Zach Diamond 0:03 Welcome to the Modern Classrooms Project Podcast. Each week, we bring you discussions with educators on how they use blended, self paced and mastery based learning to better serve their students. We believe teachers learn best from each other. So this is our way of lifting up the voices of leaders and innovators in our community. This is the Modern Classrooms Project Podcast. Toni Rose Deanon 0:28 Hello, and welcome to episode 168 of the Modern Classrooms Project Podcast. My name is Toni Rose Deanon, they/them pronouns, a Community Engagement Manager here at MCP, and I'm joined today by Elena Aguilar, author, coach, CEO of Bright Morning and host of the Bright Morning Podcast, which recently celebrated 1 million downloads. How cool. Welcome, Elena. Elena Aguilar 0:51 Thank you so much. It's great to be here. Toni Rose Deanon 0:54 Yeah, it's so exciting to be in this space with you. And thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for saying yes to the podcast. I'm really just like, fan, just like fan personing right? Like, I am so excited to be in this space. And so before we get started, what's bringing you joy currently? Elena Aguilar 1:09 I love that question. I feel like we could just talk about that question all the time. I mean, everybody like I wanted, I almost wanted to say everybody should, but we would. It's such an important thing for us to dip into. What is bringing me joy? You know, the first thing that comes to mind might be a weird answer. But what's bringing me so much joy these days is the insights I'm coming to about who I am and why I am the way I am and why I do what I do and why I think what I think and all of this is, comes from therapy. So I'm so grateful for therapy, and I it's bringing me so much joy and like the experience in the moment doesn't necessarily, I wouldn't say it's like joyful. There's a lot of there's a lot, right, that comes up. But it's just creating so much space for me. And I feel like there's just so much more joy available. Toni Rose Deanon 2:10 Yeah, and I think I'm kind of going through the similar journey as yours, Elena, because I've been learning a lot about myself lately. And just accepting that, as we age, our body is not capable of doing the same things that we were able to do in our 20s. And early, early on. And so it's just been a lot of embracing for me as well. So thank you for sharing that. The joys of like being in therapy of like facing all the things, it's all beautiful and overwhelming and all of the things together, right. So thank you for sharing that. And so let's jump right to it. Tell us more about who you are and how you started your education journey. Elena Aguilar 2:48 Okay, so who I am. Where to start? I think this episode is actually being released, you just said in our 20s. And I was like, oh my god, I'm like in my for this episode is being released on my birthday. And I'm turning 54. And I'm sort of just I was like, I've been in education for 30 years, I first started teaching in a rural community, then I moved to Oakland, California, I have taught a lot of grades between two and 10. I became a coach and instructional coach, and then a leadership coach, then I led a team of coaches and I have spent a lot of my life I would say, following the breadcrumbs and making my own pathway and follow up going this way. And that way, I haven't done things very traditionally, I didn't go into teaching through a traditional route. I didn't become a coach through any formal training. And what that meant was that I also became really interested in understanding what coaching was and what I was doing. I felt like it was super intuitive. I loved coaching. I coached for about 567 years, and then began writing about coaching. And that turned into actually, I think it was maybe more than that 10 years or something. And that turned into my first book, which was the art of coaching. And then I wrote a number of other books and develop trainings and content based on those books and spent a lot of time traveling and presenting workshops and facilitating and learning with people and from people. And that's sort of an overview of that pathway or trajectory. And if there's anything you want me to elaborate on, I'm happy to do so. Toni Rose Deanon 4:42 Yeah, no, I think something that I really enjoyed about your journey to Elena is that when I started doing instructional coaching, I had no idea what even that meant. So I've had a couple of instructional coaches before but at the same time, they were just like, Oh, you're good. We're not going to worry about you and then that's it. So when I became an instructional coach, I really utilize the books that you had, because I didn't know what that meant for me. And I didn't know what that looked like for me. And so I appreciate the books that you created. And I really also love the intentionality behind these books that you have produced for folks to, to learn from and learn with, right. And so one of the books that I really wanted to highlight was coaching for equity, because I know that that was, I feel like I've read it so many times. And every time I pick it up, it does something different to me. And, and I just, I love everything about it. I feel like everybody in education and just everyone should read it, honestly. Right. And so it's something to keep me just grounded and empathetic and really curious about ways that people show up. Because like you said, right, we are in this. We are in this era now where we're kind of reevaluating and reflecting on how we're moving in this world. And I love that for us. And something that continues to resonate with me when I first read this book, and the multiple times that I've read it is that you said something along the lines of like, nobody can learn from you if you think that they suck. Right. And so I've read those the book, but can you tell us a little bit more about this story for listeners who may not have read your book? Elena Aguilar 6:19 Yes. So those words were spoken to me from my coach, Leslie Plattner, many years ago. And so I'm in the middle of no, I'm almost at the end of writing my next book, which is the definitive guide to the art of coaching. And in this book, I am including a photo of Leslie Plattner, saying these words because I want attribution to be credited correctly. And so there was she was a coach, that I had an incredible coach, incredible educator. And during the hardest period of my professional career, really, when I was coaching at a middle school, that was just so difficult, and it was so much inequity. And I really was not showing up, well, I wasn't being who I want to be, I was so angry. I write a lot about that school and those experiences. And she said that, she said, nobody can learn from you if you think that they suck. And it was just like, the biggest epiphany, when I realized, I have been thinking that all of these teachers not, I've been thinking that all these teachers are horrible, racist, awful human beings who get up every morning and come to school to make the lives of black and brown children miserable. And that's what I was walking into the building every day thinking. So you know, I often talk about resistance doesn't exist unless you raise a hand and create an opposing force. In other words, when we talk about experiencing resistance, in other people, we are creating the resistance by what we bring to the dynamic resistance doesn't exist if you drop your hand. Elena Aguilar 8:16 So I was creating a basically a lot of resistance, I was creating a lot of distrust, a lot of they were pushing back. And I did think that these teachers, just, I thought they were awful. And as when Leslie said that to me, and confronted me on my thinking. And I realized that wait, that's not who I want to be in the world. That's not going to affect the kind of change I want to see, I'm actually just replicating the same kind of dysfunction, and inequitable bad power dynamics and stuff that exists in schools that I'm that I want to be dis dismantling or undermining. Elena Aguilar 8:59 And that was a moment when I started really exploring what needed to happen in my ways of being and my beliefs and my behaviors to change. So that could be aligned to my true core values and to who I really want to be in the world. Toni Rose Deanon 9:14 Yeah, and when you heard that, like, that was kind of a shock, like a shock, right? Like, oh my gosh, that's not that's not what I want to be. Um, how did you navigate those emotions that came up for you? Because I know again, like, you know, there's a lot of talks about like, talking about our emotions, we need to figure out why our emotions are, are showing up as they are. And so how did you navigate those emotions for your, you know, your coach calling you and calling you out? And then you realize, like, oh, wait, wait a minute. Okay, I need to I need to make some changes here. Elena Aguilar 9:45 So a lot of what I do as a coach, a lot of what I've done, what I've written about is informed by the lived experience that I had with Leslie and that I had with a previous coach with Liz Simon's I had two incredible experiences with coaches who were non judgmental, who were so kind and caring and supportive and who saw my potential. And it was because of that, that when Leslie said those words to me, I didn't feel defensive, I didn't feel ashamed. I felt gratitude for her honesty for her directness. I think in the moment, I don't really remember. I mean, this was, I think 2008. So this was a while ago, I don't remember how I navigated the emotions in the moment, I do know that I did feel a lot of I felt a lot of shame for some time, I still feel some shame for the way that I treated some of those teachers. And that's okay. Because yes, our emotions arise to give us information. And shame can actually be a really helpful emotion, if it's a sort of behavior course corrector. And I was just writing about a memory of one of my very early years of teaching, I think it was second year teaching. And I was so exhausted. And it was one of those difficult afternoons. And, like, there was one kid that was always just shouting out and talking. And I was like, and I screamed to him across the classroom, he was a third grader, he was eight or nine years old, and I screamed, shut up, across the classroom. And I was just flooded by shame, I was just flooded, I could not believe I had humiliated a child like that. And I said, I am so sorry, I apologized, I meant talked about to the class like this, that was not okay for me to do. I talked to the student afterwards, I don't think he ever really felt as safe with me again. And I have to accept that that was the impact of that behavior of that of that choice that I made. And I never screened another child, again, that shame was a real helpful course. corrector. So, you know, we don't want to stay in a shame spiral or habit, erode our well being or undermine our behaviors, but it can serve, you know, so that the the awareness that I had been treating teachers in a way that, Elena Aguilar 12:29 you know, like, I wouldn't want to be treated like that. And yes, what they were doing and the way they were treating children was not okay. And there were other ways for me to respond to their behavior. I didn't have any training as a coach, it was an exceptionally difficult situation. And so I can also practice some self compassion. But it was also, I had a choice about how to be and how to respond. And one of those ways to be and to respond was that after two years of being in that situation, and recognizing the system breakdowns, the leadership void, I realized that wasn't the place for me to be to contribute what I wanted to contribute. So it's also not like, we don't have to be martyrs and stay in dysfunctional, toxic situations. But we can also still show up as the person we want to be, Toni Rose Deanon 13:22 hmm. There's so much, there's so much to just everything that you said, right. And I think a lot of the times, we tend to kind of avoid the shame, right? Like, we just kind of dig a little hole for and then put it away. And hopefully, we don't ever have to look at it ever again. But I really liked this this concept of like, no, like shame, there's a place for shame, it's, it's kind of a reminder as well, for us to just make some changes and how we can better show up for ourselves and for our students as well. And I really liked that reminder that you have to have, you know, if it's if it's, if it's a working environment that's not working for you, then we really don't have to stay right. And I think sometimes a lot of a lot of the times actually, we do tend to stay hoping that it'll get better. And sometimes it's okay to just also about so like, I think sometimes we need that permission. And so thank you, thank you for, for sharing all of that. And just being so like, honest and transparent with like, the feelings and your experiences as well, because I think that I still kind of cringe thinking about some of my mistakes that I've had in my classroom. And, and I don't know if I can, like, openly, like come to terms with that just yet, but it's definitely something that I'm grappling with. And so I get to work with educators all over the world to which is really exciting. And something that I have noticed is that when we're creating a space that's more student centered, where there's more student voice and student choice and student autonomy, there's a lot of resistance, right? Because with teaching, there's always been a lot of control. And so when we're trying To relinquishes control so that our students can take advantage of it. This phrase of like, nobody can learn from you, if you think they suck comes up all the time, because I've heard time and time again, like, Oh, these kids can't do that. And it's like, well, let's kind of like backtrack and like, reflect on that statement, right? Like, what can't they do? What is it that you think that they cannot do? And have we tried that? as well? Right? And so when we're thinking about that phrase, of like, nobody can learn from you, if you think they suck, like what messages are teachers getting from the systems in place, school leaders in or personally? Students? What are your thoughts on that? Elena Aguilar 15:38 So when I hear teachers say, these kids can't, one of the things that I hear is, I don't know how to do something. So blaming others is a way of discharging discomfort, uncomfortable emotions, it's a way it's a way of dealing with our with anger, or sadness or fear. We, in general, as humans, or perhaps in certain communities, countries don't have a whole lot of skills at recognizing or navigating uncomfortable emotions. And so we do the best we can. And sometimes that's blaming others, and that has an impact on others. That's not, that's not what we want to be doing. When people do that, I can say, okay, they're doing the best they can. And that coping mechanism has an impact on others, could we learn some skills to, to manage this to navigate these uncomfortable emotions? I think the core problem if I was gonna say, here's the one big issue for human beings, for teachers, for people in our schools in general is that we are disconnected from a sense of power, we're disconnected from our agency. Elena Aguilar 17:02 One of the primary objectives of a transformational coach is to coach people back towards their agency. And so when someone is blaming students, they have given up all their power, they've just, they're just, they're just letting themselves sink into a victim stance. And that hurts. And so many people are really familiar with that stance. So it's like putting on your favorite old hoodie. And so it takes a lot to get people to shift those mindsets and the the aligned behaviors, to return to being in a place of empowerment. And that's also what every human wants. And so we have this contradiction, where we have humans have core human needs, is a really useful framework. Psychologists say there's like six things that all humans need beyond shelter, and food and water and that kind of thing. And the first one is a sense of belonging, or connectedness. The second one is the need for autonomy. And so this is another this is like every human needs connection, every human needs autonomy. And yet we do all these things that undermine our own ability to get that need met. So a lot of the work I do with adults is around guiding them back to their agency. And I would say that's also what I did was students, I was really fortunate, I suppose. In many ways, I was really fortunate to be raised by parents and an extended community that believed in challenging the status quo, questioning authority, and in some ways, really encouraged and cultivated my sense of power and autonomy. And so I know that within myself even though I veer from it, even though I take actions that can undermine that and but it becomes for me sort of a north star to guide people back into a place of their own decision making choice autonomy agency empowerment. So that's part of what comes up for me when I hear when I hear the blaming kids, it's, it's I feel disempowered. I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I don't know what to do. I feel really sad because actually, I really want to see these kids succeed, and I don't have to do that. So I'd rather just blame them and say they're the problem. Elena Aguilar 19:43 So it's, um, you know, it, it. It is hard to hear teachers say that it can be really emotionally activating. It can be something that brings up a whole lot of our own unhealed wounds and But there's actually a lot that we can do with teachers who make those kind of statements. Toni Rose Deanon 20:05 Yeah, I completely agree with you. And I think that's where like the empathetic coaching comes into or like empathetic listening to of just like, okay, here are some of the things that are happening, but like deep down, like, what is it that they are trying to do, right. And I really love this whole, the empowerment, right? We really want to empower students. But then for us to be able to empower our students, we want to empower our teachers. Zach Diamond 20:30 Hey there, listeners, it's Zach. I just have one learning experience to let you all know about this week. And then we have an announcement from Lisa, and then we'll get back into it with Toni Rose and Elena. First, I want to let you know about our last implementer meetup of the year, the December meetup on Wednesday, the 13th. At 7pm. Eastern, you can connect and celebrate and laugh with other modern classrooms, educators, and be so close to a break and talk about how wonderful that is. Anyway, let's hear from Lisa and then we're gonna get right back into it with Elena and Toni Rose. Lisa Doty 21:06 are you an educator who implements blended self paced mastery based instruction in your classroom, join the monitoring classrooms community of innovative educators worldwide, and receive certified credentials, public recognition and access to exclusive swag. Hi there. I'm Lisa Doty. And I get to work with educators like you as they begin their teacher leadership journey. By applying for the distinguished modern classroom educator credential Applications are accepted on a rolling basis. So you can apply anytime to get started, navigate to www dot modern classrooms.org, forward slash distinguished educators. That's www dot modern classrooms.org Forward slash distinguished hyphen educators, we look forward to reviewing your submission soon. Toni Rose Deanon 22:03 I think this is actually a great segue to is that one of the things that I really appreciate about your work is that there's a focus on core values. I mean, you just talked about core needs, which is the sense of belonging and autonomy, right? And then there's also this shift of like, let's identify a core values, and then let's align everything with our core values. And then of course, also understanding that our core values can shift based on experience and like what's happening right and so and I think it ties in really beautifully to of empowerment, like when you know who you are, when you know what your core values are, you kind of have a better understanding of what you what it means for you to belong, what it means for you to have autonomy, right? And so why is it important to know our core values, first of all, and then how can we make a shift in our daily lives to continue reflecting on our core values, because I know, this isn't a practice that's done by everyone. It has to be really intentional work, and you have to like put time aside to figure out what your core values are. Elena Aguilar 23:01 Ya, so I'd say there's a couple things that are important to distinguish, there's identifying what your core values are, versus just like knowing what is value where the core values come from, and getting really clear on what yours are, because a lot of core values can be traced back to our families of origin, the communities that we grew up in religious or spiritual communities, and we just want to be sure that we're actually live, that we're naming the values that are truly values to us and not ones that we were conditioned into. And so that's the first step is just getting really clear, what are your values, and then there's a little bit of a difference between the values you live currently and the values you want to be living. And so, for example, I can say to somebody, I'm coaching, show me your calendar, and I'm going to tell you the values that you are currently living. Now, are those values aligned to the ones that you have identified as your core values and that you want to be living? And that there can be a lot of dissonance or conflict there between saying, Well, I really value family. And I can barely make it home to say goodnight to the kids. Elena Aguilar 24:23 Or, I mean, there's there's so many values that we may espouse, but we don't actually live a an aligned life. And when we're not living in alignment with what matters most to us, we suffer. We we don't feel good. We feel out of integrity with ourselves. And so there's identifying the values, and then there's aligning your life to them and making decisions is this. I'll tell you, this is maybe like, I just had this epiphany last week. When I was scheduling a therapy appointment, and my therapist was like, Oh, this is the only time I have this week, and I had another meeting scheduled at that time, and I was like, I'm going to change that meeting, because I can, and because right now, spending time in therapy aligns to my core values. And it actually felt like a pretty easy and clear decision to make. And I was like, Oh, I'm living, you know, or I, there's many choices that I recognize lately, I'm more consciously making in a way that are aligned to my core values. And so that's what, that's what the purpose of being clear on your core values is, so that you can make a line decision. So you can use them as a guide or a criteria for making decisions. So there's, that's the hard part, identifying what they are. I'm gonna have an exercise on my website that helps people go through a sorting process to identify what they are, in some ways, that's the easy part. You're like, okay, great. justice, compassion, curiosity, and then it's like, okay, now go live these? Yeah, but I'm not curious about that person. Because they're annoying. I don't really want to know about them. Toni Rose Deanon 26:00 Yeah, you know, I've used that worksheets. So many times I like to in our, in our community, with my family members, my friends, just so that we can continue having conversations about what, what we need to do to make decisions moving forward, right, as far as like, how do we want to show up? And how, who do we want to be honestly with, like, the core values? And, and, and you're absolutely right, like, identifying is so easy. Easier anyway, because I know, when I did this activity with my sisters, my 20 year old sister was like, This is so hard, you mean, I only have to choose three, but what I want like 15 of them. Toni Rose Deanon 26:39 It's like no, we really want to like hone in on like the top three. And, and it's just such a it's a great conversation starter, too. And then of course, like holding each other accountable with my sisters, and I have just like, hey, like, here's this big, like life decision that you have, look at your core values, go back to it and see if it really does align. And I think like you said it, it was really that much tougher. Because I know like, Well, my core values have shifted to rest. And I don't even know what that looks like for me. And so moving forward, it's like, oh, I have this thing in front of me. But is it going to allow me to rest? Probably not. So it's a it's a no for me, right? So it's, it's also good to create to kind of help create those boundaries, too, so that we can continue living a life that's like sustainable, and that is joyful. And so I really, I really love that piece. And I love this I you know, the identifying core values worksheet that I've used over and over and over again, because it just, it's just so powerful, especially with the reflection questions, too. And so when we think about our core values, like how, how can we create inclusive spaces for all types of learners and also stay true to our core values, Elena Aguilar 27:51 we think you're raising a second part of this conversation about core values, which is really important, which is, individuals will have their core values, if you're not clear on yours, sometimes your actions will be sort of hijacked by other people's values, theirs will, will trump yours. And then organizations also have their own values. Sometimes those are explicit. And sometimes they are implicit. values need to be made explicit. Otherwise, it just leads to problems and dysfunction and less alignment. But the role of leaders then is bringing people into those organizational values and helping people see how their personal values might connect to or map onto the organizational values. Sometimes that happens, and sometimes it doesn't. And when it doesn't, that might be an indicator for you, if you are a member of that organization, that it may not be like a good fit for you. Or if you're the leader of the organization, you may also recognize, okay, this person's values are, there's just a lot of conflict between what they value and what we're valuing. And so let's say you said your value, one of your values is rest. And if you're working in an organization, that's like our value is productivity and efficiency, then, you know, there may be some conflict there. I mean, all of the values have, all the values have value, they all have something that we can appreciate. And the reason for the sorting is to prioritize. And that's hard for us. This is where when we struggle to make a decision, it's because we haven't said, you know, right now or in this situation, this is more important than this. And sometimes there sometimes we have to make decisions like that. I'm generally not a fan of like sharp binaries. Like I don't think we have to have student centered schools. I think that we can have human centered schools and we can include the adults, but sometimes there's also a need to prioritize to make decisions, and in that case, we may need to say, you know, we are a school that values all, all of the humans in here. And the young humans are ones who have had fewer opportunities yet to make choices about their lives. And so x, y, and z is how we honor their choices and how we prioritize their needs, how we center their needs. Toni Rose Deanon 30:24 Oh, and I really, really liked that phrase to have human centered schools, right? It's such a beautiful shift from like, student, because students are more than just students, they are humans. And so really centering who they are, when they're coming into this, these spaces is really, really important. And I know that prioritizing is definitely a skill that a lot of people struggle with, like you said, right, because we are inundated with so many different things. And we want to do all the things but we get lost in the sauce, like you said, and then just other folks values end up hijacking ours if we're not sure with like who we are as human beings first, right. And so I like the whole like meshing. And knowing that, like, organizations have values, leaders have values, like, every single person has values, but now let's figure out a way to like, align with those values, or like mesh with it, or even like, say, like, actually, this is not it for me. And so making those decisions, it's just such a clear path, I think, and it's a great way to to protect our peace as well, because, you know, educators and school leaders, there's just so many things happening right now, right. And so learning how to prioritize and learning how to stay true to our core values, as well as like making sure that every one of our students do feel a sense of belonging in these spaces, those are all very important things to keep in mind. And so, you know, when we think about all of these things, right, like, we're now talking about human centered, human centered schools, environments, right? How do we start building on our own like emotional intelligence? Because, again, sometimes, you know, like, when we think about social emotional learning, there are some states that have passed laws that you can't even say the word or the phrase, we can't even ask students certain things about how they're feeling, right? And so how do we start building our own emotional intelligence so that we can continue again, showing up for ourselves and showing up for our community? Elena Aguilar 32:24 Well, I can tell you some strategies. But I would say the building of emotional intelligence begins with curiosity with, with getting yourself bought into it, why? Why would you be interested? What are you hoping for? What needs would you hope would be met through that kind of exploration and skill building. So that's a roundabout way to tap into emotions of desire, really, and we have to activate that because diving into emotions is complicated and tricky and messy, and people bring all kinds of mindsets and previous experiences. And so we got to kind of boost up our our commitment, our curiosity, our willingness, and again, being desire is a tremendously powerful emotion. So can we be pulled by it? Rather than pushed by I should or I need to learn how to manage my anger better or but desire for human connection for self knowledge for release of, of old wounds, one of the entry points could be get curious about what gets you emotionally activated or triggered. So what are the things that get under your skin? Get on your nerves? What are the things that really set you off? That's a that can be a scary but also really meaningful place to begin with some self because that's, that's it? Any trigger is an indicator that there's something unhealed, there's an unhealed wound. And, and can we find the motivation to attend to ourselves, can we find the part of us that says, I really care about you and you deserve to feel better? Like we're egocentric creatures, there's nothing wrong with having egos. And so let's start with the part of us. It's like, you should feel better. Okay, great. I want to feel better. So now you got to go and explore the things that really hurt. Okay, that's gonna help me feel better. Yes, it well. So finding the entry point, the, the desire to relieve your own discomfort and your own pain and so enter into an exploration through what gets you activated, what gets you triggered what there's, everyone deserves that kind of exploration into their own into themselves into their own wounds. And then there's simple things like build emotional literacy. So there's a resource on my website and in some of my books called the core emotions, and it's such a simple resource to build language to describe our emotions and ways to categorize emotions and understanding emotions. It's so simple, I use it all the time. What am I feeling and I go to that document and I skim through it, I'm like, oh, that's what I'm feeling. Okay. As soon as we do that it extricate ourselves from sort of the intensity of the emotion a little bit, or like, when we point to a word on a page, and we can say, I'm feeling intimidated, or I'm feeling doubt. It's like, we recognize then in doing that, perhaps unconsciously, that we are not our emotions, and emotions come and go. And they shift and they have a lot of nuancing. And that's a simple way to build emotional literacy. But I would say, enter by building by building sort of the enthusiasm for the exploration. Toni Rose Deanon 35:55 Yeah, I really, that feelings wheel has been super useful for me, I just, I know that I've printed it and laminated and put it around the house, just so that I can continue naming it because I know, my upbringing, we were not, we didn't talk about emotions, like emotions, what, like, you just continue to move forward and not even have any kind of conversation about feeling frustrated, or anger or, you know, whatever it may be. And so having to retrain my brain to actually name the thing, right, and sit with it and accept it and embrace it. And then, and then releasing it, because I think sometimes I know, from my own experiences, I've held on to a lot of negative feelings. And, and that hasn't, and it showed up in a really harmful way, whenever I come into spaces, and I don't even mean for, for it to come up, but it just does. So I really liked the push to identify, to identify these feelings to sit with those feelings. And just to get curious with it and not get upset. I know, Elena, one of the things that I've learned is like having conversations with my feelings actually really helped to have like, oh, okay, like your anger, you're showing up? Why are you here? Where's this from? And so then it becomes a playful kind of banter. And then just having like, a better understanding to have like, okay, these are my triggers. And I know that like, if a teacher that I'm working with triggered me, I know where that triggers coming from. So then I can still put that like I can, I can name it, acknowledge it, and then you know, put it to the side for now, and then still continue being able to work with that teacher. And so I just really appreciate like the work that you've put, that you've just created, and all the like the learning environments and learning experiences that you have provided for teachers, for educators, and school leaders, and all of the above, because I know that it's made me a lot better with what I do. And so and so with that being said, Elena, what do you hope to see in the future? Like what goals do you have I use very big right? And I'm always so curious and I ask our guests with the answer is, Elena Aguilar 38:04 well, I hope that my work will give people some more tools and skills to have meaningful conversations with themselves and with others. I hope that my work makes people more curious about themselves and others makes people ask questions. And I hope that my work might, I suppose, like, my ultimate hopes or visions are that my work contributes to individual and collective healing? I think I am. I'm not sure if I would now say that healing is a core value, I have to have to redo my core value. But I do I think that it is I think that liberation is one of my core values. And healing is required for liberation. I define liberation as the ability of a person to self realization to offer the world their unique gifts and abilities. And whatever it is, that's liberation is when we can be who we truly deeply are, who we were, who were meant to be, perhaps even in a metaphysical sense. And in order to do that, there has to be justice. And we have to have we have to do our own healing. And so I hope that my work contributes to justice and to individual and collective healing and for the sake of individual and collective liberation. So that's, and what I think is really new for me in the last in this recent phase of my life is that I'm actually including myself in this vision and this aspiration. So I would say for me Many, many years, I thought about other people's liberation and other people's ability to belong to a healthy, resilient community. And I didn't actually provide the same for myself. And I didn't include myself in that vision. And so when I said like, Yeah, I'm going to cancel a meeting, because I want to go to therapy. That's me living a values aligned life. That's me saying, like, No, I actually get to have the healing. Also, it's not just about me, creating space for others, or enabling others, like, I get this too. I'm a part of this vision, too. And, and so that's also I would say, What do I what do I hope for myself? It's like, I just that this journey that I'm on continues, and that I continue to find the pathways into more authentic expression and connection with others and joy and pleasure and expression and self realization, all those things. Toni Rose Deanon 40:55 Oh, you're such an inspiration. Elena, this is all very beautiful, like the collective and individual like liberation and just healing, right? It's just so important for that to happen. And just, I just love, just love being in the same space as you and just love listening to you talk. And so how can our listeners connect with you, Elena? How can they connect with me? Elena Aguilar 41:21 So as you said, I have a podcast, the bright morning podcast, and that comes out every Monday and all the places that podcasts come out, and that's a way to hear me in your ear a whole lot. I have a weekly newsletter, if you go to my website, which is bright morning team.com. You can sign up for the weekly newsletter, the socials that we're most active on I'm on LinkedIn, and on Instagram. And on Instagram, my handle is Elena Aguila writer. But you can also I mentioned link things in the show notes, and you can find this stuff by going to our website. So those are some ways. Yeah, I'm not that hard to find. And but yes, thank you so much. Also, just for the questions, and for the resonance, the resonance in the appreciation is nourishing and feeling to me as well. And I receive it. Toni Rose Deanon 42:14 Yeah, no, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Elena. It's, it's just been, I've just been so nervous about this, this podcast. And I've just been sitting in a lot of excitement. I think it's more excitement than nervousness, just to have a conversation with you, because I'm just again, such a huge fan. And so to be able to have conversations about coaching for equity and core values, to things that I'm just like so passionate about lately. It's just very, very, very inspiring and insightful, and I just appreciate your presence. And so listeners remember, you can always email us at podcast at modern classrooms.org. And you can find the show notes for this episode at podcast at modern classrooms.org/ 168. We'll have this episode's transcript uploaded by Friday, so be sure to check back to access those. Also, you're asking our listeners to leave a review of this podcast has been helpful in supporting you to create a blended self paced mastery based learning environment, which is what Elena says are really just a humanizing or human centered learning environment. Right. And so it does help other folks find it. Thank you all for listening. Have a great week, and we'll be back next Sunday. Zach Diamond 43:23 Thank you so much for listening. You can find links to topics and tools we discussed in our show notes for this episode. And remember, you can learn more about our work at WWW dot modern classrooms.org. And you can learn the essentials of our model through our free course at Learn dot modern classrooms.org. You can follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at modernclassproj. That's p r o j we are so appreciative of all you do for students in schools. Have a great week and we'll be back next Sunday with another episode of the Modern Classrooms Project Podcast.