Scott Jones 0:02 Welcome to dream big, with big dreamers, conversations for career growth, inspiration and insight, hosted by Donna Serdula. And yours truly, Scott Jones. Here are the inspiring stories that shaped the careers of top executives, entrepreneurs and professionals. These empowering discussions offer guidance and advice. As you advance in your career. It's time to dream big. Donna Serdula 0:27 Hey there, Scott. Scott Jones 0:29 Donna, it's always great to see. Always great to see you as well. Donna Serdula 0:33 I am back from vacation and let me just tell you know, good vacation goes on punished. It's like, I'm back and I don't know what to do. There's so many things in front of me. Scott Jones 0:45 I think you colored your hair to or something. There's something different with your hair. You've got it. It looks fantastic. Donna Serdula 0:50 But you know what it is? It's my tan. It's my tan. Scott Jones 0:54 It's a summer hair kind of thing. It's You look great. Donna Serdula 0:57 Well, thank you. Thank you. I will say that you have been spending even more time on clubhouse like before, like before the last podcast You said you were you were like getting involved. You are pinging me at all hours of the day. You're Scott Jones 1:11 Oh, yeah. Donna Serdula 1:13 Like do you go out and eat? Scott Jones 1:16 I you know, it's funny. I'm I'm summering in New York, and I am not getting much New York City experience. Because I'm in clubhouse all the time. And the times I've gone out have been to meet people I've met on clubhouse. So this is my theory on why this app is successful. Okay. So let's think we're dreaming big. These must be big dreamers because Twitter offered them $4 billion. And they said no. And is really strange about this app is it spoils your real life experiences because you go to a party or something. And there's maybe you know, how many parties if you've been to where there's no one you want to talk with. And then clubhouse you can bump around and get into these rooms, where people are talking about all manner of things. Donna Serdula 2:02 I'm now trying to think of how can we transition this information back to our guest is like clicking here because I'm like, Okay, well, she's a leadership coach. She's a strategic executive career and leadership coach, she works with people who feel stuck. She works with people. And I'm almost wondering, maybe she needs to work with the the leaders of clubhouse to really figure out what their vision is to the next level. Scott Jones 2:31 Brenda, what would you advise, like, let's say you're talking with the people in clubhouse, and they've got this big app, they got 30 million people or whatever, which is still like not that's only 10% of the US population. It's successful. But like, you know, you start an app like this to do like World Domination kind of thing, right? Like, what would you say to somebody that had an app? That 30 million people that wanted to go and be the next Facebook? Like, how would you advise them? Brenda Abdilla 2:56 Oh, I wish I knew the answer to that, I mean, I think you know, you're right, they have one of two plans, you know, for, for good or for evil. Where I go with that, which is potentially a downer is that my world is is my client base are people who are unhappy at work. And so clubhouse could be a real distraction. So, you know, some of it could be learning, which I think is an anti depressant. When we learn new things. I think it has all those good chemicals in our brain. And it's certainly neurologically making good things happen in your brain. right you're really enjoying it and getting a lot out of it. Donna Serdula 3:44 Scott is totally pumped about this. He's He's loving clubhouse, too. And I'm going to say I think you're addicted Scott. Scott Jones 3:52 I am see a clubhouse anonymous, we Donna Serdula 3:54 we need to get Scott unstuck, Brenda, because you you work with two different types of clients. All right. So you work with professionals and high level careers who feel overwhelmed, burnt out and trapped by their circumstances. So but they want to consider a career change or explore their options. Or you work with these leaders and executives who are hungry for a new approach to managing their time and their team in the stress of having too much to do. I am thinking Scott might feel stuck in clubhouse and we've got to bring him back into the real world to re experience life and not to feel so disappointed because not everyone's a great conversationalist. Brenda Abdilla 4:32 Well Scott has to has to think he has a problem. Donna Serdula 4:39 Brenda, but you know, like you said earlier about clubhouse being, you know, a platform for training and teaching. And when I looked at your LinkedIn profile, and I went through I mean you've been in training almost your entire career, whether it was sales training or or like I haveI have to ask you this like when I think of trainers, I think of people who are really peppy and are really enthusiastic. Were you a cheerleader in high school? Brenda Abdilla 5:06 I was not a cheerleader. But I was a very peppy, outgoing sales trainer. Absolutely. I basically, you know, was very practical, but I performed for eight or nine hours straight. Every time I delivered a workshop. So I did not miss that. Scott Jones 5:27 Were you in theater in high school or what? Like high school culture like what group were you in? Brenda Abdilla 5:31 You know what I was not what happened to me I had I grew up very meager means my parents were immigrants from the island of Malta. they immigrated in the 50s. And I grew up I was born in the 60s. AndI stumbled upon sales. And it was the only thing that I was just really good at. Donna Serdula 5:57 What What did your parents do? So they they they came to America? What were they doing? Brenda Abdilla 6:01 My dad worked for Ford Motor Company, as many immigrants did. Donna Serdula 6:06 In the factory in the factory stalling? Yeah, like sunvisors and things like that. Brenda Abdilla 6:11 I think it was like a vinyl in the vinyl plant on the line. And my mother stayed home with seven kids. Scott Jones 6:23 seven kids Wow. Brenda Abdilla 6:24 Right. Donna Serdula 6:26 She wasn't busy. Brenda Abdilla 6:29 It's funny because I'm so against seven kids. For myself, I have one kid. And but I'm, you know, I'm not too sorry. Cuz I was the sixth. So Donna Serdula 6:40 so so you get into sales. Now I gone into sales. My father was in sales. And, and I, it's crazy that I got into sales because I saw the ugly side of sales. I saw that in high pressure, I saw that, that need to hit the quota, and, and just how gut wrenching sales can be. And also, I always think of that Frank Sinatra song, you know, the one like, you know, you're, you're up and over and out. And you know, you know, and it's the idea of your flying high in April, you know, what was it dropped down in May, however, the lyrics go, but it's so true, because that quota keeps resetting so your constantly. It's like Sisyphus, you know, trying to roll that Boulder. So like, What attracted you to that? I don't know what I mean. There's, there's certainly a love for it. But at the same time, what attracted you? Brenda Abdilla 7:27 Well, I think I, I never. I never did sales, the skanky way, kind of thing. I had that very early on, I would do kind of a needs analysis and,and, and what grew out of that I had very successful teams very young in my 20s. Although what people do in their 20s now is just makes me embarrassed about what I think was so accomplished in my 20s. But I had these successful teams. And then I realized everyone was making it harder than it had to be. So after I when I was 29, I had the gift of being fired. And Donna Serdula 8:09 What were you fired for? Brenda Abdilla 8:10 For your personality reasons not not performance. Donna Serdula 8:15 Oh, my gosh, were you sad? Or were you like, Thank God? Brenda Abdilla 8:18 I it was it was liberation for me. So for those of you Scott Jones 8:23 What did they list is your personality problem where you're too pushy, too. Brenda Abdilla 8:27 I was assertive, and I had a mansplaining sexual harass the boss. Wow. Donna Serdula 8:37 Oh, yeah, I bet got along real well with him Brenda Abdilla 8:40 I would literally say things to him. Like, I think you would be better suited elsewhere. You're not very good at your job. So you can imagine the pleasure you had in firing me. But that was really the last real job I had. I I fell in love with being an entrepreneur and training people some version of training my entire remainder up until now career, Donna Serdula 9:09 what do you get out of it? Brenda Abdilla 9:12 Well, I used to get a different thing out of it when it was audiences, right? There is a part of you that when you're at the front of the room that is very stimulating, and you love that adulation and power and that kind of thing. And then when I shifted to one on one coaching completely by accident, I fell in love with the non presence of me, right with the the irrelevance of my presence, but just holding that presence for somebody else and helping them have realizations for anybody who's done one on one work. It's so powerful once you kind of know how to do it. So that's what I get out of it. Donna Serdula 9:57 And I'm looking at I'm thinking it's kind of a ballsy move, you know, to dream big to go, alright, I'm done with being an employee, I'm tired of padding other people's pockets, and I'm going off on my own.Did you have a mentor? Did you like what kind of gave you the idea that you could do it? Brenda Abdilla 10:15 I went to this and Well, two things happen. I went to this class at like a community college while I was still employed. And it was like entrepreneurial 101 or something. And it was this cutest little instructor who I'm still friends with on Facebook. And she was like, the basics of having your own business. And there was something in my brain that was like bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, and then two of my employees. So I was in my late 20s, and two of my employees who were in their late 40s pulled me aside and said, seriously, you're really good at this whole training thing. And you need to get out of here. And then I was fired shortly after. So I did have that that was sort of a mentoring for me, you know, to have that enlightened outsider say, you know, you're you're destined for bigger things. Scott Jones 11:11 I mean, I think getting fired, right? Like, is a traumatic experience, or it's like, you know, like a divorce or a breakup or something, you know, like, or failing at a school or some of these things where like, it's just all of us are insecure, I think. And it's just this, it's like the insecure buzzer going, ding, ding, ding, ding. So how did you kind of go, Okay, look, I got fired. But I'm not a failure. Like, how did you kind of work through the emotional process of getting fired? And catapult yourself to greater success? If Did you like, was there a transition period? Did you have to kind of go for long walks of engine ice cream, and eat in cheap gin bars? Or like, What? What got what got you through this, this this hard thing? Yeah, to get to a place of real accomplishment? Brenda Abdilla 12:10 Well, pretty much like everything, I did it the hard way. I used to say that it takes four years to get over getting fired. Well, that's a long time, it took me four years. So I was just filled with rage, basically. And it took me four years, I would see him at conferences and whatnot. And just Just see. And so as a result of that, though, I've created a process that I helped my clients kind of recover more quickly, because it happens all the time. It happens to good people who are highly qualified, sometimes it's political. And you do have to process and work through it in a in a very, very intentional way. Because our culture wants you to just get over it and be positive and move on to the next thing. And that's what your family and friends will tell you, you know, just let it go. But it is a as you said, it is a serious, serious hit to your your confidence and your sense of security. Donna Serdula 13:18 I always think of that one saying of when one door closes, another one opens. And I really do think so for so many people that they overstay at jobs. I mean, they just overstay, they get really comfortable. And they don't move. And they stop growing and they start to take root. And and I find that when either they're laid off or they're fired. It's usually a good thing. It really isn't a lot of people have a hard time saying it is a good thing. Yeah, but in almost all the situations i've you know, when I deal with my clients in my in my own, you know, experience, like thank goodness, you know, you weren't meant to be there anymore. This is this is the universe giving you that push that you need that you couldn't do on your own? Do you feel that way? Brenda Abdilla 14:07 Absolutely. And I think the overstaying is a huge component, you know, they've pretty much stopped, you know, taking care of their network. And, and they're saying things to me initially when they meet me, you know, I'm just gonna get it out, you know, five more years or three more years or, and that is just such a red flag for me that they have overstayed and that you know, it's just like the podcast for you had the divorce attorney and she said the biggest issue that kills a marriage right is apathy Donna Serdula 14:43 Brenda, you know, that keeps going on in my ever since we had that call with with Susan. I think of that all the time, that apathy and it's, it's it's so insidious, and it's not just marriage, it's so many places. Brenda Abdilla 14:57 I think it's one of the most dangerous emotion That we can have I mean, it should make us go Hmm, I don't care about my marriage or I don't care about my job or my team. It shouldn't alarm us. Donna Serdula 15:10 And doesn't it it sneaks up on you. That's an I think those are the people who are coming into you like they, it takes them a long time to realize and all of a sudden, all they know is they're stuck. And they don't know how they got here. Brenda Abdilla 15:23 Yes, and their loved ones have told them to get a career coach or go to therapy. Donna Serdula 15:31 It's a hard thing, because a lot of times we have these blind spots, and like,we're so blind, we don't even see the blind spot. Now, how do you do that? How do you deal with that? I mean, do you find that people's blind spots are obvious to everyone but them? Or do you have to work hard to sort of like peel back that onion? Brenda Abdilla 15:51 The way that I like to put it is the thing that is your obstacle, either you're not getting interviews, or you're not getting offers or you're you're not getting promoted? The thing that you think it is, is not it, it's something else. Let's find that something else. Right? So an easy one is if they're over 40, they think it's their age, they're being aged out. And usually, they're not. They're vital. They have experience the company wants to hire grownups. But it's something else. Maybe they're you know, I'm trying to think of an non swear word for a-hole Donna Serdula 16:36 jerk. Brenda Abdilla 16:38 Maybe they're, you know, very difficult or overcomplicate things or political or mean, Donna Serdula 16:46 Did you, did you go to college? Brenda Abdilla 16:48 I did, I actually went to very unsexy. The University of Phoenix. Donna Serdula 16:53 Oh, so I see you went later than an online. Brenda Abdilla 16:57 No, my parents died very when I was very young. So I was like an orphan. And I worked full time and put myself through college at University of Phoenix. Donna Serdula 17:09 So what did you What was your degree in Brenda Abdilla 17:11 business Donna Serdula 17:12 Business Administration? Brenda Abdilla 17:14 Yeah. Donna Serdula 17:15 So Brenda, do you have any hobbies, what do you do outside of work? Brenda Abdilla 17:22 I would say food. Food Yeah. Donna Serdula 17:25 Of Which on her LinkedIn profile, her headline it says foodie, which I love and I'm all for putting Brenda Abdilla 17:31 I learned how to do my LinkedIn headline from you. Donna Serdula 17:36 What kind of foodie are you? Brenda Abdilla 17:38 Well, I love to feed people. And so like we're having 35 people on Sunday, and every spare minute I get I'm mapping out how the buffets going to be lined up, and the what food and recipes and I just, I, I love food related entertainment. I love it. Donna Serdula 18:02 Do you have any who's like who's an influencer right now? Or who inspires you? Is there someone out there that you're like, really? Finding fascinating and, and learning from? Brenda Abdilla 18:13 Well, I'm pretty obsessed with Tim Ferriss and everything he does. I just think, Wow, what a thought leader. He curates such fascinating, interesting, always good stuff, his books and whatnot. Do you have a four hour workweek? Haha, I was so blown away by that book many years ago. And I knew that I wasn't going to have a four hour workweek. But I got so many good ideas. It just, I think if you give your brain a little bit of food, it can make all kinds of connections that are more relevant for your life and your work. Soyeah, I think that's why it's so important to read and listen, and even if it's on clubhouse to put yourself in a learning. Unknown Speaker 19:03 And that's Donna Serdula 19:04 what you just said is is kind of the idea here of this podcast. It's like I want people to take just, you know, 30 minutes and listen to someone who's who's had success and who's having fun is enjoying their life. And you know, take away something, you know, from that. Any other influencers that you like? Brenda Abdilla 19:24 Also Rene Brown, and Greg McEwen who wrote essentialism, that's probably my favorite business book to buy for people. And I reread it and Donna Serdula 19:34 I've never heard of that one. I'm gonna have to put that one on my list. Brenda Abdilla 19:40 It's so funny because I buy it for my clients. And back when we were in person, and I would go to their offices like six months later, and it would still be sitting on the desk untouched. And I would say, you're gonna really like that book. And then they send me pictures of paragraphs that are underlined like oh my god. So I think it's revelational about priorities not necessarily time management, but priorities. It's very good. Donna Serdula 20:08 Well, I will say this, I have known Brenda now for probably about a year, I guess. And she is the real thing. She's awesome. I talk to a lot of people in this business. And you, I admire you. And I really have always impressed with the things that you're doing. And your book is awesome. Brenda Abdilla 20:27 Thank you so much. And I feel exactly the same way and recommend your book and your work all the time. And I just think the podcast is very cool.So it's our clubhouse. Donna Serdula 20:39 It's our club house. But it's very exclusive. It's only the three. So Brenda when. So tell us what's what's your next dream? What? Are you dreaming big right now? Do you have something in the works? Something that you're thinking about? And then how then then how can people contact you to work with you? Brenda Abdilla 21:00 Well, I'm where I am dreaming now is that I have the life and work that I want. I do almost nothing that I don't want to do. And so I have wonderful clients that I have vetted that have vetted me and so I'm in a really good place. The easiest way to reach me is outsmarting crazytown comm because that just takes you right to my website. And I I'm on Instagram and LinkedIn, of course. Donna Serdula 21:31 Thank you. Thank you so much. Brenda Abdilla 21:33 Thank you both Scott Jones 21:35 This was utterly delightful. Brenda Abdilla 21:37 Thanks, Scott. Very nice to connect. Bye. Scott Jones 21:40 Thanks for listening to dream big. With big dreamers. If you like the show, please do us a favor. Go into iTunes and write a review and give us a rating or share it with a friend via social media and email if you think they'd benefit from these conversations. Thanks again for listening. And we'll catch you next time. Until then, keep dreaming big Transcribed by https://otter.ai