy is always there trying to make me doubt that Jesus truly died for me or that I am saved. And you know, that's very alarming when it happens. It doesn't last for too long, but like I said, there are moments where, you know, things happen in my life, weird things that just affect my mental health, where I'm like, “You know what, what if all of this isn't real?” But fortunately it only lasts for like a moment.
And, you know, I've come to know God and Our Lady so much that I know that that's only temporary. And that, you know, the moment will pass and that regardless of how bad things get, I have a family that loves me, I have Jesus, I have Our Lady. And, you know, with them on my side, there's nothing that could beat me. Which, you know, saying it out loud, it's so much easier because when it's — when you're going through it, it’s very difficult. And sometimes I just tell myself, “Well, you know what? Use whatever you're going through and offer it for the salvation for unrepentant souls so that they can also come to know Christ.” And so, as difficult as it is, I know that there's something good that comes out of all of that pain that I experienced.
Emily: That's such a beautiful witness, Ricardo. Just your hope, and just the way that you have maintained trust in the Lord, even through all those difficulties is so inspiring. Especially, like, to me in this moment, I think, especially to people who have had a really hard year with the pandemic situation. It's just so just, yeah, really encouraging to hear you say from personal experience that acknowledging those struggles, that — and just the evil that we encounter in the world and the real struggle of sometimes doubting, if you're not feeling it in that moment, God's love, but knowing through all of that and just keeping the faith, keeping your eyes fixed on Jesus, even when you don't know if you can see him, the hope that we're not alone, and that God will never abandon you. So thanks so much for sharing that. We know that like Fr. Patrick mentioned, there's — once you encounter the Lord, it's still a constant process of growth, to grow in faith and to work on that relationship with Jesus. How are you doing that these days? Through the — especially in the past year, how have you tried to stay connected to and grow in faith through this particularly challenging year?
Ricardo: I think back when I  had an encounter with God I still had to learn to let go of a lot of things. So I lived in a  house that, every Saturday we would have a party. And so we, the Jornadas  group, we would meet every Saturday around 6:00 PM. And so I would drive from Ann Arbor to Detroit, have like an hour or two of, you know, just learning about faith, learning about Jesus, learning about how to grow as a person, you know, have this awesome moment that could be considered holy, and then I would go back to Ann Arbor to a house where there's parties, there's, you know, all the, all the vices that you could think of. And so, fortunately, you know, I was able to say, “You know what, this stuff is not for me,” but the temptation was always there.
And there were still some things in the faith that I just didn't really understand, like with the whole LGBT stuff, with stuff about sex before marriage, with abortion —  there were a lot of things that just didn't really click in. And it wasn't until, you know, once I really understood a little bit better about the faith and about the reason that we believe what we believe that I was like, you know what, this is truth. And I want to be fighting on the right side. 
But as the years passed on, I kind of just, I grew. By — just naturally, I'm a person that likes to improve on things. And so I began to, you know, serve here, serve in retreats, I began to serve in the Hispanic Youth Conference, and I began doing catechism, and I began doing so many things and I never let it make me feel arrogant, because I knew that those were all gifts that God was giving me and that, you know, I was offering back to him. But this year, once, you know, we weren't able to do as much as we wanted to. So we were preparing for the next Jornadas retreat, but given the pandemic we weren't able to serve. And so the past year, the past couple of months have been challenging because I'm so used to giving and serving and doing, you know, all these activities, that once I was placed in a situation where I couldn't do any of that, I felt kind of weird. I wasn't used to that serving God, but I've come to learn that I'm serving in a different way.
And so now I think that I really just began to appreciate the fact that this is a unique moment of you could call it purification, or a moment where God really wants me to depend more on him. ‘Cause like I said, ever since I had COVID, my health has just been low and I am not able to pray as much as I want to, I'm not able to go to as many places and share the Gospel like I used to. I can still do it, but I need to do it in a different way. And so now, I've really just been learning to accept the fact that we're in a time where we can't do what we used to. And I think it's interesting that I've been going through this during Lent — or not Lent, through Advent. ‘Cause it's like, I'm a very impatient person, but this Advent has made me wait, has made me be patient and say, “You know what, I can't do what I used to do. I am struggling, but it's a reminder that I am always in need of a savior.” And you know, I, I can't wait for Christmas just to celebrate the fact that Jesus came, he brought us salvation. And that I get to, you know, have a relationship with him. And as tedious or as boring or as — cause I don't like to feel like I bother other people, but this time is for me to receive from others. And that's the biggest thing. I've just been learning to have a disability in a way, and to accept that, that doesn't make me any less of a disciple.
Fr. Patrick: Amen, brother. Hey, you remind me, Ricardo, in Eucharistic prayer, too, there's a line in the Mass: “That having held us worthy to be in your presence and minister to you,” that hearkens back to the Old Testament when King David would hire, like — he had a fleet of musicians and their task was to minister to the Lord. And that idea of minister is to give. And so of all the beautiful ministries — and I want to ask you about this in a second — but the beautiful ministries that the Lord has given you in this time where there's been a slowdown, what you described in your prayer life earlier, just the emotion of just turning to the Lord, gazing at Mary, and letting her show you Jesus, turning to the Lord, and really the idea is thoroughly scriptural of us ministering to the Lord, which another way to say it — I mean, that can sound like, “What, how does God need my ministry to him?” But another way to say it is, you know, he's made us for love and God delights in the love that we offer back to God. So to minister to the Lord is to just simply love him back. And, “Why did you make me, God?” “I made you to live in a relationship of love with me,” to paraphrase God. 
I wanted to ask you, Ricardo, you are active in ministry, and you've been very active with the podcast and Jornadas and Corzaon Puro as I understand it as well. And, you know, what, what launched you, like — you've been following the Lord, but what launched you into ministry and to serving in the various ministries?
Ricardo: I don't know what exactly did it for me, but it was just —  it's just been a journey. So “jornadas,” when you translate it to Spanish, it's “journey.” And so it's just been my walk with Christ. And so once I experienced the Jornadas retreat, I wanted to share that love, that gift that I experienced with other people, specifically with young adults. And so I'm very passionate about the community in Southwest Detroit. I was born and raised here and I see our young adults, how they're growing, how the society is raising them and, and they’re — the society, at least from how I see it, is turning them away from God. And that hurts me because, you know, I used to be on that path that leads to destruction, you know, that path that is away from God. And I want other people to know that that's not the right path, you know? 
And so as I've come to experience retreats, I think the most recent one, or one of the most powerful ones that I experienced was with Corazon Puro over in New York. So there's, like, a group called Corazon Puro, which focuses on the teachings of John Paul II’s theology of the body and on chastity. And, you know, I think that's one of the things: once I came to love and see the beauty and chastity, I just felt like, you know, I need to bring other young adults to this. I need to bring everybody into this. And theology of the body is just so easy or so practical that you could apply it to pretty much any area of your life. And so I went to the Corazon Puro retreat last year, I think it was around September for the first stage retreat, which was amazing. And then there was a second stage retreat that happened, I think it was October, and it was also on chastity, but emotional chastity. But this retreat was a silent retreat. And so the powerful thing — and I could, I don't want to get too much into details because this story in itself could be an hour long — I had an encounter with Our Lady.
Fr. Patrick: We’ve got to hear that. Go on, keep running. 
Ricardo: So, [laughs] oh man. I think that in the Jornadas  retreat, you know, I came to know God and love him, and in the first stage of retreat in Corazon Puro, I came to learn how to worship God, but in this next one, I don't know how it happened — because during the retreat we hadn't even been talking about Our Lady. We — the topics at that point were about different subjects, but there came a point in Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament where I don't — like I said, I can’t get into the details ‘cause it's — I could take so long. I pretty much had a vision of Our Lady. You know, when they put the Blessed Sacrament in front of me, I had, you know, my eyes closed, and you know, I had a vision of a woman who was kneeling, who had like a light in her belly, who was just smiling. And I looked at her and I was like, “Who is this?” I like, it didn't click in. I just looked at her. And I was like, this woman, she, when I look at her, I feel something warm. I feel something beautiful. And then an image came up of a crown. And so in the first stage retreat, I had asked my mom, once I finished it, “Why did you name your Ricardo?” And she had said, “Because Ricardo means King.”
Fr. Patrick: Wow.
Ricardo: And so at that moment, I knew that she was, without saying words, using images, she was calling me.
Fr. Patrick: Thank you, Mary!
Ricardo: Whew, I get emotional. You're telling me.
Fr. Patrick: We praise you, Jesus, thank you for your mother Mary. That's an amazing testimony.
Ricardo: I saw that image of the crown and immediately it clicked, “Oh, snap. This is Our Lady.” And she just, she was so warm. She had, I just felt so loved. And then a second crown appeared, but this time it was a crown of thorns. And so, I mean, I still don't know — it's been a year and I still don't know what all of that meant, but  at the time, what I perceived it to be was saying that she's calling me son. She's saying that, yes, I am Ricardo. I am a king. But my real kingship, in a way, or the real thing that's going to make me a king is to put on, you know, the crown of thorns, to follow Christ, to take on that cross and to follow him. And so it was a beautiful experience.
Later on, I found out, just scrolling through the Jornadas Facebook profile pictures, I saw the image of what I had seen. And it was this photo called— I don't know how you say it in English, but it's Nuestra Senora de la Dulce Espera, it’s a painting where, it's Our Lady, she's kneeling, the painting itself is like Our Lady of Guadalupe. And you see her by a mountain, it's a very beautiful photo. And I think, like I said, I don't know what — I have no idea what all of that meant, and it might take a lifetime to really understand and appreciate it. But once I found and experienced that beauty, I just carried it on to what I do right now, which is, you know, stuff with the podcast, with the ministry, but also as a legal advocate helping victims of domestic violence. And so I don't know if I answered your question. I kind of went in different directions.
Fr. Patrick: That was wonderful Ricardo, and just — I'm going to pitch it to Emily, I think she's got the next question, but I wanted to tell you that, you know, the Archbishop has written about, in Unleash the Gospel, that martyrdom, you know, is the pattern. It's the model for discipleship, to be all in for the Lord. And that idea of the Blessed Mother showing you a couple of crowns and that you do share in the kingship of Christ in your name, even, you know, baptized priest, prophet, and king, but even your name, Ricardo, and that to be willing to bear the crown of thorns, to be conformed to Christ crucified, even, that — our own Archbishop tells us that is the model of discipleship formation, like, the pattern. I'm misquoting, I'm paraphrasing him — sorry boss. So, but yeah, that, Ricardo, that is such a beautiful revelation that you had. Thank you, brother. Emily, what's on your mind?
Emily: Yeah, Ricardo, I think that one of the things that just really has stood out in you sharing this testimony is your recognition that your own gift of faith and your knowing Jesus is a gift. It's a gift from God and it's, you know, the best gift that a person can receive. And I think that just hearing how that has changed your life, not just in that moment and for your own life, but the way you are, you know, giving witness to that, through your words here on this podcast, or just even in the way you're living out your life in your community, it's just great, I think it's a great example of unleashing the Gospel through taking your own encounter with Jesus and witnessing it in the way you live your life and in the words that you share with others. So I just want to thank you for all the time you've spent with us today to share that story. We are so grateful, and I guess I just would love to invite you — any final words you'd like to share with our listeners about your story or about the way God has changed your life, or maybe something that God's putting on your heart now to share with them, for people who, wherever they are at, in their faith journey, maybe people who have similar experiences to yours.
Ricardo: Yeah. I think two things. First, I’d just like to let anybody who doubts their salvation know that they are not — there is nothing you could have done in your life to have lost that salvation from Christ. You could have done a lot of harm to people. You could have sold your soul. You could have done the worst of the worst. Jesus Christ can redeem you. He will forgive you of your sins. And you too can one day be in heaven. So that's the first.
And then the second thing is — I think I struggle with this and every now and then, I struggle with the idea of feeling, you know, the love of God. And doubting or asking Jesus, “Do you really love me? Why am I going through this difficult thing?” I think one small thing that you could do is to spend a minute just looking at a crucifix, seeing Jesus nailed on the cross, and just taking in all of the pain that he went through, meditating on his Passion, and realize that he would not have done that if he didn't love you. And so if you're listening to this, Jesus loves you beyond anything that you could comprehend. You are loved. You are a beloved son, you are a beloved daughter, and there is life and you can have life, and you can also join the saints in heaven.
Fr. Patrick: Ricardo, you just preach the Gospel beautifully. And I just want to give people an opportunity to respond to that. And Revelation chapter 19, verse 10 tells us that the witness to Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. When we witness, when we give testimony like you have given to what Jesus has done, it prophesies what he will do again, because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And so for every listener out there, I want to invite you to respond. It's either for yourself or for somebody else. If you yourself, or anybody, you know of experiences like unworthiness, a sense of unworthiness, that there's stuff — I go to confession, but there's some stuff I don't confess because “I don't know if he can…” or if you confessed and you're like, “I don't know if he's really forgiving me of that.” Any sense of unworthiness for yourself or anybody else you know that wrestles with that, I just want to invite you to put a hand on your heart. And also for anyone who struggles with any mental unwellness, either for you or for somebody you know — in the Catholic faith, we have proxies where if a godfather can't make it to the baptism, someone shows up and is a proxy. They stand in their place. And it's a beautiful thing. So just put a hand on your heart. Any sense of unworthiness for you or somebody else, any struggle with doubts, any mental unwellness, just put a hand on your heart for a second. And Ricardo, I'm just going to ask you to say a prayer for everybody out there, that — who's heard your testimony, that what Jesus did for you, he'd do it again for those with a hungry heart right now for it. It's all you, Ricardo.
Ricardo: Lord, I thank you for this time. I thank you for allowing me to share my testimony through this podcast. I thank you for all the listeners and I pray for them. For everybody who's going through a really difficult time. Perhaps someone that has lost a family member, perhaps someone who themselves is struggling with mental health. Lord, I ask that you heal them, that you let them know that they're not alone, that you have a plan for them. Please also let them know that while it may be difficult to understand why things are happening, to never forget that with you, we cannot lose. We cannot fail. And I asked that you bring peace to their hearts. 
Dios te salve, Maria. Llena eres de gracia: El Seńor es contigo. Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres. Y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre: Jesús. Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte. Amén. En el nombre del Padre, del Hijo, del Espiritu santo, amen.
Fr. Patrick: Man, that was powerful. Thank you, Ricardo. 
Emily: Thank you so much, Ricardo, and thank you, Fr. Patrick. 
I want to thank our listeners for listening to Open Door Policy today. You can subscribe and find more episodes at unleashthegospel.org/podcasts, Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
 


[a]Insert geography later, Maggie!