[00:00:00] Jim Jansen: Hey everybody. Welcome to the Equip Cast. So today I sit down with Katie Sciba. Katie is a simplicity consultant. She helps people live the life that the Lord has invited them to by getting rid of the extra stuff in their life, like physical stuff, commitments, relationships. She helps people walk through their home, the rooms in their life and figure out, does this serve where the Lord is calling me? Does it serve my vocation? Does it serve my relationship with him? The, the relationships with others in my life? We have an amazingly fun conversation talking about. How deep this is in our tradition as Catholics, and how hard it can be and how to, how to see more clearly and live more freely. It's a really fun conversation. You're gonna love it. Take a listen. Hey everybody. Welcome to the EquipCast, a weekly podcast for the Archdiocese of Omaha. I'm your host, Jim Janssen. Now let's dive into some encouragement and inspiration to equip you to live your faith and to be fruitful in your mission. Let's go. Katie Sciba, welcome to the EquipCast. How you doing today? [00:01:19] Kaite Sciba: I'm fine. Thanks for having me. [00:01:20] Jim Jansen: Okay, so I'm really excited. We were talking before for the mics went on here. We've known each other for a long time. [00:01:28] Kaite Sciba: I was 13 when I met you. Jim Jansen at the Newman Center. Old Newman. [00:01:34] Jim Jansen: Oh, old Newman. [00:01:35] Kaite Sciba: In Lincoln. [00:01:35] Jim Jansen: Oh, this is before, wait. I think, no, I think it was before that. I think we met when you were sibling weekend when your sister and I were friends at Benedictine. [00:01:44] Kaite Sciba: Okay. That must've been true. Alright. [00:01:45] Jim Jansen: Sibling weekend. [00:01:46] Kaite Sciba: So that's like. [00:01:46] Jim Jansen: That's younger, younger than 13. [00:01:47] Kaite Sciba: 11. I was 11. [00:01:49] Jim Jansen: Okay. [00:01:49] Kaite Sciba: Holy cow. [00:01:50] Jim Jansen: We gotta stop this 'cause I'm starting to feel old. Uh, okay. Katie, we always like to start all of our conversations here as we're like, you know, going down memory lane. Tell us your story. Who are you? [00:02:01] Kaite Sciba: Who am I? I'm, I'm Katie. I am a mostly Nebraska native. I was born. [00:02:08] Jim Jansen: Wait, wait, what's the mostly? [00:02:09] Kaite Sciba: You know? Oh, I moved to Nebraska when I was two. [00:02:11] Jim Jansen: Oh, okay. Got it. Where? Virginia, where were you born? [00:02:14] Kaite Sciba: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Virginia. So my dad was stationed at Langley and then he got stationed to Offit. So, and that was when I was really little. So not born right. But I, I grew up outside of Offit in Bellevue. Moved to Papillion. We lived in Wayne for a hot minute, and that was. Honestly, my time in Wayne, those were the best years of my childhood. Hands down. [00:02:34] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Wayne Nebraska. Wayne Nebraska. [00:02:36] Kaite Sciba: Yes. Wayne America. [00:02:37] Jim Jansen: It's hidden. It's a hidden gem folks. [00:02:40] Kaite Sciba: Oh, such, such a prize. I love that place. And then, uh, went to Benedictine for college, which is. Just, I'm so grateful for my years there. It was, wonderful. [00:02:52] Jim Jansen: I've got kids. I've got kids there now, so it's coming back in, in a special way. It's been very fun. [00:02:56] Kaite Sciba: I can't imagine. Yeah, that would be so great. [00:02:59] Jim Jansen: It is fun. [00:03:00] Kaite Sciba: And then met my husband when I was a freshman. He was a senior. We started dating the next year and then we got married right after I graduated, so I was [00:03:09] Jim Jansen: Okay. [00:03:09] Kaite Sciba: Still a child. Most definitely. [00:03:11] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:03:11] Kaite Sciba: You know, by so, so many measures. Still a child, but, and then moved to Louisiana for, we were there for eight years. And then you moved back to the Omaha area in 2016. [00:03:23] Jim Jansen: Tell us a little bit about your faith story. How'd you like meet Jesus? Where'd you feel like a, a call to mission? How'd that unfold? [00:03:30] Kaite Sciba: I'm a cradle Catholic, and from what I've heard from my parents, the faith has always been important to me. [00:03:39] Jim Jansen: Mm. [00:03:39] Kaite Sciba: My mom told me that when I was a toddler, I would teach little kids on the block, the sign of the cross, which is kind of fun. Like I [00:03:48] Jim Jansen: That's awesome. [00:03:49] Kaite Sciba: I don't remember that at all. Uh, but I believe her when she tells me that. [00:03:52] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:03:52] Kaite Sciba: You know, and I remember always being very convicted about my faith. [00:03:59] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:03:59] Kaite Sciba: Just, it was so easy for me to fall in love with Jesus, and I ate up saint stories. I found them to be so encouraging. They made me want to live radically. [00:04:10] Jim Jansen: Nice. Yeah. [00:04:11] Kaite Sciba: Whenever I would read a profile of, you know, uh, the Lives of the Saints or a Picture Book of the Lives of the Saints, I mean, I just, I can still see those illustrations and they wanted, they made me want to live differently. I remember that so clearly. [00:04:25] Jim Jansen: That's, that's awesome. [00:04:26] Kaite Sciba: And then, you know, you wonder as the soul is [00:04:30] Jim Jansen: mm-hmm [00:04:30] Kaite Sciba: prone to do, and I most certainly did. But I could never deny the truth and the reality that I had clung to all through my youth. And so always, always returned. [00:04:44] Jim Jansen: How much I, I'm curious, wasn't planning on asking this, but you know, your sister and I served as missionaries together brand new when Focus was just getting started. I mean, I think I was like, I dunno, I was like the 11th missionary hired. I think she was like number 10 or something. I mean, we were right at the beginning. [00:04:59] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. [00:04:59] Jim Jansen: How much did that affect you? Because you were, you saw that as a teenager. Was that helpful? [00:05:05] Kaite Sciba: I'm so glad that you asked that. That was a huge moment in my own life of faith. [00:05:11] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:05:11] Kaite Sciba: Because, and I mean, Jen was my big sister. [00:05:14] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:05:14] Kaite Sciba: So I just ate up everything she did and looked to her example constantly. And I remember the first time she came home from a break and she goes to me, do you wanna do a Bible study? [00:05:27] Jim Jansen: That sounds just like her. [00:05:29] Kaite Sciba: And I. [00:05:29] Jim Jansen: And looks just like her too. Yeah. [00:05:32] Kaite Sciba: And I remember thinking, no, I don't. Like the, the Bible scripture was so inaccessible to me. [00:05:42] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:05:42] Kaite Sciba: And I, I felt like it was impossible for me as a middle schooler. I was like, I don't, I don't know. [00:05:47] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:05:47] Kaite Sciba: I don't. And she was like, no, no, no. It'll be fun. So we sit down, uh, and my sitting down with my big sister, I was quite begrudging of the event, but I was game because my big sister was doing it. [00:05:59] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:06:00] Kaite Sciba: She's the one who cracked open scripture, unlocked it for me, made me all the more fascinated typology that was there. She taught me about chastity and modesty, and I soaked it up like a sponge. [00:06:14] Jim Jansen: Yes. [00:06:14] Kaite Sciba: And what happened was that later on in high school when I would. Date young men. I would explain to them what Chastity was and why I was waiting for marriage naturally, and, and it was, and I would get so fired up and they would be like, okay. Like. [00:06:32] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh, that's so great though. [00:06:33] Kaite Sciba: And I started praying for my future spouse when I was 12 per Jen's direction. So, [00:06:39] Jim Jansen: So good. [00:06:40] Kaite Sciba: How useful was her? How, how much did her faith affect me? Huge life changing. [00:06:46] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. I'm glad I asked that question. Okay. So Katie, this is like, you're, you're kind of living this beautiful mission now. You've been working as air quotes here, a simplicity consultant. What is that and how did you get started helping people as a simplicity consultant? [00:07:05] Kaite Sciba: All right. That's a fantastic question. I discovered. The blessing of living simply in 2012. So there is a bit of a story lead up this. [00:07:16] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Please. [00:07:16] Kaite Sciba: To this. We were expecting our third son. [00:07:19] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:07:20] Kaite Sciba: And we had a bunch of family over to surprise them with the news. So we had dinner and we had a cake. And my oldest came out wearing a number one on his T-shirt. And then my next kid came out wearing a number two on his T-shirt and everyone was like, oh look, they're numbered. And then I showed everybody that I had a number three on my abdomen. [00:07:42] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:07:42] Kaite Sciba: And it, it was big explosion of congratulations and Oh, how exciting. And when things kind of calmed down very, very well-meaning family member came up to me and said, so when are y'all moving? [00:07:57] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:07:58] Kaite Sciba: And in my mind, Jim, that did not naturally follow. [00:08:03] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:08:03] Kaite Sciba: But it was a very good question because at the time, living in Shreveport, Louisiana, we had no basement. [00:08:09] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:08:09] Kaite Sciba: And we were living in a very old home that had 1200 square feet and a horrible storage, like galley, kitchen, pokey, little hallway. Wasn't even a full three bedroom. It was like a two and a half bedroom. And we were, we just told people we're adding to this. [00:08:25] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:08:26] Kaite Sciba: So I understood why she asked what she asked, but I also knew after I panicked because I was like, oh shoot, are we, am I supposed to move? Are we moving? And I thought, well, we, we can't swing a move. [00:08:41] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:08:41] Kaite Sciba: We don't, we don't have the resources for that. And Andrew and I, when we were engaged, agreed he would go to work and be the breadwinner, and I would stay at home with the kids and that this is what we both felt very called to do. [00:08:53] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:08:55] Kaite Sciba: And I felt this sort of holy defiance. [00:08:59] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:08:59] Kaite Sciba: Where I was like, you know what? This is the home that the Lord provides through my husband's work, and it is my job to steward this gift. [00:09:08] Jim Jansen: Nice. You're like, I'm gonna make this work. [00:09:09] Kaite Sciba: I, I went up to Andrew and I said, I'm not only gonna make this work, I'm gonna show you this house is perfect for us. [00:09:15] Jim Jansen: Wow. [00:09:16] Kaite Sciba: And so fueled by nesting hormones. [00:09:20] Jim Jansen: Wait, wait. Where was, where was Andrew on this? Was he, like, was he, was he with you or did he he need some convincing at first. [00:09:27] Kaite Sciba: Um, well, he knew that we couldn't afford to move. [00:09:29] Jim Jansen: Well, okay, sure. [00:09:30] Kaite Sciba: So he was like, sure. Like, go for it. But he was also, he was at work during the day. [00:09:36] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Please, please make it perfect. [00:09:38] Kaite Sciba: Yeah, I know. [00:09:39] Jim Jansen: No, no, don't, dear. [00:09:40] Kaite Sciba: I, I don't know how much confidence he had in the fact that our growing family could fit [00:09:47] Jim Jansen: mm-hmm [00:09:47] Kaite Sciba: well in 1200 square feet, but he was happy to give me his blessing in this. [00:09:52] Jim Jansen: Okay. [00:09:52] Kaite Sciba: That was fine. [00:09:53] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:09:54] Kaite Sciba: So I went to town. I made a list of not just all of the rooms in our home, but even just sections of the rooms in our home and very methodically and very, I I love the phrase Poco a poco. It's little by little. [00:10:10] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:10:10] Kaite Sciba: I went through our home and I got rid of our excess and that turned out to, it developed a muscle [00:10:20] Jim Jansen: mm-hmm. [00:10:21] Kaite Sciba: For detachment and. [00:10:23] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:10:23] Kaite Sciba: That bloomed into something deeply spiritual that I did not anticipate at all. So. We were getting rid of extra toys, getting rid of stuff that we just didn't use in the kitchen. One of the first things we got rid of was our microwave. [00:10:39] Jim Jansen: Ooh. [00:10:40] Kaite Sciba: And it was. [00:10:41] Jim Jansen: Very controversial. [00:10:42] Kaite Sciba: Oh my gosh. [00:10:43] Jim Jansen: We're just getting started. The microwave! No! [00:10:46] Kaite Sciba: And so we set it aside, which is something that I advise my clients to do. If you have a thing and you're like, I'm not sure if I want to get rid of this or not. [00:10:54] Jim Jansen: Right. Just. [00:10:55] Kaite Sciba: So you move it to, to a different room. [00:10:56] Jim Jansen: Try living. Right. Try living without it. [00:10:58] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. [00:10:58] Jim Jansen: For a while. Yeah. That's great. [00:10:59] Kaite Sciba: So Andrew said, because he's, he is the anchor to my sail. I am gung-ho to make all the life changes right now. And he is prayerful and he is like, let's discern. [00:11:10] Jim Jansen: Let's think this is, this is hilarious. Knowing, knowing both of you, I'm like, yep, that's, that's totally. Oh my gosh. [00:11:16] Kaite Sciba: So he said, let's take the microwave, let's put it in a different room, and if we miss it in a month, we'll get it back out. And if we don't, we'll get rid of it. [00:11:23] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:11:24] Kaite Sciba: And then you better believe, I knew the day. Because I was, I was psyched about this. [00:11:28] Jim Jansen: You got a clock ticking. [00:11:30] Kaite Sciba: And a neighbor and a friend of mine put on Facebook, Hey, our microwave broke. Uh, we're in the market for a new one. And I was like, I've got one. [00:11:38] Jim Jansen: Got one. [00:11:38] Kaite Sciba: Come on over. [00:11:39] Jim Jansen: That's awesome. [00:11:40] Kaite Sciba: And she came over and got it. And I was, so, it was such a, a simple thing. To be able to provide for somebody else's need in that moment. [00:11:50] Jim Jansen: Yeah. To gift someone else. Yeah. [00:11:53] Kaite Sciba: I, the thrill seems in hindsight, disproportionate. But I know it was a grace like the Lord was showing me, see? [00:12:01] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. [00:12:02] Kaite Sciba: Like stuff is to be used. [00:12:05] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:12:05] Kaite Sciba: People are for love. [00:12:06] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Like a signal grace. It's like, yeah, you're on the right track. [00:12:09] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. Yeah. So that was one of the first things, and I remember telling my, I, oh, I stinking told everybody because I was so psyched about it. I was like. [00:12:18] Jim Jansen: Really? [00:12:18] Kaite Sciba: Do you have, do you have five minutes? [00:12:22] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:12:23] Kaite Sciba: Oh. And I remember telling my mother-in-law and she goes, you are not taking my microwave. And it's like, yours is built in. I can't touch it. Yeah, that's fine. [00:12:33] Jim Jansen: That's good. [00:12:34] Kaite Sciba: So that was, that was the beginning of kind of waking up. [00:12:38] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:12:38] Kaite Sciba: To. What if I lived a life that was so focused on blessing others? [00:12:46] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:12:46] Kaite Sciba: And being a channel of God's generosity, of God's mercy. What if I could do that instead of, so, so many of us hold onto things. It's, it's like a dragon hoard. We hold onto things just in case. [00:13:03] Jim Jansen: Right? [00:13:03] Kaite Sciba: We hold onto things because they have sentimental value. Are you using this? No. Okay, that's fine. We'll keep it. [00:13:11] Jim Jansen: But I, but I love the person who broke it. [00:13:14] Kaite Sciba: Right. [00:13:15] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:13:15] Kaite Sciba: Right. [00:13:15] Jim Jansen: That's the worst. Like I hang on to like broken things and it's like, why am I keeping this broken thing? Oh, I love the person who broke this thing. [00:13:21] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. Right, right, right. So we, we hold onto things because of the value we impose on them. [00:13:27] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:13:27] Kaite Sciba: But really inherently speaking, a thing is amoral. It can be used for good or it can be used to be part of your dragon hoard and further your attachment to earthly things. [00:13:42] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Well, and when you're getting rid of the thing, you know, we'll just use my example, like the broken thing. I'm not getting rid of the person who broke it. I am still in relationship with them. And in fact, getting rid of this thing might in a small way keep me from being less distracted and improve my relationship with them. [00:13:59] Kaite Sciba: 100%. A hundred percent. Yeah. And I, a question I get a lot when I speak, or when I'm working one-on-one with a client is, what do I do with the possessions from deceased relatives? [00:14:11] Jim Jansen: Right, right. [00:14:13] Kaite Sciba: And praise the Lord and God arrest him. I lost my dad in 2013. [00:14:17] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:14:18] Kaite Sciba: And initially my inclination was to grab onto everything and anything that he laid hands or eyes on. [00:14:26] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:14:26] Kaite Sciba: I just wanted to hold on to everything that was his. [00:14:30] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:14:30] Kaite Sciba: Because it was, I was trying to hold on to him. I didn't want him to be gone. But then after that passed and it, it didn't take too long for that to pass, I realized if I just hold on to his stuff and I'm not using it. [00:14:49] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:14:49] Kaite Sciba: Then these things are not serving me or anyone else. [00:14:54] Jim Jansen: Katie, do you help people through that? 'cause that's like, I mean, that's a very tangible grieving process. [00:15:01] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. [00:15:01] Jim Jansen: Do you, is that, I mean, I get the sense that that comes up now and then for your work. [00:15:06] Kaite Sciba: Oh, very frequently. Yes. [00:15:07] Jim Jansen: Yeah. How do you, how do you talk people through that? [00:15:11] Kaite Sciba: Well, usually when I get there with clients, it's after a lot of work with items that are not sentimental. Right. Because we have to develop that muscle. [00:15:20] Jim Jansen: Sure, yeah. [00:15:20] Kaite Sciba: Of detachment. [00:15:21] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:15:21] Kaite Sciba: And recognizing, does this thing serve me great? Then I keep it. Does it not, then it's time to let it go. Yeah. Right. [00:15:30] Jim Jansen: That makes sense. [00:15:30] Kaite Sciba: And so when we get to the more sentimental things, we can still ask that same question, is this serving you? How is this contributing to the life that the Lord is asking you to live? And so for me, the things that I've kept that belong to my dad [00:15:47] Jim Jansen: mm-hmm. [00:15:47] Kaite Sciba: Are three things, specifically a coffee mug of his. [00:15:51] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:15:52] Kaite Sciba: That I use a t-shirt of his that I wear all the time. And I, I loved seeing him in it. [00:15:58] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:15:59] Kaite Sciba: So it's like my yard work, t-shirt, I love this thing. [00:16:01] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:16:01] Kaite Sciba: I think it's older than I am. And then, uh, an antique rifle that he restored when he was injured, and he did that, I dunno, 40 years ago. [00:16:12] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:16:12] Kaite Sciba: And so these three things, I use them, they serve me. [00:16:16] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:16:17] Kaite Sciba: And when I use them, I think of him and I pray for him. [00:16:20] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:16:21] Kaite Sciba: And so what it does for my relationship with my late father. [00:16:25] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:16:26] Kaite Sciba: Is that it prompts me to prayer for his soul. [00:16:28] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:16:29] Kaite Sciba: And it helps, it reminds me to love him in that way. Right? [00:16:33] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:16:34] Kaite Sciba: If I just had a box of his stuff under my bed, or for a while I had a camera that he used this really old awesome camera that he used, but I wasn't using it. [00:16:44] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:16:45] Kaite Sciba: And I offered it to my siblings and my brother took it, and then they used it. [00:16:50] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:16:50] Kaite Sciba: And it's fantastic. [00:16:51] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Katie, I noticed as you're talking about this, you're, this question is like, okay, does this serve? And then you, you just subtly kind of brought the Lord into this. There there's this question where you're inviting, I forget exactly how you said it, but like, how does this help me live the life the Lord is inviting me to live? [00:17:07] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. [00:17:08] Jim Jansen: Say more about that. [00:17:09] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. A lot of us know what our vocations are. Uh, some of my clients are priests. [00:17:15] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:17:16] Kaite Sciba: And, and so when I'm working with priests or laity, I ask them, what are the things in your life? What are the temporal commitments that you have that are cultivating your fiat? Hmm. How is this life that you're choosing to continue living, how is this helping you and supporting you on your path to heaven? That's so good. And someone might say like, well, if I have extra kitchen utensils, how is that getting in the way of me saying yes to God? I mean, it does get a little meta. [00:17:47] Jim Jansen: Oh, sure. Well, yeah. I mean, that's like. [00:17:50] Kaite Sciba: But. [00:17:50] Jim Jansen: Is this spoon sin? Like, well. [00:17:53] Kaite Sciba: Spoon, it sure is. Get rid of it. Yeah. Um, no, no. But when, when you have a home that's cleared of clutter. [00:18:01] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:18:03] Kaite Sciba: And it is peaceful to exist there. And I, I am a big believer of the concept that our homes should be a retreat. [00:18:13] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:18:14] Kaite Sciba: It's a retreat from the world. I know that there is a fight, there is spiritual warfare. I know the battleground is the soul. [00:18:21] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:18:21] Kaite Sciba: But a lot of the battle happens outside of our homes. [00:18:23] Jim Jansen: Right, right. [00:18:25] Kaite Sciba: And so if I could make my home a place that cultivates the peace of the Lord, it helps me say yes in my vocation, which my vocation is to make sure that my husband knows that he's loved. It's my task. And so how are the things in my home? How is even the general feel of my home helping that? And when you have a home that's overrun with clutter, it's, it's the worst because our clutter becomes, it's overstimulating. [00:18:57] Jim Jansen: Oh yeah. I mean, I noticed like when there is a, again, I'm a relatively neat, orderly person anyway. Some would say I might be a little extreme on the orderliness, but like I, when, when there are other parts of my life that are stressful, I find myself really craving that peace and that order. In the physical surrounding because it's, it's an attempt to try and create this space for the interior piece is what, what, what I'm really after. Oh, oh, for sure. But, but you know, I'm not just a spirit, I'm a body and a spirit. Yes. And so I need the physical surroundings Yes. To be conducive. [00:19:35] Kaite Sciba: Yes, we are. I say that in a lot of my talks. We are body and soul. [00:19:39] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:19:39] Kaite Sciba: Which means that the external, the material has an impact on us, and rightly so. It has. So by our nature, when you have a home that's lighter, it's a joy to exist there. [00:19:53] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:19:53] Kaite Sciba: I love that. After the, the first really hard purge I did on our house. [00:19:58] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:19:58] Kaite Sciba: And I was so proud of myself and I looked over my list and I realized that I checked every single box and I emailed Andrew at work. And I was so excited and I told him and I was like, I did it. We are ready for the baby to come. The house is purged of excess. Have you noticed? [00:20:19] Jim Jansen: Ooh. [00:20:19] Kaite Sciba: What do you think he said? [00:20:20] Jim Jansen: No. [00:20:21] Kaite Sciba: He said no. [00:20:22] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:20:23] Kaite Sciba: And initially this is okay, I'm gonna tell you why. But that could be, that was the best possible answer. [00:20:27] Jim Jansen: Right. That's a two-edged sword. It's like I've noticed, like I didn't miss any of the stuff we lost. [00:20:33] Kaite Sciba: I noticed 'cause you're exhausted all the time. [00:20:36] Jim Jansen: Right? Or, oh, I didn't like, no, I didn't. I didn't notice because I'm just not paying attention. So we're gonna give Andrew [00:20:42] Kaite Sciba: so yeah. [00:20:43] Jim Jansen: Benefit of the doubt. [00:20:44] Kaite Sciba: No, a hundred percent. So the reason why, initially I was like, you haven't noticed? For about five seconds. Right? Like what? And then I realized when we were moving things out of the way so we could access a room. [00:20:58] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:20:59] Kaite Sciba: When we were tripping over toddler toys. When we were moving piles of laundry from this spot to that spot so we could sit down. You better believe we noticed. [00:21:09] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:21:10] Kaite Sciba: And it was a pain in the rear. [00:21:11] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:21:11] Kaite Sciba: And then suddenly we're not doing that anymore. And it's like, we didn't notice. He didn't notice the relief. [00:21:18] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:21:18] Kaite Sciba: And I was over the moon. I was like, he didn't even know. Isn't that great? [00:21:23] Jim Jansen: Yeah. But but in retrospect, the relief was real. [00:21:27] Kaite Sciba: It was real. [00:21:28] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Okay. Katie, I, I just wanna, I, I'm gonna ask you some hard questions here. Okay. But first just context. I don't know how much of the history you dive into to on this, but like, how did we get here? I mean, I know okay. American consumerism, but like, how did this even become a thing? You know? I mean, like Ma and Pa and Laura, like Little House on the Prairie. Like, they, they never needed simplicity consultants, you know, like, how did we, how did our lives get so complicated? [00:21:56] Kaite Sciba: How did our lives get complicated? Well. And thinking about that. I think it went way back even before mom and pop, because even. [00:22:08] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:22:08] Kaite Sciba: Even they had distractions of some nature. We have concupiscent. Humanity has always reached for something other than God, and especially in American society. What we drive the iPhone, we have the stuff we have like that conveys value to us. This is how we receive it. [00:22:33] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:22:34] Kaite Sciba: You get a new thing, you get a little dopamine hit. [00:22:37] Jim Jansen: This is, you're like, huh? This is like the Olson girl, right? What was her name? Just in the, in the little house universe. I forget her name. [00:22:42] Kaite Sciba: Oh, I'm not familiar with it. [00:22:43] Jim Jansen: Oh no, it's great. There's listeners who are like, oh, it did, they're like screaming her name. I can't think of it, but whatever. The Olson, her dad was like the shopkeeper. I can't think of it. Anyway. Yeah, but this is, okay. This is an old, right. This is a thing because it's actually part of the stories, right? As idyllic. As their life was Nelly. Thank you. Nelly Olson. Right. Always had more stuff. [00:23:06] Kaite Sciba: Yeah, sure. [00:23:06] Jim Jansen: And the new stuff and the cool stuff and the, and it's like all the way back to the garden. This is. [00:23:10] Kaite Sciba: You have the temptation to keep up with the Joneses. [00:23:12] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:23:12] Kaite Sciba: And even so in the garden where I get, I get riled up about the garden, I get super mad about it because you have. [00:23:21] Jim Jansen: It was not a great day. [00:23:22] Kaite Sciba: It was not. [00:23:23] Jim Jansen: Keep going. [00:23:25] Kaite Sciba: So you have the serpent who comes in and he's selling eve something that she already has. [00:23:30] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:23:31] Kaite Sciba: And he is like, you know, if you eat of this fruit, God knows that you'll become like him. She already was. [00:23:38] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:23:39] Kaite Sciba: Made in the image and likeness of her creator. She had something that the ser serpent couldn't even dream of possessing. [00:23:45] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:23:46] Kaite Sciba: We are still chasing things that will make us feel more worthy, more valuable. [00:23:54] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:23:55] Kaite Sciba: We still compare ourselves to other people for the sake of feeling superior. And when we do feel inferior, we want to up the game. No. No. Okay. Do you remember there was this awesome song that came out in 1999 and it was a speech set against music, and it was called Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen. [00:24:17] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Uh, it was like the Kirk Vonnegut. [00:24:19] Kaite Sciba: Ladies and Gentlemen. [00:24:21] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:24:21] Kaite Sciba: Of the class of 99. [00:24:22] Jim Jansen: Yes, I remember that. [00:24:23] Kaite Sciba: Wear sunscreen. Okay. I was like stinking 12, 13 when that song came out. And the line that has stayed with me all of these years is when he says, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end it's only with yourself. [00:24:44] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:24:45] Kaite Sciba: And in terms of Holy Simplicity, the race with yourself is, am I closer to Jesus today or a little bit farther away? [00:24:56] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:24:57] Kaite Sciba: There's not really much neutral territory. Yeah. And so when I am simplifying in my life, in my own home, when I'm working with clients, we are going for a simple, clear, peaceful life that will better welcome the presence of God. You know, the very first clients I had was a family in Lincoln. They were expecting their seventh child, and they heard me speak on Holy Simplicity, and she reached out and she said, are you a consultant? And I was like, I sure am. [00:25:38] Jim Jansen: That's great. [00:25:39] Kaite Sciba: Right now. I just started. [00:25:41] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:25:41] Kaite Sciba: You know, and so I went to their home and I asked them. What their goals were. [00:25:48] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:25:48] Kaite Sciba: What do you want? They gave me a tour of their beautiful home, this a large old home. And I'll never forget, the husband said, I want our home to reflect the love of the father. [00:26:00] Jim Jansen: Wow. That's awesome. [00:26:02] Kaite Sciba: I was blown away. I was blown away. And I was like, talk about that. [00:26:06] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:26:07] Kaite Sciba: And when, when we are living a life of faith, when we're in union with the Lord, what are the fruits of that peace, confidence in God calm, regardless of what's happening externally. And what, what do we experience when we're apart from God? [00:26:28] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:26:28] Kaite Sciba: Chaos. [00:26:29] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:26:30] Kaite Sciba: Uncertainty. What do I do? You know, where do I begin? And so he wanted his whole home to reflect the love of the father. And I was like, let's do that. Should we start in the kitchen? You know? And it was. [00:26:43] Jim Jansen: Wow. [00:26:43] Kaite Sciba: It was incredibly powerful. So little by little we went through different sections of different rooms and rid their home of excess. And the entire time I made sure that I was encouraging their participation in their marriage because at that time they had two different master bedrooms. [00:27:10] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:27:11] Kaite Sciba: And you know, they had a lot of kids and they were very tired. All of their children were very little. [00:27:17] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:27:17] Kaite Sciba: He was working full-time. So with with that life, you're just exhausted. Right? Yeah. So sometimes it was like, all right, all I can manage is just falling asleep on this bed, in this room over here. Goodnight. Right. And so they had some of their stuff in this master bedroom and then some in their intended master bedroom. [00:27:36] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:27:36] Kaite Sciba: One of the first projects we worked on was, let's move out. [00:27:40] Jim Jansen: Let's get that together. [00:27:41] Kaite Sciba: Of one of these rooms. [00:27:43] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:27:44] Kaite Sciba: And we are gonna make this room. This is really the heart of the home. [00:27:48] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. Yeah. [00:27:50] Kaite Sciba: So let's make sure that the two of you are united not only in like, this is where we live, but this is our space, this is our room. [00:27:59] Jim Jansen: Right. Well, I mean it's, you know, I'm thinking back, there's so many biblical episodes, but I remember, you know, like, uh, Abraham and lot way early in, in Genesis, like they have to separate 'cause they've got too much stuff. [00:28:11] Kaite Sciba: Right, right. [00:28:12] Jim Jansen: And in this story, like literally it's the stuff and the space and the, all of that's like, it's. I mean, a little dramatic, but like it's physically separating this, this couple. [00:28:21] Kaite Sciba: Right. [00:28:22] Jim Jansen: Katie, I, I wanna give you a chance, like I wanna dive into like the process and what you do and how you help people. But, you know, we were talking again, I think be before we turn the, the mics on, this is trendy now, right? Minimalism and simplicity and, you know, it's like, I mean, you can, you know, look online and find some books, but this is deep in our Catholic tradition. [00:28:44] Kaite Sciba: Yes. [00:28:45] Jim Jansen: Can you speak a little bit to that? [00:28:47] Kaite Sciba: Yes. So I realized in our own experience of purging before baby number three came, I realized how deeply spiritual and how deeply psychological this would become, because the implication was, okay, I'm, I'm going to love people through blessing them, and you can't. You can't do that without detachment from stuff. And there's, I mean, I love the story of the rich young man so much, although it, it is heartbreaking. [00:29:24] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:29:25] Kaite Sciba: And you have this young man who wants to live as faithfully as possible. [00:29:30] Jim Jansen: Right. He's got a good heart. [00:29:31] Kaite Sciba: He's got a great heart. And it's so beautiful because in this situation, when he approaches our Lord, it says in scripture that Jesus looked upon him with love. [00:29:40] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:29:41] Kaite Sciba: Even before Jesus issued his challenge. Right. So he goes to, uh, the rich young man goes to Jesus, wants to live the faith more deeply. Tells Jesus everything you just told me to do, I'm already doing it. I'm pretty faithful. I'm a cradle Catholic, Lord. Yeah. I'm, I'm doing all, I'm praying my rosary, I'm going to daily mess. [00:30:01] Jim Jansen: Yep. [00:30:01] Kaite Sciba: And so Jesus gets right to the heart of the issue and identifies this man's attachments. [00:30:09] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:30:09] Kaite Sciba: Which in this story was his wealth. [00:30:10] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:30:12] Kaite Sciba: Sell your possessions, give to the poor and follow me. Issuing that invitation of not just like, come and listen to what I have to say, but. [00:30:22] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:30:23] Kaite Sciba: Come join us. Come be in my inner circle, follow me, and the rich young man walks away sad. What breaks my heart about that story is that he did not have to walk away. God will offer us challenges in our lives never ceases to do so, never ceases to stretch us. Right. But in instead of walking away sad, we can very honestly and vulnerably and earnestly say, I don't know how to do that. [00:30:57] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:30:58] Kaite Sciba: I don't know of any situations when the Lord issues a challenge either scripturally or in our own lives. Without pairing it with grace to uphold. [00:31:10] Jim Jansen: Right. Like he'll ask something hard and something that we can't do without his help. [00:31:18] Kaite Sciba: Apart from me, you can do nothing. [00:31:19] Jim Jansen: Right. But the help is there. [00:31:20] Kaite Sciba: The help is there. [00:31:21] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:31:21] Kaite Sciba: The help is there. And so when I recognize my attachments, especially if I recognize I have attachments that I would like to stay attached to, Lord. Right, thank you. [00:31:32] Jim Jansen: Yes. [00:31:33] Kaite Sciba: And then, but then I ask him like, give me the grace to desire detachment. [00:31:39] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's so ignatius. Right? Like, you know, saying Ignatius is like, you should ask for a desire to be, you know, poor and rejected. And it's like, but if you can't ask for that, ask for the grace to want that. Yes. Amen. Right. If you don't really want it yet. [00:31:52] Kaite Sciba: Amen. I just told my kids today the same thing. I was like, sometimes you go to prayer, you don't feel like praying. Right. And they just kind of look at me and I was like, it's okay. You can say yes. And uh, and I said, it's just very real. And I said, but when you go to pray, if you don't feel like praying, you can tell Jesus I don't feel like it. [00:32:08] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:32:09] Kaite Sciba: And that was a prayer. [00:32:10] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:32:11] Kaite Sciba: You know, so, but going back to our point, the rich young man walking away sad, we don't have to do that. We don't have to walk away sad when we know he's asking us to detach from the world and adhere to him. [00:32:26] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:32:26] Kaite Sciba: Which is the whole point. It is the whole point. Your stuff. Who was it? I've heard priests say maybe a handful of priests say that they never went to a burial that had a U-Haul. [00:32:37] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:32:38] Kaite Sciba: You know, you can't take it with you. Right. You came in here with nothing like you're gonna leave the same way. [00:32:43] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:32:44] Kaite Sciba: Right. So what, what is it that I want to take with me and present to the Lord before I enter his kingdom? And I want to take with me, love for him and love of my fellow man. [00:33:01] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:33:01] Kaite Sciba: And I want, especially in light of my vocation, I want to make sure that I loved as much as I possibly could. And that means that my focus has to be on. My vocation and not at all the stuff around me. Right? 'cause when we live in super cluttered homes, our homes exhaust us. [00:33:24] Jim Jansen: Yeah. It's just, well, it's just practical, right? Yeah. I mean, it's like if I have this thing, it either gets neglected and then it starts to allow you to collect dust and it becomes a problem. Or I spend a lot of time maintaining it and caring for it, or even just using it. But it's like there's only a limited amount of fun and free time we have. And do I wanna spend it on this thing or do I want to spend it elsewhere? [00:33:51] Kaite Sciba: Can I tell you about Iceland. [00:33:53] Jim Jansen: Yes. [00:33:54] Kaite Sciba: Okay. [00:33:54] Jim Jansen: So actually I was, I'm actually really glad this came up. Go. [00:33:56] Kaite Sciba: Okay. So I went to Iceland. I went to Iceland in the late summer of 2021. I started saving for Iceland three years before then. And what happened was I was a somewhat postpartum mother of five. I was exhausted. I was over touched, you know. [00:34:18] Jim Jansen: All the kids. Yeah. [00:34:19] Kaite Sciba: I was like, I can't even. [00:34:20] Jim Jansen: Just, just to make sure it was the kids. [00:34:21] Kaite Sciba: It was, it was the, it was 100% the kids. I was like, oh my gosh. I, uh, if you touch me one more time, I'm a straight up die. Andrew and I watched this movie that was shot in Iceland. [00:34:32] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:34:32] Kaite Sciba: And I looked at the sweeping landscape and how stunning the vistas were, and I looked at him and I was like, I have to go. And I said, I really wanna go. Like I have to go. And he said, mm... find a friend. And he said, and then if you wanna save, and at that time we're, we're a mostly single income family, right? Who needed to prioritize like bread and eggs for the kids. Right? [00:35:03] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:35:03] Kaite Sciba: So saving for like a fun getaway to Iceland was not at all a priority. So I was saving probably like $5 a month. [00:35:12] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:35:12] Kaite Sciba: To start, but it was something. [00:35:14] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:35:14] Kaite Sciba: And then Iceland became my point of reference. So when I was evaluating my own possessions, what to keep, what to get rid of, I would hold up a thing that I thought maybe I could sell this on Facebook. And I would look at the thing and I would say, do I want this? Or do I want a cup of coffee in Iceland? [00:35:35] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's so good. [00:35:36] Kaite Sciba: I love that. And you know, Iceland won out in every situation, and before you knew it, I had cash stuffed in this little teat tin in the top drawer of my dresser that I still have this teat tin. And I stuffed $3,000 in that little tea tin over the course of three years just selling stuff because my focus was laser sharp. [00:35:59] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:35:59] Kaite Sciba: I was gonna get to Iceland. [00:36:01] Jim Jansen: Katie, I love that because you're like, wait, it's not like just say no to this thing. Say no to this thing. I, you know, Matthew Kelly has that, that great line. Like you can't say no without a deeper Yes. [00:36:10] Kaite Sciba: Praise God. Yeah. [00:36:11] Jim Jansen: Um, right. And like Iceland was your deeper Yes. [00:36:15] Kaite Sciba: It was. It was. And it was. [00:36:16] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's so good. [00:36:17] Kaite Sciba: It was a glorious experience. I ended up going by myself. The friend I was supposed to go with, she couldn't go. And I was like, that's okay, I'll still go. And it was. A very strong spiritual experience. What I ended up experiencing was more of a pilgrimage. [00:36:37] Jim Jansen: That's what I was gonna say. Did it become a pilgrimage? [00:36:39] Kaite Sciba: Huge. Yeah. Huge. I have a devotion to our Lady, star of the Sea. Yeah. And I was looking for a Catholic parish to attend Mass on Sunday, and it was our Lady Star of the Sea. And I renewed my consecration to her under that title, standing in front of a statue of our Lady Star of the Sea, which is such an esoteric title of Mary here in the Midwest because. [00:37:00] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:37:01] Kaite Sciba: You can't get any farther from the ocean than Nebraska, you know? Yeah. So it's like a record. And then there were places where I was surprised by God. I went and I pulled over next to this gorgeous waterfall, but I was standing in line to go see the waterfall and I thought, well, while I'm waiting I'll just go for a walk. [00:37:20] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:37:21] Kaite Sciba: And I was just talking to God while I was walking and I found a cave and I. Peered into the cave and stepped in, and I found another waterfall that was completely enclosed. There was nobody in there, and I just like, I was blown away. It was, it was so beautiful. The, the whole trip was laced with Encounters of the Divine, and I was so incredibly grateful. And what that came from was recognizing that I wanted that experience instead of the stuff that was going unused at my home. [00:38:00] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Okay. So people are like, okay, find your own Iceland. Figure out what that is. What, what's your deeper Yes. What's the thing that you're after? Katie then, then what do we do? Like what? Like just practically here, what do you, what do you do once you find like that thing that you want more than the stuff. [00:38:19] Kaite Sciba: Right? [00:38:19] Jim Jansen: How do you go through the stuff? [00:38:21] Kaite Sciba: So what I invite people to use as their deeper Yes. Is really at, at least if you can't identify something here in this life, then make your deeper Yes. Heaven. [00:38:33] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's good. [00:38:34] Kaite Sciba: 'cause attachment, yeah. Isn't it? Heaven is good. Uh, attachment to anything in this world [00:38:40] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:38:40] Kaite Sciba: Is going to keep you in this world. But St. John Bosco said, walk with your feet on earth, but your heart in heaven. [00:38:46] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:38:47] Kaite Sciba: And St. Bernard of Clairvaux, he asked the question, what does it matter in light of eternity? [00:38:55] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh dang. That's good. [00:38:57] Kaite Sciba: Isn't it? It's, it's beautiful. So when you're keeping something material, or if your attachments are not your stuff, but how you spend your time. [00:39:09] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:39:11] Kaite Sciba: What does it matter in light of eternity is a fantastic question for that. Now, are you, are you spending your time in a way that is furthering your vocation for priests? I ask them, my clients, especially how you're spending your time, is that contributing to how well you're imitating Christ? Because they're called to live in persona, Christie. Right? And that doesn't just shut off. Yeah. Once they leave the confessional. Right? And so when you make the deeper yes heaven, you are like, okay, well my path to heaven is my vocation, right? And so when you throw yourself into being a strong image of our Lord, within your vocation. The significance of the stuff around you decreases drastically. But I understand you probably want some practical steps. Yeah. [00:40:03] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Although I have to ask this, like, Katie, this is hard stuff. Do you ever get fired on like the first come they're like, nevermind, you can go, you can go now. Like. [00:40:14] Kaite Sciba: Um, I, I wouldn't say I've gotten fired, but I have had a couple of clients who have booked only a couple sessions. [00:40:21] Jim Jansen: Right. Well, and, and just resistance. You're like, thank you, thank you. I just wanted to get the garage set up and there's nothing else in my house that you need to see Katie sba. [00:40:29] Kaite Sciba: Right, right. Yeah. It is funny 'cause we go through, like, we'll go through the whole home. Clients will walk me through their whole home. Sometimes I'll have clients for years. [00:40:39] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:40:39] Kaite Sciba: And then I have clients who are like, that was fun. Thank you. And really what they were looking is for somebody to just declutter. [00:40:48] Jim Jansen: Sure. Yeah. [00:40:48] Kaite Sciba: But that's, that's not where I live. Sure. You know, that's not, that's not what my work is. So my work is to help clients simplify their lives. [00:40:57] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:40:58] Kaite Sciba: To, if you can imagine your path to heaven, an actual path. Let's kick off everything that's getting in the way. [00:41:04] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:41:05] Kaite Sciba: Rid your lives of distractions. [00:41:07] Jim Jansen: Oh, okay. So this is, so, okay, so this, you're talking about like Sure. All the stuff, and you maybe start there, but you're like, this expands, it's not just your, you know, your, your, your messy garage and your cluttered kitchen. It's your schedule and your social commitments and all of this. [00:41:23] Kaite Sciba: 100%. [00:41:24] Jim Jansen: Oh yes. Okay. Okay. But before we go there, just like, start us, like, give us like a really tangible example here, and then we can expand and talk about the other stuff. Schedule commitments, friendships. [00:41:35] Kaite Sciba: So when you're starting to go through your home, I always recommend to clients that they begin in the most frequently used places in their house. [00:41:43] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:41:44] Kaite Sciba: So that's the kitchen that's. The entryway. I really love starting in entryways because that's, that's your first encounter of your house every time you come home. [00:41:54] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:41:55] Kaite Sciba: Wherever you're entering. If it's through the garage or if it's through the front door, this is the first place where you're like, I am home. Mm-hmm. So I really love starting there, but not just that room. I will tell clients to start, I mean, start with one square foot. [00:42:12] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:42:12] Kaite Sciba: Just one square foot. You start in the most doable part of that room. The part where you're like, this is no big deal. I can get rid of this. This is trash. Okay. This is gone. [00:42:22] Jim Jansen: You know, this is like the Dave, Dave Ramsey does snowball for, uh, you know, for unofficial hoarders. Like, where we're like, ah, I got this stuff. It's like, that's fine. Just let's, we're gonna start easy. [00:42:33] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. Oh yeah. Because when you start easy, you develop the muscle. [00:42:37] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:42:37] Kaite Sciba: Right. So you start in a space that is frequently used. And then you identify the purpose of that space. This is a paramount step that a lot of people miss. [00:42:50] Jim Jansen: Oh, that's huge. Yeah. [00:42:51] Kaite Sciba: You have a multipurpose room. Ugh. No, I I do not like that term. Nope. Because if you have a multipurpose room, that room turns into a catchall. [00:43:01] Jim Jansen: Right. Then you can have, you have excuse to have all sorts of clutter. Yeah. For all the purposes. [00:43:05] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. For all the purposes. [00:43:07] Jim Jansen: Double, double clutter. [00:43:08] Kaite Sciba: Right. So once you identify a space mm-hmm. Once you define it and say, this space needs to serve this purpose. Then it becomes very easy to identify what stays and what goes. Yeah. If you do not define the space, then there, then what else? What goes in there? Anything. Everything. Mm-hmm. And then it takes over. I had clients who, they had a small entry outside of their garage and they're like, this is just, this is kind of where laundry goes. This is where this goes. That, yeah. And I said, well, what's the space for? Why do we have this here? Or if it doesn't have a purpose right now, what do you want it to be? Because mm-hmm. You know, dominion and all that. Mm-hmm. Once they defined the space, that frustration in the form, the room was gone. [00:44:00] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:44:01] Kaite Sciba: So you identify the space, what is this for? You don't keep forks in your bedroom. Right. So forks go in the kitchen. [00:44:11] Jim Jansen: Maybe you don't, but. [00:44:14] Kaite Sciba: So everything that corresponds to that purpose gets to stay in the room. [00:44:19] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:44:19] Kaite Sciba: Right. And anything that doesn't participate in that purpose has to go, it needs to be tossed and needs to be donated. It needs to be put away in your house if you're keeping it. [00:44:30] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh, that's, so that, I mean, that makes so much sense. What's ne, I mean there then there's like a removal. Is there a process as you're, like, once you define the purpose, you just go to town? Or is there a, is there a method after that as well? [00:44:43] Kaite Sciba: So once you define the purpose, then you clear the trash, usually pretty identifiable. Mm. The trash and then the items that are in that space that don't contribute to that purpose. Which is why I mentioned the forks in, in the bedroom. Right, right. Like there's no point to having that in there. That goes in the kitchen quite obviously. Mm-hmm. Right. I'm not keeping sheets in the kitchen. Obviously. So the things that go in particular rooms that participate in that room's purpose. [00:45:12] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:45:12] Kaite Sciba: Those get to stay. And then you evaluate again, like little by little. [00:45:20] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:45:20] Kaite Sciba: Little by little. I tell my clients, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Mm-hmm. That's it. And when you're going little by little evaluating, I have this thing in this room, is it worth keeping? [00:45:37] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:45:37] Kaite Sciba: Is it a pain in the rear when they're going through clothes? I'm like, especially women, we do this. We have clothes that we hate wearing and ev like so many women I know have this, I'm not gonna say every woman, but Yeah. We have clothes that we're like, I hate how I feel in this. It's uncomfortable. I feel maybe not flattered in this outfit. I hate it. I'm keeping it. Why are we doing this? [00:46:05] Jim Jansen: Yeah, but, but what is the why? I mean, and I don't need to like know and sign women's heads here, but like, I think it's that deeper why it's like, oh, 'cause I feel guilty that I bought this. I'm not wearing it, or I feel [00:46:20] Kaite Sciba: there's a sunk sunk cost fallacy. Right, right. I spent money on this. I should use it. I should wear it. I should keep it. Maybe I'll use it eventually. I just need to lose 10 pounds and then it'll fit. [00:46:32] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:46:32] Kaite Sciba: Or I got this when I, I wasn't having a family yet, so I'm gonna keep this after the kids so I can get in shape and wear this again. It's silly. [00:46:43] Jim Jansen: Right? [00:46:43] Kaite Sciba: It's silly. [00:46:44] Jim Jansen: How do you talk? But those things are powerful and they keep us stuck. How do you untwist that for people? [00:46:50] Kaite Sciba: So when it comes to, I mean the, the whole postpartum wardrobe thing that's real. So sometimes you have to think of, you have to think in terms of this particular person's reality. [00:47:02] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:47:03] Kaite Sciba: But really clothes, outfits, stuff like that, those are tools. [00:47:07] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:47:09] Kaite Sciba: So I'm going to use this. Are you able to use this right now? Do you like how you look when you wear it? Okay, then we keep it. But are you, are you holding onto this because you hope that maybe life will be a little different and then you can wear this thing. [00:47:30] Jim Jansen: Now? Is there a timeline? Like at some levels, like I hope someday and if you know, and like, and if the reasonable question is yes, someday is at soonest four years away, is there a reasonable period of time where it's like, fine, hold this thing, but if you don't use it in the next however many months, then you know it's It's too far out. Yeah. And you need to get rid of it. [00:47:50] Kaite Sciba: Yeah. Typically people when they're going through their clothes, they abide by a rule that is like about a year. [00:47:56] Jim Jansen: About a year. Yeah. [00:47:57] Kaite Sciba: A year or so. Or if you are a mother and you're actively having children and your body is going through all of those very sacred, very holy changes, then I would extend that to two years. [00:48:08] Jim Jansen: Sure. [00:48:08] Kaite Sciba: Right. There is a lot. There's a a very frequent inclination, frequently occurring inclination that I hear that is I'll, I'll keep this for now. For now. [00:48:21] Jim Jansen: Uhhuh. [00:48:22] Kaite Sciba: I'll just put this right here for now. I'm not ready to get rid of this. I'll just put it here for now. [00:48:26] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:48:27] Kaite Sciba: For now can be a useful tool. Sure. Like when we were getting rid of our microwave, we put it in this other room for now, but it had an expiration date. [00:48:36] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:48:36] Kaite Sciba: Without that expiration date for now is like infinity, right? Like what does it matter? You know? I still own it. I'm never gonna think about this again, but it's still mine, right? [00:48:45] Jim Jansen: So, yeah. So you gotta put a date on it if you're doing for now. [00:48:49] Kaite Sciba: Most certainly. Yeah. [00:48:50] Jim Jansen: Okay. Katie, have we gotten the process here all [00:48:53] Kaite Sciba: out? So the step one is identifying the purpose uhhuh of the space. Step two is clearing out the trash. [00:49:00] Jim Jansen: Check. [00:49:00] Kaite Sciba: That's there. Step three is relocating items that distract. Or fail to contribute to the purpose of the space. [00:49:10] Jim Jansen: Got it. [00:49:10] Kaite Sciba: And when we're relocating, that looks like tossing stuff that's thread bare not useful anymore. [00:49:16] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:49:17] Kaite Sciba: Donating things that aren't serving you, or just straight up putting something away. If you find a fork in your bedroom, go put it in the kitchen. [00:49:25] Jim Jansen: Right, right. [00:49:26] Kaite Sciba: Right? And then step four is straightening the space. Continuing to consider whether remaining items get to stay. [00:49:34] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:49:35] Kaite Sciba: And I say, get to stay because you are made in the image and likeness of our creator To be in your life is a privilege. [00:49:42] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:49:43] Kaite Sciba: Even if it's a material thing. Material things don't get to stay in your life unless you with dominion, decide. [00:49:53] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh, that's good. And yeah, it's like I'm not just a passive recipient of my life. I actually am a responsible steward of my life. [00:50:03] Kaite Sciba: Right. And you know. Here's what's really cool about that four step process is that it works spiritually too. [00:50:10] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:50:10] Kaite Sciba: So when you're evaluating the purpose of the room, what is the purpose of your life? And I know because I am no longer discerning my vocation. Mm-hmm. My job is to be the face of Christ to my husband. That is my purpose. In addition to being a beloved daughter. [00:50:26] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:50:28] Kaite Sciba: And then a wife and then a mother. And are the things in my life, my temporal commitments, my material possessions? Are these things cultivating my fiat? Are they distracting me? I take out the trash by going to confession. Right. Yeah. So important because if you're going to do an impression of our Lord, that that means grace. Right? [00:50:52] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:50:53] Kaite Sciba: And that means detaching from sin. And then when you are evaluating your attachments, I was talking to a Jesuit recently and he said. Ask yourself, what are my attachments? What are the things that I'm afraid to let go of that at the thought of letting go of this behavior, this stuff makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. [00:51:17] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. That's the stuff for prayer. That's like. [00:51:21] Kaite Sciba: That's the stuff for prayer. [00:51:22] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Jesus is like, let's, he's a good friend. It's like, let's talk about that. [00:51:26] Kaite Sciba: Let's, I know, right? Yeah. And you, you don't have to be afraid to approach him with your own anxieties. He said, in the dire of St. Fina, let the sinner not be afraid to approach me. [00:51:38] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I mean, our time is flying here. There's so many things. Can I ask a couple of really fast, like rapid fire hard questions? [00:51:45] Kaite Sciba: Oh, man. Okay. [00:51:46] Jim Jansen: Okay. So farmers. [00:51:48] Kaite Sciba: Farmers? [00:51:49] Jim Jansen: No, I mean, just like all the, and like just guys tools, like all the stuff I'm gonna, I'm gonna use this someday. It's like, it's just like a half thing of bailing wires. Like, no, no, no, I'm gonna use it. Like how do you deal with the, uh, it's gonna be useful someday I'm gonna need it. I don't wanna have to buy it. There's plenty of room in this barn. Yeah. How do you, how do you deal with that? [00:52:05] Kaite Sciba: Alright, so that's actually a question I've gotten before. [00:52:08] Jim Jansen: I believe it. [00:52:09] Kaite Sciba: Oh, and when it comes to tools, things that are useful and can serve some purpose, that corresponds with your life's work, right? Mm-hmm. So if you're a farmer, if you're a craftsman, if you're a handyman and you have a tool, I remember my dad buying a tool at Menards when I was a kid, and he said, I buy the tool. So in 10 years I've still got it. [00:52:31] Jim Jansen: Yeah. [00:52:32] Kaite Sciba: And I was like, all right. And so that kind of etched itself in my brain, if you are using it. [00:52:37] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:52:38] Kaite Sciba: Right. [00:52:39] Jim Jansen: Oh, you're gonna make me use it. [00:52:40] Kaite Sciba: Also be open to letting people borrow it. [00:52:46] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:52:46] Kaite Sciba: Right. So important. [00:52:48] Jim Jansen: Right? If I've got it, it's gotta be a gift to someone. Even if it's not to me consistently, then it could be for others. [00:52:54] Kaite Sciba: It's fine if your, if your space allows for holding onto things that actually serve the life God is asking you to live, keep it good, wonderful, but keep it with an open hand so other people gain use of it. If you have things that are not serving you. [00:53:13] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:53:14] Kaite Sciba: That are from a life gone by or a life that is not yours to live, uh, collections of things from forever ago. [00:53:22] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:53:24] Kaite Sciba: Okay. A lot of it go if you have heaps and heaps of books and you are not a reader. I just have some questions, you know. [00:53:32] Jim Jansen: Okay. Stop. You're making me uncomfortable. Yeah. Okay. Hard question number two, go gif gift giving. Like this, family member's love language is giving gifts and so they're just constantly giving you gifts and then they'd be hurt to know if the thing isn't there. [00:53:45] Kaite Sciba: Mm. That is, that is hard. That's a hard situation. [00:53:49] Jim Jansen: See, I told you it was a hard question. [00:53:50] Kaite Sciba: And the, what I advise in that situation is when you receive a gift, that item becomes yours, yours to do with what you will. [00:53:59] Jim Jansen: Hmm. [00:53:59] Kaite Sciba: And sometimes you encounter a follow up question where, where's that sweet outfit I, I gave my grandchild. Right. Or the, the follow up, you know, gift giver wants to know where is this thing? And then you can honestly answer. [00:54:17] Jim Jansen: It's being used. [00:54:18] Kaite Sciba: It wasn't, you can say by not that you let it go by saying like, you know, we encountered somebody who had a need. [00:54:26] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Uh, that's good. Okay. Katie? There are people who are like hearing this, and I'm just imagining that the listener who's kind of like, oh, they're kind of like standing on the edge that like, I want this, I am afraid of this. I need this. I don't know how to do it. It's all I wanna get started. It's all overwhelming. Can you talk, like, talk about the effects of some of the people who invade? I mean, just I want you to tell some stories of clients, you know, don't, don't share the names, but like, people who, like what happened when they went for it? Yeah, when, when they, when they did it. [00:55:03] Kaite Sciba: When I finished with my first clients, so we were working together for almost her entire pregnancy. So like I said, she was expecting their seventh. [00:55:13] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:55:15] Kaite Sciba: In our initial appointment, they gave me a tour of their home. [00:55:19] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:55:20] Kaite Sciba: And I asked them why they bought the house, what they envisioned, what they bought the house, because we don't buy our homes thinking, I can't wait for this place to stress me out. I can't wait until this house becomes a pain in my rear. Right. So I asked them, I asked them to go back to that time when they were like hopeful and excited about this new house. [00:55:41] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:55:42] Kaite Sciba: And they were telling me just the, the visions that they had for it after months of working together. And really, they worked hard. [00:55:50] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:55:50] Kaite Sciba: They were focused. And it was amazing when our, in our last session, I gave them a tour of their home and I showed them the progress and I, I said, the first time I was in this room. [00:56:07] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:56:08] Kaite Sciba: This was my experience. I had to step over boxes. I had to move things out of the way in order to get over to that corner. There were so many books on this shelf that that shelf was breaking. And I had, I went through and I reminded them of where they started. [00:56:24] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:56:26] Kaite Sciba: And they were amazed because in all of their focus, they forgot the beginning. [00:56:32] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:56:32] Kaite Sciba: They forgot why it was that they got started. That was incredibly rewarding. [00:56:38] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:56:39] Kaite Sciba: It's also really freeing when I get a text from a client and they, in between sessions, have worked on maybe a dresser top and they've just cleared it and they send me a picture. They're like, look what I did. And I'm like, how does it feel? Because we know we're, when we are in cleared spaces. [00:56:58] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:56:58] Kaite Sciba: Gawl, doesn't the room feel lighter? [00:56:59] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it does. [00:57:01] Kaite Sciba: So these are the effects. People delight in their spaces and they actually enjoy living. In that home that has now really become more of a retreat. [00:57:13] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm. [00:57:14] Kaite Sciba: So this is a place, especially when I'm working with clergy, these men are shepherds and I want so much for them to go from the residents in a state of peace to their flocks. Because if your, if your home is overrun with stuff and you can't find things, you don't know where stuff is, or there's just too much clutter and you're going to serve the congregation from that space, you are going to be impacted. Right. That's going to come out in your ministry, even if you're not a priest, that's going to come out in how you interact with your spouse, how you interact with your children. [00:57:51] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Katie, I'm just like, as, as I'm listening to you talk here, I'm just to realize like, what a gift this is because, you know, I think we, we talked about this before we, again, before we turned on the mics that like. At one level, it's like, well, none of this is rocket science. But there are so many deep habits of like, history. You know, my dad was a product of the Depression. And so they like, they kind of hoarded canned goods. 'cause there's a time in his life where they didn't have canned goods. And there's all these like things that are deep in us and have someone accompany us into gospel simplicity, into holy simplicity, into living this life. It really is a, like any aspect of discipleship, it is something that you need to be kind of mentored and helped into. And you found this space where you're able to accompany people into this Holy simplicity. It's really beautiful. [00:58:44] Kaite Sciba: I'm extremely humbled. Very, very grateful for it. [00:58:47] Jim Jansen: Katie, how do people get ahold of you if they, if they want to connect? [00:58:50] Kaite Sciba: You can find me on my website, which is katiesciba.com. [00:58:55] Jim Jansen: Okay. And spell. It's K-A-T-I-E-S-C-I-B-A. [00:58:59] Kaite Sciba: That's me. [00:59:00] Jim Jansen: KatieSciba.com. [00:59:01] Kaite Sciba: And then you could email me at scibasimplicity@gmail.com. [00:59:07] Jim Jansen: Okay. We will link to both of those. For those of you who are like driving or walking the dog, don't write it down. Just wait and it'll be in the show notes. It'll be fine. Katie, thank you. [00:59:16] Kaite Sciba: Thank you. This has been so great. Thanks a lot, Jim.. [00:59:18] Jim Jansen: Yeah, this. [00:59:19] Kaite Sciba: I'm grateful. [00:59:19] Jim Jansen: This, oh yeah. This is a lot of fun. Alright, everybody. You know somebody who needs to hear this. Now, be careful with this. Like, don't, like, hey, you should listen to this podcast. Don't weaponize this. The equip cast is not a weapon. Uh, but if you know somebody who you think would, would really benefit for this, let the Lord bring that person to mind. You. Share it out with a friend. Let it be a blessing. Thanks everybody. Thanks for listening to the Quip Cast. We hope this episode has inspired you to live your faith and equip you to be fruitful in your mission. Stay connected with us by going to equip dot arch omaha.org. God bless and see you next time.