[Show Intro] Jala Hey, thanks for coming! I'm glad you're here. Come on in! Everyone's out on the patio right now. Looks like a couple of people are in the garden. I can't wait to introduce you! Can I get you anything? [turned away] Hey folks, our new guest is here! [Intro music] 00:00.00 Jala Hello world and welcome to Jala-chan's Place. I'm your host Jala Prendes (she/her) and today I am joined by Matthew (he/him) who is co-host on Monster Dear Monster, also part of Fireheart Media! How are you doing today, Matthew? 00:16.35 Matthew I'm doing well it is a lovely gray day outside. Um I get to spend it inside talking today which is nice. 00:27.30 Jala Yay yay! Um, at least you're not outside in the yuck. Ah today it's very very windy outside like I was going to go for a run and then I went outside to just walk Pooh Bear and I was just like okay my eyes are just leaking nonstop nevermind. 00:43.50 Matthew No no. Ah. 00:45.15 Jala Never mind. We're just going to go to the gym and do indoor things today. Um I will I will reconsider that option. So yeah I wanted to give a shout out at the top of the episode to new patron Nick. Nick has been on this show before he is fantastic. He produces primarily stylish action gaming content over on Youtube at triplesmoon. You can also find him on Patreon for details about all he has to offer. So thank you Nick for being a patron of this show if you are interested in being a patron of this show and are. Um, production overall like between us and Monster Dear Monster you can find us on Ko Hyphen F I dot com slash fireheart media for extra goodies and stuff. Yes, ah, coffee does allow for monthly subscription. Patron. Type stuff just like Patreon does so check it out. Anyhow today we are going to be talking about pursuing your passions and hobbies. Yeah, and what the difference is between those 2 things because they are often confused. 01:50.61 Matthew And the difference. 01:59.00 Jala Um, most people think oh it's if I really find something really fun and enjoyable then that's kind of like my passion but really, that's not so much the case so before we get into that I will say I just kind of approached you Matthew and said Matthew I want you to be on the show about this topic and you're like okay I guess. 02:17.90 Matthew Ah, yeah, sure, Well let's do it. Ah. 02:23.45 Jala Yeah, yeah, so ah, tell folks What what kind of stuff you do. 02:28.24 Matthew Ah, yeah, um I Well it's it's kind of Hard. It's It's become a a branching thing The older I get um but I'm I'm a metal worker primarily. And primarily I work with recycled materials like almost 100% if I can get away with it. Um, because I worked in an industry for a very long time I was a machinist for a boy too long? Um, ah. 03:02.67 Matthew Going on almost twenty years now and I just saw the waste in that world and when I was a younger person recycled material was the only thing I could get my hands on to work with I didn't really grow up with a whole lot. So it was just scrap metal and things like that that I learned my trade on and then eventually it became wow look at how much is being wasted here and it became sort of ah but yeah, exactly what this is about it became a passion to transform sort of just the dregs. Of society into something more beautiful or useful again. That's a really long winded soapboxy way to say I make a lot of stuff out of scrap metal and I have a lot of fun doing it. 03:50.70 Jala Yeah,, that's absolutely Awesome. So folks who know who I am ah know that I am a person with many hats I do lots of different things with my time I am a personal trainer who also is an athlete I am a dancer I am a fine Arts painter. I am a podcaster for many years now going on a decade. At this point I'm also a writer I do all of these different things and they all kind of relate to the same thing which is my passion So My passion is in personal growth. And just constantly challenging myself so that I can reach a greater height. There is a quote that says that life begins outside your comfort zone and that is something that I find to be very very true and accurate like when you get too too comfortable with what you're doing. And you know what's going on in your life. You stagnate you kind of get into a rut and you know I just I'm constantly trying to find new waves to evolve myself. But I don't just evolve myself I Also want to take everybody else with me. 04:47.63 Matthew No absolutely half. 05:02.19 Jala And I want to kind of raise the level of the water for everyone across the board. So a lot of what I do is either about personal expression and personal growth that would be like the dancing and the like the training of my own body. And the ah artwork and the writing all of those things are my own expressions of myself and my own growth and personal training other people making this podcast and so on those things are things where I'm trying to. Disseminate this information that I've got these things that I'm studying this knowledge that I have I'm sharing that with other people so that I can provide to them the tools that they need in order to you know, get outside their own comfort zones examine themselves and see what they're all about and you know help them live live. You know Fuller lives. 06:00.35 Matthew Yeah that's ah, ah, there's a lot of artists I spend a lot of time in the art community. Um, local and online and um, one major philosophy in art is. If. It's not making you uncomfortable or think a thought that you haven't thought before it's not doing its job. Um, if you look at art that just reinforces your ideals or ideas that you've already have preconceived then you know just sereamir, you'd be fine over there but you want to do something that makes you uncomfortable. You want to do something that is is challenging but ah, ah, 1 of my favorite Simpsons quotes um a challenge you can do ah so you can grow and change from it and not just leave a perplexed person but leave hopefully a better person. 06:41.30 Jala Um, yeah, yeah. 06:47.45 Jala And see right there. The challenge you can do. The thing is I will look at the mountain and I will say okay I want to get to the top of that mountain right now I cannot physically do that thing. What are all the different things I need to do first like what's the groundwork I need to be laying for myself first and. 07:06.64 Jala I will start on that and work on that until I am climbing that mountain and I am over the top of that mountain and on to the next one so you know like part of that for me is not saying no to myself right? so so yeah like ah, let's start with a little bit of the. 07:24.78 Jala Usual research that I do for these topical episodes. We're going to talk about finding your passion. Whatever that may be research on this topic suggests that we need to understand 3 key things about passion passion is not something that somebody finds but it's something that you rather develop. Over time. It's something that is challenging to pursue. Especially if as it wanes over time and it also can lead us Astray. So it's important to recognize its limitations like your passions have a limit to them and. 08:00.71 Matthew That's so true. 08:03.99 Jala You know, like once once you reach a wall. What do you? do you know? and so these are all solid solid bits of things you know, solid bits of information to keep in mind when you're thinking about passions in general and not everybody has ah you're too passionate. 08:05.64 Matthew Yeah. 08:16.12 Matthew I was thinking I was thinking the other way where leading you astray as in like I know I I can overindulge and I will ignore things in my life to to get things done and ah yeah, also not great. 08:22.76 Jala Yeah, yes. 08:31.73 Jala Yeah, yeah, you can go it can swing either way for sure. So um, that's definitely something to keep in mind now like not everybody has a driving overarching passion in their life and that is totally fine like you know when when we're talking about this how to pursue your passion. It's all. 08:32.94 Matthew Yeah, yeah. 08:48.70 Jala So how to pursue like your hobbies and interests and other things that you enjoy. It's not necessarily just um about you know the overarching you know driving deep meaning of your life. You know. 08:59.37 Matthew I Have yeah. 09:02.60 Jala That kind of develops over time if it's going to develop and maybe you don't have one and maybe you never have 1 and that's fine. You don't need one. It's just if you do or if you don't this is how you can go on about your business. You know that's not work. You know anything but work. So. 09:15.52 Matthew Um, yeah, it's and it's definitely not like a a a binary. Um I think yeah I think like a lot of people perceive that either you're born with that drive or you're not. 09:20.65 Jala No, it's not. 09:29.97 Matthew And and some people view themselves as oh that's not for me and I'll never do that and they don't even want to try and that makes me a little sad that that still exists in the world. But um, it It isn't for everyone to just dump your entire heart onto something. But that doesn't mean it's not for you if you feel like that's missing from your life. 09:52.81 Jala Well and here's something that leads me into like the next bit of my research 1 common misperception that people have about passion is that it is a fixed trait. You have passion for something or you don't have passion for something and the problem with that is that it limits you. 10:10.36 Jala It leads you to think of passion as something that you discover or happen upon one day and research shows that believing passion is fixed can make people less likely to explore new topics. So it's literally the thing you just said so which means. 10:23.39 Matthew Yeah, yeah, well I get that I get that a lot. Um as you know, Ah, ah, sort of semi-prominent artist. Um, people come up to me all the time and say I wish I could do what you do you know? but I'm not this and I'm not that and. My answer is always I wasn't this either like I wasn't born like this. It's it's work. It's practice. It's you know you you can get there. It's not a fixed thing. Um and it doesn't It's it's yes, it requires you to be tenacious, but that's pretty much it. 10:55.19 Jala Passion a passion. Whatever your passion may be is a process. It's not an end goal. It is a process you are constantly evolving and changing and growing and it is that getting out of that comfort zone like. 11:10.61 Jala In that way. Passion itself is really like the driving force of my life passion is my passion. 11:14.65 Matthew Yeah, oh it. It's and it's obvious just knowing you for the short time that I've known you joll. Thank you were very passionate about many many things I wish I wish I could attack the world with the passion that you attack the world every day. 11:24.89 Jala Um, yeah, it's like I Well you know and I talked about this in the death Positivity episode I have ah come into contact with. And very very close contact with my own mortality on many occasions I've nearly died I've had cancer twice I mean like stuff has occurred in my life that makes me go you know I have one of these I don't know when I'm going to die I'm just going to live life to the fullest with all of my heart you know and that's that's kind of where I'm at and that's. 11:56.21 Jala You know my mantra So but um, yeah so thinking about it as a fixed thing means that you block yourself from exploring stuff that might be potential new sources of passion for you to develop so you prevent yourself from having passion by thinking of it as. And end goal rather than like a process of development and change you know and and it also leads people to give up on New pursuits more quickly if they seem difficult because they're like well I don't know that I have what it takes because you hear that a lot you know. 12:19.42 Matthew Yeah, it's the journey. Absolutely. 12:35.48 Jala And you know it's It's really that thing where it's like every time that you fail you are building up. It's kind of like playing a dark souls game right? like you are building up every time you fail in whatever it is. You're doing and you have to bang your head against it until you get past that thing and passion is like that you have to keep refining over and over again. It's like. 12:54.24 Jala You know, um japanese blade makers folding this you know, steel or whatever over and over and over thousands of times to refine it and having seen some old school japanese blades in person when I went to Japan oh my god I almost nutted myself looking at them because they're so beautiful and you know like that takes. 12:57.51 Matthew Yeah. 13:12.80 Matthew Ah, they are amazing. 13:13.91 Jala And that takes you know a ah level of devotion and practice and just endless grinding. Really, it's grinding I don't like grinding in video games but I like actually grinding in life just fine. 13:20.21 Matthew Yeah, it is the grind the grind in life is real and my old man used to say to me like when I was getting frustrated when I was Young. He tell me experience is what you get when you don't get what you want and I have just carried that with me my whole life. Because when something went wrong or when something fails on me I'm like he would always say to me what did you learn and I would have to sit there and say okay I learned how to do this I learned how to do that and goes like okay, apply it for the next one you know the next thing you're making this is what you have to do and that's that's how you do it. That's practice. That's that's the passion right? There. That's that's how you hone hone yourself and so failure is it? Yeah, exactly like dark souls teaches you to be a better player. Not just to have a more powerful avatar but a more powerful person on the other side of that game. It is like that in real life. The grind is real. You got a grind. 14:17.62 Jala Um, yep. 14:19.22 Matthew And in unfortunately in smithing you actually have to grind and boys boring. But. 14:24.32 Jala Ah, yeah, well, it's like in in drawing you know you have to do how many just constant gesture drawings and just practicing doing the same thing over and over again and how many times are you drawing hand you get like a whole book full of nothing but hands if you're drawing hands and trying to learn and study that and. 14:29.99 Matthew Yeah. 14:42.72 Jala God It's a lot of just endless you know junk before you get to the good stuff you know and that's just how it is and you know even when you get to spending a lot of time on pieces. You can spend a lot of time on something and that that does not mean that the thing that comes out on the other side is going to be worth a a damn you know might be complete trash. But. 14:57.79 Matthew Yeah. 15:02.33 Jala You will find something that you have learned from that process. so so yeah ah focusing on what you care about? Not what's fun is a suggestion that is made about finding your passion because a Harvard business review found that those who believed. 15:20.48 Jala Pursuing passion meant following what brings 1 joy were less likely to be successful in the pursuit of passion and were more likely to quit nine months down the line than those who believed following passion was focusing on what one cares about it seems that our belief in our passion ah helps. Weather the challenges that are part of that pursuit because you know at some point even if you really are passionate about something boy I really want to just grow and and evolve and change you get tired. You get overwhelmed. You have other things on your plate. 15:51.34 Matthew Um, yeah Burnout is real. 15:54.27 Jala Yeah, you run out of inspiration and you know you're hitting a wall and you have to figure out what you're doing you know like how are how are you going to keep going once the inspiration goes away right. 16:03.60 Matthew Yeah, and in the modern world I mean as loath as I am to say it a lot of people monetize their passions and when that revenue stream dries up they feel like they're done. Ah, they feel like you know or it becomes no longer a thing of love because you are making money on it and ah that is also I think one of the largest ah forms of burnout that I see among fellow creatives is um. Either not having enough money to do what they actually want to be doing in their free time or ah, their their passion becoming their job and it you get burned out. It's you know you can't eat cake all day. Um that you're going to get sick. 16:50.33 Jala Yeah, case in point um I was gallery represented fine Arts painter for a number of years and I also would take commissions and the problem with being a fine arts painter and taking commissions is that everybody comes to you and says. 17:06.22 Jala Would like you to paint this person from this photo realistically in oil paint I would like you to paint this dog realistically in oil paint. What's my favorite medium not oil. What do I like to paint realistically sometimes but not all the time most of the time I am doing. 17:23.92 Jala More expressive styles and brighter color palettes than all of that you know so like after I did that 1 huge lord of the rings painting of like the shattering of the ring or the sword narscel and the shattering of narsel after that happened. 17:26.47 Matthew Oh yeah. 17:43.45 Jala Um, and that took forever after I finished that commission I was like I'm not taking commissions again I have really not done very much sketching or painting or anything after that and that's granted because among other things. There were other factors going on in my life and my parents' health and things and my passion kind of shifted its you know permutation over to like a different form for a while but like I kind of cycle through different ah ways of of edencing my passion and pursuing it. So You know it just kind of became. Okay, well that one's dropping off now because I totally burned out on that One. We're going to do this Instead. You know so. 18:26.44 Matthew Yeah, ah learning to turn down commissions that don't thrill you if you if you ever have the luxury to do that feels very powerful and makes you feel very good because sometimes you're just like you know what? no I don't think I'm going to do that I don't need that right Now. Don't need that hassle in my life. 18:46.99 Jala Yeah, yeah for sure now like I will say I was really excited about doing that commission at the start. It's just like and and you know like it was great and um, you know like I I had a fine time. 18:53.23 Matthew I'm sure. Yeah, no it all seems great in the beginning. 19:02.27 Jala Doing the work. But after that I was like I think I'm done for a while because I'm just sick of doing realism and you know like I just kind of again other life stuff happened. But yeah I'd like I had to set it down for a while I'm like okay well I'm getting that urge again to start drawing and painting. But it's not going to be realistic right? At first. It's going to be like lots of expressive stuff before I decide I want to go back into realism again. so so yeah um passion is only linked to better performance when a others agree with what 1 is passionate about and b. 19:23.62 Matthew Yeah. 19:37.64 Jala When passion is expressed in an appropriate context. So like this is in like a work setting kind of thing employees described as passionate were more likely to be exploited by others because they were seen as enjoying their work more yeah and in Hpr's studies more passionate employees were more likely to be overconfident. 19:57.52 Jala Therefore less likely to seek the feedback and information necessary to succeed So you're so confident you think this idea you have is the most brilliant idea ever in life and so you don't get the feedback nor are you receptive to that feedback if it is at all criticizing. 20:17.18 Jala Anything that you're doing which that's the point of feedback is to give you that criticism so that you can refine your end product right? so. 20:25.27 Matthew Yeah, and that making it your job like I said it really throws a wrench into things that you actually enjoy doing for a living now. Um I make high-end lighting and furniture for a very good company. Um, that restructured right when they hired me. And under their old structure if they found out you were good at something that was your job all day every day. So if you were good at antiquing brass to make it look you know old or green or you know whatever the kind of Antique. They're going for. You're going to be over that acid tank all day antiquing Brass. So the. 21:00.24 Matthew Employees had learned. Do not show that you like anything because you'll be forced to do it all day and once I started working there I helped change that corporate attitude is like hey everybody gets to do everything we get to do you know we? we're a totally different shop now. Um, it's. 21:02.11 Jala Yeah, yeah. This. Who who. 21:19.21 Matthew This little little Bohemian kind of place Now. Ah, but yeah because it just it. It sucked the life out of everyone there. No one wanted to be active or engaged because you know ah at the end of the day money was involved and the people in Charge. Ah, we're only looking at that and we're not looking at you know the loves and passions of the artists that they had working for them. 21:43.50 Jala Right? right? And definitely there is an upcoming episode of the show that we'll be talking about unpacking capitalist brain and some of that is like the moment you're talking about this. It's like yeah because like especially there are a lot of people who. 22:00.45 Jala They will get suckered into just going along with that because they're like my worth is so intrinsically tied to my production value. Ah that because capitalism that. 22:07.74 Matthew Yeah. 22:13.48 Jala I will subject myself to this and subject myself to all that burnout and all the rest that you know the discontent that comes along with all of this and suffer through because capitalism capitalist brain. So you know that'll be ah, another subject another day. But yes, um for sure that's whenever money is involved with the thing. 22:32.57 Jala And it's not even like oh ah, you're making money on it now and then it's no longer fun. Sometimes it's the opposite. Sometimes you try to monetize on something. It doesn't pan out monetarily and then you think you have no worth because nobody is paying you. Because I've seen lots of people do that too and it's just like they don't have the audience. They don't have the reach. They don't have the exposure to get paid what they are worth for the thing that they are Producing. You know they don't have the right eyes on it. You know? So. So yeah, but yeah, a passion. 22:58.82 Matthew Um, exactly yeah. 23:05.46 Jala Is not necessarily something that is unfun. It definitely can be a fun thing and you know hobbies can roll into all of that as well. But um, if you don't know what you might be passionate about and you're wondering if you have a passion you can examine what is important to you. 23:08.62 Matthew I have. 23:25.50 Jala And you can also ask people that you care about that know you like family and friends like hey if you were to say I had a passion. What would that be? What do you think I am passionate about just like from over there, you know from what you know of me and see what they tell you and take that into consideration and try it on you know. 23:44.91 Jala So And again like you may not be able to think of anything other people may not be able to think of anything and that's Fine. You can pursue your interests and see if you can cultivate a passion along the way if that's something you want to do otherwise have fun. Do the things that interest you do the things that are fun for you and you know just enjoy your life. Ultimately what it is about is doing what feels right to you? What fulfills you? so. 24:09.16 Matthew Yeah, do the things that bring you joy. That's I mean it can't be better advice than that. 24:14.73 Jala Yeah, for sure so we covered like what we're passionate about so what did your passion look like Matthew when it started. 24:25.38 Matthew Oh wow um, ah, let me ah Harken you back a long long time ago. So very young, ah tiny baby mat sitting in a big pile of legos. Um I would. Scatter them on the floor three hundred and sixty degrees around me so I could see every piece at once I'm a very visual inventory kind of person and I would make everything um, just that we we would. Ah. We would get ah most of our toys from like Goodwill and stuff like that. So I never knew what kind of legos would come to the house. Um, so I would just be making everything and my dad saw oh you know this kid loves this and um, eventually got me like erector sets and more permanent things. And I was like ah this is cool but I always have to take them apart and you know they're less permanent than I want them to be and so I was immediately like drawn to ah metalworking. Um I had some great uncles that were machinists at the time and I loved their shops and I loved what they were doing. Cut to me 11 years old sitting in a pile of scrap steel around me in all directions because I'm a visual inventory person and my uncle teaching me how to migw weld at 11 years old um and I still have the first sculpture I ever made it sits by my fireplace right now. It's this weird little aardvark. 25:47.15 Matthew Looking guy I made from pieces I pulled out of his ah he had a huge steel bandsaw I just pulled out of the scrap in and I made it that day and yeah, no, no I have no idea. 25:54.42 Jala So do you have aardvarks up there I don't know where aardvarks live. Okay. 26:03.26 Matthew It's It's what he called it I don't know what it was it just kind of has like a shock of hair made out of wire in these little legs and I found a nice piece of rebar to make a spine and a tail. Um, it's just it's a very silly, very cute amateur effort. Obviously yeah, yes I. 26:20.46 Jala Picks picks or if it is yeah I will I will also put like the picture of that if you don't mind and then also some of like your more recent work or like linked to your more recent work. Um in the show notes for people so they can see what you do. 26:22.80 Matthew I will I will send you pictures. Um. 26:27.58 Matthew Um, sure. Sure. Yeah, yeah, so then I came home. Ah, this was out in Minnesota. Um, and I was living in um, like north the north country New York which is like up on the Canadian Border um so come home and I'm still like I want to continue doing this and um, a few months later. Ah, one of my great uncles unfortunately passed away. Um and ah, most of his machinery got sold off but I got his welder. Um. 54 Chicago welding company welder very old. It's actually in a wooden box like it's built a welder that is built into a wooden box that you plug in different terminals to get different heats on the wire and um I learned how to weld on that. 27:23.88 Matthew Stick welding is not easy. It is not easy for a twelve year old to do but ah I had his asbestos helmet that my dad made me put a clear coat of lacquer over so it wouldn't get dusty. Um, and yeah, that was just me out in the garage. Ah. 27:39.95 Matthew Welding whatever I could find I would walk the railroad tracks to find railroad spikes and any other iron I could find to make anything I could and all through middle school and all through high school I kept you know doing stuff to build that that. That hobby I mowed lawns for a whole summer to get an angle grinder so I could cut and form seal better I you know worked my first job to to get you know? Um, it was ah better better welding gear better goggles better leathers. All that stuff. Ah. And when I finished high school my dad was you know I was a troubled kid. Um I didn't do very well in school. But my dad was like you build, you're going to trade school. Um, and so he found me a trade school in Utica New York Mohawk Valley community um where I went for a year and learned machining. 28:36.10 Matthew Ah, and then I came home and ah there were no machine jobs in town at the time because it was 2006 it was right before the economic crisis. Um, and so I'm looking everywhere I got a job as a steelworker where I learned how to like officially weld got welding certs I was thirty feet in the air. 28:43.80 Jala The head. 28:54.48 Matthew With a 45lb bag of tools on my hip welding and doing hot riveting and assembling structures and I just pulled everything I could from these jobs to bring it home and to add it to my art and then from then I found a job in a machine shop. 29:14.26 Matthew And then I was machinist you know I only worked steel for like a summer or 2 and then I was a machinist from then on making high precision stuff down to you know the tenths of thousandths of an inch. Um I made stuff for. Ah, snowmaking machines I made stuff for military submarines I made stuff for experimental lightning test facilities. Um I've just I've made everything I could anything that came in that shop I said yes, absolutely will make that and um, ah my my searchts were in manual machining. So i. 29:48.91 Matthew Did it all by hand and then I learned cnc on the job. So I could do the computer aided things like that and ah, but the whole time I was taking everything home with me all of that information. All that knowledge in applying it to my art and I've been lucky to I've been with my partner for almost twenty years now um, we met in middle school and ah they have supported me through this whole journey. Um, and everywhere we moved 1 We'd always have an extra bedroom that would be a dedicated workshop. So I'd have a place to. You know make my smaller sculptures or my soldering sculptures or things like that and then as we moved up we would start renting houses that had garages and things like that and I put them through grad school and ah we moved up to Vermont so they could finish up their master's degree. Um, let's see here over five years ago now and I worked at a machine shop up here and I was just miserable. The shop was really bad run by some terrible people and I would just come home like kind of deject it every day and I was doing less and less and they said to me hey you put me through all this school. 31:04.15 Matthew Go do something you love now and that's when I got the job where I'm currently working and ah I've just been flourishing ever since my new job has taught me finishing which is something I never did before all my sculptures just be very raw and just sort of like open to the elements and now paint. And lacquer and antiquing and polishing and all of that stuff I'm learning current. You know I've have learned and have incorporated into my my current stuff and now we have you know or established nice little home of Vermont I've got a full metal shop I've got a smithy here. Ah, it's just It's been in the background my whole life and now it is in the foreground of my life because I just kept that fire going. Um, yeah, that that's it. That's the journey. Ah. 31:48.90 Jala Yeah that's awesome. Cool cool, cool. So my journey kind of goes all over the board. The first thing that I think is relevant to my passions in the first place. There's 2 things 1 ah my sister and I would always lay down at night. And sit together in the dark and tell each other stories or we would read books to each other. So I've been telling stories back and forth to people as kind of a bonding experience sharing a narrative sharing an experience is always very very important to me. Ah there's that which is why this podcast makes a lot of sense right? because we're having conversations we're engaging with each other on a topic like sharing this experience as we go. So there's that and there's also the fact that I would write constantly I wrote stories all the time The first thing that there was for me was writing. 32:23.12 Matthew Um, yeah, yeah. 32:40.77 Jala And as I wrote because I am a selfdriven and very individualistic person I don't like to rely on other people for things so I took up artwork as a way to illustrate my stories illustrate What I was writing and express. Some of the ideas I had in my mind that I could write you know prose about or poetry about but like I wanted to be able to show it physically to other people how it looked in my mind so that's when I took up and start started just drawing and taught myself how to draw. 33:17.36 Jala And was drawing constantly for years and years starting to dabble in different media and then when I went to college I ended up going to college for painting and I was a fine arts painter who was also in the honors program because that makes a lot of sense so you know like I graduated with honors but with a fine arts degree because okay. 33:36.26 Jala But um, you know I experimented with a bunch of different media and all of that as a way again like the whole time I was still writing writing writing and also working on all these different types of artwork I dabbled in stuff from comics because of course comics appeal to me as someone who also writes you know. 33:55.29 Jala Later on in 13 I started writing my own comic say lamore which I mentioned on the last episode as well and it is a comic that I started just as like part of a course it was like the end project for a course was to write your own short comic and so I was like oh cool. I can write this little vignette that I wrote you know like it started as a vignette like a little Half-p page thing then I turned it into just a little short. You know 10 page or whatever comic and then when I shared that with people they were like where's the rest and where's the next part of it when are you going to release the next part. So like I ended up writing several more parts and working on that. 34:33.88 Jala And unfortunately I put myself under like this one page every week ah regimen which is way too fast way too fast and so the artwork suffered in the actual product. You know that I was coming out with. 34:38.17 Matthew Oh wow, That's a that's a lot for a comic. Yeah. The hair. 34:50.75 Jala Even if the story like I was able to turn out the story and get the the layouts in everything and the color bounces because it's got 3 colors. It's got red black and white. It's all done by hand and so like all of that was fine but like the end artwork I needed more time to refine it and I wasn't giving myself that time. So. 35:09.10 Jala I ended up stopping that project after I released um the prologue and then 3 other chapters of it and I just put it on hold for some indeterminate amount of time but then I ended up getting cancer I ended up doing and like with my parents started having health issues and so on and like. 35:26.11 Matthew Um, life happens. Oh yeah. 35:27.60 Jala Yeah, like life snowballed after that and I just never did get back to that project so like at this point I've already kind of started talking about maybe resurrecting that project but giving myself more time and either doing it as primarily prose with just illustrations that I spend a bunch of time on or. Doing the comic again but taking more time to read design the whole thing and you know spend more time with it as I go so I don't know if that's going to happen I'm also talking about possibly resurrecting a writing project that I had called aplesia and that might happen. Um. That is something that I thought about doing as short form audio plays as like for one of the subscription tiers on Kofi so that might be a thing that comes out eventually I might be doing like audiobook style reads of short form fiction. 36:21.34 Jala Like different installments of this creepy horror ish but like it's mostly psychological horror kind of thing. Um, so that might be a thing that I do in the future stay tuned for more about that. But somewhere in there I also started doing like because um. Part of my whole drive is you know, improving the self right? So like I was doing all of these creative projects but like physically I wasn't happy with myself. So I started learning about you know how to better take care of myself I overhauled my lifestyle I became a personal trainer and nutrition specialist and so. I started taking all of that into account because if you are tired all the time if you are not strong enough physically to do some of the things you want to do then that limits you and so that was kind of like part of my perspective of how am I going to pursue my passions was I have to take care of myself first. 37:17.20 Jala I have to have this as the groundwork to be able to build on so how am I going to do that. Well I'm going to do these things and that's when I overhold my life and that's when I also became a personal trainer and I have trained people off and on for the last decade so were probably longer than that. Um 15 crap. 15 years now. So. 37:38.33 Matthew Ah, you did it the smart way. Mine was for years was like I'll just take an adderall and 2 monster energy drinks and I'm just going to work for 18 hours straight and then I'll be dead for a week um but I'll I'll have made something insane at the end of no. 37:48.29 Jala Yeah, right? Well so so you know like part part of the thing is is that the way that I approach everything I'm always doing like okay let me do this step back. Let me see the bigger picture. How do I get there. 37:54.74 Matthew You're doing it the smart way. Ah. 38:07.59 Jala What do I need as the foundation before I can even set my foot down and start walking in that direction and I am very analytical and I will break it down to like the small things and it might be something that takes me years to get to but I will get there. So so you know I did that I started doing all the physical stuff the physical training. 38:27.25 Jala Also became part of how I refined myself and how I challenged myself and you know when I got into doing like endurance events and I was doing like 18 hour long you know stuff grueling events. It was a way for me to kind of reset my brain and burn through. All of the emotions and worries that I had from my parents being hospitalized or this other chaotic thing happening or this thing at work or whatever all of that burns away when you are forced to keep stepping one foot in front of the other out in the middle of nowhere hauling all of this weight. 38:58.46 Matthew I am. 39:02.15 Jala You know, um, there was one point I was doing ah an event and um, this is a little bit gross. So if people don't want to hear this skip ahead about 30 seconds so there was an event I was doing it was the middle of summer I had like £35 on my back. It was a 50 k running you know thing that I was rucking actually. Was the only person with a rucksack. Ah and I didn't have a change of shoes. It was hot sweaty I got bad blisters and I didn't have a change of shoes anything to do like not a blister kit on me nothing so I had to stop pull my foot out of there. Take the back of my earring and. 39:38.87 Jala Pop the blisters with that put my my raw foot back into the wet sock into the wet shoe and keep going when you're doing that kind of thing and you're like starting to get like major dehydration even though you are hydrating and taking salt pills like you're just you're so hot that you just you can't you know? um. Do anything about that and you still have to go because you have no choice suddenly nothing else seems so bad and so it was kind of like my therapy for dealing. Yeah it puts it all in perspective. So So even. 40:02.19 Matthew Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, he put it in perspective doesn't it. 40:12.58 Jala And that started to be like a big thing for me and then you know after having podcast on the level for so many years the video game podcast that I've been doing with duckfeed. It was like but I want to say so much more I want to tell people more things I want to share. These things that I'm I'm researching these things that I'm studying and learning about and you know the ways in which I'm growing and I want to have these conversations so that people can benefit from Them. You know I I don't want to just grow on unto myself I want other people to grow too. Yeah. 40:42.36 Matthew Yeah, no reason to pull the ladder up behind you you know? Ah yeah, definitely sharing sharing in an experience is is great whenever whenever whenever you can do it like where where I currently work. Um I mean pre Pandemic It was a lot easier to do and now we're looking to get back into it. 40:49.34 Jala Yeah. 41:00.14 Matthew Um, but we'll take ah a couple interns. We call them interns from like ah the local schools that have kids who were like me growing up who are kind of like it's the last school you go to before you aren't allowed to go to school anymore. Um, and ah, you know and I'll show them that they can have a life and they can. 41:19.75 Matthew Pursue something without college you know and because I don't want to you know I'm not having kids anytime soon. So I don't really you know want to keep all of this knowledge locked up in my head forever for just me I really would like to See. You know more generations and more people use it and I feel like you're of the same mindset. You don't want to just keep all that that and well I mean passion is the word for this, you don't want to keep that passion all locked up just for yourself. You Ah yeah, get it out there for everybody. It's it's better for the community. 41:49.56 Jala Yeah, and that actually segues into the next section of stuff we have to talk about So let's talk about finding our community. So some suggestions look to your Heroes people that you admire who do the thing that you are passionate about follow those people. 41:55.73 Matthew Um, oh yeah. 42:08.38 Jala And ah if they're on the internet that is like don't follow them in real life. That's kind of creepy. No, but ah, you know see who they follow see who they hang out with or chit chat with who do they work with learn more about those people and you know start. 42:23.34 Jala Reaching out talking to those folks and you know like not everybody's going to be receptive, but some folks usually most of the time if you're talking about something. They are also passionate about they are more than happy to set up some kind of feedback system be that like a monetary one. You know like a more formal. 42:40.74 Jala Student teacher kind of situation or if they just give you advice or whatever like they're usually pretty pretty receptive to that unless they're just so busy. They just don't have time depends on what hero you're talking about like if you're a starting out actor and you're looking at Hollywood that's not going to be a good fit. Yeah. 42:59.72 Matthew I'll give you also the advice if you're doing this in the art world out Ego is a real thing. Um I had a extremely bad experience with someone who I looked up to quite a bit because turns out they're a real jerk. Um, and I got like ah. Ah, special pass and stuff to go meet them at like an at an art show and stuff and I you know was very excited to talk to them about their latest piece and stuff and they just you know wanted nothing to do with anything because I was no one. Um, so yeah, meeting your Heroes is is I mean you know they always say don't do it. 43:37.60 Matthew But I will counterbalance that with online. Ah sometimes you just send a tweet to someone who is making something beautiful a current person I'm going to absolutely shout out shout out is a felon named Jeff the boer he is in Alberta canada I believe. Um, he has been a National Geographic Magazine he makes armor for mice and cats. Um, it's beautiful hand chase stuff. It's he makes jewelry as well. That is the mouse and cat armor. It's very yes yes I I will definite I will definitely send it like in this guy cool as hell. 44:06.16 Jala Send me send me a link. We're putting it in the show notes. 44:15.53 Matthew Um, I just commented on something that he made I asked a question about what kind of brass he was using if he was using deadsoft or there's different kinds of materials that you can use for this and he just gave me this full runth through and he's like I love when people ask questions? whatever. And then he went through on my page and started liking things from like two years ago and now and now we talk regularly me and this dude who is in national geographic have an ongoing dialogue about how each of our projects are going. So. 44:36.17 Jala Oh that's so cool. Ah. 44:42.99 Jala That is so Awesome. It's always great when you find people like that and I've definitely found folks like that as well. I've had mentors in the comic world who've won like Eisner awards and stuff like that and very. Folks from like the video game sphere or you know like the fine Arts sphere and things like that who have like you know taught me things or taken the time and it's really awesome I mean like I even got a refer a referral for that lord of the rings painting by a watercolor artist that I really. 45:15.63 Jala Like the work from who does like super realistic watercolor stuff and he was like well I tend to do like nature stuff I don't This is not my bag but you I think would be a good fit and you know passed off this client of his over to me. 45:32.39 Jala So that was very cool. 45:32.58 Matthew Oh Wow, that's amazing. Yeah see so it's it's it's the Heroes you find you know the community that you you choose to pursue and and people who want community will reach out I mean that's how you found me, you just like were like hey. Ah. Like the stuff that you do would you like to come hang out in my discord and I'd be like sure and yeah now hang out with your husband every week. So yeah. 45:50.50 Jala Yeah, and then you we you like ended up On. You know one of the podcasts regularly and then now you're guessing on this one. So yeah, So that's a thing. But yeah, so. I Would also say like other things you can do. You can also look for other people who are doing the thing that you are doing you know like maybe not necessarily like hero level but like other folks who are working on the same kinds of things that you work on this can be online via forums. 46:09.61 Matthew Yes. 46:20.62 Jala And online communities or social media. This can also be in-person by looking for organizations associated with your passion workshops and classes events and events spaces link up with these folks and find other people who are doing. What you're doing and make those connections because you can learn from each other and you never know who's going to be like a solid bro. You know. 46:40.38 Matthew Yeah, oh yeah, ah, a staple of it's probably ah, a worldwide thing but growing up. Um there were guys who had the hangout shop. Um, ah I had a very good friend Adam weeks who had the hangout shop. Out in line Mount New York he built motorcycles and you would just show up whenever you wanted or leave whenever you wanted and and as long as you were working on the projects there. You would be taught. You'd be shown how to go through everything there and you know it was just a great place to hang out with friends learn and build. And I've tried to cultivate that here I'm in the middle of nowhere. So I get less people coming out here than he had but ah there are absolutely spaces out there for pretty much anything you want to do there are music spaces. There's painting spaces. There's pottery spaces. Um, once you get kind of clicked in with your community. There's always someone who's like oh yeah, I've got all this stuff at this place. We should all hang out and um, it's fantastic. I highly recommend it. 47:42.20 Jala Yeah, and like even now even though I haven't been making art actively for a while I'm always still every week or every time they do it extended the invite to go to sessions which is like a local meetup group for artists who just come to like a bar or whatever and they just. Everybody comes in chills and does their doodling or their sculpture or whatever you just bring your crap with you and do whatever you're doing and then they also basically put a big bunch of butcher paper up on the wall and then everybody can just draw on the wall and add to like this giant yeah giant mural every time. It's super cool. 48:11.83 Matthew Oh that's great. 48:18.48 Jala And I have not been ah, partially because pandemic stuff. Um, because they only more recently started it back up, but it's been kind of slower. Ah for you know my family to get to the point where we're okay without masks and everything. So um, you know like I have not gone. But. 48:22.41 Matthew Um, yeah. 48:34.85 Jala You know since I'm starting to get back into that phase of wanting to do more artwork again and wanting to sit down with all of my water media on the floor and just play. Um, it's feeling like okay, well once I get back into doing some rough sketches and stuff like that. Maybe I'll I'll pop up at a discussions and surprise the hell out of. The old timers that have been there for a long Time. You know? So. So yeah, um, ah you already kind of talked about like how you found your community for me. It's just like around town I would go to art shows just go to stuff like go to poetry readings or. 49:04.12 Matthew Yeah, go to stuff. 49:07.83 Jala You know, writing workshops or whatever. Go go see where you know wherever people are doing live drawing stuff if you're an art person. You know like there's usually open jam sessions for belly dance. They still have like belly dance open jam night at various places where if I want to go back and do belly dance Again. I can pop up and just you know come for a jam session and just hang out with folks and do my thing you know so you know there's all different kinds of things like that around you just have to look for them and again hooking up with some of those people that are in your area that are offering classes or doing whatever like that's the best way to find what's happening where. 49:44.79 Jala And you know how to get to those places and meet those people. So yeah, so let's move along to honing your skills. Yeah, so for me, a lot of it is study study study study study study reading up on my chosen pursuits. 49:45.61 Matthew Yeah, absolutely. 50:04.69 Jala Ah, taking courses in workshops and anything I can because especially when it comes to writing and art and other kinds of self-expression. Ah those things you you have your own certain voice. But if you go to like a workshop or a class. So often you meet so many different people with different perspectives and different voices and even if those voices don't stick with you over time like you're adding to your vocabulary. You're giving yourself a broader repertoire of things to work with and tools to use and. You know things to keep in mind and it challenges you to get outside of your own box of how you do the thing to do it a different Way. So of course practicing regardless of whether your passion is a physical interpersonal or mental skill. It has to be practiced in order to improve. 50:55.38 Jala And I say like mental skill because like you know if you are if your your thing is very cerebral. You know you like to think through a thing and do whatever you like you have to practice that neural pathway to strengthen it you know, ah you have to right? you have to seek avenues to enact your passion as part of your daily living. 51:05.31 Matthew Yes, absolutely. 51:14.42 Jala This can look like sitting down to draw every day like me like I used to do ah I'm going to sit every morning with my coffee wake up extra early and sit for an extra hour in the morning with my coffee and just have coffee and draw for an hour and that would be like sketch time or volunteering with a nonprofit if the thing that you you know are. 51:32.84 Jala Passionate about involves some kind of nonprofit. There's basically a nonprofit for everything so I'm sure there's 1 involved you know, ah training for a physical goal you have or whatever, whatever your thing is. There's a way you can practice that and incorporate that on your day-to-day life so you can also seek feedback. 51:37.42 Matthew Oh yeah, oh yeah. 51:52.77 Jala Asking people who are both part of your passion community and also outside of your passion community for their honest critiques that's important because people inside your passion community have you know is a very specific certain feedback but you also need to see what what does it look like from the outside you know when you're not like an innerinnertube 52:12.90 Jala Person you know so it's only through receiving that feedback and shoring up our weak points that we can reach new heights you have to be able to be receptives to that criticism. Honestly, analyze that criticism and take that in a constructive format. 52:14.42 Matthew Ah, yeah. 52:29.67 Jala Forward in your life Now you will get critiques that are just somebody's being bitter. Somebody's being shitty to you but it's true, but like be able to sit with that and parse the difference between the two I have definitely ah like on my appearances on the level. 52:35.24 Matthew That does happen. Yes. 52:48.58 Jala There was this one guy who was saying something about like in in his review of the level I don't like it whenever jaw is on because she's always trying to one up everybody and I was like I don't even know what that means So like I saw that and I went to the guys and I'm like guys do I Do this thing you know like to my fellow co-hosts I'm like do I. 53:06.48 Jala Seriously do this because if I do I don't have a problem shifting stuff if if I'm coming off this way and that's really how how it is and all of them were like oh no, that guy is just being misogynist and I'm like ok well I just wanted to check? Yeah yeah. 53:20.23 Matthew Yeah,, let them go Yeah my ah most trusted and absolute harshest critic is my partner they will straight up tell me when something is bad. Ah and that's why I love them and trust them and you need to.. That's that's the thing I had to learn was to accept when like ah yeah I can see that this isn't working and I can see why this because they are ah a sciences person so it is the outside. 53:52.13 Matthew Of You know any any of like I'm like oh well I was going for this sort of you know, whatever artists I'm trying to Compel or this dynamic or whatever and they're like no it just looks really bad for me or look at this and I'll be like oh yeah, no, it does it does. And then I'll I'll like rethink it and I'll go back to it and I'll ultimately make something better. Um, but ah learning to be okay with your okayness I think that's another simpsons quote there I got to stop doing that. Um is. 54:20.10 Jala You do you? It's fine. But. 54:22.99 Matthew Yeah, it's it's ah it's It's a very important part of the process is um, ah incorporating Criticism Yeah, but not living on it because rebuking it is also a lot of fun. So yeah. 54:39.45 Jala Yeah, yeah, so another thing to think about is ah possibly finding a mentor. Ah this can be again like a formal relationship where you are a student who is paying an instructor for you know, whatever they're doing for you. 54:57.80 Jala Um, or this can just be like somebody who is a mentor who kind of takes you under their wing and you're just friends but like you know with this person who has like this greater skill set or whatever than you do,? Um, you know this can look like. Me getting a personal trainer if you will if I'm trying to lean into the physical stuff that kind of thing and yes, I'm a personal trainer but personal trainers also have trainers like there's no end to it. You know you must always be a perpetual student. You know. 55:25.29 Matthew Um, yeah, as ah as a machinist of my sanding I've had over a dozen apprentices at this point and um, yeah, you get to pass on a ton but that's also great for if if the mentor is good. They are also learning from you. Um, because again you are you are getting to see something from someone's eyes who is seeing it for the first time and that is an invaluable experience that you don't get to experience yourself again. So the good mentors. Ah they they change your life. Um. 55:50.15 Jala Yeah, yeah. 55:58.18 Matthew They will help you to see things the way that you should but also encourage you to see things the way that you do And yeah I can't I can't speak enough that having having a mentor is is ah a big reason I'm I'm still doing what I'm doing. 56:12.54 Jala Absolutely so how is it that you yourself hone your skills you have a mentor so what else? What? what? What else? do you? do you hone your skills by teaching other people that's a very good 1 56:21.40 Matthew Ah, yeah, that said, yeah, that the best advice teaching others is is a great way for yourself to conceptualize and finally understand on like a molecular level what you're doing. Um. I did ah some a walkthrough for some students the other day where I did a plasma cutting demonstration and I had to like go through and be like wait. What is plasma and just like just go back all the way back to the science of it and. I just like in refreshing myself I'm like oh this is it and like all the pieces started to fit even better and now like I could just snap that off that lesson no problem because it all clicks and makes sense teaching is an an amazing way to hone your skills. Um, but I really think um. Speaking I mean as a machinist someone who has made lots of 10000 of the same part that are like perfectly measured accurate to themselves I think a great way to hone a skill is repetition studies in art is obviously you know repetition you are drawing the same thing over and over again. 57:30.65 Matthew And getting slightly slightly better at it every time as a blacksmith I know when I first started swinging my hammer I had no control I had no aim I didn't really know where I was drawing the steel and when I was done everything had lumps in it and hammer marks and now when I work there's. Barely any hammer marks left in the piece when I'm done because I have swung that hammer countless amount of times I think repetition is really really the the way to do it. 58:00.34 Jala Yeah, yeah for sure. So for me how do I hone my skills I usually study study study like I'm always reading books all the time constantly I'm already like um I think it's like forty forty to 45 books in. 58:12.29 Matthew Yeah, you and Dave read an inhuman amount of books I'm guessing. That's why you're both so tired. You are just like reading in your sleep I don't know how you do it I guess yeah. 58:23.85 Jala We're Sponges. We just absorb everything. So But yeah, like I read a lot of nonfiction and I am reading a lot of nonfiction about various topics. So like I'm constantly reading and the thing is is that um this doesn't hone a specific skill. This is honing everything like again, it's kind of raising the general level of the water for me as a person because I am learning so many different things and having like a baseline of understanding about various topics in a way to um, formulate. 58:58.17 Jala Good conversation off of these topics right? So um, you know like that that means I can relate to a bunch of different topics because I have some kind of familiarity. So there's that when it comes to a specific thing though like dance I go to workshops I take classes I look online for stuff. 58:59.40 Matthew Yeah, yeah. 59:16.59 Jala I try to work on my own choreographies for a while when I was really doing a lot of poll I would do floorflow choreographies that I could practice at home because I didn't have a poll at home at that time and you know like I just would so work on a choreography that was started in a class and take what was already done from that class like 1 minute choreography And then expand it to be the 4 minutes or whatever that the actual song is and drill it drill it drill it until I come up with a finished product and in doing that and in having to do like the choreography itself I learn more intimately you know what types of dance do I like best What what elements am I wanting this to you know. 59:55.40 Jala Ah, contain and all of that same thing with art. It's going to workshops doing a lot of practicing just lot of practicing on all of it always practicing taking workshops taking classes looking at stuff online. You know, always getting like a new influx of different styles. Different modes of expression different. You know, material just to work with and just seeing what's out there and constantly experimenting with it especially with painting when I really started to in my opinion get to the point where I was beginning to Blossom was I kept on trying different media different media I had never used before. 01:00:31.75 Matthew Yeah, yeah. 01:00:33.71 Jala And just trying a different format or a different media or a size difference or whatever like makes a big difference and same thing with training like when I started training I was doing some basic calisthenics and yoga and belly dance and that expanded out into me doing ultra running. When I so I signed up for my first marathon I had barely finished couch to five k and I had a spinal nerve condition that made it very hard for me to run and I'm like you know what? I'm going to do this thing and I signed up for a marathon when I could barely run three miles and then I turned into an ultra marathoner and started doing. 01:01:05.29 Matthew Wow. 01:01:12.70 Jala Case So and then I started doing rocking events like endurance events and things like that that I shouldn't even be able to do because of my spinal nerve and that was one of my challenges I had to overcome and I found ways to make it happen and make it work for me and you know like. 01:01:29.22 Jala Is kind of like this constant evolving process so like doing all the rucking I found Okay well I have the endurance I have this you know speed I have the cardio but I need more strength and especially for my parents when like my dad would fall out of bed all the time and I had to deadlift him out in the middle of the night and he's bigger than me. 01:01:47.74 Jala I didn't have the strength to do that. So I started lifting and now I am very strong you know and I keep adding to all of my verb sets and I keep getting more and more by way of skills to you know, kind of continue to tackle life in general. So and of course yeah. 01:01:53.59 Matthew Ah happens. 01:02:02.18 Matthew Yeah, it's a cumulative process the the more you learn and the more you add to your repertoire the better. You'll be at the next thing you you tackle. So yeah, adding more to your plate is sometimes a very good thing. 01:02:13.53 Jala Yeah, because then too when I started doing poll dance I already had the starting flexibility from the yoga I had the starting strength from all the lifting I had the cardio I had the endurance so when I rolled into my very first class. Everybody thought that I was an intermediate student. 01:02:32.85 Jala And I had never been in a class before and it's just because I already had a baseline of capacity and so again like that. Well-roundedness is kind of part of how I approach honing all of my skills because like that gives me a good baseline that gives me a good starting point. 01:02:50.26 Jala To where I can better refine and see what I need to work on you know to to get better at whatever the current thing I'm tackling is so you know that is definitely for me a way that I do that and another question. How might you adjust your current trajectory to see greater improvement. 01:02:57.32 Matthew Um, yeah, so. 01:03:09.43 Jala Do you think there's something you can do right now that might help you to improve more. 01:03:15.90 Matthew Oh ah, of course um, I'm a person with Adhd. It has been a challenge my entire life in terms of organization. Just ah. Being able to complete a project stem to Stern having everything on hand ready to go is like my biggest key to success at work I am ah I'm basically given a free reign I have a company credit card I have access to any tool I want I can. Do whatever as long as my work is done within budget boom we're good. So I have I can do that you know professionally, but my home projects not so much sometimes budget gets in the way things like that. Um, but ah to truly like. 01:04:04.41 Matthew Get to the next level of where I'm at um I can't emphasize this enough I know it sounds like an internet weirdo but clean your shop folks. Um a space that you know where everything is like ah everything is still. 01:04:21.18 Matthew Organize the way someone with a tornado for a brain is organized that is that is how my shop is organized but it is organized. Um and when it is a clean space and I can move around freely and I can get from 1 thing to the next and a cleanup after work I find that I am my most productive I get the most done. 01:04:40.40 Matthew And I have the best time doing it because I'm not constantly going where is that coping saw I know it is supposed to be with the woodworking tools I don't know why it's all the way over here with the air tools. And yeah, that's just put everything back. Ah. 01:04:52.81 Jala Well in then too like if you have a DHD I would imagine that it not being in the right place would just completely distract you when you go over there to go get the thing in the wrong place right? yeah. 01:05:04.36 Matthew Now Now it's time to organize the the cabinet and it is not time to do whatever I was doing and yeah or if I'm like you know, something's on the bandsaw and then I notice oh well, the bandsside needs to be ah you know, ah realigned and things like that and then before you know it I'm elbow deep taking the bandsaw part and. 01:05:21.42 Jala Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so for me. Okay, so overall how I can improve my my overall productivity at this juncture is um, just it's always a constant. 01:05:21.59 Matthew Yeah, it's it's challenging but it works out. 01:05:37.34 Jala Struggle with all the housework and stuff making sure that all of the various tasks around the house are at least at a dull roar I am a bit behind because I've had so many podcast recordings this week and research and so on and so forth plus busy stuff at work and projects at home. 01:05:53.84 Jala So um, taking some time off to reset first to to get my brain to to stop for a second. Ah, that's already planned for next week and also taking some time to take care of some of those chores around the house and whatever which that's also planned for next week um doing those things first because I can't. Ah, sit and focus on something if there's just like the rest of everything is in chaos. So you know like I have to have everything at a fairly manageable point not just like the workspace the whole of everything because I will think about it I will just obsess about I need to wipe the count I need to. 01:06:30.67 Jala Do the mopping and the whatever like I will just think about those things until I get them done so um, getting getting some of those big chores out of the way for like general life cleanliness if you will not just like physical cleanliness but just like the other to do list you know needs to be. 01:06:46.50 Jala At a manageable point where I don't feel like I'm behind on everything and then I can really focus. So. 01:06:50.59 Matthew Yeah, that's that's that's my partner that that's there they want the house organized before we do whatever is going on else. Yeah. 01:06:59.86 Jala I am I am also the type of person that has to clean the house completely and do all of the laundry and everything before I leave like to go out of town I have to clean the house first I can't I can't leave with the house being dirty. Yes, yes. 01:07:09.77 Matthew Oh nothing beats coming home to clean sheets I can agree with you there. It is very nice to come over vacation and just go to bed. Oh it's so good. Yeah yeah. 01:07:18.69 Jala Yes, yeah I don't want to have to come home and have to do chores Hell no So so it's kind of that feeling too. Yeah, it's kind of that feeling too when it comes to making stuff spending a lot of time on a passion project. Whatever that might be. 01:07:27.51 Matthew I'll agree with you there. 01:07:35.79 Jala I Don't want to you know, be done with that and then come back into the house and go ah you know like just screaming my head off because there's so much else I have to be doing you know, um that. 01:07:40.66 Matthew Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'll say the best The best advice I have for if you're finding yourself unmotivated to do something like there are lots of reasons to lose motivation. But I know a huge one for me is an interrupted. Anything if I come home and for me specific specific thing I've I've nailed this to a science is taking my boots off if if I take my boots off then all of a sudden twitch is on and then all of a sudden I've making a snack all of a sudden I'm on the couch and then the dogs on me and then there's a beer open and then that's my evening right? there. 01:08:20.41 Matthew But if I come home and then I get right to whatever I'm going to do I'll start building I will go for my run back when we were going to the gym you know, pre pandemicdemic and stuff we go right to the gym. We take the dog immediately for a walk when you get home from work that continuous momentum is just. 01:08:39.17 Jala Yeah, oh no. 01:08:39.46 Matthew Like huge for me and I'm I'm sure I can't be the only one that ah the second there's a speed bump. It's like well this is a great excuse to fall asleep at 6 pm and wake up at three zero in the morning right. 01:08:48.19 Jala Yeah, yeah, it's definitely one of those situations and then two for me I like to if I want to wake up early in the morning and go to the gym go for a run whatever I set my stuff out the night before I have it already ready. 01:09:00.94 Matthew Yeah, yep. 01:09:03.68 Jala I have like my pre-workout ready in the bottle. Everything's ready. My shoes are by the door the whole 9 like I want it all laid out I want to have my outfit ready. Everything's just already picked in in the right place because then when that alarm goes off I can be like I want to get up and then I'm like but I already got everything ready. Yeah, then you you know it's your more. 01:09:19.18 Matthew Yeah, no, no excuses. 01:09:23.52 Jala You're more likely to get up and do it like if you have everything like ready to go So that's for sure. Um, now another thing for me in my trajectory like I've been emphasizing specifically this outward expression of this this passion of mine this outward expression of let me. 01:09:41.85 Jala Work on this podcast. Let me put a lot of effort into this podcast. The research for the show and all this other stuff. Well I have not been doing my own expression I have been doing the physical training and stuff like that after a very long and chaotic period I've been doing that I've been keeping up with that and that's great. I have not been doing dance I have not been doing writing I have not been doing art and so that inner reflection and that exterior expression of my inner self has not been going on So What I need to do is again like that create a piece for myself and that expression of myself. 01:10:20.23 Jala Outwardly so again, that's why I was talking about possibly resurrecting the salemore project or resurrecting the Aplasia project and maybe doing some you know like audio plays that kind of again leads into some of this podcast stuff but also includes some creativity as well. So. 01:10:37.55 Matthew Um, yeah. 01:10:38.66 Jala You know I'm aware of the steps I need to take in order to ah continue to grow and change and kind of get back on track after a very very chaotic phase of my life. So um, yeah, I'm ready for that. So The next little section is about overcoming challenges which. You know we already kind of started talking about but let's talk about it in detail so challenges to passion come in very many different forms. We've already talked about lack of resources finances time Energy space. All of these things are different challenges. 01:11:00.46 Matthew Um, yeah. 01:11:16.17 Jala Ah, shift in priorities due to a change in the cycle of work life balance or other personal situations such as a sick family member like that's my situation and also the change in work life balance happened at the same time because my company was bought out. 01:11:23.98 Matthew Yeah. 01:11:32.20 Jala And then we weren't even sure we were going to have jobs and then we had new systems to learn and the transition period was very painful and terrible and still ongoing. Um, you know there's a lot of a lot of ah chaos and insecurity at work at the same time as Chaos and Insecurity at home with sick people. 01:11:39.72 Matthew No geez. 01:11:50.53 Jala And um, that just kind of threw me and then I got injured twice and you know I got I fell into a depression as you might imagine so like ah so many things? Yeah, so so those were all challenges and sometimes it's okay to push the pause button. 01:11:58.65 Matthew Yeah, no, it's easy to do and ah. 01:12:06.32 Jala Yeah, if you have other stuff on your plate that you need to take care of to get your baseline back work on those first because you're not going to get very far if you um, are are still on an unsteady ground. You know you need to get that groundwork fairly fairly well solid in order to. 01:12:25.79 Jala Ah, build right? so. 01:12:27.26 Matthew Yeah, yeah for myself I so I stopped taking commissions at the beginning of the year because I knew I'd be building a new forge on my property this spring um and then lo and behold here comes knee surgery and ah I've been up. Ah, for a week and I think it's about three weeks is the recovery time and I don't have pylon one put in the ground to start building this thing yet and we're well past spring. Ah so yeah, things get in the way things slow you down just the inability to move the health. Whatever, um and it it is really easy to get in that funk. Yeah, um. 01:13:06.90 Jala Um, yeah, and that's the next one is a major life event. So like for you it would be having surgery but also things like marriage divorce changing in job Sudden Unemployment natural disasters like any number of things can can come up in. 01:13:17.96 Matthew Yeah I had a friend whose forge was taken out by a hurricane. He lived down in Florida and he lost he lost everything but his anvil that's the only thing that didn't float away and yeah, he's managed to rebuild and he's doing really well for himself. But boy was that a blow at the time now. 01:13:23.40 Jala Oh no, oh lord. 01:13:34.28 Jala I'm sure. So yeah and sometimes when we pause our passions due to major upheaval. We don't return to them. Ah it becomes ah one of those things of like you're depressed thinking about how far away you are from where you once were or. 01:13:50.50 Matthew No no. 01:13:52.14 Jala You know that the inertia of well I'm discouraged because I used to do all these things and I don't have the time or the whatever anymore to do it and so on and so forth. But really the the thing there is a lot of times when it comes to time and not always like there are people who legitimately do not have the time. Ah, not if they are going to you know ah survive day to day and get some kind of sleep but in many people's instances that people say that they don't have time and it's just a matter of shifting your priorities and sometimes that can be. 01:14:27.57 Jala Hard to do because you have depression going on. You have anxiety you have this and that again it's like that that foundation that groundwork once that ground starts crumbling and it's insecure. It's real hard to pursue your passions and so it can be 1 of those situations where it gets so far away from you that it. 01:14:34.24 Matthew Yeah. 01:14:46.69 Jala It's It's no longer a habit. It's no longer part of your daily life and it takes baby steps to get back there and it takes working on that groundwork to get it more stable again. So um, but yeah this again can be like. Change in priorities change to the self sometimes your passion pivots to something new or related but different than your old passion. Maybe you find a completely different passion and that's your new thing. It's okay to set down something that no longer serves you. 01:15:09.66 Matthew And hey. 01:15:19.67 Matthew Yeah, and you'll take with you The lessons that you learned in doing that it's It's never gone for good, but sometimes you do need to let go. It's ah a very true lesson. 01:15:29.90 Jala Yeah, and the thing is is that very often when we pause on any of our passions I already know that because I could hear it in your voice. There's this sense of guilt which leads to inertia. 01:15:41.79 Matthew Um, yeah. 01:15:43.97 Jala That Ah, you know it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to have inertia but it can lead to inertia which paralyzes us from ever resuming you know and I don't feel like you're going to just have inertia and and stop and never get back to it. But I know you have a sense of guilt I can hear it. So. 01:15:57.40 Matthew Yeah, but I'm thinking I'm actually thinking about a lot of my friends who who used to do art more full time and now have kind of backgrounded that in their life and they talk about feeling guilty that they don't do it anymore So much. 01:16:16.36 Matthew I'm like please just pick up the brush. Please just pick up the pen. Please just just try it once more and I know you'll be back there because it's like riding a bicycle it. You're not going to forget how to do it. 01:16:25.77 Jala Um, it is. 01:16:29.90 Jala Yeah, you might need to practice again to get your hand eye coordination back, but it will come back faster than you think it will so so for sure. 01:16:34.78 Matthew That's true. Yeah, that's true. 01:16:43.52 Jala So what kinds of challenges have you faced and how have you overcome them? Matthew. 01:16:50.27 Matthew Oh well? Um, especially with what I do um making large metal sculptures takes um, a very specific space. A very specific kind of landlord. Um, but. 01:17:08.21 Matthew I'm very lucky that I live sort of in a rural area and when I ah wasn't when I lived down in Massachusetts for a while um my boss was just like build stuff here. It's fine and he gave me a section of the shop where I could store my my gear and everything and I would work at. The machine shop which was wonderful. Um, and even when I moved to Vermont my boss up here was just like use the shop until you find a house so ah, but the people who I know who do the things that I do um who are extremely limited by space and time constraints. When it comes to shops or shared shops. Um, that's extremely difficult. Um and to to get past them is sometimes you need to temper your your expectations of what you're going to be able to do I'm not in any way telling you please limit yourself to the size of what you're working on but I'm saying. 01:17:55.64 Jala Um, yeah. 01:18:03.35 Matthew Scale models sometimes of a larger project that you're trying to make um are just as good and required just as much thought and will require you to solve the problems that you need to solve in the future. Um, now but smaller and easier to figure out. Um. 01:18:19.12 Jala Yeah in in like for me if I were dealing with I want to do a very very large painting but I do not have a place to put a canvas that large Panels Canvas Panels split it up. 01:18:21.95 Matthew Yeah. 01:18:33.75 Jala Cut it up into different pieces and do it in segments. You know you can lay it out. You know somewhere in the yard and look at it there on a dry day you know and check everything and like there's there's ways to kind of think outside the box like maybe you won't be able to do the project that you want to do in the way that you want to do it that doesn't mean that you can't do it. 01:18:52.89 Jala Just means you have to shift a little bit and ah you know like sometimes you can overcome whatever that obstacle is by adjusting what it is you know like how you want to do this thing How you want to realize this this project of yours. So. 01:18:52.98 Matthew Yeah. 01:19:05.62 Matthew Yeah, when I was in trade school I would go start crazy because there wasn't like a place for me to do work I'd have these weekends that I'd have nothing to do I'd be sitting in a dorm in the middle of New York just like I I don't know what to do with myself here. Um, so I learned cold working because I didn't have access to you know torches or whatever you you can't have those in dorm rooms for some weird reason they they really frown on that. Um, but I got into like tin knocking and cold working brass and cold working steel. And yeah, my neighbors complained about all the hammering sounds. But. Hey you can go somewhere else on the weekend I can't um so yeah, there are ways to figure out how to do the things you want to do even if you have extremely limited space. 01:19:53.30 Jala Yeah, and that that also kind of and not all cases but in many cases that's kind of scaling what you're doing or how you're doing. It is something that can um, help you with overcoming a lack of resources like there are online these days. 01:20:10.69 Jala Free resources for you to learn things everywhere. You can find information to learn how even if you don't have the capacity to do the thing at this time or you might be able to do something adjacent to what you want to do like Matthew was just saying and yeah. 01:20:11.63 Matthew Yeah. 01:20:30.58 Jala You can find a different way of approaching the same subject in a lot of cases. So um, for me different challenges I have faced um usually is juggling juggling all of my different responsibilities and trying to cram in the things that I want to do on top of all the other things that I do. 01:20:49.70 Jala I kind of just like learned how to multitask to hell and back. Um and sometimes it's like time related like the time that I want to release say for example, say Lamore I was working on that comic and 1 page a week was how I decided I was going to do it just to keep myself actively working on it and. 01:21:08.13 Jala I did that for you know, a couple of years and that was a breakneck pace that didn't turn out the project the way I wanted it to but what was I talking about earlier possibly retailering the same project into being a primarily prose piece with. 01:21:25.22 Jala Some illustrations and that would be a way to pivot the project and you're not coming out with a comic but you are still coming out with the story you will still have the artwork. You still have some of those very basic elements of the thing that you wanted to do and just by shifting it like that I can still be self reliant. Do it all myself and. Can still produce the thing and actually finish it this time where I wasn't able to before because it was too big of a task so you know like that is something that could very well be So ah, how about have you ever had your passion pivot. It doesn't sound like it really pivoted so much as just kind of. Ah, temporarily swerved. Maybe yeah. 01:22:05.49 Matthew Um, it it. It. It pulls in everything like a black hole I started I started with just being able to work with iron. Um and not like all iron just steel because basic welding is basic is the easiest with just steel and I was like ah how do i. Move on to this and then I learned you know, stick welding and stuff and then I could have cast iron in there and like that's awesome. Awesome here. We go and then you know all of a sudden I'm machining and I'm learning about fasteners. So now I can attach and you know make all these different fasteners for all these different things to attach whatever I want on there so I'm I'm working with aluminum. Ah. Recently I'm I'm very into brass which is a completely different kind of material to work with it. It. It doesn't have the same sort of plasticing flow that steel has um and it has different applications to to adhere it to itself. You can do silver soldering. You can do brazing. Um, you can do you can tig weld it. There's there's all sorts of different stuff. So and now I have a friend who is a glass worker and they're teaching me how to work with stained glass I've been incorporating glass into my things and it's just the more I can pile on. Ah. Ah, the better. It is. But yeah I do pivot quite a bit and I'll be really focused on I am making like recently I did a gallery show that was all these little tiny weapons that none of them were like longer than three inches I think and um so I got into miniatures and learning how to make. 01:23:37.96 Matthew Extremely small metal things and then learning how to work with recycled paints to get them to look accurate and things like that and I was really really focused on that for about two months and then the show went by and I'm done with that and that it happens all the time but ah. Yeah, it always comes back home. It always comes back to me just working with my large pieces of iron and having fun with it. 01:24:02.96 Jala Yeah, yeah for me. Ah the black hole thing is really so true like everything that I do ends up turning itself back in like it gets sucked back into my overall passion for you know these things that I've already outlined multiple times on the show. 01:24:06.94 Matthew Okay. 01:24:19.18 Jala And so like the different ways in which I am training myself or teaching myself pushing myself outside of my box or doing the same for other people the different ways that I am disseminating information the different ways that I am sharing all of this stuff with everybody like all of that just kind of. 01:24:38.82 Jala Ah, just adds and piles on to the different modes and methods of how this just infuses throughout my entire life. You know my whole life is just I'm living it I'm living my passion every day by doing all of this because everything you know is it's all consuming. 01:24:58.40 Jala So ah, when it seems like my interests pivot like my my passion is like it might take different forms you know? ah I will emphasize the podcast like I have in the last year by the way this is like the one year anniversary ah like by the time this episode comes out. It'll be like. 01:25:16.87 Jala The month after the one year anniversary of the show. Yay! So but um, so like I focused on that really really hard core. But ah then I acknowledged the fact that I need to do more on my side. You know, internally not just like. 01:25:16.89 Matthew Oh well, happy anniversary. 01:25:35.60 Jala The way that I am as I am doing these episodes. But also you know my self-expression needs to be part of that and I need to do more than just present information I need to create things and I want people to be able to consume the things that I am creating so I need that back in my life and um. You know? So it's like it pivots in that the thing that I'm emphasizing in training will pivot the thing that I'm emphasizing in creation pivots like from creating artwork and writing to creating podcast and you know it's just like letting those things rotate out as feels right for me at the time. Because I need a constant rotation and constant flux in order to feel fresh so that I do not burn out so those shifts in how it presents itself to the outside world are necessary for me to keep on going. 01:26:32.17 Jala So yeah, so ah, now we're just going to kind of open it up to kind of talk a little bit more about her passion. We've already talked about them throughout this episode. But um, what do you do every single you already you work in you know machining. So do you How how often do you like incorporate. 01:26:38.79 Matthew Yeah. 01:26:50.64 Jala Like obviously you're incorporating the things you learn as you're working into your creative endeavors and all of that. But um, what other things do you do like on the daily are there things you haven't mentioned. 01:27:03.73 Matthew Oh yeah, well um, on the daily I mean like work is art. Um I make sculpture for work I make high end lighting and stuff for work. So um everyday boy. 01:27:20.20 Matthew I'm not sure if there isn't a lot I haven't mentioned there is a lot that I do that has to do with just the logistics of art getting the materials in place having you know a rapport with several vendors to get everything that we need to get things done on time. A big part of my life is quoting when you when you make art professionally or even on the side getting to learn how much time something will take you to make and to evaluate how much that time is worth is a really really big thing. That I did not know that would be part of my life that. 01:28:01.60 Jala Um, and it is so hard for so many people I think it's kind of hard for everybody but you know until you've you've done it so much that you like you know you've quoted so much that you are you got it down to a science but like it takes time to get there. It takes practice. 01:28:06.74 Matthew Um, yeah. 01:28:14.33 Matthew It takes practice it does and it takes practice to value yourself enough to charge for what things are worth Yes, if you charge what you are actually worth nobody would be able to afford you because we are all worth a lot. Um, you know. 01:28:21.19 Jala Yes. 01:28:31.50 Matthew What is what is an hour of me so making something for something else someone else versus an hour of me playing with my dog outside. Um you need to pay me a lot of money to tear me away from that. But you know ah you need to find that balance at a certain point and um, yeah I think one of the. 01:28:51.60 Matthew Biggest unseen things is that planning stage. Um, you can be wildly passionate like I am about building but I don't go in blind and I don't go in without knowing without having a seed without having something there that is getting me started. 01:29:08.70 Jala Right? right? So you also do some sketching to that end too like you're all you know doing your drawings and stuff of different projects. Do you ever just find yourself doodling stuff and then like you may or may not make the thing. Maybe it just goes into a sketchbook and you come across it later and go hey that's an idea. 01:29:12.56 Matthew Yeah, yeah. 01:29:27.60 Jala I didn't I make that? yeah. 01:29:27.19 Matthew That does happen. Yeah, it's kind of funny. Um I never had a formal Arts education. Um I did go to obviously trade school so I was ah taught drafting. So I can draw mechanical drawings extremely easily and engineering things very well. But I Never really had a formal arts education and when my current employer found that out. They're like oh my God you're going to go to art class and we're gonna pay for it. Um, so I have finished my second art class which has been a lot of fun just you know, figure and form drawing and things like that they just getting the basics. So I can. When I present things. It's um, you know in a more artistic way in a less. Ah, it's less cold I suppose. But yeah, um, all day long I am sketching things for right now I'm um, I'm making armor that's sort of been my my focus recently. Um. 01:30:07.99 Jala Yeah. 01:30:23.23 Matthew And so I've been doing a lot of armoring sketches and trying to craft and hone that to make a set that is um, half sort of historically accurate for a period but the other half I'm just really inspired by final fantasy 12 and I Really love the classical mechanical. Kind of like Royal Robot look of everything. Um, So yeah I do find myself all the time just drawing things and I have a very specific folder that I Tuck things away in um I have commonplace books which I recommend for everyone to get a commonplace book which is just a big blank book that you carry with you. 01:31:01.71 Matthew That you write down literally everything that you are thinking or you have designed or whatever and then a year later you go back through and you're like that was a really good Joke. This is an amazing D and D setting This is going to be a good suit of armor someday and then you just kind of allot them in your brain. Um, yeah I Can't recommend that enough. 01:31:24.48 Jala Yeah, yeah for sure. Definitely um, especially if I'm in a very creative mode I have constantly um, a a book like a blank book that I just keep and I sketch in I you know write ideas in I do whatever and it's just full of whatever just whatever I was. 01:31:42.19 Jala Doing at the time and it's not and it's not so much writing as it is drawing but it's the same thing and um, as for podcasting I have a very active Google docs account. 01:31:54.60 Jala I have so many ah like partially researched things for like future episodes and a list of all the things that I have planned out for the future and so many different Google docs with all of my show notes that I work on constantly and I share things with people so like I'm always doing this thing. So um. 01:32:12.62 Matthew Yeah. 01:32:12.84 Jala Is kind of perpetual. So so yeah, like ah for me what do I do every day towards my passions. Well physically I have maintained the training. Um, once I got back from all the injuries and depression and whatnot. Um I've been back at training for. Ah, several months now and that's been going steadily and fine I'm layering in and adding in more things that I used to do on the regular because you know I always have um, very many different styles of things that I'm doing at any given time. Um, and. As for this podcast I am usually listening to audiobooks or reading ebooks on Kindle or whatever ah just studying constantly and having conversations with people about different topics in order to inform who's going to be on what episode and you know like ah. Different ideas for things and you know having those ah formative conversations that become how the episode gets laid out those kinds of things. Ah, but then when it comes to creativity like I said haven't been doing a lot of it more recently I have been sharing lots of old creative endeavors with some friends. 01:33:20.79 Jala Ah, just like 1 on 1 and in doing that and going back to those projects and thinking about them and talking about them and sharing the dance choreographies that I worked on the ones that I made for myself. The ones that I did in class things like that. It's really kind of just made me go man I need to go do those things again. 01:33:37.53 Matthew Yeah I love that feeling of like when it's reignited and you're like I got to do this again like I haven't done this in so long I need to I need to like flex that muscle. 01:33:39.52 Jala I'm missing this very vital part of who I am so. 01:33:52.65 Jala Yeah, yeah, and especially since you know since the way that my passions play out are twofold. It's externally and outwardly directed and it's internal but also like expressed. Outwardly for people to consume like I've got multiple modes to juggle and I've been doing you know that first one that I mentioned and not that second one so much. So It's time I'm overdue and in order to be in balance with myself and where I need to be with my passions I need to have both in my life. 01:34:29.50 Jala So I'm working to get back to all of that. Ah again, really like life happening is what happened there but ah, realizing all of that is one of the first things to you know and building back like that base as I have been doing like I understand I can't just jump into it right now. 01:34:47.30 Jala Have to make the time and how do I make the time Well I have to get these things in line I have to get my energy back I have to um, calm down some of the stressors in my life so that I can focus and I'm doing all of that groundwork so that I can get back to that place. 01:35:02.90 Matthew Yeah, it's balances what life is about and now. 01:35:04.94 Jala So yeah. Yeah, absolutely so if you could be granted 1 wish to further your passion. What would it be other than getting that forge completed just like if they could just be magiced up right down this minute I mean we're not going to count that one you you already have the plans in place for that. Other than that. 01:35:15.81 Matthew Oh my god. 01:35:22.77 Matthew Ah, well, there's such a long list of tools and equipment I need but that seems um, that seems so small if I had a wish to be more active in my passions right now I am a person who body doubles. 01:35:41.34 Matthew Um, I am someone who is so much more active and does so much more work when someone is there just there um like a couple years ago I was ah building ah a little ah barn out the property here and I would just have meg outside my partner just read a book out there so I could just be like okay. 01:36:01.19 Matthew Everybody's attended. Everybody's taken care of I can work here without feeling like I need to go take care of other things or there's other irons in the fire or whatever. It's a pretty common thing with Adhd body doubling helps to get things done. Um at work. We do things called shop days where we all just. 01:36:05.44 Jala Yeah. 01:36:18.92 Matthew Stay after or we all come in on the weekend and we all work on our personal projects and um I Love that I'm super productive there. So if I could have something happen. It would definitely make my place more accessible for people to come and do work while I'm also working in my shop because it does happen like I do have people come over and work. Ah, fairly frequently and um and I love it. I get so much done I get to have other eyes when I need other eyes I have other hands when I need other hands and opinions when you know I'm actually looking for Criticism. So Ah I Guess um, yeah, have ah have more people around. Ah, that have the time and energy for art I think would be a wonderful thing. What about you. 01:37:03.67 Jala Yeah, for me I would say at this particular moment. The thing that I wish for the most is honestly and I'm getting teary eyed Oh this terrible okay is ah, people being ah excited. 01:37:13.59 Matthew Oh no. 01:37:20.97 Jala For for the things that I create to so to hear more about those things and to be interested and engaged in what I shall produce. Um, you know being being interested and by the time this episode has dropped ah it will have already shown up like a month ago now 01:37:38.79 Jala There was an audio play that I did for salemmore at the comic and it was a short little 10 minute audio play and it has Gary and Cole from duckfeed as the 2 main characters in it and it was I had a sound engineer as a friend who you know was also an artist and ah he did all the sound. 01:37:48.51 Matthew Um, oh whoa. 01:37:56.29 Jala Sound work on it. It's not like my best writing, but it's still a fun random thing that I did as you know yeah and that that'll be dropping on. Um Monday as of the time we're recording but like it'll it'll be on may first. So um, everybody will have already heard it by this point but I hope it. It's just. 01:38:00.68 Matthew It sounds great. Yeah. 01:38:15.30 Jala Old thing it was from 24 Twenty Thirteen I think um anyway, a long time ago and um, so it's a decade old crap I would love for people to like that and be excited about that. 01:38:29.54 Jala And just like interested in asking questions and engaged in like wanting to see me work on choreographies again wanting to see what kind of writings I would be producing and all of that like asking you know being interested and engaged in that because. 01:38:44.24 Jala That energy when people are involved in the thing that you're doing is so important and like I don't need people around for me to write and draw what I need them for is for them to see it to read it to absorb it. You know, ah consume the media consume the thing that I am making and you know talk to me about it. 01:38:56.74 Matthew Yeah, there there is that age old argument does art exist in a vacuum like people you should create just a create. Obviously. 01:39:04.19 Jala That's what I want. 01:39:08.30 Jala Yeah. 01:39:14.48 Matthew Everyone should create just to create but it is in the act of it being observed that it becomes art. It is in the act that once death of the author. It is outside of your control at that point. But um, that is that is yeah. 01:39:19.30 Jala Yes. 01:39:29.92 Matthew I Think ah sort of a universal thing. Everyone wants to be at least seen and acknowledged at some point. Um for for their labors. Yeah, that's very relatable. 01:39:37.21 Jala Yeah, yeah, yeah, so last question and then we're wrapping it up so what would you like listeners to know about your passion Matthew. 01:39:51.21 Matthew Oh my gosh. Um, it's accessible. That's what I'm going to say um everyone is just like I can't do what you do because of like I've said x y and z I don't have the space I don't have the time I don't have the talent you know, whatever. I didn't either. Um I was ah I was the absolute bottom of my class in high school I did not go to college I went to trade school. Um, but I just worked hard at it. Um, ah I saw a ah a folk punk guitarist years ago named Paul Barrabo ah who played in my hometown and um and he's and he's an amazing guitarist. Um, he plays these extremely fast riffs on acoustic guitars. It's it's wonderful stuff and he says do you know how I got good at this and he'd play like this little thing and he goes you just start. Doing this and he starts playing it and he says and then you don't go outside for like a month and you don't hang out with your friends and you don't see your family and you forget to eat sometimes and you drink a lot of black coffee and and he's like yeah and that's that's how you get good at that is you practice and practice and practice and practice and practice until it's your entire life. 01:41:03.24 Matthew And don't feel like um, especially because blacksmithing is just like oh that's a thing that happens on game of thrones. That's a thing that happens on a very bad television show. Um, that's not a thing that you can do in your backyard. It absolutely is it absolutely is. Um, with like less than $35 worth of material. You could be blacksmithing right now. Um, so yeah, ah accessibility it is accessible and if you can't figure it out. Dm me on Twitter and I will help you figure it out I promise. Yeah. 01:41:33.39 Jala Yeah, yeah for sure for sure. Although like I don't I don't know though because like Twitter dms I have not been getting any notifications when people Dm me. So yeah I don't know. 01:41:39.90 Matthew How about you. 01:41:45.73 Matthew Ah, no me neither. Yeah anyway, here's my whole phone number 5 one 8 01:41:50.69 Jala Ah I don't know and maybe just like periodically pop in there and see if anybody messaged you because you're not getting to get a notification about that. But yeah, so for me what what would I say I want people to understand about my passion. Um, it's for everybody. Not just me not just. 01:41:54.62 Matthew Yeah. 01:42:10.53 Jala You know you it's for everybody all of society my wish for everybody and everywhere they are you know wherever they are and whatever they're doing is you know, kind of like that constant growth and getting outside of your comfort zone and you know getting out of that Rut. You know it's something that you can do I feel like. The biggest problem that so many people face is that they are their own self limiter. They think in their head I can't do this thing and guess what they can't and why because they're telling themselves and they are actualizing their prophecy they are making it happen. 01:42:49.25 Jala By limiting themselves. There is almost always a way to make whatever it is. You're trying to do happen but you have to be willing to step back and see what that foundation needs you know, see what steps you have to take and. Understand it's going to be like a process. It's not like a overnight suddenly you've got the end result and it's wonderful. No, there's a lot of steps. It can take years. It can take a lifetime and you still don't feel like it's 100 % where you want it to be and that's just part of the game. You know passions are practice. 01:43:20.43 Matthew Yeah, absolutely. 01:43:23.80 Jala Yeah, okay so. 01:43:29.75 Jala Ah, where are in the internet we already mentioned Twitter so ah, where on the internet can people find you if you are to be found Matthew. 01:43:34.66 Matthew Yeah, you can find me at the ugly machine on Twitter um, and the same handle on Tumblr. Um, and I don't know if I'm going to be branching out to more social media or less in the future now that Twitter is imploding on itself. So tbd. But right now that's the place to find me and if you just want to contact me directly the ugly machine at Gmail.com is where I get all inquiries for commissions or whatever else. Some people usually just use that ah a lot of art students just ask me questions there. So yeah, if you have questions hit me up. 01:44:10.47 Jala Yeah, and of course everyone knows I am found everywhere that I may be found at Jolahan including Jolllacha Dot place where you got this episode and all of the others so that is all for now folks. Until next time take care of yourself and remember to smile. [Show Outro] Jala Jala-chan's Place is brought to you by Fireheart Media. If you enjoyed the show, please share this and all of our episodes with friends and remember to rate and review us on your podcast platform of choice. Word of mouth is the only way we grow. If you like, you can also kick us a few bucks to help us keep the lights on at ko-fi.com/Jala. Check out our other show Monster Dear Monster: A Monster Exploration Podcast at monsterdear.monster. Music composed and produced by Jake Lionhart with additional guitars and mixed by Spencer Smith. Follow along with my adventures via jalachan.place or find me at jalachan in places on the net! [Outro Music]