Emily:
Welcome, and thanks for tuning into another episode of Open Door policy. I'm your host, Emily Mentock.
Fr. Patrick:
And I'm your co-host Fr. Patrick Gonyeau.
Emily:
Thanks so much for joining us today. And Fr. Patrick, how are you?
Fr. Patrick:
Doing wonderful, Emily. It's about 50 degrees on this day that we're getting to record this particular installation of Open Door Policy. And I'm so grateful for the new life in the air that's the first signs of spring. Green things starting to sprout up a little bit. How are you doing Emily?
Emily:
I'm doing well. Yeah. The hope of spring coming is definitely here. And related to that, this past weekend another thing to be hopeful for, the end of the general dispensation here. So we are asking joyful missionary disciples to make their return to Mass. Did you see any larger numbers or anything like that? People celebrating the return to Mass at Corpus Christi this past weekend?
Fr. Patrick:
Yes, we have seen, over the last several weekends, the numbers starting to grow and it's a wonderful experience when celebrating the Mass to know there's more. There's more. And then when we sing under our masks, to hear the bride of Christ, the Church singing, there's just something so sweet about it. And a couple of weeks ago I just had to stop. There was one particular part that we'd sung and my heart was just arrested by the beauty of the bride of Jesus. And I had asked him, "Can we do that one more time?" It just sounded so beautiful. So it has been wonderful to see more coming back and we are now bringing back another Sunday Mass that we had previously put on hiatus because we didn't have the numbers. Very exciting. We're thrilled. And how about you, Emily and your Sunday Mass attendance? Have you seen more people in the pews around you?
Emily:
You know, I can't say that this first weekend back there was noticeably more people. Yeah, I go to St. Aloysius in downtown Detroit, so we're kind of small and, you know, nowhere near that 50% capacity, but it was, I just did feel a sense of hope in coming back, even as Fr. Mario, our pastor, was welcoming people and reminding them of all the safety precautions just to know that we are back to fulfilling our Sunday obligation, so that was really exciting.
Fr. Patrick:
Well, let me put you on the spot for a minute sister in Christ. It's our Lenten journey. There you go, there's a little lead time. Our Lenten journey is drawing so close to Holy week and Easter. What's been one of the graces of your Lenten season that you say, "Yes, that has worked. Thank you, Jesus."?
Emily:
When you say Lenten season, do you mean just Lent 2021 or the Lent we've been living since the last time? [laughs]
Fr. Patrick:
Oh my gosh. [laughs].
Emily:
No, I'm just kidding. So for this Lenten season there's, oh gosh, there's so many graces, but I'm going to highlight one in particular. So what I was doing for sort of my prayer was a Lenten sort of, I guess, Bible study, saint study that I was invited to do with a group of girls that — actually Beth Alison, our previous guest, she was the one who invited me. And that has been a real blessing, not only from the actual prayer of walking through the stories of the saints and the Bible readings that we're doing to go along with it. But just to have the community of some people to pray with and be with that I've been blessed to be welcomed into since I moved to Detroit. That has just been the greatest blessing because, you know, just in focusing and my relationship with the Lord since being called here and called to serve the Church here, it's like, "Okay, Lord, I'll do it no matter what, through all this suffering it's worth it, because I know with all my heart, this is where you want me to be. But to have just a group of women to do some of that journeying has been a great blessing. So yeah, that's what I would mention.
Fr. Patrick:
When I asked the question, I thought when I was asking, "Oh my gosh, Beth Allison, when she mentioned recently in that group, you're in, I bet that's been a huge grace." So there it is. Praise God. Mine really briefly was — it might sound small, but I just wanted to go to bed more prayerful. Just go to bed more prayerful, soaking in the Lord. And and then a couple of days after Lent started, somebody gave me a gift who came to Church and it was, it's a little statue of Jesus sleeping. And I was like, all right, confirmation, Lord! We're going to teach me how to, you know, go to bed. Well, I think that, you know, the idea of like divine rest and opening our heart and our mind to really the gift of divine rest and letting the Lord speak to us in our dreams and, you know, getting refreshed, having a really good night's sleep so we can continue to love the Lord through the day too. So that's been a grace. Hasn't been perfect, but that's been a grace.
Emily:
Well, it's a good reminder of a, of a grace that the Lord can give, especially this week. I think everyone's struggling from Daylight Savings, and just a reminder that, ah, yes, the Lord does desire us to rest well.
Fr. Patrick:
Amen, sister. And they did come to Church, but yeah, there were definitely some some late folks coming through. We had a good laugh about it, like, hey it's okay. Well, speaking of grace, I have the joy of introducing our guests this week who are just two awesome, awesome disciples of Jesus that Jesus called to be husband and wife, Jordan, and Napoli Beachnau join us. And Jordan, I met several years ago, I think at a YCP event, Young Catholic Professionals Detroit, as just an on-fire disciple of Jesus and he converted to the Catholic faith, we'll hear some of that. And a former college football player and just a great guy. So passionate for Jesus. From the time I met him, I thought this guy is awesome. And then God gave him the most amazing gift, this amazing wife, Napoli Beachnau, and Napoli, from the time I met her, I remember she prayed for me.
Fr. Patrick:
The first time I met her, they prayed together for me and Napoli went to pray and I just said, Whoa, like, you know, mighty woman of God, you know? Just an awesome daughter of God and has a heart for, beautiful heart for people, works in speech pathology. And both of them are passionate for Jesus and so active in the Church and their marriage just a little over a year old, now — I was at their wedding. It was so beautiful. Their marriage is, yeah, their marriage is beautiful and they take their vocation so seriously, I have a great story, I think maybe some of that will come out tonight. So welcome Napoli and Jordan without further ado.
Jordan:
Thank you so much, Father Patrick for having us.
Napoli:
That was such a nice intro.
Fr. Patrick:
Three fun facts. Hey, you walked the Camino, Jordan. Did, was Napoli on the Camino with you?
Jordan:
Camino was with Napoli and fourteen other of our friends and Fr. Paul Snyder and Fr. Steve.
Napoli:
Yeah, shout out to the Camino crew.
Emily:
Did you do all of it or a portion of it or?
Jordan:
We did 160 miles? So that's only a portion. Believe it or not, but we were walking for 11 days, 160 miles through the Northwest parts of Spain. Yeah. It was an incredible experience.
Napoli:
I don't know how we did that. God's grace.
Fr. Patrick:
One of the fun facts for you Napoli is you took hip hop dance lessons for six years.
Napoli:
I did. Yeah. And I actually it was like as an adult too, but I've always loved dancing. I took ballet for a little bit when I was little, but then when I was like 18 and at Wayne State, I told my mom I'm like, I really want to take dance classes. And so I found I found this hip hop class that was actually like almost an hour away from home, which is crazy, but I really feel like that was totally the Lord leading me because my instructor was just this amazing instructor who ends up being one of my dear friends and kind of just taught me technique, but really taught me to kind of be myself and individualize dance. And it was so much fun. So
Fr. Patrick:
Jordan, does it ever get broken out around the house?
Jordan:
Oh yeah.
Emily:
Dance arties at home. Yeah. At home are such a great stress reliever. Well, we're so glad to be joined by both of you today. And so you go from, you know, some incredible experiences like walking the Camino or even just that you mentioned Napoli and that you had, that you felt called through dance even, but how did you guys, how would you describe the start of your journey as joyful missionary disciples? How, what got you on that path to where you are today?
Jordan:
Yeah, so I'll just do my story really briefly for an individually, but it actually leads beautifully, actually, into our vocation as husband and wife. So I grew up with no faith or religion at all. I played as Fr. Patrick said, I played football at Grand Valley in college. And you know, I was in and out of a nondenominational church there. And when I started with Deloitte as an auditor in Detroit, I started going to a large non-denominational church here outside of Detroit with my sister and one day my sister was like, hey, I've never been baptized. And I don't have, and I've never had a relationship with Jesus, and I want to have the faith that my family has. And that's her husband and her daughters now, praise God, are Catholic. So she's like, I'm going to join the RCIA program at St.
Jordan:
Mary's in Royal Oak. And that's Fr. Paul Snyder. And she's like, you want to join with me? And I was like, heck no, but she was like, you know, RCIA is seven months long and you know like, this is for discernment essentially. And so I went and I mean, Jesus radically transformed my life, starting in that whole process and reading, you know, listening and reading to, you know, Fr, John Riccardo, Dr. Scott Hahn, and all these people who converted to the Catholic faith and reading the Church fathers and just fell in love with the Catholic faith. And Easter of 2017, I came into the faith, so coming up on four years. And so, yeah, me and my sister came in together and then got really involved in the church with Young Catholic Professionals and that's how I met Fr. Patrick in 2017. And then after that, that fall and going into 2018, got really involved in just evangelization and ministry and with Encounter ministries moving up to you know, to Brighton, Michigan and St. Paul Street, Evangelization moving to Detroit, and then Blessed Solanus Casey getting beatified and an incredible Archbishop Vigneron releasing, Unleash the Gospel, like unbelievable things happening in Detroit. I'm a spoiled Catholic.
Jordan:
And and then so through that, I really like, from what Jesus did for me, I kind of think of any other way to serve him to become a priest. So I started like really discerning and and actually, you know, at right after Napoli and I saw each other again, and — so we met each other in college in 2014 and 15 at Grand Valley. And we lived in the same apartment complex and were just friends, amongst friends. And then she came to a Young Catholic Professionals event in the end of 2017, saw each other there, and right after that, when we became really good friends, that's actually when I took my discernment for the priesthood actually the most serious. And she was one of my best friends who I would like call and talk to her about. I was calling her from the seminary like, "I love it here! This has been amazing."
Jordan:
And but I was actually shorting myself because I was, like, believing in a lie that I couldn't be a good husband because of things I've done in my past and just, like, broken relationships that I've experienced, you know? And actually right before the Camino de Santiago in June of 2018, we went to — me, Napoli and two other of our friends went to Paris, Lisieux, and Lourdes. And I had a very powerful encounter with Mary at Lourdes and she revealed my vocation, revealed things about my parents and my family, and, praise God, like, she told me about my parents just really quick. She said, pray the rosary every single day and love them. The next year they both came into the Catholic Church.
Emily:
Praise God, oh my God!
Jordan:
And then, you know, she revealed my vocation and you know, I told Mary right then and there, I was like, if I'm called to be a husband and a father, I heard her say father too. And we'll get to that story, praise Jesus. But and when I heard her say that, I was like, okay, like Mary, I need to be a better man. I'm like, I need purity. I need, you know, I want to be a pure man. And three things happen simultaneously, which is like the climax of this encounter with her. My heart got extremely hot and like the heat like went throughout my whole chest and she gave me an image of white blossoming roses. And I heard, she heard her say, my son has made you pure.
Fr. Patrick:
Praise God.
Jordan:
And like, after that, you know, just like accepting like my vocation, like the calling of like hearing Jesus's voice and his truth for my life and for Napoli's life, like, there was just no better, you know, there's —yeah, that's a testimony in itself is just like, Jesus is grace from you know, one of my favorite scripture passages, Galatians 5:1, for freedom, Christ has set us free. Like, he didn't just set me free from something, he set me free for something. And it's part of that is, you know, primarily that is like, you know, being in this unbelievable marriage with Napoli and being able to walk heaven every single day in our, in our marriage.
Napoli:
His story is so cool that I feel so lame going after.
Fr. Patrick:
Come on. He was lame until he met you. I knew him before he met you. Side note, Jordan's a dear friend and so is Napoli. They're my friends. So, Jordan that's so powerful.
Jordan:
I used to be a nerd Fr. Patrick.
Napoli:
Don't believe that.
Jordan:
Maybe don't put that out there,
Fr. Patrick:
Before we pitch it over to you, Napoli, for, we'd love to hear, you know, your journey to becoming a joyful missionary disciple. It sounds like we're going to need to be able to get the story after that, about how the Lord brought you two together. But Jordan, I just want to thank you for sharing that testimony about praying the rosary for your mother and your father and the effect of that. And everybody who's listening out there, you don't have to sign on any dotted line, but you can, if you want. That I just was so moved that, you know, thinking of my family and my friends and like the people that I commit today, Jordan, after hearing that, I felt that conviction of just, yes, take up the rosary every day for your family and your friends, for them to receive the gift of really the gift of the Eucharist and all the riches of the Catholic faith, but the Eucharist of course, being like the Most Blessed Sacrament. So Jordan, thank you for that. Napoli. Tell us about your journey of being a joyful missionary disciple.
Napoli:
Well, the Lord has blessed me. I seriously think that I have parents that are worthy of heaven. And I know that that was something that Saint Therese said and like St. Louis and Zelie are amazing, just like very important people, spiritual aunts and uncles in my life. So I know that that's pretty powerful to say, but I really do believe that. My parents always brought us up in the Church and faith was extremely important, and both my parents were not born in Michigan. They were actually born back home in Baghdad. So coming over here my mom would listen to Drew Mariani and John Cruse on Catholic Radio. And then we would be in the back seat of the van, just like listening to the Divine Mercy of the rosary over and over, and somewhat getting annoyed because we didn't really understand the beauty of it.
Napoli:
Right? But then as we grew older, just like, now as I'm older, I'm able to really reflect back and see how my mother was just such a beautiful witness to the Lord. And I would tell Jordan how she would like have all the kids on the block over for pizza and for food and ice cream. But before we did that, she would have these printouts of the rosary. So all of these kids would be at our house, praying the rosary. And they didn't really care 'cause we're kids, as long as we get food and ice cream after, you know?
Napoli:
But I feel like the Lord has always placed this love for people on my heart and has allowed me in so many different ways to encounter people and really just have these like beautiful encounters, whether it's — like dance really did that for me too. You know? It's just, like, encountering people through all different paths of life who maybe were not raised Catholic or even know anything about faith, but you just know that have such a deep thirst for the Lord. And so Jesus has just kind of always been, like, knocking on my heart and tugging on my heart to love people more. And that's something that I've just always prayed for a greater grace to have. And I would say that there isn't even just this, like, one peak in my life where I just was like, "Oh Jesus, is there."
Napoli:
I've been so overly spoiled that the Lord has constantly been tugging at my heart. And then I've always, I just, haven't always known that it's been him, you know? But I would say that Jesus gave me this incredible spiritual director who just really walked with me in my journey and really open so many different — like opened my heart and my mind to so much and allowed me to realize that the Lord was pursuing me in so many different ways. And then because of so much healing that was able to occur my heart and my eyes were open. And that discernment of a marriage was something that was so real. And I actually totally thought for the longest time, the Lord was calling me to become a nun. And I remember literally thinking like, Jesus are, you sure know what you're doing? You know, do you remember how crazy I am?
Napoli:
And the Lord just was doing so many beautiful things in my life. And it would be something as simple as just encountering the true beauty of a smile, or it would be something as profound as somebody sharing what I now know would be like a prophetic word, you know? But just the Lord being so gentle with me and even just this image of like him pursuing me like a suitor or like just like a very classic — I love dance, so I think of like a classic waltz, and I feel like the Lord has always just been so gentle with me. And he's been preparing me until he turned me over to my best dance partner, Jordan.
Napoli:
And he's been so, so good, like so good to us in so many different ways. But just growing to like love people, I think is the best way to encounter Jesus. Through people.
Jordan:
You won't meet too many other people who love like Napoli loves.
Jordan:
I remember when I was actually discerning and like, [laughs] it was funny. Like, we would go, like, out to eat and I would just like, talk about Jesus, like what he's doing and all these things. And I remember one of the first times I started journaling, I wrote in my journal, "Wow. Napoli is a true disciple of Jesus," because I've never seen somebody love people. Like she calls every single person by name, like, wants to know them. Like, you know, the waiter or waitress are always like blindsided by that, you know? Like they're like, whoa, like no one ever asks me that and like, mean it like, and like Napoli's love for people, it's like, it's transformative. It's transformative.
Emily:
That's so awesome. Yeah. It's so clear. In just even hearing you share this, both of you, just that love and joy that you have. So we've heard about, you know, the love and joy that you've experienced in your personal relationships with the Lord, but obviously also as referencing your beautiful marriage there's a lot of love for each other as well. So I would love to hear from you guys, how were you brought together as Fr. Patrick has sort of teased throughout this episode so far. And how do you encounter Christ now through each other?
Jordan:
When we go back to December 7th, 2019, when we were at St. Mary's Catholic Church and we were being — and you know, we had a Chaldean liturgy and it was so beautiful and so rich, like, there was a palpable touch of like, just like the Holy Spirit was just like, so present. So present that day. And it was so clear to us that even before that, when we were just discerning that, like, okay, if we're called some marriage, we are not called to a normal what earthly marriages would look like, you know? And we're called for so much more. And we're called to — the night before our wedding. I remember Jesus telling me, like, I want your marriage to have other people say, look at how they love each other. And that's like how the first Christians would, like, evangelize other, like people around the Christian community would say like, "Look at how they love each other.
Jordan:
Like nobody loves like they do." And so but yeah, so like once we got into marriage, like off of those graces of the the unbelievable sacrament of marriage and through, you know, incredible discernment and you know, just guidance from our priest friends and we love administering to priests, but also we're we're so blessed to have so many good priest friends and everybody to guide us. And to truly like to be like, Christ loves the Church, you know, who died for her and like, to really like yield to the Spirit at all times. And I didn't know what humility looked like until I was married, you know? And I remember even our first two weeks of marriage, I realized how much I talked my prayer because of how much I talked to her.
Jordan:
Like, I didn't listen, like I need to listen. So but yeah, like just all these things that the Lord wants to reveal to bring us more, to make us more alive for each other and with each other and to live in the joy of the sacrament of marriage. And so doing things together, doing things that are uncomfortable, she does so many things for me that I'll never even know because her heart is always just like in a heart of service and stewarding to other people. And I'm just so blessed that I get to be the primary one every day, but really just finding small ways of just like doing things together, praying together, ministering to each other, going to Adoration and Mass together and praying the rosary together and Confession together. And yeah, just every day to make a decision that like, Jesus is calling me to love her like he loves his bride, the Church. And yeah, what flows from that is for us, our marriage to bear our loudest Gospel message is what we pray every single day is that our marriage would be our loudest Gospel message, and we'll make it our first ambition and greatest passion.
Fr. Patrick:
Amen.
Jordan:
And that's what we strive for.
Napoli:
Yeah. And I think just this like idea of knowing that the Lord has gifted us to one another as like his — we are earthly bodies of Jesus to one another, you know, like that realization right there, it was just so trippy because then it really puts so much more accountability for each of us and I'm nowhere near perfect and I just feel like the Lord is so good that he has even found me worthy of such a husband. And sometimes it's just overwhelming, you know, and just knowing that Jesus — like the Abba saw everything. He saw everything that was going to happen. He knows everything that's going to happen for the rest of our lives. And even in just like the first few months of our marriage, we were put to a pretty, like a trial, you know something that I wouldn't have anticipated. I know Jordan wouldn't have, but knowing that the Lord gave me Jordan, because he knew that it was with Jordan and through Jesus that we would be able to get through this. And that gift is like, there's really not a way to articulate that outside of praising Jesus.
Jordan:
Jesus is calling me to love her like he loves his bride, the Church. And yeah, what flows from that is for us, our marriage to be our loudest Gospel message, what we pray every single day is that our marriage would be our loudest Gospel message, and we'll make it our first and greatest passion.
Fr. Patrick:
Now, my first major in college was journalism, I have some questions. Okay, here we go. So back to the Camino and I just love what you said about the marriage too, that it's our greatest ambition and our first ambition and our greatest passion that our marriage would be the loudest Gospel message we have. Our first ambition, our greatest passion. I just feel like someone out there is going to write that down and put it on their fridge. Our first ambition, our greatest passion.
Napoli:
We have it on our fridge, no big deal. [laughs]
Fr. Patrick:
Glory to God. All right. So take us back to the Camino, 'cause you were both on it. Jordan, Mother Mary revealed your vocation to you, and I'm privy that actually, you actually had a different look in your eyes after that that'll probably be part of this portion of the story, I can't remember exactly how that went, but it was on that Camino journey that God did that for you, but he also did open stuff for you Napoli. And tell us a little more what God did on that and that trip that I would call like vocation revelation pilgrimage.
Napoli:
Yeah, definitely. Well, here's the thing, though. I think before I went on Camino, I was just anticipating that it was going to be this very beautiful journey of all of this, like these lovely revelations from the Lord where I would just be walking and even if it would be difficult, I'd have a huge smile on my face. And what the Lord really did, which now looking at it was the most beautiful revelation of all, is that he revealed these wounds on my heart and a lot of hurt on my heart that he wanted to heal. And so actually Camino was not just physically exhausting for me, but it was quite an emotional journey because it was a time where the Lord was revealing a lot of hurt on my heart that was inhibiting me from drawing closer to him.
Napoli:
And it's crazy because a lot of the hurt on my heart was just past wounds from relationships and from friendships and lies that I believed in and that the Lord just really wanted to heal before entering into this beautiful relationship with Jordan. And even though at the time we were technically dating I would say that the Lord was just giving Jordan extra dosage of patience and love and kindness with me because I wasn't necessarily the easiest person to deal with. But I just really feel like Jesus was revealing these hurts in my heart and these lies because he wanted them exposed to heal. And so when that started and having this just amazing spiritual director who really helped walk me through that, I feel like then when Jordan and I were able to kind of get back home and begin really intentionally dating that it was just such a beautiful foundation because we were both so real and raw with each other.
Napoli:
And there wasn't the sense of, like, me feeling like I had to hide because the foundation of our friendship was always Jesus. And so being able to talk about things such as wounds or lies that we believed in, it was so easy to be honest because of Jesus. The process was not easy. I'm not going to sit here and say like that it was easy, but it was easier because of Jesus. Everything was so much easier, so much more authentic because of Jesus. And I really believe that God gave Jordan the graces that he needed to be that man to walk with me, you know, and to physically walk with me on Camino, but also to just journey for the rest of our life.
Napoli:
I mean, it was a beautiful experience looking back at it, but it was very hard when I was, you know, on it. But don't get me wrong, like, there was so much joy in that, you know, so many moments when I realized that the Lord was revealing these things and he was revealing them to heal them, not to rub them in my face or like to make me feel bad about it or anything, he was revealing it to heal them. And so once you have that experience, you realize you're still close to the doctor and you're getting your medication and then it's going to be great, you know? And and that sets such a beautiful foundation, I think, for the remainder of our dating, engagement and marriage, because there was things that continue to kind of come up and Jordan, and I just knew, okay, well, we turn to the Lord. Like that just has to be what we do, 'cause I don't know what I'm doing. You are amazing. But also like without Jesus, we're nothing, so we just kind of would turn to the Lord. And so that was just, that was definitely a very quick early-on lesson I think Jesus wanted us to be familiar with.
Fr. Patrick:
What an awesome layer to the pilgrimage, the vocation revelation pilgrimage, like God was giving your heart inner healing from different things. And I remember, Jordan, at one point, hearing that after Mother Mary revealed your vocation to you, like, instantly, you lit up toward Napoli. God gave you sight for her. Tell us about that. That's when Adam said, "At last, this one is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh." Seriously, when Mother Mary told you your vocation, like — Napoli, you saw it, if I recall correctly, "he was looking at me different," take it, Jordan.
Jordan:
That's hilarious. So actually leading up to that point at Lourdes, the month prior, before we were leaving for the Camino the Lord — well, actually probably two months before that, the Lord started revealing more and more about marriage to me specifically. And I just kept pushing them away, like out there for somebody else. And my whole idea was the Camino was actually for my discernment. I told the — like I wanted to, like, I just wanted to be that time of like, after the Camino is going to be a clear path forward. Like, I'm either going to go to seminary or I'm not. And this happened before the Camino even happened, because the Lord wanted to do so much more in the Camino of not being so caught up in just like, you know, deciding or discerning my vocation, it's actually to, yeah, all these beautiful things that the Lord wanted to do.
Jordan:
So even before that, once we got to Lourdes and when I you know, heard what Mother Mary said, and Napoli was actually kneeling right next to me at the grotto, and like, she was just obviously completely highlighted to me and like, and you know, like, we were really good friends. So, like, I had this, like, you know, attraction to her and affection for her and this love for her, but I just like would like ignore all of it, you know, because I'm like, "I have my eyes like set towards this vocation that I want." And so in that moment, like, when I heard Mother Mary, like she said, trust in the revelation, trust in the revelations. And, and then she revealed to me to be a husband and a father. And when I, like, received that, like this, this piece that you can never describe to somebody occurred, you know, and there, like, Napoli was highlighted.
Jordan:
And and obviously she's been, like, she's, you know, the woman that's like on my heart. And so like, honestly right after that, we went into the baths at Lourdes and then I went and told Natalie what happened. And and honestly that's even more so of when that true discernment towards marriage happens for both of us, was over the course of, you know, after that of like, okay, we're going to intentionally together, walk this journey together and discern, and and we're not going to, you know, we're not going to be alone in this. We're — It's me and you and Jesus walking together.
Emily:
We've heard this beautiful story from you guys. Thank you so much for sharing it. And, you know, I think it's so joyful and full of love and hope, and I'm sure there are some listeners right now who might feel like, wow, these are just perfect people, walking saints! But I mean, and marriage is such a beautiful vocation and the discernment to get there is such a gift. But for — I mean, I'm married and maybe my marriage is just different, but there's challenging moments too. So I don't know, would you guys be comfortable sharing how you rely on Jesus, not just for all of those gifts and the happy moments and finding each other, but you can — just how sometimes, how you've relied on Jesus or grown in your faith through some of the more challenging moments of your, either personal relationship with him or in your marriage.
Jordan:
Yeah. And Napoli has, you know, a beautiful story that she can share, but even just like on a day-to-day basis, like, I have a lot of pride in my heart and I have, you know, and like I'm a person that takes, like, improvement points as criticisms. And like, I can't like, let it go, you know? So like, but like Christ and what he's doing in my heart, he's just even more so, like, showing me what true, authentic love looks like. And and you know, like I pray for humility, but what I'm truly like praying for is an authentic love, which if perfect love contains humility. So and like, you know, first Corinthians, it says like, love does not insist on its own ways. And to really be like sold out for Jesus and for Napoli, like for her to live every single day, like to live her dreams, to know that she's supported, loved cherish, pursued all those things that she's felt from God, that she would experience that through me.
Jordan:
And I'm a very broken person with a lot of like pride in my heart and it's not easy to do, but like, what I found is just like, when I make that decision to truly lose my life for the sake of the Gospel, for the sake of love for another, like, that's truly when we find it and find Christ. And so like when I can just like, let go and like, you know, crucify the flesh in me and like yield to the Spirit in my marriage, that's when we become full alive, full of joy, full of hope and all of these things. And yeah, and you know, there's been, you know, numerous tough conversations and, and you know, and disagreements and that we've had to work through. And it's still, you know, a day to day decision to make. And moment to moment. So, and honestly, that's another beautiful thing of like, you know, our first year we were in quarantine, COVID-19 right? And people are like, Oh, that's so tough. And we had trips planned and we were going to have so much fun, but like Christ wanted us to live like the Holy Family of Nazareth, just like in the poverty of our home of just like me, Napoli together, like living communion together and make that the most joy-filled spirit filled day to day with each other in our marriage.
Napoli:
Yeah. That's so beautiful.
Fr. Patrick:
That was marriage training camp right there.
Napoli:
And I just want to like say for any listeners that are out there that are thinking kind of, like you said, Emily, like, Oh, they're, that sounds so perfect. And it's, it's not. Here's the thing, the reality is that Jordan and I, if it was just us, Oh my gosh. I mean, this is what I've never, we wouldn't be sitting here before you guys right now. It's Jesus. And I think that the more that we begin to really understand that, that, like, we literally cannot do anything without the Lord, the more that our relationship becomes stronger because — and there's, I feel like there's times where we think that like, we're like, no, no, no, we're totally like, we're praying about this. Or I'm praying my, you know, 54 day novena to find my future husband or my future wife or whatever it is.
Napoli:
And you like, think, like, in the books, I'm doing everything right. But I realized that in marriage, even engagement and dating, there is no playbook. It literally is just Jesus. And so there is like a very visible, notice a difference in Jordan and I, when we are —when we have like received the sacraments, when our prayer life is on fire, when we feel the closest to Jesus, or even if we don't feel the closest to Jesus, when we're striving to grow closer to Jesus. I can tell you moments in our relationship that have been the strongest, because we're the closest to Jesus in those moments. It's not because he gets me the cutest flowers or writes me a beautiful card. It's because of the way that the Lord prompts his heart and strengthens him. And the way that the Lord, you know, prompts my heart to serve Jordan. So I just want to say, like, if anyone's listening to this and they're like, that would never happen. I'd never go to Lourdes. I'd never have an encounter with Mary.
Fr. Patrick:
[laughs]
Napoli:
I just want to say, like grow close to Jesus and let him dance with you and lead you to your future spouse, because it is so much more than what the world wants to offer you. It's so much more than just, like I said, praying these novenas or whatever it is like, Jesus is so good and desires so much joy for you, so just turn to him so that he can lead you to someone.
Napoli:
Because he led me straight to Jordan.
Emily:
What a gift!
Napoli:
Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm so grateful.
Emily:
All right. Thanks so much for sharing that. And Jordan, we've heard you share that your vocation that Mary gave a big revelation, that's playing out in reality in some pretty impactful ways with the conversion of your parents and finding Napoli, but you also revealed that you are going to be a father and, Napoli, we saw in some of the questions you filled out for us ahead of time that you're also a Creighton practitioner. So without obviously getting into too many details, but how are you guys sort of emerging through that vocation of marriage and to also discerning now being parents?
Napoli:
Thank you so much. So I do want to clarify I'm a practitioner intern, 'cause I'm still in the program, but God willing, I pass my boards in November or like the winter, and then I will be a practitioner. Yeah. Shout out to anyone that uses any form of NFP or any of that. That's awesome. But you know what, I will just have to say that journey has been a very beautiful journey. It has been a very difficult journey as well. So when Jordan and I got engaged, part of our marriage prep obviously was to do a sort of like NFP course. And I'm so grateful for my husband because he totally researched everything and was like, Hey, I think Creighton would be the best method for us. And we should look into this. And so we were able to find a class and we took the course and then began to start charting. And for anyone who's not familiar with natural family planning, it's there is several different ways of charting.
Napoli:
But essentially natural family planning is a method of charting various biomarkers which can be anything from like your cervical mucus to your temperature to a bunch of other really cool ways that I'm not as familiar with because I'm more familiar with Creighton. But it helps to identify fertility so that women and couples that are trying to conceive are able to to do so naturally and morally, but also empowering the woman and the couple as well. So basically through charting, I was able to notice that there were some concerns just within the way that I was charting. So what's really beautiful is Creighton is one of the only methods of natural family planning that looks at both fertility, but also looks at your gynecological and reproductive health. So through charting and through help of my practitioner, she was able to help me identify that there was some red flags for a few different concerns.
Napoli:
And obviously it would have to work closer with a doctor to figure out what those were. But essentially it kind of started this journey in the end of March ,or — end of March, I'm sorry —January of 2020 of meeting with doctors and trying to figure out what was going on in my body and essentially through charting, and I was able to find out that I had almost like a cantaloupe-sized pelvic mass, and it sounds kind of crazy, but I never would have expected to have that. Like most people you would think would be like, wouldn't, you know if something was wrong with your body. But no, I didn't. And it was just such a blessing that the Lord was able to reveal truth to me, but by truth that was natural, you know, and truth that I was able to be empowered with because I was responsible for my charting and my husband and I were charting together.
Napoli:
And this was a decision that we wanted to make together. So essentially I had a few different doctor's appointments back to back, and then March 18th of 2020 had surgery to remove this mass. And it was very scary. It's crazy because it's just two days away. Right? Like, the anniversary, right, was two days away. And I remember that our surgeon, God bless him, he is a very matter of fact kind of guy. And I remember one thing that he said to us was we may have to remove more than just like the mass, you know, it just depends on what, you know, it depends on what we see when we go in there. And I just remember thinking, like, I remember looking at Jordan thinking, you know, what could that possibly mean? And we're just going to trust the Lord because literally we found out that there was a mass on like a Friday, Monday blood work came back and we had to have surgery immediately Tuesday.
Napoli:
We found surgeon, we found a surgeon, praise God, who was local. And then he scheduled us for the following week. So there wasn't really too much processing time, which is such a grace. I know that the Lord was doing that very intentionally. And I just remember going in that morning and it was like, right when COVID a lot of shutdowns were really beginning to happen. And so Jordan couldn't come in the back and pre-op with me, and it was like the first time that I actually felt kind of afraid. And, and then just like telling Jesus and giving it to Jesus and saying like, "You know what you're doing Lord, and we're just offering this to you and I'm scared as ever, but I'm just, I trust you. And I'm going to say that I trust you, even if I don't fully trust you, because I know that you're with us."
Napoli:
And I remember waking up from surgery and just like wanting my husband, and Jordan came in the room and and I remember one of the things that he had said to me was that they did end up removing a little bit more. And I know that this is personal, but I really just want to do this to glorify Jesus, but like they removed my right ovary and my right fallopian tube as well. And it was like, it was really, it kind of like sucked for a moment and, you know, thinking about it. But I just remember saying like, well, praise God, because the truth is like,
Napoli:
I know that the Lord has called me to be a mother. And so it was just a matter of, of trusting him and knowing that he was going to take care of it, you know? And but I just remember thinking like, I can't believe that this has all happened really within just the first few months of our marriage. And there was so many like body, bodily difficulties and complications and everything. Like, I know everyone thinks like the first year of your marriage is like supposed to be so romantic and passionate and all of these things, and for the majority of that time, Jordan, I was very sick and I'm like, Jordan would come and sit in the bathroom with me as I was sick. And he would, you know, like helped me with very — with tasks like taking a shower and such that it wasn't easy to do that or to allow my husband who I wanted to just appear so beautiful for so strong for especially our first year of marriage to just be so vulnerable before him. But just knowing that the Lord was just purifying, our hearts humbling us, allowing us to love each other more, more purely.
Speaker 6:
And I mean, there was so much time during those times where I would be sleeping. I wouldn't be able to sit here and be hanging out with him or you know, do anything cute for him. It was, he was taking care of me. He was responsible for my medications and for making sure that I was walking when I needed to, or if I was sick, holding my hair back, you know, and I know that the Lord was doing that because he wanted us to just love each other more and he was preparing us for something so beautiful. And and afterwards I had to receive like different treatments just for what had happened in the surgery and taking care of my body. And I mean, I'm so grateful for Creighton because I was able to identify something much sooner than the doctors would have, and I'm also just grateful that knowing that the Lord gives us every tool that we need naturally to prepare us for anything that we would need.
Napoli:
And it's just beautiful how, like Jesus works with biology and science, you know, he doesn't work against it. And so I just remember the doctor had also said to us — and this was something that he mentioned before — it was, he was like he just said to us, like, "You guys are going to have a really hard time getting pregnant. And I would say that if you guys don't use IVF, you probably won't get pregnant." And for Jordan and I, that was very, that was an absolute life. There was no way we were going to do that. And we knew that we knew that the Lord was calling us to be parents. We trust him and we trusted him. And so we were kind of like, okay, well, look, we need to do everything that we can do to stay healthy, to be as healthy as possible, to be as strong as possible to be parents, but also the rest of it is just, Jesus, we're just going to trust you. And the, the month that we got the clear that it was okay for us to begin trying, we got pregnant.
Fr. Patrick:
Praise God.
Napoli:
Like, I didn't even tell him for the first few days, because I was so worried that it was because of different medications and things that I was on. And I just remember, like when I first saw the pregnancy test, I was like, there's no way. And just knowing that like the Lord in his generosity, not only outdoes us constantly in his generosity, but is just filled with such beautiful surprises and the fact that he just allowed this to happen. I mean, even our OB who was Catholic, was not expecting that, you know? And then the fact that this baby has continued to grow and there were so many different like concerns for this pregnancy. And I even remember one of the first times we met with a specialist, like a high risk specialist, he told us, you guys might have like a baby on the smaller side. And we were like, Oh, we don't care, we just want to healthy baby.
Emily:
Any baby. [laughs]
Napoli:
Yeah, really. And then four weeks ago, we had this specific type of ultrasound where they tell you how much the baby is weighing. And our little peanut was six pounds, one ounce, four weeks ago.
Emily:
Wow. It's going to be a big baby!
Napoli:
God is just so good in his generosity and like has just continued throughout this entire process of just every time we feel like, man, this is scary — and don't get me wrong, we've definitely felt that way — but just knowing that he's with us and knowing that mama Mary is so close to us too. And so many times I feel like she just tugs her mantle tightly around us and it's brought us so much closer in so many ways. It hasn't been easy either. But it's been so beautiful to see what Jesus is doing and continues to do. And we're just so excited to raise a little disciple who is just so on fire for Jesus. And we just pray to have the grace to love one another so that we can be Holy parents and raise a Holy domestic Church.
Emily:
Beautiful.
Fr. Patrick:
What a great testimony.
Jordan:
Yeah it was. Praise you, Jesus.
Napoli:
I'm like sweating. [laughs]
Emily:
It's a big story.
Emily:
Yeah. I just want to say thank you. I mean, I know that, like you said, it's personal, there's really a lot of vulnerable things to share there, but I know that, you know, different issues with fertility and other things related to being pregnant or carrying a pregnancy, it's so much more common than people talk about. So I'm sure that there are women who are going to be listening to this podcast who are just so grateful for your courage and the way you've been able to share that story. And even if it hasn't happened to them, for them to pass on to other women in their lives that they know and love. So I just want to thank both, and Jordan for being such a supportive husband, that whole journey, the way you've told that journey to us today.
Napoli:
Crazy. Could not have done it without him. That's for sure.
Fr. Patrick:
Thank you, Jordan and Napoli.
Emily:
Maybe we could end with one tip, just one tip from you guys that you would give to other newlyweds who are maybe wrapping up their first pandemic year or about to start their marriage in still kind of a pandemic. What, what's the kind of the one thing that you guys, or little fun tips that you would give them, then we can wrap up from there?
Napoli:
I would say like make prayer fun, you know? So many people think like prayer has to be like, you're like sitting down and like, you know, you're like, it's just, it can sound like such a — I don't want to say boring because it's definitely not for us, but it can sound sometimes like such a daunting task almost, whereas like make prayer fun, you know? Jordan, like, even if you wanted to read it, one of my favorite dates that we did was we did Lectio Divina and we got a bottle of wine and we were just, like, spent time together. And it was just so beautiful and we just allowed the Lord to be with us. But invite Jesus in everything that you do, it doesn't even need to be like, it's not like every time you do something religious, you, you should always be inviting Jesus. It's like, if you're going to go to the grocery store, invite Jesus to be with you.
Napoli:
If you're going to get fro yo, which your girl has been craving a lot of like invite Jesus to help you with you, you know, just like make him a regular part of your life because then when things are good and when things are bad, he's already there. Yeah. Have fun with him. He's fun.
Fr. Patrick:
Amen.
Jordan:
Yeah. So when I was, when I was praying, I felt like the Lord was, he was inviting everybody into a — specifically in Detroit as with the dispensation being lifted and people are coming more and more people are coming back to Masses — every single person like anticipate and ask for a life-giving encounter with Jesus in the Eucharist, you know, and to like receive his crucified love for you specifically. And I feel like this season in the archdiocese, too, the Lord is inviting all of us, including me in Napoli to reach out, you know, like to extend the Eucharistic presence of Jesus, to every single person that we can, our family, our friends, like don't be afraid of the messiness of relationships, whether they're Catholic, not Catholic, whatever it is. And specifically in your marriages, like do not be afraid of love.
Jordan:
Like never be ashamed of love. Like, look foolish for love. You know, it's like let's be in each other's lives. Like let's be on fire together in the Archdiocese of Detroit, for people to look at our marriages, look at our communities, look at our parishes and to say, look at how they love each other. You know? Like, this is my body given for you. It's a crucified love. It's the bridegroom to the bride and full, complete gifts. Like that's what our marriages are, that's what our parishes should be. Like, nobody should be walking by themselves in this pilgrimage and to invite everybody on this joyful mission and our vocations and and whatever we're doing to be on fire with the love of Jesus in the Eucharist to the whole world.
Fr. Patrick:
Slam dunk.
Emily:
Mic drop.
Fr. Patrick:
It goes together. It's the whole thing, Napoli, Jordan, it's a package deal. It goes together and then, as Emily would say, mic drop.
Emily:
Mic drop, slam dunk, we use a lot of basketball analogies. Part of Fr. Pullis's legacy. That's great. Well, thanks so much for joining us. Thank you for your beautiful testimony and witness and Fr. Patrick, would you like to close us in a prayer, please?
Fr. Patrick:
I'd love to. In the name of the Gather and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for the gift of your beloved son, Jordan, and your beloved daughter, Napoli, and their marriage, which shows the world the marriage of heaven. Thank you for the sacrament of marriage, God, that when you are the center of it, it truly allows couples to participate in the eternal wedding feast of the lamb, Jesus, the bridegroom with his bride, the Church. We ask father that you bless all the married couples out there, and that you would also all those who are discerning,
Speaker 2:
Give them clear, beautiful light about which path you're calling them to live out their discipleship on. And say almighty God set everybody's heart on fire. Who's listening to this podcast in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy spirit. Amen.
Emily:
Thanks for listening to another episode of Open Door Policy, where we hear stories of different joyful missionary disciples in Southeast Michigan, and how they encounter, grow and witness in their love for Christ. You can find more episodes at unleashthegospel.org/podcasts or on Spotify, Google, Apple podcasts, or Amazon podcasts. See you next time.