00:00:00	Have you ever got so excited about the new year? It's January, new year, new me, and are surprised when, you know, by March the goals are in a drawer and you haven't even started on any of them. And you know, by the end of the year you've forgotten what you even said you were gonna do for the year, right?
00:00:24	That happens so much. Most people do not know how to create goals that you can actually achieve that are smart goals. If you have ever heard the term, all right, the dogs started barking and guess what? They were barking at nothing. There's nothing like trying to record a podcast at home. I think the dogs are worse than the kids cuz there's no kids here today.
00:00:52	So the dogs gotta be barking anyway, so you know how you make a goal and you wait until January, you're gonna like, okay, this year I'm gonna lose some weight, I'm gonna get caught up on my to-do list at home. I'm gonna do all these projects that I have put off. I'm gonna save all this money, pay off all this debt.
00:01:11	And then a few months later you haven't even started. Like that is typical. Like 60% of people that set New Year's resolutions give up by J February. Or actually they give up in January and like 80% give up by February. So most people don't even achieve or start on their New Year's resolutions. And the reason for that is, is they are not making smart goals.
00:01:39	And so today I have a guess, Monica, who's gonna tell you about, you know, the mistakes that she used to make with her goal setting as well and what she has done to change it. So she's actually achieving her goals now. And so I wanted to share her strategy with you so that you know this next year can be your year that you actually achieve your goals.
00:02:03	Because you know what? It doesn't start in January. No, no, no. Studies have shown that to achieve your goals and have a great year, it starts at the end of the last year. It starts with planning and deciding what you're going to actually do the following year. It's not by setting New Year's resolution. So let's dive into this episode and you know,
00:02:25	if you would like to come on the podcast with me, if you are struggling with your budget, your maybe your goals or you know, whatever the case may be, come on the podcast with me and let's work through it together. We can come up with some action steps on how to improve things and what you can do to get going. So to sign up for that session,
00:02:47	it is budgets Made easy.com/strategy. All right, let's dive in and make some goals for the new year. Welcome to the Money Mindset podcast. Well, you'll find a judgment free zone to help you free yourself from overthinking and the fear of doing things the wrong way. It's time to shed yourself of the mom, guilt, procrastination, and perfectionism so you can start doing the things that you really want to do with your money instead of just working to pay bills.
00:03:17	I'm Ashley Patrick, ex detective turned debt free, CEO of my very own business and stay-at-home mom of three. Not too long ago, my dreams of staying at home with my kids seemed impossible. I thought I'd have to stay miserable in a high stress and demanding job just so I could retire someday. After gaining the confidence of my own ability to manage my family's finances and a simple step-by-step plan to make it happen,
00:03:43	I was able to pay off $45,000 in just 17 months, which then allowed me to finally quit my job, stay at home with my kids and build a debt-free business. Now my mission is to help moms like you conquer debt and free themselves from the mental load of handling their family's finances. If you're ready to shed the guilt and shame surrounding your past money mistakes and tackle your debt,
00:04:06	this is the place for you. Let's get started. I'm Monica, thank you so much for coming on the Money Mindset podcast. You talk about goal setting. Before we dive in, can you just tell us a little bit about yourself and why you're the person to talk about goal setting? Hi, well first of all, I just wanna thank you so much for having me.
00:04:28	It's a true pleasure to talk to you and talk to your audience. So goal setting is one of those near and dear to my heart. I started seriously goal setting like at least 15 years ago, and I was a single mom raising a couple of kids who are amazing and time is very tight. And when I used to do goal setting, I was always very frustrated with it because they never seemed to pan out.
00:04:56	And then what I learned was I was just doing them all wrong. And so every I've been doing, now that I know how to do it, I do it every year. The process evolves and changes with the way my lifestyle evolves and changes and the kids get older and I think I've got it pretty much nailed down to the way it works for,
00:05:16	for me. So, so I'm, I'm excited to, to share what the, what the, with the process was and the the journey. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. And I love that you said you tried many things to find what worked for you because I try and stress this so much to my audience because we're all a bunch of overthinking perfectionists and we feel like there is a right way,
00:05:42	way to do things, but you really have to figure out the part that works for you because it may not be a hundred percent this way or a hundred percent that way. It may be a little bit of each, right? And it's a process of learning. And now, now is the perfect time to talk about goals because people don't realize this,
00:06:01	but studies have shown that goal setting and planning for the new year doesn't start in January. It starts before the year starts. So that's why, you know, you're coming on at the end of the year and to get prepared for the new year. So tell us about your process, maybe what works for you now and what you tried before that didn't work for you.
00:06:24	Yes, absolutely. And I would absolutely agree that one of the things I learned was that goal setting definitely starts at the end of the previous year. For me, what I've learned is that when I first started doing goals, they were very broad, stroke, lose weight, spend more time with the kids, you know, eat healthy and, and then I would write those things down,
00:06:49	I would put it in a drawer and then I would forget about them, come across them six months later and then wonder why none of those things got done. And then I would beat myself up because I suddenly was a terrible mom and all of those things. And what I've come to understand is that they're, they're very lofty. I was basically setting myself up to fail.
00:07:11	And so when I would have a very big goal, like let's say lose weight, well then I would go and do some research. How much weight do I wanna lose? How much is a healthy amount of weight to lose? What am I willing to do to get there? Am I going to start walking? Whatever it is. And so what I learned was that you started with very small things like just,
00:07:36	you know, cut out soda, just just replace that with water and just do that and get comfortable with that. Maybe you have fruit in the morning, you know, and so it's just these micro changes that I would do to build up and let's say I was just going to lose one pound a week that most you could lose, I think two depending on how much looking to lose.
00:07:59	But I think one is a very nice, easy, no pressure, sustainable thing to do. And so just using that as an example that, that is how I started. And then it evolved into goals that I would break up into categories and I would have my own personal me goals because I think mothers especially are notorious to forget our needs and do everything for the family,
00:08:25	the house, the kids. And we forget that we are women, we were women before, we are women still as a parent and not forgetting that. And so when I'd set my goals, I would make sure to put my first one as my me time goals, my personal goals. I'd have family goals, I'd have financial goals, and I would just make maybe three to five goals each in those categories.
00:08:49	And then I would look at that every day. And what the cool thing about doing it that way for me is I noticed that maybe three months out when I would review and see what had check marks, I could see where I was focusing my energy and notoriously just like other moms, my me time stuff wouldn't have a check mark in it. And so I would basically readjust and start to shift my focus to,
00:09:16	to start looking at that because happy mom is a very, very important thing in a family. Yes, absolutely. And trust me, I've made all the mistakes there and put myself glasses well and I still struggle with it of course. But yeah, I've had to kind of make myself a priority and I'm a much better mom when I do that. Yes.
00:09:38	So I love that you said that. So I'm curious, you mentioned check marks. What are the check marks? So as I review my goals and I decide what am I going to do today that's going to drive one of these goals a little bit closer to completion? And I would basically do, I would set myself up so that every day I'd have at least three things I would get done.
00:10:01	And then as I get those three things done, and it could be something that's five minutes long, it could be something that is an hour long, but whatever it is, I'd make sure there's three things that I'm going to accomplish today and that I would check those three things off for the day and get myself set up at the end of the day for what the next three things are the next day.
00:10:20	It does require some discipline to do that, but all of these things are basically lined up to what my goals are. And as you learn, you know, like for me, you set your goals, you know, October, November, December time, January rolls around, maybe by February, March you learn a little bit more and maybe some of those goals are going to shift.
00:10:41	And so you adjust your goals with the new information that comes in. But you're always going towards something, you see where you are today, you have an idea of where you want to be and each day is a step to go toward these goals. And it could be one big goal, it's broken up into smaller things because that, you know, it's like how do you eat an elephant?
00:11:03	Do you eat it with one bite at a time? And so goal setting is very much like that and knowing how to do just those little things, it really kind of helps guide you and you can, it's very empowering to to see that. Yes. Because if you're not looking at the progress you made, you feel like you haven't made any progress,
00:11:23	even though you probably have, I've had this come up a lot lately in my Money success club where women were feeling stuck and like they hadn't made any progress on paying off their debt. And then when they totaled it up, one was 18,000 in 10 months and one was 19,000 in 10 months that they had paid off. And they felt, they didn't know,
00:11:43	they didn't know they had paid off that much because they weren't tracking it. And so tracking it. So I love that you brought that up. So how often do you check in with your goals and kinda evaluate if you're on, if you need to shift them or if you're making progress and that kind of thing? How often? So I actually look at my goals every morning,
00:12:03	I review them and so that it kind of, it sets the intention for the day, the week, and the month. So that is how I, one of the ways that I find is my, one of my secret, secret ingredients for success is making sure they are someplace where they're front and center. I used to do a thing where I would have my little post-it notes and I would have those on the mirror and I would just stick them there.
00:12:25	So then I'd brush my teeth, wash my face, you know, I could read those and think about what am I going to do today to take a step toward that. And it's really amazing how these little steps, you know, like to, to your clients 18 and $19,000. I mean, it's just amazing how little decisions in each day can add up to really big payoffs down the road.
00:12:49	Yes. And I will say that it sounds like you have really built the habits and routines. I know you said discipline, but the, just the word discipline, you know, gets people all stressed out and I can't be disciplined. That feels too restricting. So we call it habits and routines, same idea, but like you said, you, you set your intentions for the next day at night and you're reviewing them while you're brushing your teeth.
00:13:17	Those are routines. So you don't have to have discipline that helps build consistency. And so it just becomes muscle memory. Like you don't even have to think about it, you just do it. And so, you know, those of us as you know myself included, that don't identify themselves as being like disciplined if you don't have to be. It's just building those habits of and combining it.
00:13:43	So I love that you mentioned that. And so how often, so we talked about, you know, kind of micro goals and how often you can you check in with them every day. Now, how often do you like, evaluate and redo your goals because maybe after a couple months you realize what you actually wanted has changed or maybe the short term goals to get there have changed,
00:14:09	the timeline has changed, something's come up. So kind of how, when do you kind of sit down and really review the goals and if you need to change them? Yeah, and so it's funny because I, you know, a lot of, most of us think about January as the start of the year. And so it's a natural start to goal setting.
00:14:30	I think for me it's kind of a rolling situation where I evaluate every month and then I adjust and maybe I'll add things when remove something else that, you know, maybe isn't as important as I thought it was a month ago. And so it's like a monthly ever evolution of, of taking a look at what I have and adjusting it accordingly to as new information comes in.
00:14:56	And then I use the end of the year as kind of like a cutoff and then I take off all the things that I have accomplished and keep the stuff that didn't get accomplished and then I add to it from there. And so it's kind of a, this way it kind of keeps it nice and clean and easy, but it doesn't have to be the end of the year.
00:15:16	Sometimes it can be a little bit earlier just depending on what's, what's going on. Because no two years are, and especially when you have children and they're growing Yeah, no two years are the same. And so, you know, you just, you just never know where the opportunities are gonna come. And so, you know, keeping that flexibility is,
00:15:33	is really, is huge. Absolutely. And I love now you haven't specifically said it, but if, if you're listening to what she's saying is it doesn't have to be perfect. Like if some things didn't go right, that's okay. You just reevaluate and reset your goals, right? Yeah, absolutely. Flexibility is everything and it, you know, and that I used to be,
00:15:56	I'm a recovering perfectionist. Yeah. And absolutely. So I, I'm a much happier person to get to the point of it's good enough. Yes. And, and then I can move forward from there. And good enough is perfect for a lot of people, you know, it's just, it's really just how I see it in my own mind. So getting to that point I think is has been huge.
00:16:20	Has been huge. Yes. That's a big mindset shift that really helps you because as our fellow perfectionists, we feel like, oh, if we didn't do everything on our list, then it, it was a fail. But if you did three of the five things, like that's a win, right? Yeah. And I love that you talked about like your top three because you know,
00:16:43	us moms, we love to have a mile long to-do list and then we don't do it. We feel like we failed, but you don't mean to do it. All right. Just top three. Your top three. I love that. Yeah. And I'll tell you just to share this with, with your moms out there especially is when I went through my divorce,
00:17:01	my kids were really young, they were preschool and elementary school, and I, I lost my job and for those first five years I was unemployed for almost two years. I, I was on unemployment on and off three times. Now that my kids are older, when we look back on that time, we've had a lot of talks about it. And I'm gonna tell you their favorite time with me was when I was unemployed.
00:17:24	Because it wasn't the stuff, the trips, they didn't, it really wasn't those things. But the time that you spend with them, you know, we would just go to the bookstore, we would go to the park, we would, you know, get a pizza and go to the park and hang out. And those were the things that they appreciated the most.
00:17:44	You know, having that, that time together, we would, you know, play around in the kitchen and try different recipes and I'd have them, you know, taste things and have those conversations what they like, what they didn't like, and those are the things that they remember. So, you know, it's, it's the little things. It really is the little things and just,
00:18:03	just letting go, you know, just letting go this the time with them is, is so precious when they're little. Yes, absolutely. And I love that you brought that up because you know it's coming up on Christmas time and we feel all this pressure to buy them all these things, but you're right. Like they really, like, even for us as adults,
00:18:26	if you think back on your childhood, you may remember a few presents that you just like loved and wanted to get and you got it, you know, type of thing. But you remember the experiences more and how much absolutely. Your parents put with you more than things you got like, I don't remember everything I got every single Christmas of my life.
00:18:46	I couldn't even tell you what I got last Year. Right, absolutely. You just have to remind yourself of that because we struggle with mom guilt over here as well. So I'm glad that you brought that up. So I forgot what I was gonna ask you next. What were we talking about And Oh, just about, you know, spending time with the kids and not having to worry about getting the right presence,
00:19:12	the right this, the right that, that it's just the little things and just to remember that, that, you know, like even if you have some lofty and you don't make it, it, it's, it's fine. I mean these are all learning experiences and things that you can put into that the next, your next project or your next time with your spending time with the kids or,
00:19:31	you know, I mean it's, you know, goal setting is a wonderful tool and I, what I love about it is that, you know, on those times when us, you know, like us moms, you know, beat ourselves up. Well what are we doing with our time? The whole week went by and what did I get done?
00:19:45	But when you can look back and say, oh we'll look at that, you know, I, I talked to my son's teacher and I had had, you know, mother daughter time with my daughter and we went to dinner, just the two of us. And I mean, those are the things, you know, that, that are so important and,
00:20:03	and make us the good parents, you know, it's the, the gifts and stuff are are great. It, you know, but it's the time, the time that is, is wonderful. And, and factoring that in when we do our goal setting, you know, for, for family goals is, is a great way to, to, to move in in that direction and be whole as a family and just relax.
00:20:27	Just relax. That's really hard as mother. Very, very hard. Yes. Is, so you mentioned in the beginning, and I just wanna kinda dive a little bit deeper in this before we wrap up. So you talked about in the beginning some of the mistakes she made was like having just two general generic goals and then, then just putting 'em away and forgetting about 'em.
00:20:48	That's what most of us do, right? So you kind of talked about it, but I don't think we actually identified it. Let's talk about smart goals, cuz that's basically what you did. You went from just kind of general, not really achievable, you know, not specific enough goals. So let's, could you kind of just let people know what are smart goals?
00:21:11	Cuz that's really what we've talked about, but we haven't talked about what that is. Yes. So smart goals are is, is an acronym for specific measurable, attainable, relevant and time, time constrained or time bound. And that, that was huge. But I think the step before that for me was understanding what, what was important, what were my priorities?
00:21:37	Where, where did I really wanna focus? What, what, what did I value? And once I had a kind of a general idea of that, the smart goals really helped to kind of evolve that and massage that into concrete steps that I could take. And every time I would, you know, especially in the beginning when I started doing the goals the correct way,
00:21:59	I would write it and then I would say, is this specific enough? Is this something that's measurable? And in the beginning a lot of it was trial and error of, you know, just taking it apart and adding things into it to really drive it home. And then I would look at it and go, is this really attainable? Is this something that I can really do?
00:22:19	Am I putting too much pressure on myself? And in the beginning it was kind of funny because I, I don't think I really knew what I was capable of. And so I kept the goals very simple in the beginning and I was just like, you know what, I'm just gonna do these, these three goals, let's just see where this goes.
00:22:38	And what I learned was I got them done really quickly the first part of the year. And so I had to scramble a little bit, I guess, and figure out three more goals. And so I ended up doing that a few times the first year. And, and that in and of itself was a learning experience, you know, of what you can do,
00:22:57	what you're capable of, what do you value, and where do you wanna put your time. And, and there's a lot of self-discovery, especially if you've not done smart goals that first year, which is really, really important. And that's where the evolution comes in. And I think what's really fun though is after you've done it for a while, when you look back on your first year versus year two,
00:23:16	three, and four, and just kind of looking at the evolution of who you are as a person is, it's really kind of a cool thing to see, you know, pat, pat on the back, you know, you have your little kisses on your face and just to see, you know, how, how amazing you know you are and,
00:23:32	and appreciating that. Oh my gosh, I love it. I'm so glad you came on to talk because you're so relatable. So tell us, well one, is there anything, anything you want people to know that we haven't talked about? And then where can people connect with you? Yes, so I would say the one thing is, is to appreciate what you bring to the table and use that as your starting point.
00:23:59	And so just, just going with there and just to go easy the first year and just, just try a few things, no pressure just to see what kind of resonates, what doesn't. And if you're looking to find out more about me, I have a website called grab your slice.com that you can come and see more about who I am. I have a book that just came out this year and it's a little bit about my journey as a single parent and,
00:24:28	and yeah. And so that's actually getting rebranded so it'll be ready to go come January. That's great. Thank you so much for being here. Sorry, my little one just came in, so Love, It's, I want some water. I'm not getting up for him right this second. That's fine. Well, I appreciate you taking the time to share your journey of goal setting.
00:24:52	It's very relatable and I know my audience will be able to relate especially to where you started and they can see where you are now and that it is a process. You don't have to be perfect and, you know, give yourself some patience and grace and, oh, there was, I remembered the question I couldn't remember earlier, do you do anything because as moms,
00:25:16	I, I know I struggle with this, but when you hit like a milestone, it doesn't have to be like the end goal, but do you do anything to celebrate yourself and your Oh my goodness. So yes, I'm a, I'm a bit of a food person and so I, I give myself, I'm a dark chocolate. Like I, I think I have a problem because,
00:25:41	so, but every time I, I hit a small goal, I give myself one little, one little piece of a very nice, beautiful dark chocolate. And so those are those little things that I do and it's like, you know, it tastes so good, but then when I know that I did something that made it to, you know, that,
00:26:01	that I got to get it, you know, like that kind of thing, it just tastes even better, you know? And so I give myself little, little things and then there's, there's other goals down the road, like bigger ones, like maybe a girlfriend's trip where if I got these other things in me and a girlfriend would take a trip to,
00:26:21	you know, like a weekend and we'd meet up some place, you know, that we haven't been to. But yeah, there's definitely, I, I love the little, little treats at the end. I would, I remember reading an article about this one international model who she was pregnant with her second and she was going to, when she had the baby,
00:26:40	she only had like three months or four months before she had to go back to work and she had to be in swimsuit condition. Oh. And this article was, I know right? Talk about pressure. And so in the article it talked about her every day, just little baby steps that she would do. And she would have for six days of the week was very strict with her,
00:26:59	you know, your water eating right, exercising, spending time with the kids, and she had every day for six days, but if she could manage all six days and do that on the seventh day, she could eat whatever she wanted. Beer, ribs, chips, I mean, you name it when that one day, and that was her way of saying,
00:27:17	I made it six days. I did, you know, I did all the right things, I hit all my goals. This is my one day where I can just just eat what I want. And that actually just makes, you know, just using diet as an example, that makes it all kind of worth it at the end because you, you know,
00:27:33	you can eat it without feeling guilty. Yes. And it doesn't have to be super expensive. It doesn't, that's not, It Doesn't stop at just one. So I praise you for that. Thanks. The bag, but Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I, yeah, yeah. But you know, I mean like, that's another really good example of,
00:27:54	you know, just giving yourself that time and then when you get to have it, there's no guilt attached to it because you just, you're just so proud that you, you know, you did those little baby steps. So yeah, it's, yeah, those rewards are a wonderful way to kinda, you know, just a little extra. Oh, I love that.
00:28:14	So I appreciate you coming on and sharing your journey with us. It was so valuable and helpful. So go follow Monica, get her book and all the things, and thank you for being here. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much and happy to be here. Thanks. All right. I want you to let me know, are you going to change the way you plan your goals for next year?
00:28:44	Because you do have to have a specific, measurable, timely, and realistic goal that you can actually achieve. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for failure. And what good is that besides just beating yourself up about one more thing. So, you know, break it down, make it measurable, be very specific about what your goal is, and then don't just put it in a drawer that you're never gonna look at it until the next January,
00:29:16	right? So let's get started now. If you loved this episode, I would love it, love it, love it. If you left a five star review and left me a little note about what your favorite episode was, I would appreciate it so, so much now, I hope you guys have a great couple of weeks with the holiday season approaching and get planning for the new year.
00:29:44	Right guys, have a great week.