Podcast Intro: As much as people depend on us as leaders, you need someone who believes in you. You need a place to be open and honest with someone who's walked in your shoes, and wants to help you become the leader you are meant to be. This is that place, with those kind of people. Welcome to the Relational Leader Podcast, with your host, Randy Bezet. Each episode we'll sit down and engage in life-giving conversation, unpacking leadership's greatest challenges. And now, your host, Randy Bezet. Randy Bezet: I'm glad you've decided to check out the Relational Leader Podcast. Whether you're a lead pastor, or just a volunteer leader, or a staff person in your church, we all go through so many things in ministry. And we have to make so many decisions and deal with so many things that a lot of times, we're unsure of what to do. So, I wanted to have a place where we could sit together and have conversations about real topics, real things that we're dealing with. And could glean, and grow, and get some wisdom from those things. And I think, if we do that, then we can all be better if we're learning through this together. That's the heart of this podcast. I pray that you learn something today, that you grow, and you become better in who you are as a person and as a leader. And I pray today that this podcast blesses you. Kristin: We are so glad that you joined us today for this episode of the podcast. I'm so glad to get to sit down with Pastor Randy, as always. And excited about the topic today that we're going to talk about. Yeah? Randy Bezet: This is going to be a great topic today. Kristin: It is a good one. I get to know this topic a little bit firsthand, because I've worked with you and alongside of you for a really long time. And this is something that you do really well, you've taught your staff and your team to do really well. And one that I think a lot of our listeners are going to be really interested in. Randy Bezet: And they're going to be interested because they're going to hear a lot of the things that I didn't do right. You say I do it well now, but it's because you saw me when I didn't do it well, and what I've learned through all of that. Kristin: That also is why we brought an additional person on this podcast who is possibly, I don't know, maybe the smartest man in the room. David Murphy: No. Are you talking about Randy again? Randy Bezet: There's only two of us in the room. [laughing]. David Murphy: Wait a minute. Kristin, remember, he signs the checks. Kristin: I was trying to help you out there. David Murphy: That's very kind of you. Kristin: So we have with us sitting down Pastor David Murphy, who is one of the pastors on staff here at Bayside. David Murphy: That's right. Yeah. Kristin: And also, You've got a lot to share with us today, I'm sure. David Murphy: In this subject, I came in learning. You do it, but when you come into church that this is who we are, I'm standing on the shoulders of those who've gone before me, it's so encouraging. Like, yeah, this is why we're here. It is to reach people for Jesus Christ. So I'm just excited to be around the table and chatting. Kristin: I'm so glad that you are. David, you sound like you're from America. David Murphy: Yes. Randy Bezet: You're not from Louisiana? Kristin: I know. At least not. David Murphy: South Louisiana. I grew up around Randy. Kristin: Tell us about yourself. David Murphy: Actually I was born and I grew up in the Canary Islands in Spain. Kristin: You don't sound like you're from Spain. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: No. Spanish was actually my first language. My parents are from Northern Ireland, so they're Irish. But I grew up on the mission fields. Randy Bezet: So your first language was Spanish and not English. David Murphy: Yes. I am what they would call a true bilingual because both languages ... at home, we spoke in English. Outside of the home, we spoke in Spanish. With my brothers and sisters, to this very day, I speak Spanish to them. But if my mum or my dad walked into the room, we would switch languages. And as we've grown now, because- Kristin: Smartest man in the room. David Murphy: No. Randy Bezet: You were right Kristin, in that. David Murphy: But you do speak another language, don't you do Louisiana. You speak- Randy Bezet: I don't know if that's a real language. I don't even think it's documented. David Murphy: I'm learning words from you all the time, like- Randy Bezet: That's not for this topic. That's a different podcast. Kristin: Bring it back in. David Murphy: Okay. Bring us back in. I grew up in Spain, but I ended up then in Belfast in Northern Ireland. That's where I had college and my first years of paid Christian ministry. Now I've been in the States for the last nine years. Kristin: Okay. So you've been in ministry, not just in the States, you've done active ministry. David Murphy: Oh yeah. Kristin: So you've seen different communities and different responses to Christianity and ministry around the globe. David Murphy: Yeah. In Spain, when you're in a mission situation in Spain, when people see you in the Spanish setting that my parents and I grew up in, they saw us, followers of Christ, as a cult. There was a lot of barriers that had to be broken before you even got the opportunity to talk about Jesus. Also then in Ireland it was more, shall we say, Christianized. So it was a different approach. So yes, Western Europe is where I've done most of my ministry. The American experience for me has only been in the last nine, 10 years. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Actually I think that's going to help the topic a lot today because America, I'm not saying America is like Spain, however, there's a lot of post-Christianity in our community. And a lot of people think a lot of cultish things about Christians in church in America, or at least anti-establishment. David Murphy: Or distorted view. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: There's something they saw as a child or on TV that's got a wrong view of the churches. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Kristin: Yeah. I was reading a study that Barna put out talking about Christianity in America. They said that 65% of Americans, they call themselves Christian, but 36% of them go to church. So you've got this massive- David Murphy: That's huge difference. Kristin: ... difference. Randy Bezet: Yeah. But I bet the disparity of this, Kristin, is huge because we now know actually from Barna as well, that the people that go to Church ... 36% of Americans go to church regularly. We know that they say they go to church, but they go on average only once a month. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: So you think that 36% is those who go once a month or twice a month? Kristin: Or even maybe less than that. Randy Bezet: I think when they surveyed them and they said, "Hey, how often do you go to church?" They're, "I'm a church goer. I go once a month." That's the average Christian. That's when they go. David Murphy: So that number could be even way less. Randy Bezet: No. I think 36% go, but a huge portion of that, they only go once a month. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: So there's a whole lot of barriers. David Murphy: Why would you think there's such a big difference? Why would they call themselves something? Maybe this is not the topic here, but why would they call themselves Christians and then not attend a place of worship? Do you think they've become de-churched? Do you think they've become sick of the church? Maybe I'm asking a question that you can't answer because you're from Louisiana. Randy Bezet: I couldn't answer that because I'm from Louisiana? David Murphy: I don't know, because you looked at me in a way, I'm like, "Oh, is this-" Randy Bezet: Well, that is a rabbit hole that we should go down a long way. But honestly, I feel that a lot of people don't go to church because for whatever reason churches become irrelevant in America. And I think there's probably two reasons. This is totally Randy-ism, but this is what I think. I think one is the church hasn't been relevant. It doesn't speak to their life, meaning issues that they're going through. Or when they go there it just seems so disconnected from real life. The presentation, the feel and how things are done there, it's so disconnected from life. So why go? David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: The other thing is, I honestly believe, okay, if you were to run into somebody in the street somewhere in, just somewhere in America in general, that was anti church and Christian, and you told them you were a Christian or a pastor, they'd go, "Oh, I don't believe in that. I'm not doing that." And if you really dug into it, you probably would find they had a bad experience with someone who said they were a Christian. David Murphy: That's right. Randy Bezet: That's why they're like, "Why am I going to go there?" Because that's who's there. Right? David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: I think it's probably one of those two things. David Murphy: Yeah, that's good. Kristin: The reality is, there's probably a bazillion reasons, right? David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Some of the ones that you highlighted, there's probably more. What we do know is that it's only 36% of Americans that go to church regularly. That could be once a month, that could be once every two months. It's not a lot of people. David Murphy: Right. Kristin: And what the topic that we're going to dive into today has to do with this idea, because God has not called us just to pastor the church, but really to pastor the community where we live. It's about people and clearly not all of people are in the church. So it's this whole idea of not getting boxed into ... as pastors, as ministry leaders and people who are in ministry in America, maybe even in other parts of the world, sometimes we get boxed into all the stuff that we're doing for our church, and we forget that the majority of people that we're called to pastor don't even come to our church. Randy Bezet: That's true. David Murphy: That's true. Kristin: So how do we do this? How do we do a better job of pastoring our community? What does that even mean to you, Randy? Randy Bezet: Well, I can tell you, for me, one of the things that really set all of this stuff in motion was ... a friend of mine was telling me before I was starting this church, literally a month before, and he said, "Randy, when you go start this church, when you go start Bayside, you need to realize most of the people, they're not going to go to church, but they also don't have a pastor. So don't just go and pastor the people that attend your church, go pastor the community." David Murphy: When I came here, that was the first time I heard that statement. Randy Bezet: I said it the weekend you were here? David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: How odd. David Murphy: I don't know that specific weekend, but when I started to attend Bayside and then before I was on staff, I remember you early on mentioning this story, or the way you were saying. Again, Western Europe and all that, I never really heard about pastoring the community, only pastoring the church. You know what I mean? That was the way we grew up. That was the way I was told. Now looking back, I saw my dad and he's very much pastoring the community. But it was never a terminology that we used. So when you said it, something resonated with me, "Ah, that's what it's called." We call it evangelism, we call it outreach, but it's literally caring and pastoring for the areas God has- Randy Bezet: Isn't that what a pastor is, he's a shepherd? David Murphy: Exactly. Randy Bezet: So if most people in the communities in America ... which is true that they don't. They don't have a pastor, they don't have a shepherd, they don't have someone looking out for their soul or encouraging them in any way they can. Why wouldn't you walk around? So basically I did, I started saying, "I'm going to walk around this community. This is my city. I'm going to pastor these people." David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: But the problem with pastors is we count attendance or we count offerings and we count how many people are in our kids' ministries or small groups or whatever it is that you're counting. And that's all about the people that are there. David Murphy: Inside. Randy Bezet: So you're constantly having to fight against the grain. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Before we started the church, I remember I was meeting a family, a potential family to come to our church. Kristin: I remember the story. It's a good story. Randy Bezet: It is. This is when I was trying to learn all of this idea of pastoring the community. I was meeting with a potential family, telling them the vision of our church, before we even started Bayside. We met at Cracker Barrel. We were eating lunch, and when I was finishing eating with them, I was walking out and inside the front part of the restaurant where the store is. David Murphy: Okay. Randy Bezet: There was a bunch of commotion going on, and I was pushing people away and trying to see what was going on. And there was a lady collapsed on the floor. She was elderly. David Murphy: In Cracker Barrel. Randy Bezet: In Cracker Barrel, in the store. David Murphy: In the store, yeah. Randy Bezet: And the EMS people, everybody was working on her and I was trying to figure out what was going on. I noticed this younger boy next to me, he probably was 20, standing next to me and somehow I just could sense that he knew this person. I heard this ringing in my head, "Pastor the whole community." Normally I would have went, "Oh wow. Interesting to see." And then you just walk off, right? David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Like, "Oh, I'm sorry for that." Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: You grab a popcorn, "What's going on here?" Randy Bezet: Or you might even like, "Oh Lord, I just pray for them." David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Yeah. Randy Bezet: You could do that. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Later on, reality hits and you tell your spouse or your friends and you go, "Oh man, isn't that sad?" David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: But I had a moment to pastor that for just a moment. I struck up a conversation with this boy and I go, "Do you know this person?" He goes, "Yeah, that's my grandmother." He told me a little bit about what was going on. He wasn't super talkative, right? David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: So I remember thinking, pastor the whole community. So I remember all of a sudden I put pastor hat on. I went, "Hi, I'm Randy." Literally like, "Hey, I'm-" David Murphy: Did you actually use the term, "I'm a pastor." Randy Bezet: I said, "Yeah, I pastor a church in town." David Murphy: Oh, you did it then. Randy Bezet: Mind you, I didn't- Kristin: There was no church doors to invite them. David Murphy: Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Randy Bezet: I was like, "Yeah, I Pastor a church in town. No one comes yet, but-" Kristin: Nobody knows about it, there's not a building. Randy Bezet: Right. I said, "Yeah, I pastor in this town, and so listen, can I pray with you?" He agreed, but you could tell it was very awkward. David Murphy: Awkward, or- Randy Bezet: I just put my arm on his shoulder and like, "Let me pray with you." He wasn't necessarily leaning in or whatever, but I took a moment, I prayed with him and I said, "Look, if there's anything I can ever do for you." I pulled out my business card. I was so proud I had a business card. David Murphy: Wow, you were ready. Kristin: Do people still have business cards? Is that like a big- Randy Bezet: When somebody gives you a business card now, what do you do with it? You put it in your phone and you throw it away, or you give it back to him. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: In your pocket and you're like, "Okay." Randy Bezet: This was before, this was back with flip phones. Okay people? Kristin: Nice. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: This was before smart phone days. Okay? David Murphy: Wow. Kristin: Some of our listeners may not know those days. Randy Bezet: Well, we won't even go there. Kristin: Do you want to share how long you've been in ministry? Randy Bezet: I've said earlier in my introduction, it's been 26 years now. Kristin: It's true. David Murphy: A flip phone is something that in the past ... No, go ahead. Randy Bezet: Yeah, you've ... then run. I ain't going to say anything. Okay, so I did. I prayed with this guy, I gave him my card, I said, "If I can ever do anything for you, let me know." All right, I've never heard from that young man again. David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: Nothing. But I had four minutes with him, and I pastored him for four minutes. All right, so I did my job. I left the Cracker Barrel and I'm walking to my car and sitting on the front porch on one of the rockers. There's a younger girl that you can tell she works there, she's got her Cracker Barrel uniform on, and she is distraught. She is crying. And I went, "Pastor the whole community." So I walked over there to where she was. I sat in a rocker right next to her and was rocking. I said, "Tell me what's going on." She goes, "I was the host that was taking her to her seat, and when she collapsed right there," and she goes, "I'm thinking about my grandmother and I haven't been there to see her. I've been busy with college and everything else." So I pulled out my business card, "I pastor a church in town." Kristin: People don't learn anything. They're going to all go get business cards after this. Randy Bezet: Go get your business cards pastors. Kristin: You're in with every conversation. Randy Bezet: You never know when you're going to need one. I handed it to her and I said, "Can I pray with you?" She said yes, and I prayed with her. "If I can ever do anything else for you, let me know." Now, I never heard from her again, which means I'm not really good at this. David Murphy: But you made yourself available to the person at that time with a need. That's what I'm hearing from this. And to get business cards. Kristin: For sure. Randy Bezet: Get business cards because you never know when you might have four minutes to pastor someone. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Listen, I don't know that those people ever came to church, but I decided that I would take ownership of pastoring the community, not just those who come on the weekend. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: And I think if we all do that, then our communities will be a better place. Which I want my church to be a great church, but I want my community to be a great community. And if only 36% of the people actually come to church, there's 64% of the people who do not. David Murphy: There's a lot of people there. That's a great attitude, a great mentality to have because it becomes a lifestyle. It's not a hat that you wear at certain times, at weekends or whatever it is, it's all the time. I have observed you doing this. I've been with you to restaurants when you're very natural in conversation and allowing God to open the opportunity to say, "Well, yeah, we're right down here, Bayside. If you want to come sometime." I've seen you do that. And then doing it where we are, in our area. It's the natural part of being aware that there's people in need all around us. Randy Bezet: But can we get real though? What are the barriers? Right? Kristin: Right. Randy Bezet: I have a to do list, man. I got stuff to do. David Murphy: You got a message to prepare, you've got meetings to go to, reports to write, whatever it is. Kristin: And most people are so busy, they're moving from one place to the other with no margin, no time. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Well, I got a funeral to do, I got a sermon to prepare, I need to have date night, my kids, we have soccer. David Murphy: That's right. Randy Bezet: And you have life just running so fast, and honestly, that's a great story, and I did it good there. But for the most part- David Murphy: Sometimes it's hard. I wonder, is it more being aware, I always realize my son's playing soccer, so I- Randy Bezet: Wouldn't it be called football? David Murphy: Football. Randy Bezet: Okay. David Murphy: I'm just recognizing that the audience that may be listening to this is inside the United States, but it's real football as you play with your foot. You want to open that door? Kristin: Or soccer. David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Or soccer. David Murphy: Okay. Anyway, the ball with your foot is called football in my world, in your world it may be called soccer. So I saw that is the only time really I was being around people in our community. I'm with Christians all the time. I'm in a church, I'm a pastor, I'm either dealing with staff people or I'm dealing with church people. And I remember sitting ... my son was playing and I'm sitting in a line with other parents. And at that time, "Who are you? What's your name? Where do you come from? How long have you-" Kristin: Did you pull out your business card? David Murphy: No. I cannot say I have- Randy Bezet: You did it wrong. You have to pull out your business card. David Murphy: Pastor, I don't think I've ever- Randy Bezet: Do you even know where you have any? David Murphy: No. Randy Bezet: Yeah. I don't have the business- David Murphy: I think Kristin gave me business cards when I first came here about four or five years ago, and I don't even know where I put them. So I apologize Kristin, this is ... I know I'm doing it publicly and all that, but- Randy Bezet: That's a waste of church money, Mr. Murphy. David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Okay, so you're standing in line now and you're genuinely just having a conversation. David Murphy: I was standing in line, I'm just sitting but just being interested in people. Just, "Hey, what do you do for a living?" And in doing so, not the first week, not the second week, but "Hey, how are you doing? How was your week?" Just the natural. I'm sitting with you. The conversation then opened up. Who are you, and was your ... In my world, my accent to your ears, it opens up doors. Like, where are you from? So that opens a door naturally for me. Therefore at that point it's like, "Well, I serve for a business that has different franchises." Randy Bezet: Do you really say it like that? David Murphy: Not sometimes. I actually have- Randy Bezet: Because otherwise you lose relationship with them. Oh, you're a pastor. David Murphy: Well, yeah, I'm a pastor. Oh great. Randy Bezet: And that's the whole point about- David Murphy: Yeah. They go sit on the other side of the field. I then start talking to them and then just start to just build relationship, and then invite them. That's the scary part. It's like, "Do you want to come to church?" In the world that I am, the fields and where we were in a mobile setting, so we're in the middle school right beside it. So it's actually quite easy to turn around and say, "We meet right there." Or because I'm already ... we were fifth campus over there, the name of Bayside was known. So I was in a different position that obviously you weren't at the start of everything. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: I was able to say Bayside. Oh, is that not a big place down on 64. I've never been there. I used to go, I went for Christmas or whatever. Well, actually the campus is right here. But it came being aware that when I was in the community, I didn't have to go looking for these people. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: These people were sitting beside me as I was doing life with my kid. So I think we have to be aware of the actual opportunities that are around us all the time. That then they come up to you and they say, "You know what, my aunt or my granny was going through a tough time." It's amazing how then the doors do open to pray, to lead, to encourage- Randy Bezet: My kids have played sports too and they played football. David Murphy: Real football. Randy Bezet: Yeah. They played real football, the original football. David Murphy: The original. Let's not go there. Randy Bezet: And I just remember, you get to know families there and it starts off small talk. Oh, the game and the weather and then whatever. And then through the years, they go through a crisis and they know you're a pastor and then all of a sudden the door opens. David Murphy: It is true. Randy Bezet: And you almost ... Or as a pastor, you do this with the people in your church as well, because a crisis opens up the door for them to lean into you, and that's true in the community as well. As our kids were playing soccer, the families would be going something or something would just come up, and it gave me a chance to pastor them. So through the years of my kids playing soccer, it ended up that 75% of the families, now they actually come to our church. David Murphy: I would say at least two or three families of every little team he's been on are at the campus. But I didn't have to go looking for an evangelism opportunity. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: It was there because I was involved in the community. Kristin: Just hearing what both of you guys are saying, a couple of things that I've picked up on is that you have placed yourself where people are, versus waiting for people to come into the doors of the church. It's two very different- Randy Bezet: Most certainly. Kristin: .... things. And so even in those conversations, they didn't necessarily come to Bayside right away, but that didn't keep you from pastoring them for years before. Randy Bezet: It's true. Let me just throw this- Kristin: Yeah. Randy Bezet: ... and then we'll dig a little bit more. Kristin: Yeah. Randy Bezet: To me, I don't care if they come to Bayside. Kristin: That's huge. David Murphy: That's big. Kristin: That's massive. David Murphy: Okay, let me ask you- Randy Bezet: Because as long as they go to church- David Murphy: But were you tempted in those early days? Was there something in you-? Randy Bezet: I'm tempted now. I would love for them all to go to Bayside, but if I'm honest with you, that's not God's plan. David Murphy: Yeah. Which is wisdom, maturity for you as a pastor. Randy Bezet: Well, the reality of it is, if all the 64% of people in America that don't go to church, if they decided this weekend that they're all going to go to church, they can't fit in the churches we have now. So we need more churches. David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: So God's plan is not for a church, but for the church. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Okay. So that's what I'm for. Now, naturally, if I'm there with my kids and playing sports together, they're going to want to come to our church, but- David Murphy: But that's what they see. They see you probably in your normal fun state- Randy Bezet: Super competitive. David Murphy: You shout at the referee and all that. Kristin: I don't think he's fun at some of the things. Randy Bezet: It makes me a real person. David Murphy: Him, he's like, "oh, no." Because Alicia, I don't know how many times Alicia has looked at me. She's just touching me, she goes, "Do you remember just who you are?" Kristin: I know. It's a good thing that Amy, Randy's wife, is much nicer than he is. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Indeed. Kristin: Those soccer families would've never come to church. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Love covers over a multitude of sin. Amy's love is covered over a multitude of my sin. David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Okay, wait. I want to come back to something that you just said, which, I don't know if this is the reality of everybody, but you don't really care what church they go to. Randy Bezet: That's right. Kristin: You're trying to build the kingdom of God. You just want people to find Jesus and find a church. Randy Bezet: It's my job to sow seed and water and encourage people. God grows the church. If he grows them in my church, great. If he grows them in other people's church, honestly, that is all that matters. Kristin: Okay. David Murphy: Apollos sowed, Paul watered, but God gave the growth. Having that mentality that we all have a part to play. Whether you are a pastor or a parishioner or a member of a church, all of us have a part to play. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: Don't just give it to the professionals. But those of us who get the opportunity to lead the church, being aware of that, that's a great attitude. That's a great mentality because it's not about me anymore, it's not about us anymore, it's not about the name of Bayside. It's about the name of Christ. Kristin: Yeah. So you combine that with the truth that there aren't enough churches in America, which means we all need each other to pastor the community. Let's talk for a minute about ... so you've been in the community that we're in now, Bradenton, Sarasota Suncoast area for how many years? Randy Bezet: We started the church 17 years ago. Kristin: 17. So 17 years. Randy Bezet: This year will be 18. David Murphy: But you moved on when? How long have you personally- Randy Bezet: I moved here three months prior to starting the church. Kristin: No church planter should listen to that. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Kristin: Don't follow that motto. David Murphy: Three months before you started the church. Randy Bezet: And I parachuted in here. Not like I knew a bunch of people. It's not the way you do it. The ARC, Association of Related Churches, we know how to plant churches and that's not the protocol. I didn't do it right. David Murphy: You were way early in that process. So what not to do. Randy Bezet: Yeah. That's how we know what to do now because dummies like me didn't do it right. Kristin: All right. But God's grace covers a multitude of mistakes. Randy Bezet: Indeed. Kristin: All right, so 17 years in one community. You can't effectively pastor this community by yourself. How have you ... and maybe some other pastors and leaders out listening are wondering this too. I've got a big community, I've got a big city, is it possible to bring some unity amongst some other churches, other church leaders to help pastor the large amount of people in our backyard. Because we can't do it by ourself. And you are an extremely relational leader in bridging relationships and building that. Can you maybe ... let's talk for a minute practically. Maybe help give some tools to other pastors, leaders, people in churches that are trying to pastor their community but want to do it with other people. Randy Bezet: Yeah. That's a tricky thing to do as a pastor and a leader because so many times pastors ... what I'm doing, I don't want to share it with you because you're going to go take it and do it. Everything comes very proprietary and I hold my cards close to my chest. David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: Here's how I'll fault that. Two primary ways. First of all, when I moved to this community and I started Bayside ... and whether you've already started a church or whether you're going to, I think you can still do this. I went to pastors that I saw as kind of the gatekeepers of the city, if you will, the influential churches, and I would try to meet with them. I'll buy you a cup of coffee, I'll buy you lunch, and I would sit down with them and say, "I'm going to be pastoring this community. You're a very influential church and I just want you to know I'm in this town and I just would love to learn from you or at least let you know that I'm here to serve this community. And thank you for all that you've done. You have sown, you have prayed. There's so many things that you have done." David Murphy: This is prior to you starting. Randy Bezet: Oh, even starting the church. Kristin: Just honoring. Randy Bezet: Yeah. In fact, I met a man the other day in our town that I had never met before. He runs the number one Christian radio station in the country. I never met him before and I met him the other day. He was the very first one to ever have an FM radio station, Christian radio station in America. I met him for the first time the other day and I told him, you heard me say this, I told him what I've told pastors over and over again. "What an honor to meet you. Thank you for the years of praying and fasting and sowing seed for this community. I just happened to get to come in here and be a part of the harvest and I just want to say thank you for that." David Murphy: Yeah. I was there. Randy Bezet: That's just disarming because in all actuality we have other pastors. Whether you moved into that city or whether you live there, you still have other pastors in that community who worked hard for the harvest that's happening there. David Murphy: Yeah. When you offered to get coffee with them, did they respond, did they not responded, did they see you- Randy Bezet: A lot of them won't even call you back. David Murphy: So they saw you as a threat? Randy Bezet: I don't know that. I can't answer that question. David Murphy: Sorry, I was unfair to say that. But they didn't respond to you. Randy Bezet: No, some did not respond to me. David Murphy: What did that do in you then? Randy Bezet: I'm still going to honor them, I'm not going to beat the door down. I'm going to try to be their friend in the community and do what I can. And you know what else I've done, we've done this since day one at Bayside. We call two other churches in our community that are Christian churches that preach the gospel, use the word of God. We call them every week and we ask them, "Hey, what are your prayer requests?" And we pray for them during our service for them. David Murphy: Yeah. That impacted me when I started to come to Bayside. Randy Bezet: Because, once again, it's about the church in the area. So we pray for them. Those are some things that we do practically that I've tried to diffuse all of that. David Murphy: It's funny because we talk about being in the community. You said the term key holders of influence in the church, while in church. But there's also key holders of influence in the community. I remember just praying, and this is a walk by the Holy spirit. Obviously you have to say Lord where, because you could run yourself ragged at all the needs in the community. Where are the people who are influential in this community, whether they are known or unknown, and in our world it was the schooling system. The schooling system sits in the really centerpiece of where we are, a lot of families in that community. So we just started to serve them. I just started to try to build relationship with them, with the custodians, with the admin staff or the teachers. That opened up doors that ... learning from you, I don't need to come to Bayside. David Murphy: I want you to know that Jesus loves you and we're here to serve you. What are your needs? And we saw in the school they took ownership of what they were doing because we would come in and do a serve day or clean something for them. I say that is good, but I've also missed many opportunities. I was out for a run with one of our guys and there was literally a crash. There was an accident had happened. Him and I, we were running, and on the way back from the run the car that was ... the two cars that were crushed were there and the girl was ... thankfully there was no casualties or anything like that. It was just a bad crash and they were waiting for the police to do all the paperwork. So we ran. And to go back to what I think you said, Kristin, earlier on, we get so busy, and I had an agenda that day. I was like, I was going for a run with this guy- Kristin: You're a busy man. David Murphy: I was going to go, I need to go back here, do this, do that. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: Thankfully, the guy I was with was a better pastor than I am, and he said, "Let's stop and find out everything." I was ready to just run past. I was like, "No, I-" Randy Bezet: I got stuff to do. David Murphy: ... I got stuff to do. And you know what? We went over, and hey, how you doing? Blah blah blah. Listen, we're just two pastors in the community. We'd love to pray for you. Can we pray for you? And it's amazing. Their response was like, oh, thank you. Yes. Again, to go back to a moment of crisis. But I was like, yeah, they're fine. No blood. Let's go. I was so by my agenda. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: I think we all have to be very, very aware. Yes, we need to have an agenda, but Lord, give us another opportunity each day. Who are the people? Donna was asking me, a lady at church was saying about the city, County commissioning praying for them. And I know you've done this for a long time. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: I'm thinking, I want to go there? But then just going and praying for the County commissioning. It's just a five minutes event. Randy Bezet: If you can just walk slowly, as they say, slowly through the crowd, like Jesus. And you see the crisis as an opportunity, the accident there. We just had a funeral at the church this week from a state trooper who was shot in the line of duty, and we had some 30 different police enforcements from around the state. Governor and attorney general. All these people were here, and the sheriff in our County. I saw him and he goes, "Randy, thank you guys for doing this." And I said, "Well, that's what the church, or at least that's the church I want to pastor." David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: I've always wanted to be a part of the community, how can we help? I told him this, I said, "I want to be on your speed dial. When there's a problem in this community, the church, I'm here to serve you." David Murphy: But early on in the days, you probably didn't have those opportunities around. I'm wondering- Randy Bezet: I did. David Murphy: You were faithful with the opportunities that were in front of you at the time, and over time. Okay, the governor comes to the church. Many listeners may not have the governor come to their church, but the more the encouragement of being faithful at that moment and over time because your heart, not perfect because we mess up all the time, but your heart to reach the community. God says, "No, I can trust you with this." Randy Bezet: Everybody wants the governor at their church. David Murphy: Exactly. Randy Bezet: But if you don't take care of the guy at the Cracker Barrel whose grandmother just collapsed- Kristin: Right. David Murphy: Exactly. That's what I was trying to get to. Randy Bezet: Just be faithful with the opportunities you have. As civil leaders, what we did a long time ago was went to them and said, "Listen, we're a church in the community." He didn't know who we were. We probably had a hundred people coming. And I said, "Where are the problem areas and how can we help?" And that's how we started our outreach in these communities where the drugs and crime was really high. So we just decided to march into those communities, start picking up trash, literally needles, and- Kristin: Had nothing to do with people coming to church. Randy Bezet: Oh, nothing. Kristin: These people are never going to come into the doors of the church. It didn't matter. Randy Bezet: No. Kristin: It did not matter. Randy Bezet: And cooking hot dogs and just serving the people. At first they're like, "What do you want?" David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: And, nothing. David Murphy: That's something that really impacted me when I first started to come to Bayside. I'm thinking, oh, we're not trying to be strategic to reach the people for Bayside. We're trying to be strategic to reach people for Jesus, and that heart of generosity. Something I did see, I saw this in my parents all those years ago in Spain. I couldn't quantify it, but they had to. They just served the community. My dad was between the prison ministry and the drug rehab, and then their moms and the kids ended up coming to church. And because you showed care, then they trusted you. Okay, who is this God? Who is this Jesus? What's this Bible? Kristin: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Right. David Murphy: So whatever, it doesn't matter. That's- Kristin: What's that quote? People don't care about what you say, but they care about what you do. David Murphy: They won't care. Randy Bezet: People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Kristin: Yeah. And so talking about pastoring the community, people just need to know that you care, that they care. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Kristin: I'm going to put you on the spot here. Randy Bezet: No. I love that. Can I deflect this one to David Murphy over here? Kristin: It's one of the most impactful stories that I have heard you share. It was pretty early on Bayside, I think, when we had started. It's really one of the moments that marked you in pastoring this community. I know it wasn't one of the highlight reels because if you could go backwards, you would 100% do it differently. But it comes into play with a lot of things we keep going back to that I would imagine a lot of our listeners and pastors and ministry leaders, they struggle with. Busy-ness or trying to get from here to there or they're focused on growing the church or they got to meet with the people that are in the church. There's missed opportunities that really, when you boil it down to pastoring the community, that it's what it's all about. So not to put you on the spot, but to put you on the spot, because I'm on a microphone- Randy Bezet: Who gave her a microphone? Kristin: I don't know. They are going to take it away from me. David Murphy: Don't mess it up Randy. Kristin: Next month I won't have one. Would you share that moment. I think it's going to minister and really help a lot of people. Randy Bezet: It was early on in the church, and it still bothers me to tell the story because of how gross I just missed the opportunity. And it's because you are, as a pastor, about all these things I have to do. David Murphy: It's hard. Randy Bezet: It is so hard. David Murphy: Yeah. You got a lot. Randy Bezet: I remember in our neighborhood there was a little boy crossing the street, a little boy, he was a middle schooler. He was going to school and he crossed the street, but he didn't look both ways. He walked down from the street and a truck came by, and he died right there. It was a big deal in our community too. I remember driving past that family, because in order to get to my house and our neighborhood, I had to pass by that home every day. I prayed for that. I'd go by there, "Oh, Lord. Bless them. Lord bless them." My heart broke. It really did. David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: I was like, "God bless them." I'd pray for them. David Murphy: You were genuine. Randy Bezet: Oh yeah, of course I was. I really was genuine. And I remember praying like, "God, we need momentum in our church and God bring growth." I just know I had this moment with God. I don't really know how to describe it except, God grabbed ahold to my heart. I didn't necessarily hear him speak audibly, but man, he spoke louder than audibly. David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: You know what I mean? David Murphy: Sure. Randy Bezet: You know those moments. Kristin: You're never going to forget this. Randy Bezet: No, it is louder than words. He was like, "Randy, you're praying for all this growth in the church, and you missed an opportunity to love people that need it the most. And so you want me to grow the church, how about you just take care of the people that I put around you?" David Murphy: I know you prayed. I'm sorry to sort of- Randy Bezet: No, it's okay. David Murphy: I'm doing a Kristin here. Did you not- Randy Bezet: Yeah, that's not your role. Kristin: I'm going to take the microphone. Randy Bezet: Mute him, somebody. David Murphy: Did you just not go to the house or why were you so ... obviously you were praying for them, but do you feel you didn't go to the door or give them a meal or-? Randy Bezet: Yeah, that was the problem. David Murphy: You did not do that. Randy Bezet: I didn't even go check. David Murphy: Okay. Randy Bezet: I didn't even go ask. David Murphy: Okay. Randy Bezet: Here we are, this was probably eight, nine months later. It was not fresh, it was yesterday's news. David Murphy: Yes. The Lord brought that to your mind. Randy Bezet: And I just repented. I said, "God, I'm sure I'm going to mess up again, but I'm going to walk different. I'm going to think different. Hopefully I'll see different now." David Murphy: And that affected the church that we have today, because of that. Randy Bezet: That's when I realized pastoring a community is not just a cool phrase. Kristin: No. Randy Bezet: It's like- David Murphy: It's messy. Randy Bezet: ... I need to have eyes to see those ... Oh yes. Definitely messy, and it's time consuming. David Murphy: Yeah. Kristin: Yeah. I was about to say not just eyes to see but time. David Murphy: Time, yeah. Kristin: Margin. Randy Bezet: I have to be willing- Kristin: You live with margin. Be willing to be interrupted. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Live with margin. How many of you are sitting around going, I have margin today. I'm just going to wait and see what happens. Kristin: Right. How do you balance that? Randy Bezet: You have to be willing to be interrupted. Kristin: Be interrupted. Randy Bezet: People say, "Oh, you're so busy." The size of the church or whatever. Everybody's busy. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: Everybody's busy with something or another. Randy Bezet: Yeah. You have to be willing to be interrupted. I'm not great at it. I'm not. Most times I got my head down and I'm plowing new ground, but that did brand me in such a way that it led me to pastoring the community. Which is, from there I went to civil leaders and people and I went- David Murphy: Yeah, that triggered- Kristin: Yeah. It was a catalyst. Randy Bezet: ... "Where are the problems? Let me help you with those things." David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: So it did change- Kristin: Then it helped Bayside really go to places where we're meeting people where the needs are so that if we're interrupted in our ... we positioned ourselves to be interrupted. David Murphy: It's funny you say that. I remember in the Spanish campus, I was leading and ... again, going back to this leading by the spirit. This guy had asked me to deal with a funeral. I thought, "I don't even know this family. I don't even know who these people are." I thought, you know what, let's do the funeral. So I went and did the funeral. Even though the young guy that asked me to do it had been coming a little while, it was a God honoring time. It all went well, but the next week and the two weeks then, there was about four rows of people from that family. Their Aunts, Uncles, all of them came to the service. And I realized, wow, it's the caring. We have to be prompted by the spirit. You can't, "Oh, let's grow a church." No. Care for people and the Lord will grow his church. We see that in the book of Acts again and again and again and again. David Murphy: But to go back to your comment about time, I don't know how you do it, but I tie myself up with time and meetings and people that I don't create that margin. I need to be, it's okay when something doesn't go right. My question to you is, were your sermons better the days that you ministered to the people because God gave you the grace that weekend to preach better, or do you not even remember, all your sermons are good. Randy Bezet: Well, I can tell you- David Murphy: I'm just trying to say there's time when you don't get to study, but the Lord, he fills in the gaps when you're doing- Randy Bezet: He does. David Murphy: Is that fair. Is that a better way to- Randy Bezet: He most certainly does. Now, let me speak as the lead pastor of the church because Sunday's coming and you have to have a sermon ready. You can fill your schedule with other stuff, but when people show up on Sunday- David Murphy: That's the bread and butter. Randy Bezet: You better have a word. I think that we need to manage our time in such a way that we give people the best that we can for the weekend. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Because they're there and they need to hear a revelation and a word from God. It's your one chance to pastor the large percentage of your people all at one time- David Murphy: Yeah, they're all there. Randy Bezet: ... by sharing a word with them. So this is not an excuse. I said all of that to say, don't let this be sloppy agape, leading the church kind of a thing. Kristin: Yeah David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: I'm just going to show up and wing it. Kristin: It's not either or. It's both. David Murphy: That's wise. Randy Bezet: Shepherd really well and prepare and study. But when moments like that come up and you need to pastor people and you've got to walk slowly through the crowd, I think God's grace does make up for that. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: Absolutely. David Murphy: That's wise. Randy Bezet: You just can't live there. Kristin: It's so good. David Murphy: That's wise because those moments don't come all the time. Randy Bezet: No. Kristin: It's so good. This conversation, I think we could probably go on and on and on and on about it. But as I reflect back, just even on our time, pastoring the community, we're talking about being willing to be interrupted. Randy Bezet: Yeah. Kristin: Being willing to be interrupted, walking slowly through the crowd, the focus not being on people coming to the church. But just going where people are and being Jesus to the community. Randy Bezet: That's right. Kristin: What are some of the ... if you could in a nugget, in a quick nugget as we wrap this episode. David Murphy: That's going to be hard for us. Kristin: I know. Kristin: All right. Give me that one thing that if I could tell the person listening, pastor, church planter, leader, outreach ministry, volunteer, whoever it is. If you want to pastor your community well, what's that thing you have to do? Randy Bezet: Well, honestly, I think it's all the things that we covered. But I guess in a nugget what I would tell people to realize ... hopefully, this will be the thing that'll, in their mind, will be in the forefront. The strength of your church will not be what happens on the weekend, it will be what happens in between the weekends. Kristin: So good. Randy Bezet: And that is true. I think your church needs to have relationships in groups or however you do it. But it's also the relational component that you have with pastoring the community in between the weekends. Like with your kids in sports or in whatever kind of activities that they have. Then looking for those moments of difficulty that you can pastor them and help them. It's doing those things in between the weekend that I think will make your weekend even better. David Murphy: Yeah. Randy Bezet: So it's that revelation that, yes, it's the weekend and it needs to be good, but your weekends will be better- Kristin: If you spend your week. Randy Bezet: Yes. Kristin: What about you David? David Murphy: Just as I got a little bit more time to think, Randy because ... I think because it's pastors and shepherds, it's prayer. Prayer for our people, pray for the community, pray for marriages, pray for families, pray for opportunities, pray because that's what you need to be healthy. We need to be walking with the Lord so it is genuine, because people can see a fake. You're just doing this to get to me, you're just doing it because you want me to go to your church. No, I love God and I want to love you. You know what I mean? Kristin: Right. David Murphy: So I would say, one of the things is, do not neglect the spiritual disciplines as a pastor, a leader, a shepherd, whatever it is. Kristin: It's good. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: The spiritual disciplines will be the one that then will guide you because it's not about building your brand or your church, it's about building the name of Jesus Christ and pointing people to him. And that happens in prayer because prayer is aligning myself to him. Prayer is humbling myself to listen, prayer is adjusting my schedule, being interrupted. There has to be a spiritual discipline of prayer. I'm not a prayer warrior, I'm not, but I'm trying to learn, what does it look like to pray without ceasing? What does it look like to be able to be aware? God, give me your eyes so that I can know it's on your strength that I do this, and not my name and my reputation. Both Randy and I, we love people. Randy Bezet: Yeah. David Murphy: We love to be around people, so it's- Randy Bezet: Most of them. David Murphy: Yeah. Well, most of them. It's true, most of them. Can I send one back to your campus? But it's that prayer. I would say prayer is a big one. Kristin: That's so good. Well, David, thank you so much for being a part of the conversation today. David Murphy: Oh my goodness. Honored. Kristin: Yeah. David Murphy: And if you don't understand- Kristin: Maybe Randy will let you come back. I don't know. David Murphy: If people don't understand any words and you heard something that wasn't right from my accent- Kristin: You were speaking Spanish? David Murphy: I was ... Yes, speaking a lot. That's the way we say it in Ireland. Randy Bezet: The same thing, that's how we say it in Louisiana. I was like, "Oh, okay." David Murphy: Send your emails to ... Kristin, is that the one- Randy Bezet: No. David Murphy. I don't care.com Kristin: Thank you Randy. David Murphy: I want to thank you. Kristin: Thank you. It's always great to sit down and have a conversation. Randy Bezet: I truly enjoy it. Sharing my own mistakes and things that I've learned. Hopefully, this whole podcast, and even what we talked about today and in general, that this thing just helps other pastors just kind of learn. I think we are better together. Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to another episode of the Relational Leader podcast. For more resources, visit randybezet.com.