This is a machine transcription and is subject to error. Apologizes in advance. 

Hi, this is Olivia I intern for the health and wellness Center at Stonehill College and today
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I'm here with Leah a fellow student of mine and we're gonna talk about mental health
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and specifically anxiety. Hi, my name is Leah I'm a graduating
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senior, a very exciting time. I first
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got diagnosed with anxiety when I was in high school. I think I was about either
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fifteen or sixteen years old so pretty young um I
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found myself just kinda struggling with how to manage some of those emotions
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definitely um and I found it disrupted my schoolwork my extracurricular
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I was on the cheerleading team and I found myself getting so nervous to perform
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but the thing with anxiety is it's beyond nervousness. um so I was able
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to get resources my mom is really helpful and since then that's been a big advocate
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for talking about these things. I mean as a psych major very
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important talk about it and I am very happy that you are so open to talk about your experience.
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so sort of jumping right in how your experience with anxiety in high school compared
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to your experience in college. Is it similar, is it different. I think that they're very
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different ball games when it comes to high school and college. I feel like you find
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the stigma so much more in a high school than you would college um and I don't
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know if that is a change in the times but I don't feel like it is. I feel like it's
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high school behavior I feel like if the demographic charity. yeah the closer
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that kind of feeling of a high school I know I went to a really small high school that
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definitely played in part, where you get to college and you kinda realize oh
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you can see it more other people are experiencing these feelings to0, or of my roommates just
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went to her therapy session and then it gets a little bit more normalized I've found then
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you will get in high school. yeah I agree with that and some people are
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sometimes more often more open about talking about their experiences and
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like in high school everyone kinda wants to fit in and be like oh I'm normal
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everything's okay with me and that whole thing but like swirling across the whole normal
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thing when did you realize this is not a quote on quote a normal thing people experience?
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I think I realize for me it was very physical. I found myself losing weight
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from stress. I found myself for me a big anxiety
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I guess symptom for means and I would get anxiety attacks I would throw up. so if I
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had a big performance or something coming up and I would throw up before the performance or like a test in school
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and get I so nauseous and um where it really starts to disrupt your
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life is where you realize that this is beyond the feeling of everyone has the normal feelings
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I anxious for a test or I'm having a bad day or I'm upset about something those are normal
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feelings we all have a full spectrum of human emotions but when it becomes destructive
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to your daily life and I don't think I was the one to quite realize it, where I
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was so young it was actually my mom who encouraged me. does she have any background with mental heath
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she doesn't no, just a very involved mom who he loves to
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go to google. so she was the big push
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for me to kind of step back and realize one. this is something that I'm dealing
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with it's an illness and two that it's very possible to get treatment for
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it's very easily treated. I mean to is great not I mean not for everyone sometimes and
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also backtrack is like you said before
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normal for people get nervous about test but, once like if you're not sleeping well
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for like having insomnia yeah just not sleeping like how
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you were how you normally sleep and like having panic attacks like multiple
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attacks over something like trivial that you might know
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is really silly and it's just like call me all the stress in your life sometimes what people don't realize is
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it doesn't there necessarily have to be a trigger there's a lot of I mean panic attack disorder
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it's self is primarily based on the fact that you don't know why your body is going into
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the flight or fight response and it's just a feeling sometimes
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I and just part of the brain I guess yeah I mean yet like
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sometimes there are triggers like some small things but like for most of the time it's
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like why is my body doing this to me everything is fine, I'm just chilling here
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reading a book and this is happening to me yeah it can definitely be both and it's such a wide
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range of symptoms that people experience too because everyone's body is so different some people get
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sweaty palms the heart racing it feels hard to breathe hard to swallow other people
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like me you could throw up you could just feel nauseous upset stomach it can be
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irritable. yeah it and manifests differently and everyone. so it's very important
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to realize. that it's not same for everyone cause we're all different
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um. so your mom was the one to realize that there was
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something not necessarily wrong with you but like something that she thought needed
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to be addressed with you know why did you choose to seek professional help?
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For me. I didn't have. I wasn't yet feeling
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stigmatized about seeking help. yeah. I was about
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fifteen sixteen. So for me was discovering kind of what it was and what I could
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you didn't I have kind of that negative view of if I go get help
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for this is to make me like look crazy here. is very private
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thing because um it just felt like a part of my personal life that didn't
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really have to be shared at the time I guess um and so
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I don't really have any inhibitions to treatment just because for me. I wanted
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to I wanted to get better. I wanted to feel better and try
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to live a little easier life I guess but it's not like
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that for everyone there's a lot of barriers to treatment. I just happen to be lucky at the time
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that it. I guess for lack of a better term came at the right time
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for me. um because I don't know had it on set in college
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if I would've been as open to treatment as I was at fifteen. yeah and then
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your mom sort of supporting you on the way. yeah I was really lucky to have a good support system.
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my mom and my family and she definitely normalize it a lot for me
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too. I did cognitive behavior therapy which is really
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great combined with medication and different treatments work
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for everyone but um it worked for you. that was what worked for me
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and my mom at the time was like oh it would be nice to just go and talk to somebody
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and we don't realize that how much we keep inside our heads that sometimes
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just like talking it out untangles it, like therapy or something I'd recommend
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for anyone not just someone going through a mental health thing. we
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stigmatized therapy so much and it's just therapy counseling like
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we go to the career services career counseling. um that's still counseling it's just
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helping you figure out everything that's going on getting an outside perspective. and also
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like just going normalize going to the doctors
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are like for a check up, like thats totally fine just trying to figure out how your body is and they're telling
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like you like oh this is good, you might want to address this. it is so normalized but with like mental health we aren't
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there yet now sometimes we need a mental health checkup. yeah that's cool too.
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I mean access is also like really hard for individuals like with insurance and sometimes it is out of pocket um
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location. all that jazz. yeah. shortage of providers
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yes. yeah yeah but hopefully we're looking toward the future
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I think that we we are both hopeful for everyone to have access to therapy
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yeah yeah. so I think we talked about like this before
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recording this about how you still see a therapist? I do yeah,
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I go to the same therapist, um the same location I've been going to since
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high school and I just live relatively off campus. so for me and I
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like having the bonds that I'd created with my therapist and it didn't really make sense
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switching over to someone knew when it was still close. um so there's a lot of different
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options that people have whether it's on campus resources off campus
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resources. I know there's like Tele health stuff coming
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out now there's a lot of things on apps
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like mobile counseling almost like things you can sign up for which is very cool I don't
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know too much about the exact stuff and the legitimacy of it um
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but I would say also that when you go to therapy. if the first therapist you
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go to you isn't a perfect fit it doesn't have to do. also with you not liking
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therapy every therapist is gonna approach things differently
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with a different educational background and sometimes two people just don't click
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people as people and people not even between patient and provider just some people
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are different and you have to remember that your provider is also a person
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not just a provider and that those things happen so I guess I would
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say for people on the big piece of advice is if you feel that it could be helpful
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for you give more than one chance. yeah. thats a really good piece of advice
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yeah just in general I'm very happy for you that you're sticking with it.
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thank you it's good. um I like it it works for me. yeah in the future do you
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still see yourself seeking therapy as of right now or it kind of is just
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through that is a tough question I guess it's coming down to
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where we're graduating and stuff and it seems kind of to me more like a um
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childhood quote unquote problem for me which isn't
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true to say because its a disorder, it is a disorder you live with
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I believe that I probably will continue to seek therapy on a
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um probably not as frequently but what will work with
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my working world schedule because I find it good to have those little check ins.
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um like you do with the normal doctor. so you mentioned before that you don't go as
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often as you did before. no I went I feel like when you're in the route
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of trying to find an underlying cause for what you're going through. it is definitely helpful
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to go more often but when it's a continued care plan. sometimes
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depending on personal preference it doesn't feel as needed or
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you know like so I know from talking to other people who receive therapy especially on campus
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like some people need to go once a month, biweekly either
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once a week or twice a week depending on what they needed. everyone needs different things. I
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feel like it changes so much between person and so much at the time you're at with
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managing your illness. I know in high school I went sometimes every
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week every other week when I first started going and now I probably go bimonthly.
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um yeah so um I
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go back for a little checkins and if I ever feel like I try to be proactive
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rather than reactive which I think is really important with treatment. um so
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if I feel myself start get stressed out like oh maybe maybe I'll go make an appointment. yeah
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if you think you're going to go through a depressive episode its good to try to go before so you
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realize whats happening and how to dress that but I don't know if thats similar for you I feel like they go hand
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in hand. I feel like all of that kind of anxiety and depression overlap so much
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that its easy to say that it's better to catch yourself slipping into some
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bad habits tendencies are coming symptomatic. um
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and it's just easier to as soon as you notice it. make an appointment.
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yeah if you. yeah if you if you if you can if you're lucky enough to be able to
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but like start to just notice the little your own little personal warning signs of. okay.
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I need to take a step back and do a little self care whether that's making an appointment or other
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things that you figured out that works for you. and it takes a while. oh it definitely does
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it's a process the process of knowing yourself and um it's trial and error.
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yeah. but um we kind of already went over this but how did support from your friends, family
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and also like your therapist help you on your journey today and
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possibly the future. I feel like I've had been lucky enough to receive so
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much support. I know where I didn't talk as much in high school I did have my close group of friends
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who I mean it was something you could physically see at that point in my
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life but who were very helpful and supportive and didn't look down on me
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for which I was very very lucky for especially in high school where it can be
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so easy you know misconstrue things and
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my family 's always been very supportive and open and helpful um
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with getting the access to treatment um which was played a big
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role in my deciding to go to college because obviously if I had
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realized in high school that I was struggling with a mental illness college seems that much more daunting
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so where I did have the good support system it definitely felt doable at the time for me. um
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and I really really appreciated that so very helpful
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finding the people who support you. not just in the ways
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that um support you in the way that works for you. I just think of
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it in terms of also just like some people who go through this the best example I have for it I guess
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people who have anxiety attacks generally have different ways of preference
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of being calmed down if you're in a public place and you're with your friends and you're having anxiety
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attack some people like someone to sit with them give them a hug something other people like to be alone
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kinda remove themselves from the situation and that can differ so much so having people who
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understand what works for you and what doesn't. also really
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huge. yeah cause sometimes you just don't need someone saying oh you should do this or this and that
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when you're trying to you yeah. oh are you okay are you can you breath and so
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sometimes it's just um you much. yeah yeah jury have much. yeah
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yeah but then other people it's like oh wow caring so loudly at me this is great.
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yeah yeah and they need that support during that time
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yeah many times we said like depends on the person yeah no I think that's a big theme
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for this talk that there's no black and white right and wrong for
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mental health and I think that's part of talking about it that people need to realize is
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its everyone's personal journey. so moving
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on. what are some coping skills that you use even though we briefly went over that.
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yes so for me. um like I said a lot of trial and error. but
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I know exercise is really big for me. um I guess I yeah.
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physically you're releasing endorphins for me just exercising
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a few different times a week going for a run something like that. kinda get that excess energy out of
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my body a bit and just make me feel more focused and ready to
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take on new challenges. um I like yoga. I went to yoga a lot
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especially at the beginning of treatment I found that very helpful
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I'm trying to think I like to journal like to write although I
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feel like that's such a hard one to stick to when it is yeah I think you're still
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stressed out like maybe I should go write about it and you're like wit a second I have three papers due
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and I don't wanna write about it. but when you do I will see when you take the chance to do
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it. it is helpful. yeah it's sort things out in the same way I would say
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almost like with therapy where it's like everything gets a little untangled when you're able to just write
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it out or talk it out. you can do it for yourself and you can do it for yourself. exactly.
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I'm trying to think... I love my dog. Pet therapy I love to just
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sit my dog or watch Netflix and sometimes it can be something as simple as
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do I get ahead on a next. I guess in a college setting to I get ahead on the next assignment
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or should I just lay down watch an episode of Netflix. yeah and just making
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those little choices and being conscious of that yeah like I don't need to binge watch an entire season of something
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but maybe like an episode or fifteen minutes of an episode.
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yeah it's recognizing I whats gonna make you feel better because I know also one of my best friends
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is very much the opposite when they like to unwind they like to do by being productive because
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they're productive than they feel like they've got those things that they're worrying about out of the way
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rather than shutting down being like I need a second for myself. it's turning it up and be more productive.
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so I can see how that can work in both capacities. but I also think that
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there has to be a little give-and-take. if you gonna be more productive. also makes and the like that up so
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to Netflix or um if you're gonna mix in a few episodes of Netflix
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maybe do one thing that's gonna take something off your to do list as well. yeah
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do something like that in between, try to strike a balance with it
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so do you find yourself like in between like that like being productive and chilling because
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exercising is in the middle. yeah I I I suppose exercising 's in the middle.
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honestly I guess depends on the time of the semester. can say during like
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my past final exam periods. and midterm final exam periods um
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that the times that I would actually take myself out of the library and go for a run that I didn't
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think I had time for I ended up being more productive when I took just a small
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amount of time to recharge had I just pushed through it all
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it took me a while to realize it yet. um as a freshman.
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you know these things done. I can't eat I can't sleep yeah I don't have time to walk to the cafeteria I need to
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go box but you have to realize the time you take for yourself does make you more productive and
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better you when you you feel better about it and you do have time and eat yes. the time
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is there because it's gonna when it helps you be more productive. that's kind
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of where the time comes from. yeah yeah. you its important to take care
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of you in the first place you're not going to be able to do anything else exactly people often forget that
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pour from an empty cup. okay right wow that was really good um so yeah
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coping skills just went over and for like the last question to actually it's really ties in
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and how you know when you need to take a step back from situations that are anxiety
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inducing or maybe to much or damaging to your mental health. I guess for
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me when I start to feel that pressure of. I have no time when I start to get that notion
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in my head of there is no time I have to like stop for a second to like wait a minute.
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there's always time for you. so I think when
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I start to feel the pressure of running from place to place and like that constant go.
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that's when I need to notice that it's time to slow down a little bit. yeah and it happened like any time
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with finals, the beginning of the year, the middle of the year, one really weird week, yeah
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I try to like notice to like my eating and like sleeping pattern. um journaling
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is very helpful. yeah now it definitely can be I can't say I've used for that but I can
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see. yeah now that could be very helpful. um
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I think what I notice that I'm like not eating my meals at the normal meal times
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like I'm eating dinner it's like ten o'clock and like okay what am I doing
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or if I am going to bed late waking up early and then it's like
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all right I want to get more and schedule and get back on track to something that is gonna
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be better and work better for me. yeah what about like friendship
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being supper supportive of like somehow being a hindrance
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to your mental health. um I would say it's appropriate to take a step back
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from situations like that. we're all going through our own
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a little journeys here at college. everyone's got a different workload you've got different classes from
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your friends they have different things that they're stressed about. you've to remember that when tensions rise
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in a friends group or you start to feel like there's agitation among maybe you and a roommate or
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you and a friend that probably has less to do with you and more to do with everything that they're trying
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to handle right now. I would say that
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it's okay to just take a step back from you feel like someone's negatively impacting you
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and then eventually come back to it later I'm like oh how're you feeling I noticed you seem like you might've
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been a little stressed. once you get that time to recharge for you maybe like a how
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can I help and they might end up being like oh I'm sorry I did not mean to be grumpy
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earlier or what not and take something out on you. yeah and
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I I think it's important to remember to put yourself first and
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that have encourage your friends put themselves first to and also have that conversation with them about caring
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for one another. yes exactly like you're still there for each other and
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you're there for yourselves and you're like even a tiny bit higher than everyone else in a way
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yes yeah yeah like just that tiny bit more like
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it's hard. it definitely is hard I'm fine on this campus are so many nice
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people you wanna open the door and hold it open for the ten extra second is yeah
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and it's definitely hard to be like okay wait a second I really wanna
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help my friend but I also need to help me and I think there's ways to do both. yeah and setting boundaries
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yeah um but yeah thank you so much for coming on here, of course
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yeah. I'm always open to talking about it. I think it's really important that the more
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we have open conversations about it more normal to come. yes. I think like at
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this time like this time we are living in now. very very
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good. I think things are heading in a good direction, yeah I think so too it's it's involving
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you see it or on social media and it's it's interesting to see the conversations
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that are taking place. I hope they continue on like a good direction. yeah
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yeah well I think you guys are listening this weeks episode and I hope to see you next week.
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the next week. thanks so much
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This is a machine transcription and is subject to error. Apologizes in advance.