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[00:00:00] Ashley: Welcome to the Money Mindset Podcast, where you will find the inspiration and motivation you need to manage your money better so you can stress less and live the life you want. It's Ashley with Budgets Made Easy and the Money Mindset Podcast. In today's episode, I'm going to be speaking with Amy Schultz, who is the co-founder and head coach at Bolder Money. A company on a mission to close the gender wealth gap through compassionate money coaching for women. Amy transformed her personal challenges with money work and motherhood in a community that helps women use their money to build the lives they want. And in today's episode, we really talk about, um, the key things you need to focus on as a busy mom in your finances, even if you don't currently manage the finances, right. And the things for you to really, uh, focus on so that you can be independent, build your confidence for, you know, the long term so that you can really do what you want with your life, because that's the ultimate goal of managing our finances, right. It's to be able to just do what we want in life. And if you are ready to get started, I do have a Free Budgeting Workshop, go to budgetsmadeeasy.com/workshop and I'll link to it in the show notes as well. Um, so that you can just get started on creating a realistic budget that you can actually stick to.

[00:01:39] So without further ado, let's dive into Amy's episode. 

[00:01:46] Hi Amy. Thank you so much for being with us today. 

[00:01:49] Amy: Thanks for having me. I'm super excited. 

[00:01:52] Ashley: And today we're going to talk about advocating for your financial health, work and money. As a mom. I know so much of my audience are busy moms, which I am too. And it's been a little crazy with the end of the school year. Summer starting and just, you know, we're trying to handle all the things that mean. And let's be honest since 2020, it's gotten even harder for us, especially if we are managing the family's finances. So before we dive into the nitty-gritty details about why this is important and what we need to know, can you just give us a little bit of background about yourself and your mission with your company and, um, as a financial coach, 

[00:02:37] Amy: Yeah. So thanks for having me. I love that. Um, we're talking to the busy moms out there because that the topic of money and there's so much pressure out there and that I've lived too, and which is why I'm doing what I do. So I am co-founder and head coach at Bolder money. We are a company on a mission to close the gender wealth gap, and we do that through compassionate money coaching for women.

[00:03:00] When I started out my career, I was an actuary, so I was doing financial risk managers. Um, I was the breadwinner of my family. I was making six figures and when my first son was born, about five and a half years ago, I had no money. I had nothing except for my 401k. I had about $30,000 in credit card debt. And we had essentially just been living paycheck to paycheck and I had a, pretty traumatic childbirth with him, um, and decided that I really needed a year or so to recover. But we could not afford it. We weren't able to, I wasn't able to take time off work. Um, so I went back to work for a year and every day I just felt like, you know, I, I am not well enough.

[00:03:46] Like I should be at home. I should be able to take care of myself. How did I get into this situation? Where I'm making all this money and I'm not even able to make the choices that I want with my life and for my health and for my children. And so I started looking into this issue around women and money, and just fell into this heaps of research around this confidence gap with women.

[00:04:09] But it's not always about financial literacy. It's about financial confidence. And that was very much my story. Right. I had the strong financial background, but I just wasn't able to do the things that I knew I should be doing with my money. And so what I did at that time was I emptied my 401k. I stayed home with my son and while he slept, um, and took naps or at night, I, I built my bit, my first business.

[00:04:34] And that was just doing, uh, private money coaching with women around this idea of what do you want your life to look like? Let's take your money and use it to get there, right? Because we're, we don't always realize the choices that are available to us. And we're not set up to know what we should be doing with our money to get there.

[00:04:50] So at that point I had met, um, I've been coaching for a couple of years and then I met my co-founder. Who, um, came from the tech world, the startup world. And he had said, you know, this is amazing work that you're doing, but we need to be able to reach as many women as possible. And so that's where we built Bolder Money.

[00:05:08] So now what we do is text-based money coaching. It's very affordable if taking the key components of coaching and making it so that we can be accessible to as many women as possible, regardless of how much they're earning, regardless of how much they feel, they have to. Put towards, um, investing in their financial health. And the best part of it is that we are talking the, the emotional side of money that needs to be talked about so much more, especially when it comes to women, especially when it comes to moms and money, because we are at a disadvantage because of the way our world talks about money and handles money. 

[00:05:43] Ashley: Yes, absolutely. And I love that you brought up the emotional side because I really try to hone in on this aspect because as moms, you know, we know what we should be doing, but then we beat ourselves up and we have all this shame and guilt when we don't do it. And that's because we make our decisions based on emotion. We're not robots, we're human beings and our emotions. The feeling and all the things that we think about money and ourselves and our family, and, you know, all those things that as busy moms, we have to think about. We have the weight of the world, of our family on our shoulders. Right. And that all plays into our decisions around money. So, you know, and I was in the same boat as you, like, we made good money. And then at the end of the year, when we do our taxes was like, where did it all go? 

[00:06:33] So, you know, what can, uh, the busy moms listening, where can they start because they're probably feeling that same feeling and the shame and the guilt. It's like, I'd make this, you know, I make decent money. There's no reason I should be broke, but I'm so dang broke every single month. Like how does this happen? 

[00:06:54] Amy: Right. Yeah. It's so common. And, uh, we just saw like 60% of American families are living paycheck to paycheck and that doesn't necessarily mean that they can't afford to pay their bills. It just means like they don't have money leftover. Um, by the time they get to the next paycheck and that's regardless of income status, a lot of times, which is fascinating, but it makes sense sense, when you start start diving into the way that we work with money, emotional. So a lot of times, um, women, and I'll say busy moms, especially, we feel like we're taking on the world and we shouldn't have to be told no to anything.

[00:07:28] We shouldn't have to feel restricted about what we're spending. A lot of times we're just spending on things to try to make our lives a little bit easier or just like get to all the things that we have to do. And so it's the number one thing that I start having my clients do is look at where their money is going.

[00:07:44] Um, a lot of times we're just not tracking our spending. And again, it doesn't have to be something that you do forever. You don't have to always like be in a spreadsheet, looking at where your numbers are going, but it's so important to just pay attention to, oh yeah. I did order out every meal last week because I was really tired and I didn't have time to meal plan or I didn't have support around that. Or, you know, I was online shopping. Three times last week because I'm super burnt out. So when we can start tying our emotions to our spending and really being paying attention to why this is happening, that's where we start learning more about our impulses. That's where we can start building better habits. And it's not about being restrictive. It's not about saying like, oh, you can't get a pedicure because you know, you need to put that money into your kid's college fund. Like that's not what it's about at all. You're allowed to spend your money on whatever you. But when you start paying attention a little bit more, you start being a little more mindful about where that money is going.

[00:08:42] We see women finding hundreds of dollars every month just by being able to take those steps. And they're like, no, I am still enjoying my life. I'm just not like bleeding money everywhere. Now I'm paying attention to where it's going. So that's absolutely number one is just start paying attention to where your money is going.

[00:08:59] Ashley: Yes, absolutely. Now what if their spouse or significant other, um, maybe they aren't involved either or, uh, you know, they make, uh, the mom the plan, but the dad doesn't follow it. You know, I get that all the time. I'm sure you do too. So do you have any advice for, um, kind of that situation with getting the other person on board or to follow the plan or just kind of manage things when you don't have full a hundred percent control over the situation?

[00:09:36] Amy: Yeah, that's a great question. We see that a lot with our couples where the mom is the breadwinner and, um, her partner maybe is a spender or her partner isn't necessarily like doesn't want to be told no to things. And so what happens in that situation is you have to look at how the conversations are going around money. Are you making your partner feel restricted? Are you making your part? Are you triggering something in your partner so that they feel like they have no control. And so at that point, it's important to take a step back and talk about what are our goals as a couple, what are the things that we want to achieve together and how do we get there instead of like placing blame? Right? A lot of times somebody. Not paying attention to the plan or not sticking to the plan, just because they feel like they're the bad guy all the time, right? Like they're the one that's making all the mistakes. And so that's where, like you might have more arguments about money. You might have more heated discussions because those emotions are coming into it.

[00:10:33] Um, so it's important to have conversations and notice how you're talking to each other about money. On the other hand, it's important to think about where did you both come from with money? Right? One of the first things we do is the money story exercise. And so if it's a couple, we're saying you both need to understand how the other person was raised around money. Maybe they always saw their, one of their parents struggling to get by. Maybe they always saw one of their parents managing money and the other one just always overspending it. And so they've subconsciously recreated those patterns. And just by having those conversations around, like, Hey, I see you, I understand how you feel about money and how you think about money. But this is how we want to start thinking about money for our families so that we can achieve our goals, that we can go on our trips, we'll save for retirement and, you know, send the kids to the schools that we want. It's important to just take that step back and do it from a goal based instead of like, Hey, you're doing something wrong.

[00:11:29] Ashley: Yes, and this can be such a struggle. My husband and I, you know, we do pretty well with, you know, communicating better finances and stuff, but we come from very different backgrounds and how we view money. And so we both had to kind of compromise with each other around certain things, just because we just have different mindset around money and, you know, coming together to work together toward a common goal and dreaming together about that big goal has been really, really helpful for us. Um, so what would you say to the woman who maybe isn't as involved as you know, maybe she wants to be or needs to be with the finances, you know? Cause I speak to, um, you know, a few women, most of those women aren't coming to me for advice anyway. But you know, I do speak to people that, you know, my husband handles that, uh, I, you know, I don't worry about the money, you know, cause that's just not my thing. What do you say to those women? Like, should they still be advocating for their own financial wellbeing if somebody else is taking care of it.

[00:12:39] Amy: Yeah, that's a great question. And it's interesting that you say they're not coming to you because you're probably you're right. They're, they're not, but they are listening because they're, they're just like working up the courage to say like, you know, I don't feel like I belong in this world with money so that those are the quiet ones, right. Where we do have to address them because it's so important for them to get, to start taking an active role in those conversations, even if they're not managing the money. So they need to find out exactly where everything lives. What bank accounts do you have, get the login information, see where you stand, see what your money is being used for. And we have to think about it from anything could happen, right? Anything could happen. So you need to be prepared. But also you need to feel empowered around, I can handle this. I can be good with money. I can take charge of this. And remember that a healthy relationship is not going to be harmed by you taking an active role in your family's finances.

[00:13:39] So if you find that you wanting to take a role in it, if it's causing issues in your marriage, it could mean that either you're triggering your spouse in a way that like you're talking to them about money. Or that something more is going on and either way you may need a third party to help. And that's okay. That happens, right. We're not taught to how to talk to our partners about money at all. Um, there are a couple of other ways that if you are not someone who's, let's say you, you are making money. Um, or I'm sorry, let's say you are not making money. So I don't know if you have stay-at-home moms who, um, are active listeners, but again, you know, they, they could be listening to. Find a way to have your own bank account, even your own retirement savings. And if you are able your own earnings, even just a little bit. Um, and so if you, if you do those things, you're going to start noticing a change in you and the way that you think about money and in a way that you think about decisions for your family, that you will start feeling like you do have a more active.

[00:14:40] Ashley: Yes. And communication is key. Like we're not taught how to communicate about anything with our spouses. I mean, come on. 

[00:14:47] Amy: We're really not. 

[00:14:48] Ashley: Oh, we just love each other. Everything's going to be perfect forever. But yeah, I mean, not even just about finances, which of course finances is a major factor in divorce, but you know, just communicating in general, you know, you're exactly right. Getting like a third party, a mediator or a counselor or a coach. Whatever the case may be to just kinda guide the conversation will be incredibly helpful. Now for the woman that is wanting to take a more active role in their finances in either situation, whether they control it or not. But they're just, they're wanting to be more mindful and intentional with where their finances are, where they're going, all those things so that they can get to where they want. What are some of the key factors, uh, for them to kind of focus on in the beginning, because it can be really overwhelming if you're trying to do all the things. So I know you already talked about tracking spending, but maybe what are some, some of the other key touch points that maybe they should focus on?

[00:15:51] Amy: Yeah. Great question. So one of the things that we don't see enough of, um, especially with, with the members who come to us is having emergency savings. Having, um, we think about that in two ways. So the first is having a rainy day fund, which is really set aside for like, uh, you know, a $500 emergency or less, right? So many Americans can not afford a $500 emergency. It would, they would either have to use a credit card or they would have to like miss paying a bill for it. And what happens is that we are, we tend to get into these debt cycles because we're either, we're putting everything on a credit card and we're paying it off every month, but we're not putting money into savings. And so what happens is we just kind of keep staying in this cycle where we're used to throwing all of our money, either at debt or at our expenses. We're not used to holding on to money. So we have to get used to holding onto our money. And the best way to do that is to start with a really simple, basic savings account. That's linked to your checking and we'll call that the rainy day fund. Your goal should be one to $2,000 in there, and that's really going to make a difference in terms of not only the amount of financial stress you feel when you do get hit by an unexpected charge or an unexpected expense, but also in the way that you get used to holding onto your money.

[00:17:09] So the rainy day fund is like the number one thing we start working on with women. We also recommend another fund called the emergency fund. This is for long-term savings. And this is something where if you are, um, in the world, And you've ever thought about making a change in your career, which I think so many people do now. It's so much more common to take different leaps and move around. The emergency fund is the number one thing that keeps women from making the choices that they really want in their careers. Especially busy moms who feel like they have so much responsibility to take on. So when you have three to six months of earnings set aside in a high yield savings account, It helps you make decisions from a place of what can I do next? What am I able to do next that's best for me, instead of, from the point of like, is this financially feasible? And these are accounts that you can start out building slowly, right? And, and watch that money go into. Get used to the feeling of I'm going to set money aside instead of just spending any extra income that I have. And again, watch how you start shifting into feeling more ownership over not only where your money is being spent every paycheck, but also in the decisions that you're able to make in your life because you have those savings. 

[00:18:26] Ashley: Yes. And would you recommend that they save first or pay off debt first? Cause I get that question all the time.

[00:18:34] Amy: This is a, it's a tricky one. Um, my answer is that usually like, it depends. And of course everybody loves that. Um, so any time that there is high interest debt that that's like over 10% on a credit card or something, you do want to prioritize that. But I have to caveat that with what we see happen over and over again, is that if all of your money, every paycheck is going to paying off debt and you're not building up savings. You're more likely to just stay in that debt cycle. Some people can take, you know, six months and throw everything they have at their debt and it's gone and then they're fine. It never happens again. Most people, that's not the case, they're in a debt cycle, they're in an overspending credit cards cycle.

[00:19:15] And so what they need to do is work on the habits that are going to help them get to the root of that problem, which includes stopping the overspending and holding on to their money, building up savings while they're paying off that. In the long run, um, holding on to high interest debt a little bit longer while you build up savings and work on your money habits and feel more secure about what you're doing financially, it's going to pay off right. Being able to do those things at once. So yes, high interest debt should always be a priority, but you do have to balance it with building the healthy habits and saving money so that you're not ending up back in the same situation that you were in the first place, you know, a few months after. 

[00:19:56] Ashley: Yes. Now you've given us such great advice and information today. Is there anything else that you want people to know or, you know, the biggest takeaway from this episode, your last words of wisdom, whatever you want to call it. Is there any, um, anything else you want to throw in here? 

[00:20:16] Amy: Yeah, I think for the number one thing I always say to busy moms, um, around managing money is that it it's so much more personal than we think. And one of the best ways to start advocating for yourself and to start taking care of yourself is to make sure you have a really good support system. And that could mean outside the home. That could mean with your friends, with your family, look at who is around you and are they really like on your team, right? Are they supporting you in the life that you want to have in the career that you want to have? Um, are they being positive about your ideas and the choices that you want to make? And if not, then, you know, have them in your life, maybe set some boundaries with them and find the people who are going to support you because that I can not stress enough what a difference that has made in my life and what I know that, and I know the difference that can make.

[00:21:07] And if all moms just imagine, like, if we all had amazing communities of support, how much different the world was. 

[00:21:14] Ashley: Oh, my gosh. It would be wonderful. Yes. So awesome. Um, now I always like to get everybody's favorite nonfiction book suggestion, because I am a book junkie now. I don't always finish them all. Let's be real, but I do start a lot of books. I have a huge pile on my nightstand right here, but, um, you know, I think reading so incredibly important for just personal growth, which ties into our finances as well. So it is not to be finance related, but do you have a favorite nonfiction book you'd like to share?

[00:21:49] Amy: Yes. And I'm so glad you said it doesn't have to be finance related because I feel like people always want money book recommend recommendations for me, but one of the most important things women can learn about money is to value themselves higher. And by understanding what we contribute and what we're capable of. Um, like we have to feel confident carving out the path that we deserve. So the books I always recommend are women who run with the wolves and untamed. Um, these books are, again, they're deep. They're about really thinking about what, uh, what have I been tolerating in my life and how can I be my best advocate to the life that I want to live. And I think that's the number one lesson. Again, we just, we need to learn as women, especially as moms, because we're so used to taking care of everyone. 

[00:22:33] Ashley: Yes, I am so glad that you mentioned those books and not find, I don't even read that many finance related books to be honest with you. 

[00:22:41] Amy: Yeah. I'm always like, don't tell anybody, but like, I don't really. 

[00:22:45] Ashley: I really, yeah. I mean, I just love just personal development in general. And so, yeah, I don't read that many finance books. And so I love that you gave some other suggestions. Now, for those of you, those listening that want to follow up with you, where can they find you or learn more about you? 

[00:23:04] Amy: Yeah. So I'm on Instagram at Amy shelter, money coach. Um, I post a lot of content there. We are also, um, Bolder dot money on Instagram. And then if you want to work with us, um, join our money coaching program. You can go to www.boldermoney.com and sign up there. You can take a quiz to find out how much better off you could be with just a few small changes and get started that way.

[00:23:33] Ashley: Awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and your experiences with us so that we can, you know, handle our finances better and just, you know, be able to do what we want in life. That's like the ultimate goal. Right? 

[00:23:47] Amy: Right. Like if we're not doing that with our money, what are we doing?

[00:23:50] Ashley: Exactly. So thank you so much for taking the time with us. 

[00:23:55] Amy: Thank you for having me. 

[00:23:57] Ashley: Thank you so much to Amy for being with us today and sharing her great tips and advice for us, busy moms to gain confidence and really manage our finances in a way that we can live the life we want. Now remember, if you would like to get started with a budget that is realistic. That you can actually stick to, I do have the Free Budgeting Workshops still available. Go to budgetsmadeeasy.com/workshop. And I will talk to you guys next week.