Are you constantly overspending because you're bored or you get distracted, you know, you're scrolling on your phone and you go to the Amazon app, the target Walmart and all the things. And next thing you know, you spent $50. You hadn't planned on well in today's budget strategy session, episode, I talk with Hayes and we discuss overspending because of boredom,

ADHD, you know, depression and anxiety and how you can take steps toward stopping that behavior. When you really don't want to spend that money, but it just becomes impulsive. And so I hope you were enjoying this coaching week. If you haven't listened to the other episodes yet, go check out Jen's episode Internet's episode as well. And we have more to come this week as well.

If you would like to sign up for one of these budget strategy sessions, go to budgets, made easy.com/strategy. And I can't wait for you to hear what Hayes is going to work on to overcome the mindlessly, an impulsive spending, welcome to the money mindset podcast, where you'll find a judgment free zone to help you free yourself from overthinking and the fear of doing things the wrong way.

It's time to shed yourself of the mom, guilt, procrastination, and perfectionism. So you can start doing the things that you really want to do with your money instead of just working to pay bills. I'm Ashley, Patrick X detective turned debt-free CEO of my very own business and stay at home. Mom of three, not too long ago. My dreams of staying at home with my kids seem to possible.

I thought I'd have to stay miserable in a high stress in demanding job, just so I could retire someday. After gaining the confidence in my own ability to manage my family's finances and a simple step-by-step plan to make it happen. I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months, which then allowed me to finally quit my job, stay at home with my kids and build a debt-free business.

Now, my mission is to help moms like you conquer debt and free themselves from the mental load of handling their family's finances. If you're ready to shed the guilt and shame surrounding your past money, mistakes, and tackle your debt, this is the place for you. Let's get started. Well, thank you so much for being with us today. We are going to dive into some of the things that you're struggling with right now in terms of your finances.

And just so everybody knows she is in money, success coaching. So, you know, she has some extra resources and things that I may suggest for her today, but really let us know a little bit about you and kind of what you're going through with your finances right now. Okay. Well, I actually started with you, like what a year or two ago I started here and there and I think this year I finally joined the success program.

I've been really bad with budgeting. I don't budget. I don't know how to budget, but I did do the spreadsheet. Okay. Got it. All work done on paper. It was perfect. I was like rich on paper. And now it's, it's back to, you know where to go. Yeah. I do have a store, the savings fund.

I do have that and I've kept that. So that's good. That is good. And the cash with the monopoly money that I thought was such a cool idea. Yeah. Well, you know how that went? It just went out the window. Other than that, I mean, I have a budget, but I just can't stick to it because when I get upset,

it's like, oh, Amazon's calling my name. Yes. Facebook. Yeah. Yeah. And then Facebook knows how to hit those buttons too. Oh my gosh. Tell me about it. It listens. It does. I have to figure out how to turn the ears off. I get all these range, you know, like the anxiety rings or whatever.

And I'm like, oh, that looks neat in there. And there It is on the Facebook. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, my husband was like, what is this? No, no, Amazon, I have a door hanger as it's Amazon. Yes. It's my house again, you know, I have a door hanger made for that,

so I'm kind of working on it, but you know, I'm getting a bit scared now cause everything's skyrocketing like electric and my water is just went up $30 and like, food is insane. And if my husband would have had the job he had last year, we wouldn't make it now. Wow. But thank God he got a different job and he's making more money.

But now my hospital bills and all that crap are coming in. So I'm like, oh, okay. So I'm really just floored. Every, I don't even want to look at mailbox. Yeah. I don't because it's like, wow. Okay. But that the lady with the insurance that you showed Me, medical bills. Yeah. That is really,

it helped a lot already. That's awesome. That was episode. Oh my gosh. I forgot it was with Dr. Bergey. And let me look up which episode it was on, on this podcast. So people can go listen to it because it saved you. How much money did you tell me that that episode helped you? I think 500 stuff for,

Yeah, it was, it was quite a bit Hunter and a thousand to four. And I didn't even get to where my surgery is yet. So Yeah. I hate how medical bills, like you get a bill from everybody now. It's crazy. So that was episode 74, the three steps to take before your medical bills. So go check that out.

It saved her quite a bit of money on her medical bills so far. I'm sure it'll save you some more as they keep coming in. Now let's talk about the emotional spending a little bit, because this is something that a lot of people struggle with and you are my, at the time of this recording, you're my third person. So I was still like getting in the groove with these budget strategy sessions and every single one of you have talked about the emotional spending and how,

you know, mom guilt and boredom and you know, different things trigger it, but it's all really boils down to the emotional spending. And so, no, you're not alone. Everybody struggles with that. And you know, there is training in your money, success, coaching dashboard. There's a bonus training with a certified financial therapist on this topic. So if you haven't by chance,

watch that yet. Definitely check that out. Is he the one with the mint? Like he talks about the mint to the, I think so he'd like doodles and stuff. He had like little doodles. Yeah. Yeah. The doodle guy. Yeah. His good Derek and I, oh my gosh. I'm blanking on his last name, but the training's in there sounds like you've watched it,

but it's always good to go back and watch things again. Cause you pick up on different things, you know, when you hear it more than once, it's always good to listen to things more than once. But what I would encourage you to do is just like in that training is to set up a, a what's the word I'm trying to say,

like a gap, a barrier, a roadblock to your spending. So, you know, as an example, he talked about if you're, you know, depressed or anxious or you know, just bored, whatever, and you're shopping on Amazon, you know, put stuff in your cart, but not checkout right away. Like set up a rule and don't,

you're not going to be perfect at this. Like it takes practice. You're not going to just like magically be a different person tomorrow. It takes practice. So you have to just not give up. Yeah. In a C word. I don't do good with consistency. You know, That's everybody, you're human. This is everybody I told my mom the other day,

because she's like right at that point to where she wanted something. I said, mom, you know, walk away from it. If you still want it, when you come back in a couple of days, then by I can tell people that I can't do it myself. Hey you them. And she said, that's easy for you to say, right.

But I said, you know, if it's still there, then, you know, get it. If not, you weren't meant to get it. And you know, what's funny is I had like the same or a similar situation with my mom this weekend too. I wanted my computer, my work computers, both of them are starting to shut down on me and I wanted to just go buy a new computer.

And my mom said, she's like, well, what would you tell your people to do? And I was like, wait, save up the money. You know? And all this stuff, I was like, fine. I won't go, just buy a computer. She's like, well, would you tell your feet? I'm like, okay, fine.

Sometimes we have to listen to our moms still. And I'll be 80 years old listening to my mom. Exactly. Of what is your big vision, your big overall, maybe like two to three year goal. Have you, have you really like sat down and thought about that or dreamt about what you want? You know, I that's the one, that's one thing I could never do.

Like I'm not a dreamer law. I have dreams. I mean, I like to get the hell out of here. You know? I mean our house and, and, you know, just disappear, but realistically, like I have to get saved money for a furnace and air conditioner by October much. That's like 12 grand a year. Yeah. This year I'm going to do that.

But I to get the house fixed up on a, pay off the car, like now I want to do all of this, like right now because my husband needs his truck because he's like, he's taking his quarter work and it's not really, it's a little, maybe Honda and it's not a work truck. That's just not true. But you know,

I got to do all this. Am I going to do it right now? Do you feel like you've got all this right now? Yeah. And all the medical bills coming in and that stuff. And then that, that my brain just like shifts that off. And it's like, because you know, I talked to you before, like I'm, it's crazy.

I'm crazy. Like all of us, you know, bipolar, I have anxiety and depression. And like I was on another zoom meeting with you. And a lot of us are like that. Yes. I did get upset and start thinking about, you know, all the things that have to do it just shuts off. And it's like, oh,

well look at this little thing on Amazon, you can open that. So that's, that's what happened. Yeah. It's a vicious cycle. It is. It is. And it's very common. And I would say, and I, you know, you've shared a little bit, but I don't want to overstep my bounds here, but you may want to think about or see about if you might have ADHD.

Cause I like almost everybody in my family has it. And it's like, you know, when you get overwhelmed, you just walk away and do something else. And that's very common. I have that and add and OCD. Yeah. Have it all. Just a bunch of ju You're not, you know, you're not a lost cause though, like we all do these things and we,

you know, consistency, you know, that was my word of the year. Last, I think it was last year. I've been trying to do a word of the word of the year and it's helpful, but it's not the answer to everything. It's really not it's it sounds good in theory. And you think it'll solve all your problems, but we're human and you know,

we're not going to be consistent all the time. And really what you've got to focus on is figuring out a system that'll work for you and building those habits in routines. And that's how you get more of the consistency. But no, you're not going to be perfect at every day. And I feel like that's what we think consistency is, is doing.

Like what, you know, you're supposed to do. Like every single day. Well, that's not possible. We're human things come up. Like people get sick, we have bills come up. We didn't plan for like that's normal. And so you do have to give yourself some permission to screw up and not be perfect all the time and know that you're giving yourself permission to fail.

You know, that's how you get Harper moms, you know, hard. I mean, my kids are grown and my son, actually, my oldest one just lost his Jeep and he just, he paid for it for two months and he just got it towed the day because he got caught in a landslide. He he's okay. But the Jeeps did Well.

I'm glad he's okay. Yeah. And there was like rocks and sticks in my head, all in the engine, but they're going to fix it I guess. Oh, it wasn't totaled. No, because he knows too much. So I drop a new engine and that's how car insurance works. If you owe more than it's going to cost to fix,

they won't total it. Oh God. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Because cars are so expensive now I forget that. Sometimes it's like, it's insane. How expensive thing. And so, yeah, I guess it would take a lot more than that to total it. Yeah. Well, I would encourage you to create some visuals of what your dream is because what I hear,

I hear you saying all this stuff you need to do in an unrealistic timeframe. And then you just shut down because it's not, it's not realistic for you to probably come up with 12 grand in a month. I mean, October is six weeks away. So unless you've got, you know, a pile of money somewhere or get something you can sell,

it's not realistic for you to pay cash for it. But if you need it and you can afford like payments, maybe you can figure out how you, I mean, cause you're, you're going to have to have heat for the winter. So, you know, just little baby steps, you know, you know the one small action that you can do this week.

And it could be as simple as, you know, deleting the Amazon app off your phone or deleting their credit cards that are saved in there to make it harder for you to spend on Amazon. Like you got to take an extra step to spend money. Like you can delete your cards out of there and then you have to like, go get your car.

It's like so much more effort. Right? Cause it's so easy. They have it set up so easy to spend money. I know. I never thought of that. That's a good idea. Thanks. That's one small thing you could do. That's a really big thing actually. So that could be, let's see, I was going to ask you what was one small thing you could do in the next 24 hours?

And I think that, I think that should be your thing. Does that sound like something you could do in the next 24 hours? Oh yeah, I do it as soon as we're done. Yeah. Awesome. Well, I'm going to follow up with you tomorrow, make sure that you did it for a little bit more accountability. Oh, okay.

Yeah. That makes, I, I don't know. I never thought of that. Oh, I mean, you know, that's what I'm here for. Oh my goodness. Yeah. That'd be like, you don't know how much money a month or you don't know. Yeah. I can imagine. I can imagine. And you know, just that extra step could,

as long as you don't memorize the card number. Cause I told somebody else that and they're like, what? I have the card memorized. Oh, don't memorize the card number. Okay. Just delete it. Oh, there, there were some me that's funny. So you're not the only one like seriously, you are not the only one. And that's what I really want people that are listening to understand by sharing your guys's stories that we all do.

These things like everybody, nobody is perfect. We're human. Like we have to give our PR ourselves permission to be human sometimes because we just try to be perfect. And then we're like, oh, well that didn't work because it didn't work today. But that doesn't mean it won't work over time and you just have to keep practicing and keep trying, Just keep going.

You just Got to keep doing it. You really do. I feel like a broken record, but I say that all the time, but it's true. You have to. Yeah, I know. It's like they say like 21 days or so. Don't don't believe that because I do something for 21 days and on the 22nd day, it's like, it's not habit.

Yeah. Did you like, see I did 21 days. I don't have to do it today. Yeah. See, it's just, it doesn't become habit. Well, it's still 90 days, but you know, you're just, you're not, you're not going to do it every single day, but if you get in a good routine, so let's say just as an example,

maybe you give yourself permission to only look at Amazon one day a week and you know, that is a habit. And maybe that would help you get out of the habit of looking at it when you're bored. That's just one example. Just another thought that just popped in my head. But you know, and then you would get in the habit of,

because it's very easy. I don't know if you shop on your phone or computer, but you know, when we're bored, what do we do? We grab a device and we start scrolling like that. Everybody, like we're all addicted to our devices and the internet. And so, you know, maybe if you fill in, like you want to go on Amazon or Walmart or,

you know, wherever I'm using, I use the Amazon example all the time. But you know, maybe instead of looking at that, you set a reminder to listen to a podcast, you know, maybe you turn on an audio book or, you know, something like that. That'll help distract your brain instead of going on to Amazon. So that's just another thought that just popped in my head.

Thanks. You're Welcome. Yeah, but I got a download and download that app. I think that'll do wonder that's all I do is like flip, flip, flip question. I'm all down a rabbit trail. Yes. Especially if you're using the app. See, I don't like looking at, I don't like shopping on my phone. It's too small.

So I always do it on a computer, but my kids sure. Do they like to get on my Amazon app? That's for sure. Yeah. My oldest one's good. My husband looks at me. I'm like, oh, it was not mine. Yeah. The neighbors are like, huh, it was worse. You know her, the kid.

I said, if it was one person, we'd have to buy him a Christmas present. You know, we wouldn't have to. I see people do that, you know, close to Christmas, they set up like for the delivery drivers, you know? So, well, I hope that this was beneficial for you, that you got something out of it.

Do you have any questions for me as we wrap up? No. Awesome. All right. So I'm going to follow up. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. One thing while I'm good for like, I have the spreadsheet, the new one. I have it all set out and working perfectly, but I haven't opened my computer for two months to look at it.

Okay. So whenever I do and I run into problems, I can just email you, right? Yes. Yes. You know, you can download the Google sheets app. So you can, you can't do all the things on the app on your phone that you can do on your computer. So it's good to just use, to like check in with your spending or add like add your spending to it.

But the like getting it set up what you've already got it set up. It's much, much easier on the computer, but you can put it on your phone so you could look at it as you need. Okay. And I do have one more question about, yeah. Here come the questions, right? Yeah. It happens all the time on that,

on the spreadsheet. Okay. Do you track your, your spending on that too? Yep. What'd you can do on your phone Too, but you certainly can. Now what I have found with people that are, you know, almost all of us, cause we're easily distracted by our phones, but especially if you have ADHD, is I prefer to write it down because you don't,

what happens? You pick up your phone and you go to do it and you forgot what you picked up your phone for. Next thing, you know, you're on Facebook or Amazon or whatever on your phone. So you might want to just get a little notebook. I prefer, oh, I don't have it with me. I like to have just a small notebook,

not, you know, so it doesn't take up so much room in my purse and then I just carry it with me, which actually I don't have it with me today. It's sitting on my nightstand, but I usually try and keep it in my purse. But that may be a better option for you than the spreadsheet. You just have to figure out what works for you by trial and error.

And maybe it's a combination of both. Like I use both, I've got the planner, I've got the spreadsheet, I've got a notebook, but it's really figuring out what works for you, which means trying different things. So if you're easily distracted, you may not want to put the app on your phone. Cause that's what happens to me all the time.

I'm like, wait a second. What did I, what was I going to do? I totally forgot. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah. And everyone's like, well, I thought you were going to make dinner. I'm like, oh, that's what I was going to do. Yeah. Like an hour ago. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I forgot. You know, tick tock, man, that tick tock. I don't know if I should And I will not let myself get that because my husband has it and I'm bad with baseball. And I said, if I get hit tech talk, I I'm, I'm gone. Oh my gosh. It's like an hour later. You're like what happened?

Like yeah, don't download it. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That one. I won't get I'll delete animals one too. Yeah. All right. So you're going to delete Amazon the app. Are you going to also delete your credit cards from being saved in there? Are you going to do both or just delete the app? I'll do one step.

Okay. So I cut my fingers off here, you know, That's that's okay. I love the honesty. You're being honest with yourself and you're not expecting yourself to do something that, you know, you're probably not going to do, which just sets you up for failure. So I love that you are being honest about it. Yeah. I'm a little too honest sometimes,

but yeah. That's all right. I can, if I really wanted, I can go online and Yes, exactly. You can just maybe and you know, we'll just see how it goes, how you do without the app. And then we'll follow up and see if needed to take a couple other steps to see if it helps. Yeah. Because when I'm balancing,

I just balance my checkbook this yesterday. I was like, oh no, here we go. Again. The PayPal, PayPal, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon aims. And I have to write it all down and I'm like, chase. Yeah. Yeah. That's when I realized, you know, I'm sorry. Oh, okay. That's a little bit much,

but Yeah, exactly. So it, I mean it happens, it happens. It's totally normal. It happens to me if I'm, if I'm not paying attention and looking at it because it's so easy to do, like, it's just so easy to spend money. And if you're not like tracking it diligently, it's like, oh, how did that happen?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't know where it went. Yeah. Yup. Exactly. So, you know, check out. You're okay. You're going to delete the app. You've got resources to check out in your dashboard. Of course you can always email me if you have any questions, but you got a couple of things to try and of course,

you know, post in the Facebook group as well and reach out if you need some extra support. Oh, okay. All right. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for taking the time with us today. Okay. You're welcome. Thank you. So I followed up with Hayes after interview and she not only deleted the Amazon app, but she deleted chewy and I believe it was Walmart.

She deleted her three total apps that were causing her to over spend. So let me know on Instagram, tag me. If you are going to delete an app or your credit card number out of, you know, the internet, wherever you're shopping, Amazon, Walmart, you know, whatever the thing is, let me know if you are going to take that step or if you have taken that step so that you can stick to your budget easier.

Also, don't forget if you want to join me for one of these budget strategy sessions, go to budgets, made easy.com/strategy. And tomorrow we've got another episode for coaching week and I will talk to you then.