[00:00:21] Jim Jansen: All right, here we go. Out for a walk here with Adam Stevenson. we're gonna do, do a little hot take quick here. Adam, what do you got for us? [00:00:32] Adam Stephenson: I think if I could say a hot take, and it might be kinda hot, , I think that you should go to the parish in whose boundaries you live in. [00:00:42] Jim Jansen: Ooh, okay. That's... Oh, dang. Okay. So I, I like that a lot, but I'm, like, making noises 'cause I'm conflicted because I'm gonna say 75% agree. So make your case. [00:00:56] Adam Stephenson: You know, there's a lot of ways you could say it in the negative as to why it's a bad idea... but I think just in the positive, I'm thinking of it simply, it'd be like a long distance relationship compared to a, a close distance relationship. I can love somebody who's close to me, I think better, ordinarily better than I can if someone lives far away from me. People don't always like long distance relationships. They can be hard. [00:01:18] Jim Jansen: Do, do you know my wife and I, like, the whole thing was long distance relationship? I feel... Is this personal? [00:01:22] Adam Stephenson: Great. This is great. [00:01:24] Jim Jansen: I'm just kidding. Go ahead. [00:01:24] Adam Stephenson: Was it easy for you? Was it hard for you? [00:01:26] Jim Jansen: No, I mean, it was hard, but it was actually... there was a blessing in it. [00:01:28] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:01:29] Jim Jansen: But I think I like your metaphor. Keep going. [00:01:30] Adam Stephenson: I think that's how it is, you know? I think as, as a parish, a parish is wanna love people, and if you're far away, it's hard to love that person because you have... there's distance. It's harder. And I think also something we don't always think about from the individual, like, how can you love your parish? And, and not a lot of parishes-- [00:01:46] Jim Jansen: Yes. [00:01:47] Adam Stephenson: Maybe think about this, but they, they feel it, where people aren't like, like, I'm giving you my love, individual, but does the individual always think that way about the parish too? Can you love your parish the way that you should if you're far away? [00:01:59] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Oh, this is like, when my kids are, like, struggling through, grade school friendships And then just asking them the question, like, okay How are you supposed to be a friend? And at the time, all their mind is about, like, "Oh, I w- I need a friend," but it's like, okay, where, where are you called to be a friend? And you're saying, like, uh, it's really hard to love someone if you're not in proximity to them. And if you're in proximity to this community of faith, it's easier for you to love them, to say nothing of it being easier for them to love you. [00:02:29] Adam Stephenson: But yeah, I think thatproximity really matters, and we don't always think about that in the Church. Like, a lot of times for the regular churchgoing person, or if I'm gonna get a job at a church like I have, you know, I, I worked in a church a long, for a long time that was far from my home, and I loved it. It was great. Yeah. But there was always something missing, but I didn't know what it was. It was that I couldn't, I couldn't invest myself in the way that I wanted to because my home and my family were at a different parish. And so, it, um, I didn't realize it at the time. You know, you're in there, you're having a great time, but then when you actually start being in a relationship with someone that's close by, it opens your eyes, I suppose. [00:03:03] Jim Jansen: Yeah, I mean, all of this is like we're all, like, disoriented now in this modern world where we used to live and work in this community of people where, like, actually the people that you worshiped with were the people that you lived with. [00:03:16] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:03:16] Jim Jansen: They were in the neighborhood, and often they were the people you worked with. [00:03:18] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:03:19] Jim Jansen: You know? So if you had, like, kind of, like, a working class neighborhood, half the guys worked at two or three different, plants, companies, warehouses, whatever, farms. Like, they... You actually saw each other more than just once a week on Sunday. [00:03:33] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. That's really true, and I, I felt that a lot, or I have felt that as I've been involved in different small groups. Like, not to say anything about the guys that are in the small groups or the type of small group that it was, but I've just recently gotten into a small group with guys in my neighborhood. [00:03:45] Jim Jansen: Ooh. [00:03:45] Adam Stephenson: And you know what? I'll just say this, and the guys would say it if, if they were here, too. We're not all the, the smartest Catholics that ever lived. We're just a lot of normie Catholic guys, but we see each other all the time. We're on the same- um, sport team. We all go to the same school. You know, it's just, it's like a deeper relationship than, than I have with some of my other small group buddies who are, again, good dudes. You love them. They're smart. They're great Catholics, but you don't always get to see them as much as you want to 'cause they live 20 miles away or 20 minutes away. [00:04:11] Jim Jansen: Yeah. No, that's awesome. So I am 75% So I agree with everything you said. Kim and I had, like, a taste of this at our first kind of parish experience being married, where literally everything in our life, sports, school, parish, work, everything was pretty much within, like, a 10-minute radius. And that's just not typical. But it was, it was awesome. It was really good. [00:04:29] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:04:29] Jim Jansen: We actually got, to, like, really know and love and connect with people. Here's, my 25% no. Kinda like to the family analogy. So if your parish is like your family- Sometimes you do need to step away from your family for a while. To become the person you're supposed to be, uh, for safety, and I just wanna acknowledge, like, sometimes that's a thing. Sometimes, there is a real need for spiritual growth or for distance that you, you cannot have in your regular parish community. But I would say I think that's an extraordinary circumstance, and I don't think it's about, like, music preference or liturgical style or whatever. I think it's like, it's a substantial, serious issue that I can't be a part of what would normally be my calling to be in this geographic parish. But wanna make room for that- [00:05:21] Adam Stephenson: Yeah ... [00:05:21] Jim Jansen: because I think that happens sometimes. [00:05:24] Adam Stephenson: I think you're right about that. And I, I would agree on both points, that it happens, and that it's maybe more extraordinary than, than we'd like to, to say. [00:05:33] Jim Jansen: Well, then come and practice, right? It's like, you know, it's like, "Oh, that was, that was kind of a dull homily. We're out of here." You know? [00:05:38] Adam Stephenson: And then your parish loses a really good Catholic, and you're going- [00:05:41] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:05:41] Adam Stephenson: Somewhere else. And so that's, I, I just see that as a tough thing, and I think even to your call back to the ancient days of when everybody grew up around each other, those are good things that we long for. We long for that community, and we don't have it, and it might be a missing piece with some of our kids. I mean, our parish, St. Charles, has half of our folks- [00:05:58] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm ... [00:05:59] Adam Stephenson: coming from outside the boundaries, so- [00:06:00] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm ... [00:06:00] Adam Stephenson: I mean, I'm not saying anything about the people where I don't want them to come to St. Charles anymore. Like, I like the people. [00:06:05] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:06:05] Adam Stephenson: I want them probably to move closer to St. Charles so we can love them better. That's what I want. [00:06:08] Jim Jansen: There we go. [00:06:08] Adam Stephenson: But there's other parishes that have a much greater discrepancy, where only 20 or 30% of the people that go to their parish live inside their boundaries, and I think that this actually negatively affects us later on down the road, 'cause one of the greatest things I've seen with the young people that I've worked with in the church is when you have multiple influences that are different, that are speaking into your life- [00:06:27] Jim Jansen: Mm-hmm [00:06:27] Adam Stephenson: it roots you in the faith for all different kinds of experiences that you might have. And as you bounce communities and you don't go to school with the folks that live by you, or you don't worship with the people that live by you, you don't have as many of those proximal great influences. And better than great music, better than great liturgy, better than great homilies, I think, are real, live people that can, that can root you in the faith. [00:06:49] Jim Jansen: Okay, so I have to ask you this. What about, like, if it's a dying parish? Like, legitimate, not just sleepy, but like legit dying. It's on hospice. There's no way, barring a crazy miraculous intervention, that this parish continues to exist. Does that change anything? [00:07:04] Adam Stephenson: When I listen to people doing interviews on YouTube, they always repeat back the question when they don't have the right, when they don't have the answer right away. So, so Jim, when you say dying parish on hospice, give me some... I wanna make sure we're talking about the same thing here. [00:07:15] Jim Jansen: Like, uh, well, I mean, like, like the thing is prob- the parish is probably going to close as an institution, right? The people will still exist. But they will have to go someplace else 'cause Mass will no longer be offered in that facility because... this community is going to come to an end very soon. Does that change anything? [00:07:35] Adam Stephenson: It probably depends on the person. Like, for me as a person, I'll sometimes go into the extraordinary lengths. You know, I never saw, like, an apple that wasn't too far enough to go up there and try to climb and get it. So for me, I'd wanna say, like, I might stay longer than others might stay. I don't see that a lot in my lived experience out here. And even down in East Omaha where parishes are being closed, there's people that live around those parishes. Like, how do we go out and, and, and bring them in, bring them closer to God? [00:08:00] Jim Jansen: Right. Well, I was gonna say the mission field doesn't change. And those souls still need the gospel. [00:08:05] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:08:06] Jim Jansen: And if not that parish, who? But also back to the family analogy, it's like, well, just 'cause a family member's sick, like, you don't disengage. You actually accompany them through hospice, and you join on the journey. [00:08:16] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:08:16] Jim Jansen: Which again, we could stretch this metaphor too much here, but- [00:08:19] Adam Stephenson: Father Hunke, a guy that started at St. Charles Borromeo, where I go, he had said, "The best thing about church are the people, and the worst thing are the people." Probably the same thing about family too. It's the best and the worst. So, like, the closer you, you get drawn into your parish or the people that live around you... Like, even when you talk about loving your neighbor, we're talking about this a lot at St. Charles. How do we love our neighbor? Who is our neighbor ordinarily, extraordinarily? I think it's easy to say that my neighbor lives in downtown Omaha, 'cause it's, it- I think in some ways it can be easier to serve that person. I don't have to deal with the, with the reality of them OD'ing or having hard times or needing- [00:08:51] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:08:51] Adam Stephenson: I'm safe in West Omaha way out here. [00:08:53] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:08:53] Adam Stephenson: And not that it's not good that we go help them, but it can be a little safer as opposed to- [00:08:56] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:08:57] Adam Stephenson: my neighbor who, this isn't true, but who I hate because their dog barks all the time. They park cars directly across from my driveway, so I'm always in danger of back- Like, I don't like that person. [00:09:07] Jim Jansen: Right. [00:09:08] Adam Stephenson: But I'm called to love the person in front of me, and they're most often in front of me. [00:09:12] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Their needs aren't as extreme, but because they're constantly present and in my life, it actually taxes me and changes me more to love that person. [00:09:20] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:09:21] Jim Jansen: Yeah. Okay, so I got one more thing, 'cause we haven't addressed there's all these different, like, "Well, but I'm not being fed. Well, but I need this in my spiritual life. Well, we need friends. We need people of the same age group. We need r-," and there's, all these things are legit. I don't mean to, like, have a whiny voice when I say those things, because those are all legit needs. But here's why I don't think they, they really trump the, the need to try and actually be present at the parish where, you live within the boundaries. And that is- Back to the family analogy, the parish isn't supposed to be everything in your spiritual life. So like, yeah, family is supposed to be this huge dominant shaping force, sometimes for good, sometimes for ill, in our lives. But they're not supposed to be the only, right? They're supposed to be friends. They're supposed to be, you know, other parts of our life. So I would say your, your personal spiritual life, your familial spiritual life, doesn't have to totally subsist within your parish. You should have ecclesial movements, small groups. You should have, you know, camps and conferences and, your own kind of podcast. I don't know if, if anybody can recommend a good podcast, but you get the idea. Like, you should have like all these different things in your life, books, retreats, that are nourishing you spiritually, other communities that are supporting you, so that in like manner, people are like, "Wow, I go and I experience time with other friends and other families, and I come back and I recognize the idiosyncrasies and the gaps in my family. But I also appreciate some things about , my family a little bit more clearly because I've have these other things in my life." Yay? [00:11:00] Adam Stephenson: Yeah. [00:11:00] Jim Jansen: All right. That's it, everybody. That's our hot take. And just gonna say, it's actually a really hot day. [00:11:07] Adam Stephenson: Yeah, it is. [00:11:07] Jim Jansen: So it's like a really good hot day hot take. Thanks, Adam. [00:11:11] Adam Stephenson: Thank you.