Welcome to the money mindset podcast. We'll, you'll find a judgment prezoned to help you free yourself from overthinking and the fear of doing things the wrong way. It's time to shed yourself of the mom, guilt, procrastination, and perfectionism. So you can start doing the things that you really want to do with your money instead of just working to pay bills.

I'm Ashley, Patrick X detective turn. Debt-free CEO of my very own business and stay at home. Mom of three, not too long ago. My dreams of staying at home with my kids seem to possible. I thought I'd have to stay miserable in a high stress and demanding job just so I could retire someday. After gaining the confidence in my own ability to manage my family's finances and a simple step-by-step plan to make it happen.

I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months, which then allowed me to finally quit my job. Stay at home with my kids and build a debt-free business. Now, my mission is to help moms like you conquer debt and free themselves from the mental load of handling their family's finances. If you're ready to shed the guilt and shame surrounding your past money,

mistakes, and tackle your debt, this is the place for you. Let's get started. Hi Jen, thank you so much for being my Guinea pig on this new flow system on the money mindset podcast. So what we're going to do today is a budget strategy session, and you are my first one. So we're going to, we're going to go with the flow,

see where the conversation takes us. I appreciate you being my Guinea pig so much. So Jen is a member of money, success coaching. So, you know, she is one of you, she's not another blogger or finance expert, like I usually have on here. And so we are going to dive into, you know, a little bit of her finances,

kind of see what's going on and how we can help her. So these are kind of mini kind of coaching sessions is what we can kind of call it for right now, while I'm still figuring out the process and everything. So thank you for being the first one and agreeing to do this for me and for the podcast, because you know, a lot of people and I'm sure you can relate to this as well.

When we hear other people's stories and we can relate to them, we don't feel so alone. And so the more that you can share, of course only share what you're comfortable with, but you know, other people can relate to you because you're not alone. Like we all struggle with our finances. We all have setbacks. We all have things that we're not sure about.

Like literally everybody, cause nobody's perfect. Everybody makes mistakes, even all the, you know, the experts out there. They've all, almost all of them. I, that I can think of have learned, you know, have made mistakes and that's how we, and keep going. So I appreciate you being here. So let's dive in, let me know,

kind of what are you struggling with right now with your finances? Well, I think my biggest problem is impulse spending and just not knowing where my money is going. I mean, I do make a decent salary, but I find myself living paycheck to paycheck because I don't know how to manage the money. I mean, I know a little bit, but I just can't put it into practice.

Gotcha. And are you doing this alone or do you have a partner or spouse that you're alone and you have children, correct? Yes. Two children, 18 and 15. Awesome. So you're, I'm assuming you're still taking care of the 18 year old, Just graduated, Going to college. No, he's going to it, he'd gone to trade school and then we have time working as an electrical apprentice.

So I want to make sure I learn so I can put him on the right money past. Absolutely. And as parents, you know, that's what a lot of us, you know, our hope that our children will do better than us. Right. So that's awesome. And trade schools. Great. And what part of the world are you from?

Where, Where are you in New York? And that's a very expensive high taxes part of the country. So if you're listening, you know, outside the U S and don't realize that that is a very high cost of living there. So what do you feel like causes you to impulse spend? So usually there's a trigger. It could be a mom guilt,

maybe just scrolling on the internet, you know, Amazon, it's so easy now to spend money without really thinking about You don't have to go out anywhere to go spend it. You can spend it right from your living room sofa. You know, a lot of it is some times emotional, too, you know? Absolutely. So it's either spend money or eat.

So Yeah, exactly. Sometimes I do both. So yeah, we totally relate to that. Do you have you started, cause I know you're in money, success coaching, have you watched the, it was a workshop and it was about, you know, recognizing your triggers for when you do mindlessly spent and you know, kind of identifying those and putting up roadblocks between the actual spinning,

you know, the trigger and the actual spending the money. So some of those things could be waiting 24 hours. So maybe you are, you know, just bored looking on Amazon. You could add things to cart, but not check out right away. So that's just kind of like one idea. And I want to say, it's how to control impulse spinning.

Now I can, oh my gosh, my brain, I get, this is going to bug me now. I'm going to have to look it up because it's, it's bothering me. Cause I cannot think of what it's called, but it's in your dashboard. It's in there for you to kind of go back and review that for you and I'll get you the name of it.

Sometimes I do try waiting 24 hours, like putting something in the car and I do find some companies will then send you a coupon to check out, which kind of pushes you more to check out, which is kind of the opposite of what I want to do. That's very true too. That is true. But at least you've got kind of that time gap and you know,

maybe ask yourself the question. Do I really need this? Or do I just want this? And another thing that I've tried to put into practice is is this by purchasing this as it going to get me closer to my goals. So I'm sure you have financial goals you have, do you, what's your big overall financial goal besides, you know, living paycheck to paycheck,

like that's kind of a baseline goal. Like what's your overall dream for your life because finances are in all aspects, right? I'd love to take up a great vacation with my kids, like to Hawaii or something. Oh yeah. That would be awesome. So if you kind of keep that in the back of your mind, so when you see that like,

is this going to get me closer to that Hawaiian vacation? If I spend money on this and you know what you could even like, if you actually, you know, have the money, you're not going further into debt instead of purchasing it, you could put that same money into a vacation fund and just kind of reward yourself or you could do half or,

you know, but kind of give you, give yourself that low reward for not spending the money at that. So Yeah. So you know, you, I have people ask me all the time, like is three big accounts too much, or four bank accounts or how many accounts you should have. I have like 15 bank accounts at four different banks.

One thing you could do with that vacation money is put it in like an online bank where you can't easily transfer it back and forth. So it stays there. And if you really do need it, you can still get to it. But it's not a quick, like I'm standing at target. I can just transfer the money from savings to checking to pay for this.

So it kind of keeps it out of sight out of mind. And then when you do have those little wins, you can transfer the money into that Hawaiian vacation fund. So that would be a recommendation that I have for you on that aspect. Do you have, do you struggle with saying no to the kiss? Cause I feel like as moms, Yeah.

I struggle with it for sure. Do you feel like any of that is playing into this as well? Like they're asking, especially teenagers, you know, cause nothing they want is cheap of course. Is that kid Playing? Exactly. Exactly. So, you know, some of that could be, if that is part of the issue too, you know,

cause they're older, they're going to understand and say, you know, this is what I really want to do and set a timeline goal for it say in two years, or maybe three years when your youngest graduates high school, maybe that could be your goal. Like when he graduates, I want to take us to a Hawaiian vacation. And so in order to do that,

I'm going to have to say no to some things so that I can put money into this vacation fund. And we, as a family can go and experience this and get them to buy into it, like sell them on the dream. Right. Like we could go and surf and snorkel and like do all the things to celebrate, you know, your,

your youngest son. I probably shouldn't be like, you know, Actually he's better at money than I am. He loves to save and watch his account grow. Oh, that's awesome. So he Definitely, I'm just thinking of like my kids graduate. I was like, I don't want to think about it, but you've, you've done it once so far.

So maybe it's not so bad. Yeah. It's still hasn't fully hit me that he's not going back to high school in September, so True, true. Cause it's still summertime Starting to, of starting to pick up some school supplies, but Oh yeah. It's tough. Yeah. So get, you know, kind of get them to buy into the dream and the goal and you know,

you could even make a vision board or put up a picture of Hawaii on the fridge to just have those subtle reminders that you can see often, you know, put maybe a picture on your bathroom mirror or in your closet, on your closet door, you know, and just kind of, you're going to have to keep reminding them and yourself of what your bigger goal is and know that you're going to screw up from time to time.

You're still going to impulsive place spend. I mean, that's, that's just normal, but if you keep building up those wins over time, you're going to get there and they're going to become less and less and you're going to make the progress that you want to make, especially when you have that Focus a lot time. A lot of times I lose focus.

Yes, yes. And maybe even on your phone, you could put a picture of the beach or something as your wallpaper or your lock screen, you know, just kind of a countdown timer. You know, they have apps for everything. So, you know, set a date for your goal and make sure it's, you know, not 10 years from now,

like if you could afford it, like if you look up and say, okay, I want to save $10,000 and two years do the math. You know, maybe it needs to be two and a half or three, but make sure it's a realistic but timely goal. So it's not five, 10 years from now, unless it needs to be five years.

But it sounds like you, you can probably say for two to three without diving into all the numbers and just keep those reminders around so that you can stay focused and it'll happen. It tilts momentum on itself. You know, it really does. Do you have your written budget yet? No. I started by pulling my current bank records, like my checking account records and I'm trying to like categorize to see where I'm spending money to try to figure out how to set it up.

But that's where I kind of fall apart. I get through the whole, you know, figuring out what I spent and then it's like, okay, well where do I go from here? So like, I, like I was saying, I could, I could look back and see and categorize that, but then moving forward and putting it in practice,

that's where I kind of fall apart. It's almost kind of like rebelling against it to almost in a way, you know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. So maybe you call it, you know, cause a lot of people don't like the word budget. Do you not? Like when you hear the word, how do you feel? I feel like I need to do that.

You know, like I, but if I put restrictions in place, like that's, I'm going to be like, yeah, I can spend money anyway, you know? Okay, got it, got it. So, you know, maybe you can call it your spending plan and you don't have the line item there for your vacation and it doesn't have to be much,

it could be, you know, $20 and, you know, just to kind of remind yourself, but really the basics of it is to not make yourself feel deprived and restricted to the point where you are gonna repel. Right. Cause it's just kinda like a diet when you're like, oh, I can't eat carbs. And then that's all you think about.

So, you know, really have that vacation reminder, kinda every where to remind yourself, to keep yourself like focused, you know, there's other things you can do as well. Like taking your credit card numbers out of Amazon. So they're not stored in there and you have to ask Oh, you remember? Oh my gosh, I can not do that.

Everything's saved<inaudible> up here. You know, that's where I, you know, I try to use the debit card more than the credit cards and it's fun. Yeah. But people laugh at me when I could rattle off the number. Right. You know, on the spot. Yeah. I, my brain, I just, I can't store, I don't think any more information in there,

so it would just fall out. So I can't, I can't remember that. So really just think about, and focus on the end goal and create a spending plan that helps you get there. And when you focus on that overall goal, it'll help motivate you along the way, but really it's just a spending plan. So how much do you know,

just like your regular monthly expenses, you know, the, the bills that are going to stay relatively the same, you know, like power, water, internet, cell phone, you know, like your basic monthly expenses that aren't going to fluctuate too much. I know power can go up and down. You know, food and gas has been kind of,

you know, up and down mainly up. So, you know, all those things kind of fluctuate. But if you kind of give yourself some flexibility in the spending plan, you won't feel so restricted. So, you know, give yourself some spending money for whatever you want. You know, it could be 20 bucks, it could be a hundred bucks.

It just kind of depends. But give yourself that flexibility so that you don't feel so restricted. It doesn't have to be perfect. Right? It's, it's a process and it's a journey and you know, you're going to have ups and downs along the way, but as long as you're at least in the directory that you want to go, you're going to get there regardless of the ups and downs because you're having,

And I think that's part of my problem too. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist. Like I, if I can't do it exactly right on me, I don't want to do, you know? Yes. I struggle with that too. So give your, just give yourself permission and realize that it's not going to be perfect. Like you're humid. You're not perfect.

You'll never be perfect. You will never be perfect. And there is not a right perfect way to do things with personal finance. There are best practices or maybe what works for me. And it may be a little bit different for you. You may take something that I do and make it work for you. There is no perfect right way and give yourself permission to fail,

to screw up and to figure it out as you go, because you're not going to be perfect at it. Nobody is I'm sorry. I struggled with this too. It's like, ah, I just want to do it the right way. But that just is a mental roadblock. You know, you're just setting you're, you're just keeping yourself stuck instead of just trying different things to find what works for you and just know that it's gonna,

that's going to take you some time. Like it's not going to be, oh, next week, I'm gonna have this down. I'm going to be perfect. I'm going to stick to my budget. I'm never going to screw up. It's going to take time. It's going to take practice. It's going to take building new habits and routines and you know,

and staying focused on that big goal, that shorter term, a longer goal, you know, it's, you know, two to three year goal and then make sure once you hit that goal, that you create another goal. Cause this is where I have screwed up in the past. Once I've hit the big goal, then I feel lost. Right.

We just had some technical difficulties had to switch computers. So thank you so much for your patience. Hopefully everybody can hear me all right now. So we were talking about your budget and being a perfectionist, which I think a lot of us are and we overthink things which goes back to the perfectionism. We, you know, we want to do it the right way.

And so that's a lot of over thinking and feeling like we don't have control and some anxiety in there. So, you know, just give yourself permission to fail because you just, you're going to, I mean, that's just life. Things are going to come up that you haven't thought of yet, especially in the beginning now, as you build those habits and those routines,

you will find that that happens less and less. So, you know, in the beginning it will be more setbacks and figuring out what works and what needs to go into your spending plan. And then as you get going and you really get in a good routine with things that will, it will become a lot easier and a lot smoother and things won't come up to derail you as often.

What do you have any questions for me before we wrap up? No, I think I definitely liked the idea of putting like a big goal in place to remind me otherwise, you know, I lose focus. Yeah. It's easy to do. So I hope that you got some good information out of this now, what is one thing that you can do today in the next 24 hours to help you kind of reset and get focused on this?

The goal I am going to restructure the budget that I was creating. So put a line item in for that goal. Awesome. And I would encourage you to maybe print some pictures off, go ahead and do that in the next 24 hours. Yes. Maybe a countdown timer, you know, kind of look at the calendar, maybe set a general date and kind of get it set up on your phone as well.

So I'm going to follow up with you in 24 hours. See if you have done that yet. And I liked that a little bit better, cause I don't, you know, unless you're going to work on your budget today, I feel like that's maybe a little bit more doable 24 hours ago. Maybe a little more realistic. Yeah, exactly. A little bit more realistic there.

So thank you for spending time with us today and sorry about the internet issues. Hopefully, you know, you guys can hear all the audio and everything like that. So thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you to Jen for sharing and being willing to be the first person to do the budget strategy session. Now keep in mind, you can do this as well.

Go to budgets, made easy.com/strategy to sign up and we can work through together what you are struggling with. And I also want to mention that I am so freaking proud of Jen. She sent me a message shortly after our interview. She had her pictures on her phone, on her apple watch. Every time she looked at her watch, she saw a picture of Hawaii and she is so freaking excited to take this vacation and start building on this big dreams.

So make sure you are following along because it is coaching week. There'll be another coaching session tomorrow, another budget strategy session. If you loved it, make sure you are following. So you automatically get the other sessions they will download. And let me know on Instagram tag me, let me know what you think of these new budget strategy sessions. Do you like them?

Do you not? Do you love them? Like I do like, Ugh, I just get so energized by it. But anyway, I will talk to you guys tomorrow.