Welcome to the money mindset podcast, where you will find the inspiration and motivation. You need to manage your money better than you can stress less and live the life you want. This is Ashley with budgets made easy and the money mindset podcast. Today, we are going to talk about putting money in your budget for things you enjoy things that bring you joy,

things that are fun and why this is important to do. Even when you're trying to save and pay off debt, do you frequently want to spend money on something that you really want, but then you feel guilty about it. You think that you shouldn't spend money on that because you need to save and pay off debt or you impulse spend on something you wanted,

and then you feel even more guilty about it because it wasn't in the budget today. I want to talk about spending money on things that bring you joy, things that are fun. That will keep you going and motivated because this will actually help you stick to your plan of saving money or paying off debt and seeing it through to the end. Because if you can't stick to the spending plan to reach those bigger goals,

it doesn't matter if every single penny goes to debt in one month. What matters is that you are consistently spending money toward your debt or savings goals over time. So it can feel dirty and wasteful to spend money on things that bring us joy, bring us happiness that are fun. When we have debt, especially if you are like really intense and intent on paying off debt or saving money.

But if you have a plan for those things in your budget, you can spend money on things that bring you joy, spending money on things that make you happy or saves you time or helps lessen your stress in your life. If you're a busy mom like me, and you've got a million things going on every single freaking day, it's okay to spend money on things that save you time or lessen your stress.

The difference is that you need to plan for in your budget, which can still make you feel guilty, but it shouldn't okay. Setting a budget for, it gives you permission to spend. When I was paying off debt, I wouldn't set aside money for fun, unless a special event came up that, you know, I, or my husband like really wanted to do.

We said no to a lot of things that looking back on it now, I wish, you know, we would have just went to, you know, maybe it would have cost us a month of paying off debt a little bit longer, but in the grand scheme of things we would have had those experiences would have had those memories. We just, I don't know.

I got so wrapped up in it that I just wanted to do it as fast as humanly possible, which really isn't that realistic or, you know, in the long term probably should have taken a little bit more time because once we were done paying off debt, it was like, whew. And then we spent all this money on things that we had been putting off or that we felt deprived.

And so we were enjoying ourselves again. And then we just got really off track with our savings goals. Like it took us for ever to save because we had deprived ourselves so long that we wanted to enjoy our money again. And then things kept coming up and, you know, things we just kept putting off and we're like, oh, we'll pay for that later.

Well then that was the time that we had to pay for it. So if we had just taken a little bit more time to have some fun or put money towards some of these other things, while we were paying off debt, we probably could have hit our savings goal a little bit faster because we wouldn't have been so off track and felt so deprived that then we were like,

oh, I want to do this. And I want to do that because we could have just kept on the way we were, but we paid off debt so intensely that we couldn't have kept maintaining that for the time that it took us to save. But if we had stretched it out a little bit, we could have, and we could have reached our savings goal a little bit faster,

but I felt so guilty every time we would spend extra money that didn't go to debt. But if I would've just given myself permission to spend that money on those things that brought us joy or happiness, or that we just really wanted to do, you know, we kept telling ourselves, oh, we can do that another time we can do that in another time,

but that's not always true, especially as you add kids to the mix. So what I want you to think about is if you set a reasonable amount aside for fun, then you shouldn't feel guilty for spending it on things that bring you joy or things that are fun. It just needs to be a reasonable amount. Like if you have, and this is going to be different for everybody,

what they think is reasonable. And you just have to think about your priorities too. So is it important for you or do you not mind to give up, like getting a pedicure every so many weeks so that you can pay off your debt a little bit faster or maybe instead of doing it every three weeks, you go every six weeks. So you're still doing it.

You're just kind of spacing it out a little bit more, but you know, maybe your nails or your hair are really super important for you. And so you're not willing to give that up. Don't feel guilty about that. Like for me doing my nails and my hair is not important for me at all. And so that's some of the stuff that I gave up,

but like my husband initially, when we were paying off debt, we were eating out so much. And you, if you follow me on Instagram, budgets made easy. You know, this is something I still are. We still struggle with. I like food. We like going out to eat. We, I don't know why I get fast food a lot.

It's not even that good of food, but it's convenient. I don't know why, but this is something that we still struggle with. And when we first started paying off debt, I, we went from spending like 1200 bucks a month on food down to 600 and no eating out well, as you can imagine, that didn't last very long, especially for my husband,

because he was not a hundred percent on board with my crazy plan. And so I had to put it back in there. I had to put in lunch because like my husband, he works in a building where there's no windows, there's no social time. It's work, work, work on your feet on concrete for, you know, eight, nine hours a day.

And so I had to put that back in so that he could get out of the building socialize. Like it was more than just going out to eat and getting food. Right. So is the whole aspect of the socialization and taking a mental break from work in the middle of the day. So we had to put that back in because that was something that brought my husband joy.

And I didn't feel guilty about that. Now we did cut back on other things and like, I've already discussed. Maybe we didn't have to do it as intensely, but that was something that we put back into the budget that brought us joy and had other networking aspects into it. Like my husband is such an extrovert. He gets along with everybody who likes to talk to people like he had to have that time in the day to do that.

And so, yes, it did cost us so much money a week, but we set an amount for it and we did pretty good with sticking to it. So I don't believe that at that time he went out like every single day for lunch, but I believe it was like two, three times a week. And then he just had that set amount to spend and didn't have to feel guilty about it and didn't have to,

you know, answer for it or anything like that. So you just have to set a reasonable amount based on your budget and your priority. So if you have, let's say $1,200 a month extra after you pay all your bills, you pay food, you pay gas, you pay all the things that you could possibly think of. You have $1,200 a month is which some of you might be thinking,

oh, that would be nice, actually. Yeah. So let's just, cause it's a round number. It's easy for me to do math 1200 bucks a month. Well, you could take 200 of it and that could be, you know, a hundred for each spouse or you could do 400, 200 for each spouse that still gives you 800 to put toward debt.

Now, if you only have, and that may seem like a lot like, oh, I don't know if I'd want, if I could spend a hundred or 200 on whatever you want in a month and that's fine too. Maybe you just save it. And if there's nothing you end up wanting eventually after a couple of months, you could just put it towards debt,

right. But you know, maybe if you only have $500 a month, maybe you can only do 40 or $50 to spend on whatever you want on funding. So it really depends on your budget, how much you have left over and what your priorities are. So if your priority is to travel and you still want to travel while you're paying off debt,

maybe 200 a month, that goes into your travel fund. And only, you know, you get like 40 bucks a month to, to just spend however you want each month because the bulk of your money is going into your travel fund and then the rest can go toward paying off debt. So it's really based on your situation, your priorities and how you want to spend your money and really budgeting,

paying off debt, saving money, all those things is being intentional with your finances, so that it goes toward what you want, because what ends up happening is we're mindlessly spending and we're buying things that we think we want here and there, or that we give gifts to people, or like, I, you know, I kind of need this, but it's because we're not thinking about the big picture things that we really need to focus on retirement,

saving for travel, saving for college, saving for a new car, all those things, because it gets lost in the day to day mindless spending. So it's really all about being intentional and setting reasonable amounts to spend or save or whatever on things that you enjoy so that you can put the rest of your money toward those bigger things that you really do want the benefit you in the long run.

So remember, it's just important to say a reasonable amount based on your priorities. And you shouldn't feel guilty for spending money on things that bring you joy, bring you happiness, that light up your life. You know, that you, if you go out to dinner with your friends and you just feel like a better mom afterwards, don't feel guilty spending money on that,

just set it aside in your budget. So you can do this in a couple of different ways. You can set aside money that you just spend on no matter it doesn't matter what it is like, you don't have to answer for it with your spouse or partner. You each get a set amount. You could also just set aside for that specific thing in your budget.

So let's say this is eating out or dinner with friends or lunch or however you want to do it. Just make sure that the rules for how the money is spent is clear with you and your partner. If you're sharing your finances, just and with yourself, like know that, okay, this is what I can spend this money on. And then you won't feel guilty about it later when you do spend the money on it.

And if you do this, you're going to be more likely to follow through with your overall plan and paying off debt. Because the more you do Prive yourself, the more resentful you are going to become, because you're going to start saying things like, why am I even do this? I miserable. What's the point. If I'm miserable, like this is no fun.

I'm not going to be able to do this for a year or two years, however long it takes you to pay off your debt. So you need to do the things that you can to motivate yourself and keep you on track so that you can stick with paying off your debt, saving money, because those things are going to take time. It's not like you're going to just be able to wake up tomorrow and pay off all of your debt.

If you could, you probably wouldn't be listening to the show, right? So it's going to take time. So you've got to do the things that are going to help you stick to your plan over time. And that includes setting money aside for things that are fun, that bring you joy, that you like to do without feeling guilty, because it's going to make you less resentful of the whole process.

And if you have a spouse that is the spender, it's going to make you less resentful of them because they're spending money on things that bring them joy and you're not. And so that's going to build up resentment in the relationship as well. So keep this in mind when you are feeling guilty for spending money on things that bring you happiness and things that you want.

So what is something that you can't afford to put in the budget for yourself? Is it getting your nails done on a regular basis? Or maybe it's just getting your nails done this month or this in this, you know, two months or whatever. It doesn't have to even be on a regular basis. Like maybe you just want to get your nails done today,

go do it. Or maybe you want to get your hair done before you take family pictures. So, you know, set it aside for that. That's what I usually do. I ended up like if I, if we have photos coming up, that's when I usually get my hair done, which is only a couple of times a year. So I don't even do it on a regular basis,

but maybe you do like to get your hair done on a regular basis. So figure out how much that's going to cost and put it in the budget on a monthly Mount. So you can put that into like a cash envelope or a digital cash envelope. However you want to save it. Think about these little things that you can do that maybe aren't on a regular basis.

Maybe you can get some bubble bath, a new book, maybe an audio book. You know, what else can you do? Maybe like for me, I set money aside for fast food eating out, because I know that that's just going to lessen my stress and I don't have to think about what to cook for dinner. For those certain days, it could be a meal planning service.

Maybe you get there's a couple of different ones. So like plate joys, one that I really liked that does the meal plans for you gives you the shopping list. You can even set it up with Instacart to have your groceries delivered, but you could also get meals that are actually delivered to you with the food and everything else, which, you know,

might cost a little bit more than actually cooking for yourself. But if it saves you time and stress or not even have to think about it, and some of those, you only, you could set it up to only be like a certain number of meals per week. So it doesn't even have to be like every single day. And if it helps lessen your stress keeps you happy,

keeps you motivated to keep towards your financial goals, then do it and do it with absolutely no guilt. Some other things you can try is to make it into a reward system or a game for yourself, if you really want to do whatever it is that, you know brings you joy, but you just having a hard time justifying it to yourself, or you're,

you're still feeling guilty, set it up as like, okay. So if right now let's say you're going through the drive-through or Starbucks or Dunkin donuts, whatever the case may be say, you're going out to get coffee like five times a week. Okay, well, give yourself permission to cut back. And if you, you know, save $40 this week,

you can go through the drive-through, like make it into like a little game. If you sell something, you can use that money for, you know, the drive through. Or if you spend, if you send an extra a hundred dollars to your debt, you can spend $20 on yourself. So, you know, you say you sell something for a hundred dollars.

You're going to take $20 and put it in your fun envelope, 80 toward debt. So it doesn't have to like every single penny go toward debt, but try and make it into a fun game or reward system to help keep you motivated and to kind of help with the guilt. A little bit of you're like me, and you feel like you have to send every single penny towards your debt,

but I hope that if you don't feel guilty about it, that that not feeling guilty about it, doesn't make you feel guilty. If that makes sense. So like, if you're like, oh, I wish I, you know, want to just send more money towards debt, but I really want to spend on this other stuff, like, don't feel guilty about that either.

Like as long as you are working towards your goal of saving money or paying off debt, then keep doing it because all that matters is that you keep going. So how ever you do that? Whatever you find that works for you, that keeps you motivated to keep doing it, then do it so I can don't feel guilty about it. So one,

another thing that you could do is if you challenge yourself for like, let's just say like one month with the game or the reward, you know, you could say you're gonna sell some things, save as much as you can one month. And then the next month you take off and, you know, spend extra money on things that you want. Then the next month you're more intense and you kind of rotate that as well.

So that's another idea for you as well. And another thing to keep in mind, cause I just mentioned the rewards in games and kind of doing that as to kind of motivate yourself too. But if you're going to not do that, and you're just going to say, I'm going to set aside $50 or a hundred dollars a month for whatever I want.

Just do that. No strings attached, no guilt attached, just do it. You don't have to earn it. But those suggestions are for people that are struggling with the guilt of setting that money aside for that purpose. But just, you know, as I keep saying, do what is going to motivate you to stick with it in the long term.

So if just setting aside $50 or a hundred dollars a month so that you can, you don't feel deprived because what happens when we feel deprived, once it's over, we binge. And so we don't want that. We want steady and consistent. So if it's a steady and consistent $5,000, $200 a month for whatever you want, no guilt, just do it,

just go with it because that is what is going to help you over time. Keep in mind, it's your money to do with what you want. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to feel guilty about it. You know, just enjoy that you have that ability to have that extra money, not feel guilty about it and still be able to move toward your financial goals.

So if you don't have that extra money in the budget right now, think of some cheaper or free ways that you can still find joy, reward yourself, things like that, or make a plan for, okay, I'm going to be super intense to pay off this bill. Once this bill is paid off, then I can use some of that money for myself.

And then the rest of it can keep going in my debt because what can happen and what a lot of people may tell you is, okay, you paid off a $200 bill, a $200 a month. Bill, you take that 200, you roll it into the next one. And then the next one and the next one. Well, if your budget is so tight,

that that $200 just gives you some breathing rooms. You can relax, take $50 a month and put it into your fun money. Then 150 into the debt snowball. Okay? It doesn't have to don't feel guilty if you don't want to put the whole 200 into the debt snowball because you need to do what is sustainable over time. Remember that's what this whole episode is about.

So give yourself some breathing room, figure out how you can do that. If your budget is super tight, see what you can sell. If you can sell anything, if you can come up with a side hustle, ways to make extra money, don't feel guilty. If you take some of that money for yourself and it's not all going toward your debt,

just remember we want to get to the finish line. It doesn't matter how we get there as long as we get there. So do what is going to keep you motivated overtime. Another thing that you can do with this money is to keep it separate. So I want to keep, you know, mention that, put it in a separate envelope, a separate account,

whatever. So it doesn't accidentally get spent on bills, things like that that will also help your guilt or stress when you go to spend that money. So if you have everything in your one checking account and you're at the store and you're like, oh, how much money do I have left? Can do I have this money? Can I spend it on what I want?

That will help you actually stick to that set amount? So if you just take it out in cash, or if you have your own spending account bank account, and then you can just easily check it on the app, okay, I've got $40 in this account that I can spend whatever I want. And, and then that way you're not feeling guilty.

You're not overspending as well. That will help you stick to that budget and it'll help lessen the guilt guilt. So just make sure that it's separate from your other money and you don't have to like track it. You don't have to save the receipts, all those types of things, just, you can spend it, you can see how much you have left and then you can spend it without any guilt.

But it's also important to just find what works for you. So you may, you know, you may like cash. You may not use a bank account. You can just make sure that it's separate so that you don't feel guilty or over spends. You may also find that with your personality, especially if you have like ADHD or severe depression, bipolar,

anything like that, where it's hard to control your impulsive spending, that you need extra layers to stick to your extra layers of blocks, to stick to your spending plan. So just like I mentioned, with the separate accounts or the cash, you may also need to get in the routine where you're doing an automatic transfer into your spending account and keep your main bills separate.

So you're not overspending. And then don't have the money to pay your bills. You may also need to remove your saved cards from your accounts to put that extra barrier, you know, like online, remove your, remove the saved cards, or remove them from your key chain, remove them from your computer and phone and all that stuff. So you actually have to like go get the card.

So that will help put up some barriers to stick to your spending amount as well. And, and if you have these issues with the impulse spending, you may also find that the habit of like writing down what you've spent is helpful, but keep in mind, you don't have to do that with your spending money. Cause remember it's no strings attached, no guilt attached,

but if you're having problems with overspending in that category, you may want to get in the habit of writing down when you do spend money. But like I said, put in those other barriers so that you're not, it's not as easy to overspend, especially if that's going to keep you from putting money in those accounts or getting that cash for that purpose.

If you kind of put these extra barriers in the way, you can help slow down that process, help yourself from not overspending. So it'll just help you be more mindful of your spending, which will lessen the guilt and the worry about setting money aside for fun things. So there's lots of different ways that you can keep yourself on track to give yourself permission to spend and not go overboard.

So to help you kind of get started with your budget plan, keep yourself on track. All of those types of things. You can get the free budget starter kit. That's where you start. If you're not sure you're overwhelmed. Get the free budget starter kit@budgetsmadeeasy.com slash start. So budgets made easy.com/start. I will also link to it in the show notes,

so you can just click on it there as well, but that will help you get started. Remember what to put in your budget, including funds stuff and let me know, come follow me on Instagram, instagram.com/budgets made easy. And let me know what you are going to put in your budget. That is just for fun, just because you want it because it will help keep you motivated and on track over time.

And I hope you guys have a great week.